


Are We Electric?

by brunetteandblond



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Band Fic, Canon Gay Relationship, Enemies to Friends, F/F, F/M, Falling For Friend's Sibling, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2019-10-06 09:19:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 123,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17342669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brunetteandblond/pseuds/brunetteandblond
Summary: Wynonna Earp wants to create a band. The only problem? She isn't good at making friends, per se.But then Principal Nedley forces Wynonna to start a band with Nicole 'goody two shoes' Haught. Wynonna reluctantly plays music with the redhead and their band expands to other outcasts at Purgatory High.Nicole tries to hate spending time with Wynonna. But it's hard when she meets and almost immediately falls for the delinquent's younger sibling, Waverly (who seems to be the opposite of her sister).Can Wynonna, Nicole, Waverly, and the rest of the gang survive this crazy era in their lives and make good music at the same time?





	1. Sincerity Is Scary

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! New fic time!

Wynonna Earp was notorious for three things: sex, drugs, and rock n roll (okay, and maybe violence). Rumor had it that she was crazy (and not just between the sheets) in a bad way. Like ‘emotionally unstable’ and ‘girl you would expect to have a knife on her at all times’ kind of crazy. She never bothered to make friends or try in school. She picked fights, arrived at school drunk, and smoked in the bathroom. Teachers hated her. Other students loathed her even more. In Purgatory, being different was always frowned upon. And if you looked ‘different’ up in the dictionary, the definition would be Wynonna Earp.

The jaded teen didn’t like many things, but she fucking loved rock music. And it was something she was actually good at. Singing, that is. Her voice could tear people apart. Every note seemed like it was ripped out of her, like pieces of her escaped her body when she sang. She became fluid, like she was no longer of this world. It was awe-inspiring. And terrifying. 

There was only one problem with how talented she was: she thought she deserved a band. But unfortunately for her, she wasn’t the kind of person that attracted people that wanted to join  _ her  _ band. 

“You could put up flyers around school,” Mercedes suggested as Wynonna took a swig of whiskey in the stairwell. 

The brunette glared at the one girl who seemed to be able to tolerate her in the whole school. She knew that it was because the redhead was the perve’s sister that no one wanted to get to know, but they were still outcasts bound together by their love of alcohol and hate for school work and bitchy cheerleaders. 

“We both know that those would be taken down seconds after they were put up,” Wynonna snorted as she took another sip. “Besides, I don’t want to get some fake to waste my precious time. I’m a busy lady.” 

Mercedes rolled her eyes, knowing exactly what her ‘friend’ meant by that. She was no fool. She heard about Wynonna’s tendency to sleep with anyone over the age of eighteen and had a car. 

“Well,  _ busy lady,  _ you’re never going to have a band if you don’t let people audition. Someone might surprise you, right?” After Wynonna stuck her tongue at the redhead, she added, “You know… Doc plays guitar. And you even admitted that he’s not half bad. Which means a lot coming from you.” 

Wynonna immediately tensed up at his name, cringing from head to toe. 

John Henry Holliday. Also known as the infamous ‘Doc.’ High school drop out and Wynonna’s ex-fling. For being nineteen, he talked and had the facial hair of a thirty-year-old (which was what attracted the brunette in the first place). Even at a young age, he was basically already running Shorty’s. The blue-eyed boy with a mischievous grin and a gun in his holster was practically an adult (with a stupid hat) and Wynonna liked that. She liked that a lot.

But he was trouble. Not that she wasn’t into trouble, because she was, but he was trouble in a very unusual way. He  _ wanted  _ her. Not just as a good lay, but as something more. And if there was one thing that could scare Wynonna Earp, it was feelings. 

So she ran for the hills and burned all the bridges behind her like she normally does. She didn’t even know how to let someone down easy. She’d prefer to destroy everything than to admit she god forbid felt something for another human being. 

“Be fucking serious, ‘Cedes. He won’t sneak me whiskey anymore let alone look at me. He would be the last person to join  _ my  _ band. Next?” 

Sometimes being Wynonna’s ‘friend’ was hard. Most of the time, Mercedes just wanted to smack some sense into her. But she knew that Wynonna didn’t listen to anything she didn’t want to hear (unless it came from her sister). 

“I  _ am  _ serious, Earp. In Purgatory, your options are pretty limited. Maybe you should give Chetri another thought.” 

Wynonna narrowed her eyes at Mercedes and wondered if her brain was working right. 

Jeremy Chetri was certainly one of a kind. An awkward genius who literally everyone else knew was gay, besides him. He was scrawny and let everyone push him around because all he wanted was to fit in. Kids at Purgatory High could smell him being desperate miles away. But it was impossible for a kid like him to fit in with the jocks and stoners. And sure, Wynonna felt for the poor Junior. But she wasn’t looking to make friends with an innocent kid she knew she couldn’t possibly relate to. 

“At least with him, you could have a cool sound,” Mercedes pointed out. “You wouldn’t even need anyone else with his electronic gadget shit.”

“Electronic gadget shit. Sounds super appealing.”

“You’re being too picky, Wyn.” 

Before Wynonna had a chance to reply, the door to the stairwell flew open and Principal Nedley stood in front of them, not looking surprised. 

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my favorite students. Mercedes, don’t try to put that flask back into your pocket. Just pass it to me and go to your damn class.” 

The redhead rolled her eyes before passing the man her favorite flask. Nedley caught them all the time. But he never gave them too hard of a time. He asked for their alcohol and gave them detentions. He knew how hard things were for both of them. He didn’t want to give them more shit than he knew they already got. 

“See you later, ‘Nonna,” Mercedes told her ‘friend’ before heading to class. 

Wynonna turned to the man she had spent what she considered an unnecessary amount of time with. Staring at him in the eyes, she dramatically chugged some of her whiskey. Nedley wasn’t amused. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. 

“Don’t be coy, Wynonna. It’s not an attractive trait of yours.” 

She harrumphed and passed him the bottle. “Why don’t you just kick me out? I’ve certainly deserved it. I’ve done basically everything sans killing someone. Oh, wait.” 

“So melodramatic. Come on. Follow me, alright?” He opened the door, waiting for the girl to get out of the stairwell. She groaned as he led her to his office. “Look, Wynonna. Sometimes I wonder if you want to be expelled. I know things have been hard on you, but you can’t give up on school. I won’t let you.” 

“ _ Why? _ ” She asked him, wanting to know the answer to the question that had been weighing on her. She spent years harassing the poor man and no matter what, he did what he could to keep her out of trouble. She didn’t understand his kindness. And more than anything, she hated feeling like she was indebted to the man without knowing why.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his balding head. “I promised your daddy I would look after you and your sister. I’m not breaking that promise. No matter how much you might want me to.” 

Wynonna couldn’t help but be speechless. She knew that her father had a lot of friends around town, but she never knew that Ward Earp had Randy Nedley under his spell, too.

“You don’t owe me anything, Nedley,” She whispered, her voice faltering slightly. 

“Did you not understand me, Wynonna? This is about your father. He looked out for me. He was a good man. So now I’m looking out for you and your sister. Just like this… this is me looking out for you.” 

“What is?” Wynonna asked before looking inside of Nedley’s office and seeing a younger redhead. Nedley’s protege. His narc in training. “What the hell is she doing here?” 

“So I’m guessing that you know each other?” Nedley asked, raising his eyebrows at their complete looks of horror. 

Know each other? No, they never even spoke a word to each other. But both of them believed that they knew all that they needed to know about one another. Wynonna knew that Nicole Haught was almost as uptight as her parents and had no bad bone in her body. That the redhead liked rules almost as much as she liked following them. That the Junior didn’t have any friends. 

Nicole knew that Wynonna was reckless and thoughtless. That the brunette only cared for herself. From what she had heard, the woman was itching to leave Purgatory the first second she got, even if that meant abandoning everything. She had also heard parts of the story about Ward Earp and the eldest Earp daughter. But Nicole wasn’t scared of her. 

“Unfortunately,” Nicole hissed before turning back to her role model. “Principal Nedley, why am I here exactly?” 

“Now, I don’t normally play matchmaker or try to influence who my students hang out with, but I think that you two could be good for each other. Wynonna, I heard you were looking for people to join your band? Nicole just so happens to play the piano.” 

Nicole’s face became as red as her hair before she stuttered, “Oh, b-but sir, I play classical music.” 

“Don’t lie, Nicole. We both know you play rock music, too. Remember, you tried to play me that V3 recording--”

“U2?” 

“Oh yeah, that’s the one!” Nedley corrected himself, grinning from ear to ear. 

Wynonna stared at the both of them with an incredulous look. This was absolutely ridiculous to her. She would have laughed if she didn’t think he was being serious. 

“You’re joking, right? You can’t force us to hang out with each other!” 

He chuckled (enjoying their pain immensely) and answered, “Actually, I can. You both will practice. On every Tuesday and Thursday after school. You are allowed to add more members, but you must both show up.” 

“What will you do if I don’t?” Wynonna asked snarkily. “There’s no punishment you could give me.” 

“I won’t punish you, Wynonna. Instead, I’ll make sure that Champ Hardy suddenly gets a schedule change has all of his classes with a Waverly Earp.” 

The brunette glared at him as her hands curled up into fists. She could take every threat against her. But no one threatened her sister. 

“You wouldn’t dare! You know how much I  _ loathe  _ Champ Hardy. You wouldn’t do that to my poor, sweet, defenseless little sister, would you?” 

Nicole muttered under her breath, “At least we’ve got something in common.” That received her an interesting look from Wynonna. It was… an appreciative look? Could that be?

“I don’t  _ want  _ to, Wynonna. But I don’t see any more options with you! You need to make some friends. Get to know some people. And you!” He said, turning to his second in command. “You need to make some friends your own age. Wynonna could be good for you too, Nicole.” 

Nicole snorted with disbelief. She couldn’t believe that she was being forced to hang out with a  _ criminal  _ for god's sake. She was almost sure that the brunette was going to tell them no. But then, Wynonna Earp surprised her. 

“Fine,” The older girl grunted and then turned to the redhead. “Fine. I’ll meet you this afternoon in the parking lot, ginger spice. I hope you don’t mind motorcycles.” And with one wink, she walked out of the door, and Nicole could hear the clap the woman’s boots made as she traveled back to the stairwell. 

There was another thing Nicole could add to the list of things she had learned about her. Wynonna Earp sure knew how to make an extravagant exit (and she seemed to care about her sister). 


	2. With or Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna and Nicole play music together for the first time. 
> 
> Introducing: Xavier Dolls and Waverly Earp. 
> 
> First WayHaught encounter...

Nicole had to admit that she was surprised that Wynonna was actually waiting for her in the school parking lot. She had expected that the delinquent would have run off to do whatever the hell she did in her free time (Nicole shuddered thinking about all the criminal possibilities). But there she was, a cigarette in her mouth, leaning on her motorcycle, staring at her phone.

“Earp,” The redhead called out, letting the brunette know that she was approaching.

Wynonna looked up and raised an eyebrow. She tossed her cigarette, crushed it with her foot, and commented slyly, “You came. I’m surprised, Haught. Never thought you’d show up to hang out with little ole me.”

“Not like it’s my choice,” Nicole retorted under her breath and looked around her, hoping that no one noticed that she was hanging out with Wynonna Earp.

“BITCH!” Mercedes yelled, flinging her hands up in the air, as she neared the two teenagers. “Are you replacing me? You know, not all redheads are the same.”

“That’s for sure,” The younger redhead whispered, rolling her eyes. She hated Tucker Gardner and couldn't fathom his sibling being much better.

Luckily enough for her, neither of the two girls heard her.

“Ooh, sorry, Mer. Dorky here is just so much cooler than you.” Wynonna even put her arm around the younger redhead's shoulder, causing Nicole to cringe. She wasn’t a big fan of being touched by someone she didn’t know. Especially someone that smelled of booze, tobacco, and something that resembled Axe body spray.

Mercedes snorted, pretending to be offended. She turned to the other redhead and said, “Well, good luck. She’s a mess, little red. An emotional wreck. Don’t let her fool you.”

Nicole rolled her shoulder out of the brunette’s strong grip and said, “We’re being forced to hang out. This certainly isn’t by choice.”

“Aww, I’m so sad that you don’t like me!” Wynonna pretended to pout as she crossed her arms. “How am I going to continue life? Oh, wait. I just remembered I don’t give a shit. But I’m sorry, Mercedes. We have to head out. Text me later?”

Mercedes grinned at her and replied, “You’re so into me, Earp.”

“Fuck you, Gardner.”

“I’m trying, Earp.”

The older redhead chuckled and walked away, toward her own car. Wynonna watched her go and Nicole couldn’t help but wonder if there was something more there. But she quickly shook away the thought. She didn’t want to think more about Wynonna Earp than she had to.

“So, you cool with motorcycles? You can wear the helmet. I don’t need it.”

Nicole groaned. She hated people who didn’t care about their own safety. “Fine. But I’m going to buy myself a helmet if we keep having to do this.”

She shrugged, not seeming to give two shits.

Wynonna got onto her motorcycle and Nicole followed her anxiously. She hoped that this wouldn't be the last day of her life. 

And, to make matters worse, the redhead didn’t know where to put her hands. She was all new to this. And she was especially new with Wynonna Earp.

The brunette smirked and said, “You can touch me, Haught. I won’t bite. Unless you’re into that kind of thing. I don’t judge.” She held in her laughter when Nicole gently put her hands around her waist. “You’re going to want to hold on tight, sweetheart. This is going to be one hell of a ride.”

* * *

Wynonna wasn’t exaggerating. The ride was insane, but Nicole loved it (though, she’d never tell the brunette). It was exhilarating. An adrenaline rush she never thought she’d ever get tired of. She didn’t even mind when the older teen went over the speed limit. She felt _good_. Free. Something she hadn’t felt in a long time.

She was disappointed when the ride ended so quickly. Only ten minutes later, they seemed to have reached their destination. Nicole raised her eyebrows as Wynonna parked the bike in a driveway to a small house in the suburbs. Sure, the redhead hadn’t lived in Purgatory for too long, but she knew this wasn’t where Wynonna Earp lived. Immediately, Nicole thought the worst.

“Earp, what are we doing here?” Nicole hissed when the brunette got off the motorcycle.

Wynonna grinned at her and said, “Relax, Haughtstuff. This is where we are going to practice. Just give me a few minutes, alright?”

Nicole opened her mouth to argue, but the brunette already started to walk away. The junior didn’t know what to expect. Part of her thought that Wynonna was going to break into the house. She definitely didn’t expect her to knock on the door and talk politely to the person who lived in the house. 

She couldn’t hear what Wynonna was telling the woman at the door or see the stranger's reaction, but whatever she said must have convinced the resident to let us use her garage. Wynonna gave me a thumbs up before walking up to the garage and pulled the door upwards, revealing a drum set, keyboard, and mic.

“How did you know this stuff was here?” Nicole asked as she abandoned the motorcycle and approached the brunette in awe of the perfect set up. “And why are we allowed to be here?”

Wynonna raised an eyebrow and answered, “Wouldn’t you like to know, nosy?”

“I would, actually. You aren’t blackmailing this lady, are you? Have you broken into this house before? Please tell me you didn’t threaten that lady?”

The brunette stared at the redhead and shook her head. “Who the hell do you think I am, Haught? Some kind of hooligan? If I was breaking the law, do you think I would take _you_ , mini-deputy do-gooder, with me? Be smart, Haughtness.”

Nicole realized that the older teenager had a point, but she was still incredibly doubtful and hesitant. “Earp, I’m not going to let this go. Please just tell me.”

Wynonna enjoyed messing with the poor girl, but she also understood that the younger teen wasn’t exaggerating. She knew that the redhead wouldn’t drop it.

“Fine, Haught. You caught me. I lived here, okay? When I was thirteen and fourteen. This was one of my good old foster homes.”

Nicole bit her lip and felt a twinge of pity for the older girl. Maybe, she realized, Wynonna Earp was more complicated than she thought.

“Alright,” Wynonna said, clasping her hands together, trying to change the subject quickly as she avoided Nicole’s eyes. “What songs do you know, Haught? You said you can play U2 songs? Like what song?”

Nicole traveled to the keyboard, turned it on, sat down, and started playing a song. It took Wynonna only a few seconds to recognize it. She couldn’t help but feel the corners of her mouth tug upwards. It was a good song.

As if summoned by the seductive music, the brunette motioned over to Nicole and started to mumble the lyrics of the song, gradually becoming more confident as the song progressed.

“ _See the stone set in your eyes_

_See the thorn twist in your side_

_I’ll wait for you_

_Sleight of hand and twist of fate_

_On a bed of nails she makes me wait_

_And I wait without you_

_With or without you”_

Nicole stopped playing and turned to Wynonna with the most bizarre look. The older girl had such a pure, untainted, and fiercely delicate voice. And the younger girl couldn't help but be completely entranced by her sound and passion behind it.

It almost made the brunette flush. The senior was her most vulnerable when she sang, and now the redhead knew that secret. It made her very uncomfortable.

“What?” Wynonna asked, walking away from the younger girl suddenly, trying to become unattached again. “Surprised I have talent?”

“I’m more surprised that you know the lyrics,” Nicole whispered, not knowing how to deal with the sudden mood shift after such an intense moment. “Not many people at our school listen to U2.”

Wynonna snorted and replied, “Not many people at our school have good taste, Haught. Okay, so you know U2 songs. What else?”

The redhead shrugged and answered, “A lot of rock and indie. Some alt. Ever heard of The 1975?”

A smirk formed from the brunette’s lips before she said, “I’ve made out with Matty after spending three months following the band. I think you could say I know them pretty damn well.”

* * *

Neither of them would ever admit it to each other, but they were both impressed with each other’s talents. Of course, their music tastes weren’t the same (Nicole couldn’t believe that Wynonna hadn’t know Hozier and Wynonna complained that Nicole didn’t listen to The Black Keys). Besides the occasional bickering, everything went more smoothly than either of them would have expected. In fact, they might have actually enjoyed themselves.

Of course, the sound wasn’t full. There was a missing sound. They needed a guitarist and drummer at the very least. But it was a start.

As they jokingly sang “All Star,” the garage door opened and Wynonna immediately stopped singing. It was almost like seeing a ghost.

There, in front of her very own eyes, stood Xavier Dolls, in the flesh. She hadn’t seen him in years. It wasn’t like they were close. He was the mysterious neighbor that she wanted to figure out, but couldn't (damn that perplexing enigma). And that made him that much more intriguing.

He wasn’t like normal boys. He was stoic and unemotional. He didn’t laugh or smile or have friends to joke around with. Wynonna guessed it was because he was homeschooled and his parents were assholes. Not that he was an asshole. He just seemed like a guy with a stick up his ass.

Anyway, they sort of had a past. But, they also didn’t. There were nights she’d look out the window, and he was there. Sitting at his desk listening to music or writing furiously. Sometimes he’d look up and see her. Sometimes, their eyes caught each other’s and they just locked, neither of them able to look away. Like now, at this moment.

“Are you back?” He asked her, his voice levels deeper than they had been when she knew him five years ago.

She shook his head, still too surprised to pretend like she wasn’t. “I’m just here to use the garage. Haught and I here are starting a band.”

His eyes flashed to the redhead, who awkwardly stared at them with curiosity. She had never seen the brunette caught off guard. It was almost frightening. She stood up and walked over to him. She held out her hand and introduced herself.

“Haught as in H-a-u-g-h-t. But call me Nicole, if you want.”

He shook her hand, but he wasn’t very interested in her. “Dolls.” He quickly turned his attention back to Wynonna and said, “You shouldn’t have come back here.”

“That’s not really your choice, now, is it?” The brunette hissed back, annoyed with him. “I’m an adult now, Dolls.”

His jaw clenched as he walked up to the girl. He lowered his voice so that Nicole couldn’t hear and said, “It’s not safe.”

Wynonna stared at him, trying to understand why he gave a fuck. “You don’t have to protect me, man.”

“I don’t know if I _can’t_.”

She didn’t know how to reply to that. She knew there was a lot in those words that she needed to think through (or drink through) but she didn’t want to think about it at the moment. She couldn’t handle it. Especially with Haught standing right there.

Wynonna turned to Nicole (hoping that the redhead didn’t hear any of the interaction she just had with Dolls) and said, “We need more people in this band. I think I know someone who plays guitar. I’ll take you to meet him tomorrow.”

Nicole merely nodded, not knowing exactly what to say to the brunette.

“Want me to take you home?” Wynonna asked her, itching to get out of the garage as fast as she could.

“If my parents see me on a motorcycle, they’ll kill me,” Nicole muttered with frustration. “I can just walk home. It’s not too far away from here.”

While Wynonna would like to be able to just let her walk home (it was the easiest thing to do), she knew that it wasn’t smart for a girl to walk home alone. She knew what happened to girls when that happened. And as much as she didn’t like Nicole Haught, she wasn’t a heartless bitch (like some might think).

“I’m going to take you back to my place and then I can drive you home in my Uncle’s truck.”

Nicole raised her eyebrows but didn’t argue.

With the redhead following her, Wynonna walked out of the garage, but Xavier stepped in front of her.

“Earp, I don’t think you’re listening to me. Ian's back.”

Wynonna froze and felt her body shudder at the name. But she told herself that she was stronger than that. “Dolls, move.”

He shook his head but moved aside. There was no blocking Wynonna Earp, and he knew it.

Off on the motorcycle, the two girls went.

* * *

The Homestead was exactly the kind of place that Nicole imagined Wynonna living at. It was slightly rundown and broken, but also beautiful and alive. Much like the brunette herself.

The younger girl didn’t understand anything that Dolls had said to Wynonna, but she inferred that they had some sort of difficult or complicated past. Even if she didn’t like Wynonna Earp, at least Nicole enjoyed learning about the mysterious girl.

“Wynonna!” A man called out as he came out of the barn and saw the two teenagers get off the motorcycle. “Invite Mercedes to dinner!”

The brunette rolled her eyes and yelled back, “She’s not Mercedes!”

That made the man interested. He approached the two of them to get a better look of the girl that ridden home with his niece.

“I’m Nicole Haught,” The redhead introduced as her cheeks reddened. She wasn’t used to talking to families of other teens her age since she didn't have many friends (not that Wynonna Earp was her friend, of course).

“Nice to meet you, Nicole. I’m Curtis McCready. Wynonna doesn’t usually bring her friends home. Do you want to have a bite to eat? Wynonna’s aunt made some vegan shit. It’s probably not very good, but it’s food.”

Nicole even considered it for a second, but she then thought of her parents and how angry they would be if she didn’t come home for dinner without a day’s warning.

“Thank you for the offer, Mr. McCready, but I’ve got to get back home. But, is there a way that I could use your restroom?”

Curtis bellowed a burst of dark laughter. “Of course, darling. ‘Nonna, don’t just stand there. Show your friend where the bathroom is.”

Wynonna rolled her eyes again and led Nicole into the house. The smell of the food overwhelmed both of them, but the brunette showed her to the downstairs bathroom. She waited for the redhead in the kitchen as she watched her aunt curse at the food that she was trying to make.

Meanwhile, after the redhead was finished, Nicole opened the door and slammed it into somebody.

“Shit!” The redhead gasped, pulling the door back immediately to see what damage she caused. “Oh god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t…” She trailed off once she had seen who exactly she had hit.

Waverly Earp rubbed her arm, but she wasn’t too hurt. “Don’t worry about it! You can’t even imagine how many times this has happened.”

Nicole gulped and stared at the younger brunette in front of her. She must have been Wynonna’s younger sister and yet-- she seemed so different. There was also a familiarity with her. Like she knew her (even though she was sure she had never seen the pretty girl before).

“I’m still so sorry! I’m so careless sometimes," Haught rambled, immediately flustered by her. 

“Don’t worry about it, really!” Waverly told her again as she finally got a good look at the person who hit her. She didn’t know the girl. She had seen her around school, but other than that, she knew nothing about her. But something about the girl and her awkwardness made her smile. “I’m Waverly! Are you a friend of ‘Nonna’s?”

“Uh,” Nicole started, not knowing what to say. That was a loaded question. “Something like that. Your sister’s going to bring me back home in a second. I’m Nicole, by the way. Nicole Haught.”

Waverly grinned and replayed the redhead's name in her head. Realizing she stayed silent thinking about her name, she word vomited, “Nice to meet you, Nicole!”

Before Nicole had a chance to say something to the gorgeous girl she had just met, Wynonna called out from the other room, “Yo, Haught-o-rama! Where you at?”

The redhead inwardly groaned. She wanted to spend more time ( ~~eternity?~~ ) with the beautiful girl she had just hit. There was just something magnetic about her. And all Nicole wanted to do was get to know her ( ~~and kiss her~~ ).

In an aggressive tone, she yelled back, “Be there in a sec!” She lowered her voice and smiled at the younger girl in front of her. “I’m sure I’ll see you later, Waverly. It was nice to meet you. Maybe I’ll see you around school? I promise I won't attack you again.”

Waverly nodded cheerfully. “That would be amazing! And then you can tell me how my sister became friends with a good person like you.”

Nicole snorted and murmured, “Tell me about it.”

Bitterly, the redhead turned away and traveled to where Wynonna was waiting for her. She would have done anything to have spent just a few more minutes with the girl (who reminded her of an angel) she had just met. Just thinking about her smile, man, it did things to her.

“Whatcha grinning for, Haught? Thinking about me, eh?”

No, Nicole was thinking about a different Earp. An  _Earp_  for christ's sakes. Wynonna Earp's little sister. The color drained from her cheeks and as calmly as she could, she replied, “You wish, Earp.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Let me know what you guys think! Or come talk to me on tumblr @ haught-n-cold-gay


	3. Walk Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna and Nicole ask Doc to be in the band.

Nicole walked to class thinking about Waverly Earp and her smile (after spending the entire night doing the same thing). Part of her wanted to shake away those thoughts her parents would have deemed ‘dirty.’ That part of her wanted to shred those damn feelings her parents would call sinful. Except, there was a larger part of her that remembered her parents were ignorant assholes who didn’t understand anything. And that larger part of her knew her attraction to girls wasn’t a phase or form of rebellion. It was real.

She almost expected school to be different after her adventurous day. After spending only a few hours with Wynonna Earp, she felt like her life had shifted. Like things suddenly mattered and others didn’t. She almost believed that somehow people would treat her differently... as if they suddenly knew that she hung out with the teenage rebel. But of course, once she stepped foot on school grounds and no one even looked in her direction, she remembered that no one would have paid enough attention to know that she spent time with the jaded brunette.

Nicole hated the loneliness. The never-ending silence that engulfed her days. That was why she was the teacher’s pet. At least then, she could have a conversation. Even if it was with a teacher she couldn’t relate to even if she tried.

She felt a swell of pride once she passed Jeremy Chetri, a boy who's possibly as much of an outsider as her, and he gave her a small smile. They had spoken a few times in Chemistry. They weren’t friends, but there was a possibility there. And that gave her a small bit of hope.

A little part of her even wished to have seen Wynonna. She didn’t know if the brunette would even acknowledge her, but at least it was another possibility. She couldn’t believe that the person closest to becoming her friend was a criminal.

Finally, she sat down in her English class. As people trickled into the room, she scoured Spotify for something to listen to. After a lot of inner debate, she settled with PVRIS. Jamming out, she hoped that the time would pass quickly. 

* * *

Nicole usually spent her lunch period helping her teachers grade, watching Netflix, or reading a book. Today was no different. With a sandwich in one hand and a book in the other, she tried her hardest not to search the cafeteria for the girl with the gorgeous smile. She was finally getting close to the climax of the story when she heard her name being called out.

She looked up and found the glowing smile that had invaded her thoughts all day long. Waverly was standing in front of her. With an arm around her shoulder, holding the brunette possessively, Champ Hardy was staring at Waverly’s boobs and Nicole could see the drool form from the corner of his lips that the redhead wanted to punch so desperately.

Trying to pull herself back together, she said, “Waverly! Hey! How are you?”

“I’m doing great!” She answered cheerfully. “I was wondering if you wanted to come and eat with me and my friends. It’s just me, obviously, Champ, Chrissy, and Stephanie. Oh, and Ruby, Jackson, and Kaley.”

Nicole gaped at her slightly, surprised that the other girl was so gracious. Part of her wanted to accept Waverly’s offer, just to hang out with her, but the redhead knew that the younger girl’s group of friends would never accept her.

“Thank you,” Haught told her sincerely. “I really appreciate the offer, Waverly, but I actually have to go talk to a teacher about a grade of mine. But I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

Waverly was disappointed but hid it well. “Yeah, I’m sure I will! You’re hanging out with Wynonna today, right?” The redhead nodded simply and the younger girl said, “You should have dinner with us afterward.”

“I’m not sure your sister would like that,” The older girl muttered grimly, thinking about how Wynonna would react to having to hang out with Nicole more than she had to.

The brunette sighed and said, “I know my sister’s hard to deal with, but I think she likes you. She didn’t complain about you last night. That means a lot. She doesn’t have many friends. I think that she appreciates you more than you think.”

Nicole didn’t know how to reply to that. She disagreed, but she didn’t feel like she had the right to disagree out loud. She and Wynonna only knew each other for a day.

“Well, I’ll see you later, Nicole,” Waverly told her, trying to get used to the girl’s name in her mouth. “But you should totally stay for dinner. Don’t let my sister intimidate you.”

The other girl nodded and blushed, wondering if that meant that Waverly wanted her to come for dinner. Or, Nicole thought, the brunette in front of her might just be the nicest girl in the whole world.

Waverly smiled but then her face fell once Champ started pulling her away. As the two of them walked toward the other side of the cafeteria, Nicole watched her go with slight sorrow. Her pain in her chest confused her. She barely knew the girl, she didn’t understand how she was already so enamored. 

* * *

Once again, Wynonna was standing next to her motorcycle, waiting for Nicole to meet her. Except this time, Mercedes was leaning against the smaller woman, her arms crossed impatiently.

The brunette grinned once the younger redhead approached her. “Gotta admit it, Haught. Sorta surprised to see your ass again.”

“Yeah, most people run away from her after spending any amount of time with her,” Mercedes added, resulting in her friend jabbing her with her elbow. “Ow, fucking hell. Can I remind you that you’re strong?”

“Can I remind _you_ that you’re just weak? Besides, Little Miss Law Abider here enjoyed our jam out session yesterday.”

Nicole rolled her eyes but didn’t disagree with her outright. She did have a few good moments yesterday. But she couldn’t help but notice Mercedes' reaction. She almost looked upset (jealous?) that they hadn’t ripped each other apart.

“I’m sure little red liked hanging out with someone her own age for once,” Mercedes mumbled furiously, staring at the ground aggressively.

“ _Little red_ is right here, Mercedes, and she doesn’t appreciate your cowardly comments,” The younger redhead fired back, annoyed that the other teenager was spewing insults that she didn’t understand. “You don't have to try to belittle me. I promise you that I’m not trying to replace you, Mercedes. I’m here because I have to be.”

Wynonna grinned at the entire interaction and said, “Ladies, ladies, there’s enough of me for the both of you. No need to fight _over_ me. There’s plenty to go around.”

“Gross, Earp,” Nicole muttered, but kept her attention on Mercedes, waiting to see what the older girl would do. Once Mercedes looked like she had calmed down (and even smiled at what Wynonna had said), the younger girl asked, “We good?” She didn’t like fighting. Even if she was Tucker Gardner’s sister, Nicole knew that there had to be something redeeming about her since Wynonna seemed to enjoy hanging out with her.

Mercedes nodded and told her, “Yeah. Sorry 'bout that. I’m not used to sharing.”

Both Wynonna and Nicole laughed at that statement. Any tension that was there suddenly vanished and the three of them seemed to actually enjoy each other’s company.

“I know Mercedes isn’t in the band, Haught, but she still wanted to tag along with us today. I think she’s bored and looking for some entertainment.”

Mercedes gasped playfully and pretended to be offended. “How could you even think that? I’m here as moral support, bitch. You’re going to need all the help you can get for this mission.”

“You were the one that told me that I should do it!” Wynonna argued, hitting her friend once again.

Nicole immediately noted that the two girls were incredibly touchy. Not that she minded it. It honestly surprised her.

“That I did. Because I want to see what happens. I’m a slut for drama.”

“You mean just a slut?”

“Only for you, Earp,” Mercedes winked at her friend. She then turned back to Nicole and said, “Ready to go, little red? You guys are going to be riding with me. Since we all aren’t going to be able to fit on Wynonna’s motorcycle.”

Nicole nodded and the three of them got into the fancy vehicle. Some car that her dad would have sold to a family much richer than them.

“Where are we going?” The youngest girl asked the two older teenagers.

“Shorty’s,” Wynonna answered with a shrug.

Nicole furrowed her eyebrows, trying to remember where she had heard that name. “Woah, wait, isn’t that a bar? Please tell me that I’m not going to watch you two get wasted.”

The brunette snorted and laughed before responding, “As enjoyable as that sounds, Haught dog, we’re not going to the bar to drink. Probably. We’re going to see about the bartender.”

“Oh,” Nicole muttered, relieved. “What’s he like?”

Wynonna paused before replying, “There isn’t anyone quite like him. You’ll just have to see for yourself.”

* * *

Shorty’s was exactly the kind of place that Nicole would have expected to see in a western film. Then again, that was Purgatory for you. She didn’t know if she was impressed or horrified when almost everyone recognized Wynonna once they entered the bar. It was 3:00. The afternoon crowd knew her. That made Nicole slightly nervous.

As Wynonna approached the bar, the older redhead pulled the younger one back. Nicole sent Mercedes a look that read _‘what the hell?’_

“This isn’t going to be easy for her,” Mercedes whispered in the younger girl’s ear. “We can listen, but let’s give her some room, alright?” At Nicole’s hesitant head nod, they both walked up to the bar.

“What can I do for you-- _Wynonna_?” A man asked, dropping his towel on the floor. He didn’t pick it up. He just stared at Wynonna in awe. After the initial shock wore off, he leaned over to pick the towel up and continued to dry a glass. Avoiding looking at her (with his hat basically facing the girls), he grumbled, “What are you doing here, Wynonna?”

The brunette gulped, not used to seeing him so angry with her. Then again, she never stayed long enough to see him this furious.

“Doc…” she murmured, not knowing what to say. She wasn’t one to apologize or pretend to be sorry. “Look, I did what I did. I can’t pretend like I didn’t do it. I probably should have done it differently, but you knew that wasn’t who I was. I am who I am.”

“And you don’t change for nobody,” He added, grimacing as he slammed the shot glass on the table. “You’re right, Wynonna. I know you. I stayed around long enough to _know_ you. I didn’t run away. I didn’t leave you.”

Wynonna felt her whole body tense up. She didn’t think it would be this hard. She didn’t know that he would call her out like this.

“You don’t _know_ me, Doc. We hung out for a couple of months. You slipped me drinks and we danced when I was wasted. We just had fun. And I told you when we first met that I didn’t do relationships. That I didn’t have feelings for people. That’s not me. I can’t force something I can’t feel.”

He shook his head, knowing that she was right, but she still broke her heart. “Then what the hell are you doing here? Need me to hook you and your friends with alcohol? Oh wait-- Wynonna Earp doesn’t have friends, does she?”

Nicole didn’t like this guy. He was cold. And looked sort of like a baby-cowboy-player that thought feminism was going to somehow take away _his_ rights. But then again, trusting men wasn’t easy for her. And she didn’t appreciate any man yelling at any woman for any reason.

Before Wynonna had a chance to reply, Nicole stood up and said, “She _does_ have friends, asshole. Just not you. We’re here because we are looking for a good guitarist for our band. Though, I sort of doubt that you are good since you seem too idiotic to realize when your arguments are invalid.”

Doc stared at the younger girl that he had just met. He was astonished that this girl defended Wynonna and that the brunette let her. Wynonna and Mercedes were just as in awe of Nicole’s sudden urge to protect the girl she had literally just met a day ago.

Startled, his face softened and Nicole could finally see something in him that wasn’t total douche. He turned to look at Wynonna and told her, “I’m being a dick. You’re-- you had every right to say no to me. I shouldn’t have become so possessive. Are you still interested in me and my guitar? I am at your service, Wynonna Earp.”

The brunette looked at Nicole, trying to figure out if the younger woman was okay with him joining the band. The redhead shrugged, not knowing how she felt about the whole thing. Obviously, it was a very bad first impression. But if Wynonna was willing for an ex (?) to join the band, she knew he must have been good.

“I’ll text you the address where we will be practicing tomorrow,” Wynonna stated with a facade of certainty. “We’ll see how you do and let you know.”

He nodded, attempting to hide his disappointment. John Henry Holliday wasn’t used to girls saying no to him. And now, Wynonna Earp had done it multiple times. But the brunette was wrong about something. He _did_ know her. He knew her weakness.

Smirking, he asked, “Do you all want a drink in the meantime? My boss isn’t here.”

“No,” Mercedes interrupted, pulling at her friend’s arm, knowing exactly what he was doing. “We’re leaving. Right, Wynonna?”

The brunette turned to look at the two redheads but then turned to look back at Doc. She wasn’t choosing between her friends and a guy. She was choosing alcohol. Like most days.

Mercedes already knew the answer. She swiftly spun around and walked toward the exit. Wynonna frowned, knowing that she was letting her down. Unfortunately, that was a feeling she was used to. A feeling she was used to drowning with intoxicating substances.

As self-hatred chewed at her body, Wynonna muttered darkly, “Hit me with your best shot, Doc.”

Nicole glared at the older girl with fury. She had just gone out of her way to stick up for the brunette and now she was abandoning her friends for what? Getting drunk with a guy who obviously was into her?

“Earp--”

“Go home, Haught,” Wynonna interrupted, downing a shot afterward. “Make sure Mercedes doesn’t kill anyone and go home.”

The redhead shook with anger and was about to yell back at her until she noticed that Mercedes was starting to kick at a fire hydrant outside. Cursing herself for getting in this situation, she quickly left the bar to stop the older girl from doing something she would regret.

“Mercedes!” Nicole shouted, trying to get her to stop kicking the damn thing. “Stop! Kicking the shit out of this fire hydrant! It won’t bring her back!”

“What the hell do you know?” Mercedes asked, turning to the younger girl with angry tears in her eyes. “You just started talking to her! You haven’t been with her for these years! You don’t know her like I do!”

Nicole bit her lip, hating this level of confrontation. Even though she knew that the other girl was taking her anger out on her, it didn’t make it feel any better.

“You’re right,” The younger girl whispered, trying to do anything to get Mercedes to stop looking at her without murderous eyes. “I don’t know her. But it’s obvious how much you care for her. What she did wasn’t fair.”

“I’m not mad that she chose something over me. I’m fucking used to that, little red. I’m mad that she still chooses alcohol. After all this time, she still thinks that the drink is her strongest comfort. Over me and the years of friendship I have offered.”

That received a speechless gape from Nicole, causing Mercedes to sigh and open the door to her car.

“Are you coming, little red?” The older girl asked aggressively from inside the car.

Nicole was surprised that the other girl offered a ride home, but took it immediately. She got into the car and waited for something to happen.

“No one would blame you,” Mercedes muttered so softly, Nicole could barely hear it. “If you didn’t show up tomorrow. I wasn’t exaggerating when I told you that she’s a mess. You’ve only seen a sliver of how fucked up everything is. No one would blame you if you didn’t want to see more. Wynonna doesn’t have friends. You aren’t going to save her. You aren’t going to change her. It’s not going to get easier from here.”

The younger girl was surprised by the disclaimer and warning. She knew that Mercedes was giving her a way out. And part of her considered it. That same part of her that wanted to be a perfect little rule follower that her parents wouldn’t be disappointed in. That same part of her that wanted her to be something she wasn’t.

But for once in her life, she shut off that part of her brain that was controlling her for so long. She knew, deep down, it was that part of her that made her feel so lonely and filled her up with emptiness.

She knew that Wynonna Earp wasn’t her first choice as a friend. But if she was with her, she wouldn’t be alone. And anything was better than the loneliness.

“I like a challenge,” Nicole told Mercedes, giving her a small smile, hoping that things would be better between them.

The older girl smirked (secretly glad that she had another person on Wynonna’s side) and played her music. She turned it up to a volume that was on the borderline of hurting their ears. Just how she liked it. And then she drove, embracing the tranquility of music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! Let me know what you think!


	4. The Devil You Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly thinks about Nicole. 
> 
> Nicole makes a new friend.
> 
> Doc has to prove himself to be apart of the band.

Waverly Earp loved her sister. Her sister wasn’t perfect in any sort of way, but Wynonna was her sister: unapologetically protective and fiercely loyal. But despite the older girl being a good sister, Waverly still had to be the adult between the two of them (even though she was two years younger).  _ She  _ was the one who  held the older girl’s hair when Wynonna would throw up all night after binge drinking.  _ She  _ watched her like a hawk when she was high or wasted.  _ She  _ held them together during anniversaries and reminders of everything they lost. Waverly was her sister’s savior. 

The younger girl did all that she could to change the Earp’s image, for everyone’s sakes. She studied, found friends, she joined clubs, she went to church, she sang in the choir, she became a cheerleader, and she became the kindest and most dependable person in all of Purgatory High. But as popular as she became, as loved as she was, she couldn’t help but feel alone. Like no one truly understood her (but then again, she didn’t understand truly herself). She spent so long creating this perfect image, she never learned who she really was in the inside. 

Wynonna balanced her out in some ways. When she was with her sister, she didn’t have to pretend to be anyone that she wasn’t. But still… there was something missing. 

And Waverly thought about the redhead that lingered in her thoughts ( ~~and dreams~~ ). Nicole was a mystery. She had recognized the older girl from school, but she never gave her a second look. Until, the girl basically slammed her with the door. Now, she couldn’t get the girl out of her head. She didn’t understand why she felt the urge to get to know her. She never felt the need to get to know Mercedes or Doc or any of Wynonna’s other friends. 

So, when she saw the redhead all alone eating lunch, she wanted to hang out with her. But of course, Champ wouldn’t leave her side (the dick who still thought that they were a couple, no matter how many times she explained that they were no longer dating) and she knew her friends would complain and bitch if she left them. The only thing she could offer Nicole was a place at her table. She didn’t blame the girl for saying no. Cheerleaders could be intimidating. 

She hoped that Nicole would come home for dinner, but when she got a text from Mercedes saying that Wynonna was drinking again, that hope died. She loved her sister, but she wondered if Nicole deserved a better friend. 

And yet, Waverly stayed up at night to wait for her sister to come home. The last thing she wanted was for something bad to happen to her sister without her knowing. At least if she stayed up, she could make sure her sister came home. 

“Waves… your abandonment issues are showing,” Wynonna slurred as she opened the front door and found her younger sister sitting in the living room and drinking coffee in the middle of the night. 

Waverly glared at her sister and watched with anger as the older girl flopped on the couch. “Don’t try to put all this on me, mister. It’s 2:00 AM. Have you been drinking this whole night? Please tell me you were safe.” 

Wynonna hated seeing her sister look so disappointed. She hated letting her sister down. The younger girl deserved so much and Wynonna felt that she could never be that person. And unfortunately, that sickening feeling in her gut, it pushed her to drink more. The self-hatred drinking cycle was one she never thought she’d get out of. No matter how hard other people would try to help. 

“Jesus, who are you? My m-mother? Yes, I was drinking. And yes, I was safe.” 

Wynonna wasn’t a happy or funny drunk. She was an angry, depressed, ‘wanting to fuck so that she could feel something’ kind of drunk. And Waverly hated it. It reminded her of her father. 

“Just go to bed,” Waverly muttered as she got up from the couch. “I don’t even know why I bother making sure you’re okay. You obviously don’t care about yourself or me.” 

“Waves…” Wynonna breathed out, watching her sister dramatically walk out of the room. She slapped her forehead, knowing that she messed up again. And god, all she wanted was to drink more.  

* * *

 

Waverly pretended like everything was okay the next morning. She knew there was no point in being mad at her sister. That it wouldn’t convince the older girl that she was being idiotic and careless. 

“Why won’t you let me watch the rehearsal?” She asked Wynonna stubbornly as they both of them shoveled cereal into their mouths. 

“Because Haught and I have only played together once and this will be our first rehearsal with Doc. We aren’t even going to sound good. You won’t be missing anything.” 

The younger girl inwardly groaned. It wasn't like she couldn’t explain to Wynonna that she really wanted to go just to see Nicole Haught. There was no way she could tell her sister that without sounding strange. She knew Wynonna would want an explanation to why she wanted to hang out with the redhead, and she didn’t have one ( ~~other than wanting to learn everything about her~~ ). 

“Wynonna, why don’t you invite your friends over for dinner tonight?” Curtis asked his eldest niece with a grin across his face. He was glad that Wynonna seemed to be making friends. “And why don’t you ask Mercedes, too? I haven’t seen her in a while.” 

The older girl sighed and shook her head. “They aren’t my friends. They are my reluctant bandmates at best. And I’m sure they don’t want to spend their time hanging out with my family. No offense, Curtis.” 

“Oh, offense taken!” He grumbled. “Are you saying that you’re embarrassed of me, Wynonna Earp? Come on! I want to meet these people you are hanging out with.” 

She glared at him and retorted, “You never wanted to hang out with Ice and Dexter.” 

“They were your criminal friends, Wyn,” He reminded her with a tight smile. “I wanted you to spend less time with them. Not more. Besides, Randy says that Nicole is a very nice and smart girl!” 

Wynonna facepalmed and replied, “Shit, I forgot that you hang out with the principal. Which totally isn’t weird at all, by the way.” 

“We were friends long before you were born, missy,” He told her with a shrug. “And we ain’t going to just stop because of you.” 

“Invite your friends over, Wynonna,” Gus commanded as she walked into the kitchen. “To get him to stop asking. It’s annoying us all, Curtis.” 

“Are you all angry with me for caring about Wynonna’s personal life? Isn’t that what a good uncle should do? Right, Waverly? Isn’t that something you would know?” 

Waverly chuckled and muttered, “I’m not an uncle.” 

“No, but you are the best person out of all of us. So I just figured you would know.” 

“Thanks, Curtis.” 

“No problem, kiddo.” 

* * *

“Don’t have a cinnamon roll,” Nicole’s mother scolded as she passed by her daughter in the kitchen. “You aren’t going to get the body you want if you have that.” 

The girl felt anger pass through her like a bullet. She bit back a snarky comment and scowled at her tasty pastry. 

“I don’t want a different body,” She murmured under her breath, quiet enough so that her mother wouldn’t hear. “I want a different mom.” 

“Nicky!” Her father called out from the other room, causing her to jerk at the sudden exclamation. “Let’s go! I’m not waiting any longer.” 

Nicole cringed at his nickname for her and his harsh tone. But still, she got up and rushed to get her things. Heading out the door, she got into her father’s car. 

A few minutes into the awkward and silent drive, he stated, “You’ve been driven home by two different people in the past two days. Is something going on?” 

Nicole wasn't even surprised by the comment. She knew he thought that her hanging out with people meant trouble rather than her having friends. 

“No, dad. I made friends. Is that allowed?” 

“Don’t be a bitch, Nicky. I only asked a question. You don’t normally make friends this quickly. I’m just surprised, is all. No need to act all hysterical. You on your period or something?” 

She wanted to fight back. As her hands curled into fists, she wanted, more than anything, to beat the smug smile off her father’s face. He was always a charismatic man. A man who loved perfection and beauty. Everything Nicole wasn’t. But she didn’t have the courage to stand up to him. Not yet. 

Once he pulled into the carpool loop, she opened the door, got out, and slammed it. With bubbling anger, she thought that this was hell. 

“Nicole!” A voice called out from the opposite side of the hall when she entered the school. She turned around to find Jeremy Chetri running toward her. “We have a chem test today! Can you believe it? Ms. Callahan said that we wouldn’t have it today.” 

She wanted to be angry at her teacher, but she couldn’t help but feel excited that he was choosing to talk to her of all people. 

“That sucks!” Nicole yelled, trying to match his fury. 

He nodded vigorously and then asked, “Do you wanna study during lunch? I need some help and you are the smartest person in our class.” 

“Of course,” She told him immediately. “Where do you want to meet?”

“Top of the atrium?” At her nod, he grinned and said, “I’ll see you there! I have to go to class, but I’ll see ya later!” 

Nicole waved and watched as he ran to class. He resembled a stumbling baby deer. She smiled and for once thought that things were finally starting to look up.

* * *

Jeremy knew what it was like to be the new kid at a school that wasn’t very welcoming. He hadn’t made any friends for a whole year at Purgatory High. He was too nerdy for the preps, too ‘out there’ for the band kids, too wild for the nerds, and too weird even for the outsiders. It was only Nicole who seemed to genuinely not hate him. And Robin ( ~~the boy with a contagious smile that he couldn't get out of his head~~ ). 

“Dude, you got this,” Nicole told him after watching him complete the twentieth problem perfectly. “You know this stuff better than me. Why’d you ask me to help if you knew everything?” 

He bit his lip and asked her, “Would you make fun of me if I told you that I asked you for help just to get you to talk to me?” 

Immediately she shook her head, hating that he thought she would ever do such a thing. “No, of course, I wouldn’t! But next time, just tell me that you want to hang out.” 

“Next time?” He asked, his eyes wide with astonishment. 

“For sure,” She replied with an inviting smile. “You’re the coolest guy at this school, Chetri.” 

“That’s because everyone else here are dicks.” 

Nicole snorted and nodded. “Maybe so. But you’re also cool. I heard you’re like this techno genius?” 

He blushed and shook his head. “I just know a lot about music and I have created algorithms to create perfect beats and rhythms and such. And I dabble in composing.” 

She gaped at him, stunned that he was so humble at something that was obviously brag-worthy. Before she had the chance to ask him whether or not he wanted to be apart of a band, the bell rang. 

“Well, see ya later!” Jeremy shouted before running off. 

She disappointedly watched him go, the words at the tip of her tongue. 

* * *

Starting to feel like a ritual, Nicole found Wynonna and Mercedes standing at the motorcycle. She almost even saw a smile tug at the edges of Mercedes’ lips. 

“Haught! So glad you made it!” Wynonna cheered, flinging her hands up in the air wildly with a grin spread across her face. “Ready to bust a move?” 

Nicole rolled her eyes and asked, “Why can’t you say ‘ready to go?’ like a normal person?” 

“Don’t be prejudice against weird people, Haught fry!” She retorted back. “Mercedes is angry ‘cause I told her not to come to our rehearsal today.” 

“I’m worried she’s going to do something stupid as hell,” Mercedes argued and shoved her phone into Nicole’s hands. “Please put your number in my phone and I’ll text you so that you can call me if and when something goes wrong.” 

Nicole raised an eyebrow but put her number in any way. 

“Don’t be so melodramatic, babe. We won’t get into too much trouble.” Wynonna then winked at Nicole. “Oh, and Mer, Curtis is begging for you to come for dinner tonight. Well— you and future officer Haught here.” 

Mercedes grinned and replied, “Good to know your uncle still likes me. Yeah, I’ll come around. It’s not like my parents will be home anyway. Is Waves still doing that vegan thing?” 

Wynonna grunted a yes and said, “Unfortunately. You know, she and her veganism is the one thing my aunt and uncle have ever been disappointed in her with.” 

The youngest girl raised her eyebrows with surprise and asked, “Your family is angry that your sister is a vegan? My parents would be so incredibly proud if I did it. My mom might even give me a hug. She’s been begging me to go on a diet since I was nine.” 

Wynonna and Mercedes shared a look of pity for the girl. They had messed up families and now think that maybe, they aren't so alone with that. 

“Fuck em,” The brunette told Nicole with angry enthusiasm. “I want to beat those assholes for you. You don’t need a diet, that’s fucking stupid. We’re kids for christ sakes. Waves is doing it for ‘the animals and nature’ and whatever shit that means. She’s just a good person.” 

Nicole tried to hide a smile at the thought of Waverly Earp and her unfathomable kindness. And, she couldn’t help but feel pride at Wynonna’s sudden protectiveness. 

“I wanna slap that grin off of your face, Haught. You shouldn’t ever be smiling at something I say. It’s my job to make you as annoyed and frustrated as possible. Speaking of, let’s go, loser.” Wynonna passed the younger redhead a helmet and got into her motorcycle. 

Nicole gave Mercedes a short, reassuring smile before jumping on. She wanted the older girl to know she was going to all that she could to keep the brunette out of trouble. And that she’d seriously call her, I’d anything bad happened. 

She wrapped her arms tightly around Wynonna this time, with a lot less hesitation. As crazy as it sounded, she felt oddly safe around the older girl. Okay, maybe not totally one hundred percent safe. But she trusted her. And, she loved the wild ride.

* * *

Doc got there earlier than he was asked. He didn't know why he was supposed to meet them at this seemingly random suburban house, but he followed Wynonna’s directions. He was filled with nervous anticipation and excitement. He told Wynonna that he would back off of her, but he couldn’t help but keep trying. She was the first person who he felt like he truly had a connection with ( ~~other than Kate~~ ). He just hoped that with this band thing, she’d realize that he was good for her. 

He felt his lips morph into a grin once he saw the motorcycle he knew so well drive up the road. He had a better bike than hers, but there was something about her motorcycle that was just so much cooler than his. He probably figured it was just the girl on the motorcycle that made it so much sexier. Except, this time, there was another girl on the motorcycle. 

Once she took off her helmet, he realized that it was the younger redhead that wasn’t Mercedes. The girl that stood up to him. That girl with a fiery passion that coincidentally reminded him of Wynonna. He understood why the brunette liked her, but he couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous. 

“Fancy meeting you here, Wynonna,” Doc stated smugly once the two girls approached him. 

Wynonna rolled her eyes and said, “What the hell are you doing still sitting on your motorcycle? Don’t you want to play with us? Or were you planning on sitting here all night?” 

He turned back to the house and then back at her and muttered, “What are we doing here? I’ve been to the Homestead, remember?” 

Nicole crossed her arms, recognizing his not-so-subtle reference to time that he spent with the brunette in her house. 

“Right, but we’re practicing _here_. What’s with all the questions, Holliday? Do you not trust me or somethin’?” 

He shook his head, realizing that he kept saying the wrong things. Getting up from the motorcycle and unstrapping his guitar case from it, he murmured, “Nevermind. Let’s go. After you two ladies, of course.” 

The three of them entered the garage and Doc gasped and started walking around the room in awe. The girls chuckled at his reaction. 

“Alright, Doc, right?” Nicole said once he took his guitar out of his case and hooked it up to the speaker. “What do you play?” 

Before he had the chance to answer, Wynonna interrupted, “When I first caught sight of Mr. Holliday, he was attempting Zeppelin songs in Shorty’s. I knew right then that he wasn’t normal.” 

The redhead smirked and asked him, “Tryin’ to be Greta Van Fleet?” 

Doc glared at her and answered, “They’re a cover band pretending to not be a cover band. At least I didn’t hide the fact I was covering 'em. Besides, I know more music than Zeppelin. Ever heard of the X Ambassadors?” 

Wynonna snorted and turned to Nicole who rolled her eyes. Did they know  _ X Ambassadors? _ Shit, they only just played a song by them two days ago. Nicole walked to the piano and Wynonna turned on the mic. 

She winked at Doc before she started to sing. 

_ “The devil you know _

_ The devil you know _

_ 'Cause it's better to know the devil you know _

_ Than the devil you don't _

_ Cause wherever you go _

_ With the devil you know you're never alone _

_ But it's better to know the devil you know _

_ Than the devil you don't” _

Doc joined in and the jamming commenced. It was insane how much a guitar added to the sound. Nicole was actually impressed by his talent (and he felt the same way about her). Wynonna and Doc were used to each other’s sound, but anytime you play music, it’s always a different feeling, a different rush. 

Once the song ended, Doc asked, “So, did I pass the test?” 

As much as Nicole hated it, neither of them needed to answer his question. He was already apart of the band. 

“This is actually starting to sound like something,” Wynonna told them, feeling herself fill up with pride and healthy emotions (which, was sorta knew for her). “What else you got, John Henry Holliday?” 

He grinned at her before playing a song that the two girls recognized immediately. 

“Black Hole Sun” came out of the three of them with as much power as all of them could muster. And as good as it sounded, there was still so much missing. 

“We need someone to play the drums,” Nicole pointed out once they finished. “You guys know anybody?” 

Both Wynonna and Doc shook their heads solemnly. Before either of them could make suggestions about finding another member of their band, they found Xavier Dolls walking up the driveway again. 

He had his serious face on (Nicole wondered if that was his permanent look) and crossed his arms. He was obviously annoyed that the group had returned. 

“Earp, you’re here. Again.” 

Wynonna, now annoyed by the boy she knew from her past, said, “Yes, I am. And I hate to break it to you, Dolls, but you don’t own this house. You can’t control whether or not I come back here.” 

He grumbled and sighed, “Think this through, Earp. This is a disaster ready to happen. Do Haught and cowboy here know what happened at this house?” Watching Wynonna’s darkening face, he added, “I thought so.” 

“Why do you care? Huh, Dolls? You’ve never shown an ounce of emotion. You’ve never given a fuck about me and all of a sudden you seem to give a shit? I call BS. So what are you really doing here?” 

He didn’t answer her question. Of course, he wouldn’t answer her question. It just wasn't his style to be transparent.

Instead, he told her, “Well, if you don’t leave, I guess I’m going to have to join you.” 

Asking the question everyone else was thinking, Nicole asked, “What the hell does that mean?” 

“It means,  _ I _ play the drums. I’ll join this shit show. That way I can make sure nothing happens.” 

Wynonna snorted and replied matter-of-factly, “You can’t play the drums.” 

He rolled his eyes, sat down at the drum set, and in the span of a few seconds, proved her wrong.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, all! Reviews are welcome and super appreciated!


	5. Feelings (I'm Hooked On Them)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dolls joins the band, but not everyone is thrilled. 
> 
> Nicole has dinner with the Earp family (oh, and Mercedes, too)!
> 
> And Waverly gets help when she's caught in an embarrassing situation (thank god Nicole is there).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the WayHaught!

The band stared at each other with disbelief. Dolls could not only play the drums, he fucking mastered the drums. He played like it was effortless. He played like he was barely trying (almost to the point that he looked bored). And that pissed the three of them off. Well, not really Nicole. She didn’t give a shit if he was apart of the band. She liked his sound (and she had to admit, she was curious about him and Wynonna). It was Doc who didn't like the sudden competition and Wynonna who was afraid that too much of her past would be revealed if Dolls joined. 

“Are you three going to stop staring at me and tell me if I made the cut?” Xavier asked them, slightly enjoying their stunned silence. 

“Who the hell are you?” Doc asked him, hoping that there was nothing this strange new guy and the girl that he wanted. 

“I could ask you the same thing. The name is Dolls. Xavier Dolls. And you?” 

“Doc Holliday,” The older boy responded as he tipped his hat slightly at him. “And how do you know Wynonna Earp?” 

“I live next door,” Xavier answered with a smug shrug of his shoulders. Noticing that Doc was still confused, he added, “I was Wynonna’s neighbor when she lived here.”

Noticing that Doc was trying to process what the other boy had just revealed, Wynonna interrupted the moment by saying, “I know I’m a great topic of interest, but can we discuss what just happened? When the hell did you learn how to play like that? How?” 

He shrugged again (Nicole noticed this habit of his) and replied, “It’s just math.”

Doc harrumphed and grumbled under his breath something that resembled, 'real music isn't math' and 'what the hell does he know?'. 

He then turned to Wynonna and asked, “You aren’t seriously going to consider letting this robot into our band, are you?”

Wynonna glared at him with extreme intensity (annoyed with Doc's attitude). “First of all, it is not _your_ band. It is mine and Haught’s. So we are going to make the decision. Right, Haughtstuff?” 

Nicole nodded, agreeing with the brunette one hundred percent. 

“This is ridiculous,” Doc muttered and walked away, hunching his shoulders up like he was furious. 

Wynonna growled and raced after him, knowing that he could do something incredibly stupid. 

Nicole cursed herself. Now, she was alone with this guy that she barely even knew and Wynonna was chasing an ex (?) who seemed to have anger issues. 

“Is that guy your friend?” Dolls asked her, frowning that this situation had gone in a totally different direction than what he was expecting.

She cringed at his question and quickly told him, “Oh no. No, Doc Holliday is  _ not  _ my friend. I met him yesterday. And it was not a good first impression. But unfortunately for us, he’s good.” 

He grimaced and questioned, “So, are they together?” 

Nicole shrugged, not really knowing how to answer that question. “They aren’t a couple. But I think that they fool around-- or at least used to. I don’t think she does relationships. But it doesn’t sound like she does stability at all.” 

Dolls nodded, not surprised in the slightest. “No, she was never into that kind of thing.”

Nicole didn’t understand what that meant. She was under the impression that they barely knew each other.

“You say that like you have known her forever. What’s the deal with you two?” 

He didn’t know how to reply to that (or if he should). He barely knew this redhead and he certainly didn’t feel like he should be discussing his past with her. 

“We were neighbors. I saw enough to know who she was, even if it was years ago. I’m honestly surprised that she has chosen you as a friend.” 

She raised an eyebrow at him and countered, “I don’t think she would consider me as a friend.” 

“Wynonna Earp wouldn’t hang out with someone if she didn’t want to,” He argued, searching her face for reactions. “Besides, I think you’ll be good for her. You seem to keep her in line. Which is why I think you should try to find a place other than this one where we could rehearse. This place, it’s not good for her.”

Nicole tried to take those words in and was about to ask what he meant by that when she jumped at the sound of a motorcycle roaring and driving away. 

“What a dick!” Wynonna shouted once she came back into the garage, her feet pounding the ground with a dramatic flair. “He left! Can you believe it?” 

“What’s his problem?” The redhead asked her, not understanding why Doc had left so suddenly. 

“Who the fuck knows,” She grumbled and threw her hands up in the air with frustration. “Whatever. It’s getting late anyway. Curtis and Gus will want me home for dinner. You coming, redvine? Mercedes will be there. And since you two are being all buddy-buddy all of a sudden--”

“Shut up, Earp.” 

She debated it for a few seconds. Her parents would be pissed if she didn’t come home right away. She started liking the idea of that. She _wanted_ to piss her parents off. Hell, they'd been pissing her off her entire life. And, the thought of Wynonna's sister popped in her head. 

“Yeah. I’ll go.” 

“Fan-fucking-tastic. Let’s hit the road, Jack. See you later, Dolls. Oh, and if you don’t know, you’re apart of the team. Right, Haught?” 

Without giving it any hesitation, Nicole nodded in agreement. She liked him a lot more than she liked Doc Holliday. After giving him a short smile, she followed Wynonna to the motorcycle she had grown to love and enjoyed yet another ride that felt like was adding years to her life.

* * *

 

“Gus! Curtis! I’m home!” Wynonna shouted once she opened the door and the two of them entered the house. 

“Yo! Wyn! We’re in here!” Mercedes called back from the kitchen where she was helping Gus cook. Once the two of them walked into the kitchen, she noticed that Wynonna was not alone. “Hey, little red is here, too!” 

Gus turned around to see who had joined her niece. She looked the girl up and down as if to see if she was good enough for Wynonna. 

“You must be Nicole. I’m Wynonna’s aunt. You can call me Gus. Curtis and Waverly should be home soon. Her cheerleading practice just ended. Nicole, please tell me you eat meat.” 

“I do,” Nicole replied, smiling at the intimidating woman. 

“Good girl. Now, you three girls can go hang out. I’ll call you when dinner is ready,” She told them and practically shooed them away. She wanted nothing more than to have her niece hang out with her friends like a normal girl. 

Wynonna led the two redheads to her bedroom with a dramatic walk, causing the two redheads to share a look of amusement. Nicole wasn’t surprised by the room. The walls were painted black with posters covering them from head to toe. They basically screamed the brunette, which oddly comforted Nicole. She knew that her own room at home didn’t match her at all. Her parents decorated her room. It never felt like home. 

Mercedes poked the younger girl's arm and told her, “When I started sleeping over, Brandon Flowers gave me nightmares. Honestly, Haught. Be careful in this room. These people are scary as shit at night.” 

Nicole snorted and stared at the singer of The Killers band. She had to admit, it was kinda frightening, but in a cool way. She wished it was her room (if she could take away some of the black and angsty pictures). 

Wynonna flopped on the bed and Mercedes soon followed. Nicole watched as the older redhead laid her head on the brunette’s lap. It made the youngest girl want to look away, feeling like she was intruding such a personal moment. But the two girls didn't seem to care (like they interacted this personally on a daily basis).

“So, Haughtstuff. What’s it like to be a goody goody and having parents that are proud of you?” Wynonna asked the obviously uncomfortable girl who didn’t know where to stand or sit. 

Nicole hated how they thought that she had a good situation at home. 

“I’m not sure. My parents hate me. I’m exactly the opposite of what they want me to be. It doesn’t matter that I have good grades or perfect attendance. They want me to be petite, pretty, and popular. And I am none of those things.” 

“My parents are never home,” Mercedes confessed suddenly, letting Nicole know that she wasn’t alone with a bad parent situation. “Instead I have to stay home alone with my perv brother and my sister who is bonkers. That’s why I’m here so often.”

Wynonna sighed and said, “Yeah, I’m tired of you, Mer. But I’m sorry, guys. I win with the suckiest parent situation. My mom left and I killed my dad. Doesn’t get much worse than that.” 

Nicole tried to swallow that information. She heard about Wynonna Earp and the accident. But Wynonna had never referenced it. Not until now. 

“Don’t feel pity for me, Haughtness. Your life is shit, too. I ain’t feeling bad for you.” 

The younger redhead nodded and tried to shake away her thoughts about Wynonna.

“So, you in a relationship, Haught? Mercedes and I like to live our lives single and free to mingle.” 

Nicole felt her cheeks redden. She knew it was going to come up. That it had to come up at some point. She hadn’t told anyone about her attraction to girls ( ~~well, except Shae~~ ). But she felt somewhat safe with her new friends. Not that she was itching to tell them that she was into females, but more like she didn’t care if they knew. 

“Nah,” Nicole answered with a shrug of her shoulders. “I’m not in a relationship. After my last one, that could barely be considered one, I really don’t want to do that again.” 

Both Mercedes and Wynonna leaned up in bed, both fully curious and intrigued by the redhead’s vagueness. 

“Why?” Mercedes asked with sudden intensity. “What happened? Was he forceful? Did he cheat? Guys can be such dicks.” 

Nicole shook her head and the words spilled out of her mouth before she could stop them. 

“No, she was great.” 

That silenced both Mercedes and Wynonna. But they both nodded for her to continue. 

“My best friend and I... we... we were inseparable. Things happened and her parents found out that she was into girls and they didn’t allow her to talk to me anymore. And then I moved. I haven’t talked to her since.” 

“Shit.” 

“That sucks dude,” Mercedes agreed with Wynonna. “Parents can be assholes.” 

Nicole found herself with tears in her eyes. She had never told anyone about her sexuality. With Shae, it was all so unspoken. But here, the words formed and fell out of her mouth. And they didn’t turn their backs on her. They didn’t run away. 

“You guys are kinda the first people I have told. Who would have seen this coming? Me coming out to you two.” 

“Oh, I totally called it,” Wynonna muttered with a simple shrug. “I told Mercedes on day one that you were into chicks.” 

A grin formed from the youngest girl's lips. “Are you saying I give off lesbian vibes?” 

“Wynonna is lying,” Mercedes snorted and bumped her shoulder into the brunette’s. “She just doesn’t know how to deal with emotional moments, little red. I’m glad that you were able to tell us, though. It means a lot.” 

The older redhead got up from the bed and grabbed a hold of the younger girl’s hands. She pulled her onto the bed and piled Nicole top of herself and Wynonna. A laughter erupted from all of them as the group tackle turned into a group tickling match. 

The laughter was silenced once the door opened suddenly, revealing Gus and Waverly staring at them with awe. 

“Holy shit,” Gus breathed out, staring at the group with wonder. “I cannot believe it. Are you guys actually having fun? Waverly, have you ever heard your sister laugh like this?” 

Waverly couldn’t believe it either. She gaped at the sight in front of her. If Mercedes was over, she was used to hearing the sounds of booming rock or yelling from one of them ranting about something. She hadn’t heard something like this since… since before her father’s death. She couldn’t help but wonder if it was all because of the mysterious redhead. She didn’t know anyone was capable of making Wynonna this happy. She certainly thought that if she couldn’t do it, no one could. But obviously, she was proven wrong. It almost hurt, in a way. But she was gladder that her sister seemed to be getting better. 

“Dude, you’re going to catch flies,” Wynonna told her sister, feeling suddenly vulnerable in the moment. “Is the food ready? I’m starving.” 

“It is. Come on, girls. Let’s not keep your Uncle waiting. But knowing that man, he probably already started eating.”

* * *

 

“So, Nicole, you moved here recently, haven’t you?” Curtis asked the young girl as they passed around the food around the table. At her nod, he continued, “Where did you move from?” 

“Toronto,” Nicole answered. “Very different than Purgatory. But I’m starting to like it here. It has its charms.”

“Aww, thanks, Haught,” Wynonna joked lightly with food in her mouth, causing Gus to glare at her. “Kidding, kidding.” 

Gus rolled her eyes and then turned to her niece’s new friend. “So you’re a big city girl, eh? Big adjustment moving here? Missing any friends?” 

Nicole immediately thought about Shae but shook the thought of her out of her head. “I guess it was an adjustment. But I like it better here. It’s not as noisy and crowded.”

“Yeah, and why would she miss her friends?” Wynonna asked with a wild grin spread across her face. “She has  _ us _ .” 

After she pointed to herself and Mercedes, the older redhead muttered, “Which is why she probably misses her old friends.” 

“So… Nicole…” Curtis interrupted, noticing the awkwardness the girl in question started to show. “How long have you played piano? That is what you play, right?” 

Nicole nodded and appreciated the easy question. “Yeah, I started playing when I was six. My grandmother passed away and we inherited this grand piano. Since my parents didn’t want the hassle of selling it but didn’t want any guests to see it, they stuck it in my room. So, I started playing. The rest is history, I guess.” 

“That’s so impressive,” Waverly marveled as she relentlessly absorbed every word the redhead said ( ~~and all she wanted was to learn more~~ ). “You play rock music, but do you play anything else?” 

After blushing, the redhead shrugged with humbleness and answered, “This and that. I learned how to play through classical music, but I prefer jazz or rock. Though it doesn’t really sound good just as accompaniment. Which is why it’s good that I’m finally playing with someone that can really sing.” 

“Waverly can sing too,” Curtis told the redhead with pride. “She and ‘Nonna used to belt Disney songs when they were kids. You can imagine how annoying it was when Frozen came out. Any time they sang, Willa would just--” He stopped once Wynonna dropped her fork on the plate, causing the room to go silent. He forgot how touchy everyone still was. Not that he wasn’t-- he still missed his niece-- but he realized that they couldn’t continue pretending like she didn’t exist. 

Nicole didn’t realize why everyone had gone so silent. It was obvious to her that the name ‘Willa’ made everyone uncomfortable, but she didn’t recognize it. She didn’t know what to say to make things less… tense. 

“Nicole, dear, what do your parents do?” Gus asked, trying to change the subject.

Before she could reply, Wynonna answered for her. “They are professional assholes that specialize in douchery.” 

As Gus and Curtis glared at their niece, Mercedes and Nicole shared an amused look. Waverly, on the other hand, didn’t understand what that meant. And she really wanted to know. 

“My dad sells cars and my mom is a health nut who teaches other people how to become health nuts. I really don’t want to follow in their footsteps.” 

“What do you want to do?” Curtis asked curiously. 

Nicole didn’t have a particular answer. All she could think about was all her options her parents would hate. “I’m thinking about going to the police academy. But I’m not sure.” She was surprised to find no one looking amused or seemed to have pity for her. They believed her and god she felt good having people believe in her. 

And then she found Waverly’s eyes. Her pretty eyes that she swore she could drown in if she stared hard enough. She felt her face redden and she forced herself to look away. She didn't want to seem like a creep. For the rest of dinner, she made sure she didn't look at the brunette longer than normal. 

* * *

 

Nicole didn’t know where Wynonna and Mercedes went. She was helping Gus with the dishes when she noticed that they vanished. Searching the rooms for the girls, she suddenly heard a yelp and cry. 

“Wynonna!” Waverly called out behind her bedroom door. “I need help!” 

The redhead looked all around her but found no one. So, she walked up to the door and said, “I don’t know where Wynonna is, but I can help.” 

“Oh. Uh… sure. Come on in!” The younger Earp shouted back. 

Nicole anxiously opened the door and found Waverly’s bare stomach as she had her shirt stuck around her arms and head. The older girl didn’t mean to stare, but she saw the girl’s chest as well. And damn, her heart started to thump and her head started to pound. She immediately recognized this being something in which people called ‘gay panic.’ 

“Oh, honey,” Nicole joked slightly, not knowing if she should laugh or jump right in to help.

Waverly frowned and her pink flooded her cheeks. This was why she wasn’t sure if she should let the girl in. She hated that the older girl saw her like this. 

“Oh god. I look ridiculous, don’t I?” 

Nicole quickly shook her head and walked over to the girl. “No way. Here, Waverly. I got you.” 

Her heart beating louder, she pulled the shirt up and off the girl’s body. Face to face, their bodies were so close together. It was a moment neither of them had really experienced before. When time went by slower and every little fraction of a second seemed to swarm around as if it wasn't real. 

And it scared the shit out of them both.

It was never like this with Champ. Waverly never felt this way about any person she hung out with or told her friends that she ‘liked.’ Nicole Haught was like a new fresh breath of air, and god, she loved it. And hated it. Because she was supposed to be perfect and she made all the right decisions and liked all the right people. But here she was, desperately staring, heart thumping, hands sweating for a girl she barely knew. 

Waverly broke the eye contact by leaning over to put on a different shirt, her shoulder briskly hitting Nicole's thigh in the process. It caused Nicole to jump back and Waverly to shudder. 

“God,” The younger girl murmured. “I’m so embarrassed.” 

“Don’t be,” Nicole replied without hesitation and then added before she could think it through, “You’re beautiful.” She silently cursed herself. Of course, she had to say it out loud. Of course, she had to screw herself over. Of course, her gayness controlled her rather than the other way around.

Waverly swallowed the other girl's words as she pulled her long hair out of her shirt. She had never felt more flattered and frightened at once. 

“You’re too sweet,” The brunette told her, trying to push away the awkwardness and pretended that Nicole’s comment was friendly and that they were just being good friends. “Thanks, Nicole.” 

“Don’t mention it,” Nicole replied quickly, still angry with herself for saying what she had said. To change the subject, she admitted, “I’m glad that Wynonna has you. You’re a good sister.” 

Waverly smiled at her and finally found the courage to look into her eyes again. “I try my hardest. She’s a lot to handle sometimes. But I’m glad that she met you. She needs more friends that treat her well. Mercedes is great but Wynonna needs all the help that she can get. She’s been through a lot.” 

Nicole nodded, not exactly knowing the details to the older Earp’s tragic past, but knowing enough to understand what Waverly was saying. 

“I won’t give up on her,” The redhead whispered, not knowing if she was trying to prove herself or her loyalty to the brunette in front of her. 

A smile spread across Waverly’s face and Nicole swore she could see a sparkle in the brunette's eyes. 

“I know. That’s why I like you so much.” 

“Have lunch with me,” The older girl blurted out before she could stop herself. “Tomorrow, I mean. I can take you off campus.” 

“I don’t have an off-campus pass,” Waverly told her, surprised that the other girl wanted to hang out with her ( ~~she thought it was just her that wanted to get to know her~~ ). 

Nicole grinned at her and said, “I don’t either. But I know where to go so we don’t get caught.” 

Waverly opened her mouth to reply, but they were interrupted by Mercedes and Wynonna who entered the room. 

“Ready to go, little red?” Mercedes asked her perkily, not noticing that she was interrupting a moment. “Thought that you needed to get some homework done, nerd.” 

Nicole rolled her eyes and glared at her. She couldn’t blame them, though. They didn’t know that she was sharing a moment with the younger Earp. And she didn’t want them to know that. Especially Wynonna. 

“Okay. Yeah, let’s go. Er-- bye, Waverly.” 

The youngest girl smiled gently before watching the others leave. And even though her bedroom became empty again, the image of Nicole Haught stayed in her mind like she never left. Waverly replayed their interaction all night long with a grin on her face, a flutter in her stomach, and an ache in her chest (and she wondered if the other girl felt the same). 

(Nicole did).

* * *

 

Headphones on her head, Nicole listened to Hayley Kiyoko and scoured Tumblr for pictures and gifs of Natasha Negovanis, Eliza Dushku, Kristen Stewart, Kate McKinnon, and Stephanie Beatriz (though none of them could compare to the brunette on her mind). Finally, she felt like she graduated from being a baby gay after coming out to her friends. 

She jumped once she felt her phone vibrate. She wasn’t used to it. 

**Unknown:** _ Hi, Nicole! This is Waverly, I got your number from Wynonna. I just wanted to tell you that I want to have lunch with you tomorrow! (If you are still up to it, of course!) :)  _

A smile crept on her face and she quickly replied. 

**Nicole Haught:** _ Of course I’m still up to it! Let’s meet in front of the library. Ooh, and bring some cash.  _

**Waverly Earp:** _ You aren’t bringing me to a drug deal, right?  _

**Nicole Haught:** _ No, buttercup. I know the difference between you and your sister.  _

**Waverly Earp:** _ That’s good. I was worried.  _

**Waverly Earp: ...** _ Cupcake.  _

Nicole squealed and felt her stomach squirm with weird feelings. Or… maybe she was starting to realize that they weren’t weird. Maybe, she didn’t even want to push back those feelings that she was starting to have for her friend’s younger sibling. 

Maybe she liked Waverly Earp. 

And maybe she didn’t care anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think!


	6. crushcrushcrush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole and Waverly have lunch together. But it's not a date. It's totally not a date. :)

The next morning, Nicole thought that she fucked up. Big time. She was so confident last night, but after a night of over thinking and extreme panic, she wondered if asking Waverly Earp to lunch was the maybe the worst idea she had ever had. She thought there was no way the brunette could ever have the same feelings that she had.

But then again, it wasn’t like she could cancel. Especially not when she got a series of texts on her way to school. 

**Waverly Earp:** _ So excited to meet you for lunch :)  _

**Waverly Earp:** _ Sorry, do I sound overeager?  _

**Waverly Earp:** _ Not that I’m not eager! I totally am! _

**Waverly Earp:** _ Shit balls. I’m making it worse, aren’t I? Just ignore me.  _

Nicole smiled at her phone, cherishing every word that the younger girl sent her. She’d squeal and cheer if her father wasn’t in the car. 

**Nicole Haught:** _ You haven’t made anything worse! I’m eager too! And I’d never ignore you, buttercup! <3 _

She hated what she sent the second she saw that Waverly read the message. God, Nicole couldn’t believe how obvious she was being. She wasn’t used to flirting, especially not with someone that was definitely straight. 

**Waverly Earp:** _ :)))))))) thanksss Nicole! I’d never ignore you either! See you soon! _

She didn’t know if the brunette was flirting with her back or she was reading too much into it, but either way, it made her feel all warm and fuzzy. 

“Are you texting a boy?” Her dad asked her, noticing that she was grinning at her phone. “You having more fun than I thought? Just don’t get pregnant. I’m too young and hot to be a grandfather.” 

Nicole felt her body tense up. He ruined any good feelings that she just had, causing hate to rush through her bones. The redhead never could connect to her father (hell, she rarely likes him), but this moment was different. She despised him so much in that very moment that she wished she could open the car door and hurt herself just to get away from him. 

Once they pulled into the parking lot, she practically jumped out of the car. 

“Woah there, little red!” Mercedes shouted as she approached the younger redhead after watching her storm out of her dad’s car. “What happened to you?” 

Nicole growled out, “My dad was being a dick, but what else is new?” She took a deep breath to calm herself down. She knew there wasn’t any point of getting angry about something that she knew she couldn’t change. “How was your night?” 

Mercedes shrugged and answered, “I spent it ignoring my siblings and texting Wynonna. Hey, wanna hang out with us tonight?” 

“What are you guys doing?” 

“We’re usually spontaneous on Friday nights. But, to be honest with you, it usually involves me convincing Wynonna to not get drunk or high. Which, as I say it out loud, probably sounds horrible.” 

Nicole snorted, glad that she had someone to take her mind off of her last 'conversation' with her father. As much as she didn’t want to deal with a wasted Wynonna Earp, the last thing she wanted was to spend the night with her parents. 

“Horrible sounds better than spending a second with my family.” 

Mercedes couldn’t help but feel a twang of worry for the younger girl, which was odd to her since she never thought that she’d care about another soul besides Wynonna.

“You okay, little red? Your dad seems to have really shaken you up. I’m sure Wynonna would attack him if you told her to. Or, she could get her motorcycle gang to.” 

“No, it’s okay-- wait what did you just say? _Motorcycle gang_?” Nicole asked, not processing her friend’s words until she started replying. 

The older girl shrugged and told her, “I don’t know. I never really understood. That was during a time where… let’s just say we took a break. Wynonna doesn’t tend to tell me things about herself. I’m still hoping that you’ll be able to get things out of her. For some reason, she seems to really like you. Or she thinks that she can help you.” 

“Help me?” 

“You’re practically a baby gay, little red. She wants to protect you. She cares about you. Maybe even sees herself in you.” 

Nicole raised an eyebrow and countered, “But we’re polar opposites.” 

“Doesn’t mean she can’t relate to you. Look, I gotta get to class, but come to my car after school. We’ll hang out. See ya later, little red.” 

Before she could help herself, Nicole replied, “Bye, big red.” 

Mercedes pushed her friend into a locker before continuing to walk away, holding up her middle finger as she swiftly headed to class. 

“Nicole!” Jeremy called out, seeing the interaction as he entered the hallway. Afraid that she was seriously hurt, he ran to her side. “Nicole, are you alright? Should we go see Nedley?” 

She burst with laughter and pat his shoulder appreciatively. “Thanks, Jeremy, but I’m alright. She was just messing with me. We’re friends.” 

He raised his eyebrows with astonishment. He wasn’t surprised that Nicole made friends, he was surprised that Mercedes Gardner had allowed Nicole to become her friend. He heard that she only hung out with Wynonna Earp (who had a lone wolf story of her own). 

“You’re friends with Mercedes Gardner? Isn’t she mean? Are you sure she isn’t playing you? We can still go talk to Nedley.” 

Nicole shook her head, flattered that he was so worried. “No, Mercedes is my friend. I swear everything’s okay. I made fun of her, that was why she pushed me. And Nedley is the reason why we are friends. He forced me and Wynonna to start this band. And through her, I met Mercedes. They are both a lot… less scary than they seem. I like them more than practically everyone else at this school.” 

He still wasn’t totally convinced. After a year at Purgatory High, he had heard things. Things that worried him about Wynonna Earp. 

“She was in juvie,” He whispered as he leaned in closer to her. “Wynonna. She’s been in juvie for like six months or something. She killed her father. She’s… she’s dangerous, Nicole.” 

She heard him. She understood his concern. Hell, she had the same concern at first. But after spending time with the jaded senior, it all sounded ridiculous. Or, at least, like it wasn’t the full picture. She knew that there were parts of Wynonna Earp that no one got to see.

“She’s complicated,” Nicole told him as she started to walk to class, him following her closely. “She’s not exactly normal, sure, but she’s not dangerous. She’s actually nice if you get to know her. Okay, maybe not exactly 'nice' but she cares about her family and her friends. She’s a good person, Jeremy.” 

“Are you sure you aren’t blinded by her coolness? Because I get it. Motorcycle, leather jacket, having boyfriends  _ and  _ girlfriends, detent--”

“ _ Girlfriends? _ ” Nicole interrupted, stopping abruptly in the middle of the hallway. She thought she didn’t hear him correctly. 

He shrugged, a little afraid of her confusion. “I mean, I’ve heard that she has been with both. But I'm guessing from the surprised look on your face that she didn’t tell you that.”

“No,” Nicole whispered disappointedly. “No, she didn’t.” 

She wasn’t mad at her friend. She knew that Wynonna didn’t  _ have  _ to tell her that she was also into girls. It just sort of hurt that she didn’t. Especially after Nicole went through all that trouble spilling her guts. 

Jeremy realized the damage he caused after it was too late. “Oh. Well, I’m sure she wasn’t keeping it from you or anything! I mean, you’re new here after all and she might not know how you… if you… maybe you’re religious--” 

“No, it’s not that!” Nicole interrupted again. “No, I don’t care if she’s into girls! I just wish she would have told me. Hey, Jeremy. I have to go. But I’ll talk to you in Chem, okay?” 

He nodded and cursed himself, thinking that he ruined the conversation. He hoped he didn’t ruin the only potential friendship he had at the school ~~(except for Robin)~~.

* * *

 

Waverly could barely contain her excitement. She didn’t feel this way when she was planning to hang out with other friends or other dates. This feeling was new and it was thrilling and terrifying at the same time. She just wanted her first two classes to go fast enough so that she could meet up with Nicole and see what she had planned. 

When the redhead asked her to lunch, she had to admit, she was surprised. She thought that her curiosity and interest was one-sided. 

There weren’t too many people that were willing to get to know her sister and yet there Nicole was. She didn’t cower or run away. 

But then again… that wasn’t the only reason why she wanted to get to know her. It wasn’t like she felt that way about Mercedes. 

There was something about Nicole Haught that was so… intriguing. She was new and mysterious, for sure, but there was something else. She didn’t feel like she had to pretend around her. She didn’t feel like she had to put up any facades around her. Like no matter what she did or who she was, Nicole wouldn’t run. 

“Waverly, earth to Waverly,” Stephanie said as she poked her friend incessantly. “Girl, did you do the homework or not? I need to copy it. She’s coming around to check it.” 

“Oh yeah,” Waverly said as she returned to reality, blushing with embarrassment. “Yeah, I have it.” 

She dug into her binder and passed the sheet to her so-called friend.  Stephanie scribbled down answers without even thanking her. Waverly wondered why she was even friends with the girl that would never understand her. The girl had no redeeming qualities and Waverly hated every minute that she spent with the conceited girl. And yet-- she spent almost all of her time with her. 

“So, I’m meeting Jace under the bleachers during fourth today,” Stephanie told her as she looked at her Instagram feed. “Do you think that Owen will find out? I mean, I never told him that we were dating, so it’s fine, right?”

Waverly wanted to stick her pencil in her throat hearing this shit. 

“Yeah, Steph. I’m sure it’s fine. You don’t really care about the repercussions anyway, right?”

The girl raised her eyebrows at the brunette’s sudden bitter tone. 

“Don’t be a bitch, Waverly. Just because I have men in my life doesn’t mean you have to be rude to me. Besides, if you wanted dick you could ask Champ. It would certainly make you unwind a little. You’re so stiff.” 

Waverly tightened her grip around her pencil.  But she didn’t say anything. She wouldn’t dare. She was Waverly Earp. She was nice, beautiful, polite, popular Waverly Earp. Life had been easier for her for a while now because of that image that she created for herself. She couldn’t ruin that now. All she had to do was keep her mouth shut and wait for lunch.

* * *

 

Nicole was waiting in front of the library like she said she would. Seeing her literally made Waverly sigh with relief. She was worried that the redhead wasn’t going to show up. 

“Waverly!” Nicole cheered as the brunette approached her. She wanted to pull the girl into a hug but thought it would be too weird. Instead, she tried to act confident and asked, “You ready for an adventure?” 

“Totally!” Waverly told her happily with a genuine smile. “Where are we going?” 

“It’s a secret. You ready to go?” 

The brunette stared at the redhead with awe. She was definitely ready for whatever the other girl had planned. Speechlessly, she nodded. She didn’t know if words could form in her mouth at the moment. 

Nicole grinned and led the girl out of the back of the building. She planned the journey in her mind but she was still nervous about variables that she knew that she couldn't control. Quickly, she took Waverly a couple blocks away to the place that had been in her thoughts for a while. 

“I know this is really cheesy,” Nicole said as they stood at the entrance. “And if you hate this we could go back, but I used to hang out in one near my old high school, and I had some of my greatest memories there. I thought maybe we could made some good ones here, too.” 

Waverly had to admit, she was surprised. Even though she lived in Purgatory her whole life, she had never been here. It was too ‘lame’ for her friends and too 'family oriented' for her family. But none of that mattered. Because when she looked at the look of utter excitement in Nicole’s eyes and thought about how much effort the redhead put into this, nothing else mattered.

“I think… you’re brilliant, Nicole Haught. Race you in there!” Waverly squealed and ran into the building. 

Once she entered, she froze at the entrance. She was slightly overwhelmed by all the new sensations. The sounds of pins falling and old 2000's music playing and popcorn popping flooded into her ears. And she loved it. 

“You’ve never been to a bowling alley, have you?” Nicole asked her gently as she noticed the gape that etched the younger girl’s face. 

“No. It’s incredible. What do we do first?” 

Nicole chuckled and said, “First, we rent ugly and uncomfortable shoes. What size are you? I’ll go get them if you go get food for both of us.” 

“I’m a ten,” Waverly told her before adding, “What food do you want?” 

The redhead shrugged and said, “Surprise me.”

* * *

 

They ate quickly knowing they didn’t have much time. 

“Okay, so how exactly do I bowl?” Waverly asked her as she picked up the heavy ball. “I get that I have to hit the pins but… how?” 

Nicole couldn’t help but notice the brunette’s utter adorableness. She wanted to savor it and hold it inside her forever, but she knew she couldn’t stare at the girl forever. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll show you. Okay, so roll the ball and we can figure out what we’re starting with. Maybe you’re a natural.” 

Waverly nodded and took a deep breath. She tried to think about the scenes in films or shows where characters had bowled. She leaned over slightly, almost tiptoed closer to the lane, and rolled the ball against the surface. 

It took two seconds for it to roll into the gutter. 

Nicole watched as the realization dawned on the other girl that she totally screwed up. The redhead watched the brunette's face fall and was so entertained. 

“Shitballs! You didn’t see that! That didn’t happen!” Waverly muttered as she turned around to face a grinning Nicole. 

“It’s okay!” The redhead reassured her as she walked up to the brunette and put a comforting hand on her arm. “It was your first time. No one expects you to be a pro. I’ll show you.” Realizing that she was still touching her, she pulled back immediately and turned away, feeling her cheeks burn. She picked up a ball and did her bowling mojo thing. She felt a little rusty after not bowling since Shae had stopped speaking to her. 

It almost a strike, but was still super impressive in Waverly’s mind. 

“Okay, you have to show me how you did that,” Waverly begged her. 

Nicole chuckled before picking  up another ball and giving it to her.

“Okay, so first off, where you stand and how you move before you let go of the ball matters. Here,” she said, pulling the brunette close to her. Nicole held her breath as she wrapped her arms around the brunette ~~(and god did the younger Earp smell good)~~. 

She started moving the both of them to the side and instructed, “Okay, we’re moving a little bit, moving a little bit, stop! Here. Look how far away we are from that line? This is where you should always start. About three feet away. Now, I’m going to lower your arm as we inch closer to the line.” 

When they approached the line, Nicole told her, “Okay, let go of the ball.” 

Waverly followed her instructions even though her breathing became uneven. She wasn’t used to having someone that close ~~(and she definitely wasn’t used to liking someone being that close~~ ). Boys had tried to get that close but all it did was irritate her.

She barely even cared where the ball went. She just wanted to stay in Nicole’s strong arms. 

“Not bad,” Nicole breathed out as she watched the ball knock down more than half the pins. “Think that you could do that on your own? It takes practice.” 

“I’m not sure,” Waverly whispered gently not wanting to let her go. “I think I might need some more of your personal guidance. Where do we stand again?”

* * *

 

Waverly was embarrassed to admit it, but she purposely tried to suck so that Nicole had to consistently show her what she was doing wrong. It was sneaky and stupid, Waverly knew that, but she loved every second of it. 

“That was incredible,” Waverly told her as they returned the shoes. “I mean, you probably think I’m an idiot now, but that was great.” 

“Not an idiot, buttercup. I’ve been playing for years. You did amazing. I’m just glad you didn’t hate it.” 

“Definitely didn’t hate it,” The brunette told her sincerely. “That was so much fun. More fun than I have had in a long time.” 

Nicole felt so much pleasure at that moment. She could barely believe that she hadn’t fucked things up. Things had actually gone better than she could have hoped ~~(she spent most of the time with her arms around Waverly)~~. 

“I’m glad.”

When they left the building and started walking back to the school, Waverly asked her, “So you used to go bowling frequently in Toronto?”

Nicole nodded and admitted, “It was my best friend’s thing. She was actually on a team if you can believe it. She loved playing with a bunch of retired and middle-aged people. She was very serious about it.” 

Waverly felt a twinge of jealousy but pushed it back. It wasn’t like she could feel jealous for something she didn’t know happened, right? Besides, she didn’t even know if Nicole was into… girls. 

“She sounds interesting.” 

“She is. But I’m glad to be sharing this with _you_. Coming to Purgatory was hard. You and your sister have made me feel so welcome. Well… as welcome as Wynonna can make one feel.” 

Waverly chuckled lightly and Nicole felt her stomach flutter at the sound. “She’s certainly intense. But she has a good heart and I’m glad you have stayed long enough to see that. She-- we-- have been through a lot. We took two different paths. But I’m glad that both of them have led to you.” 

No one had something like that to her before. Her heart thumping, her stomach fluttering, her body shaking, she knew she was falling for the girl by her side. She was now positive that her feelings weren’t friendly. The only problem was that she didn’t see a scenario that Waverly would feel the same. 

She knew that it was unlikely that they’d have anything more than a friendship. But she thought she could live with it. She knew that being friends with Waverly Earp was better than not having her in her life at all. 

“Me too, Waverly. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!


	7. Ghosts That We Knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mercedes, Wynonna, and Nicole take a trip (the non-illegal substance kind). 
> 
> Wynonna and Doc have a chat about their relationship.

Nicole and Waverly were late to class, but neither of them cared too much (their thoughts certainly were _not_ on their education at the moment). Dreamy-eyed and full of romantic flutter, they tried to listen to their teachers, but it was practically impossible when all of their thoughts were on each other.

The end of the school day couldn’t have come soon enough. They were both itching to freely fantasize about one another without feeling guilty about not learning. Once the final bell rang, Nicole felt like she could breathe again.

“Now this is a change in mood,” Mercedes smirked as she watched her redhead friend approach her car. "Excited to see me, little red?"

"In your dreams, Gardner."

Nicole snorted and as she opened the side door, she noticed that Wynonna was already in the passenger seat looking through her phone. Recognizing the Spotify app from far away, the redhead guessed that the brunette was trying to figure out what music they were going to listen to.

“Hey, guys,” Nicole said once she hopped into the back seats, flinging her backpack on the ground carelessly. She was finally  _free_. “Where we heading off to?"

Wynonna looked back at her younger friend and grinned at her mischievously. “It’s going to be a surprise, Haughtstuff. But don’t worry, we aren’t going to anything too illegal. We wouldn’t want a future cop to get in trouble, now would we?”

The youngest girl rolled her eyes like she was annoyed, but she knew Wynonna enough to understand that her making fun of Nicole was the brunette’s way for saying ‘we won’t get in trouble because I don’t want to ruin your future’ and ‘if you weren’t here, we would totally go do something illegal.’

“Are we ready to go?” Mercedes asked the both of them. “It’s a long drive so we won’t be able to turn around easily. You need anything, little red?”

Nicole shook her head. She didn’t know where they were going, but she didn’t really give a fuck. Not anymore. When she was with them, all of her stress seemed to vanish. 

The two seniors shared a look of excitement before Wynonna blasted Paramore and Mercedes pulled out of the school parking lot. 

* * *

 

The older redhead wasn’t joking when she said that it’d be a long trip. An hour and a half into the ride, the three of them stopped to get milkshakes. The small cafe that they found seemed like it was from a cheesy Hallmark movie. They felt like they were stepping onto a set rather than an actual cafe. 

Nicole was especially amused by Wynonna’s merciless flirtation with a busboy working at the cafe. The brunette made the poor boy blush in five different colors. 

The junior turned to look at Mercedes and watch her reaction, surprised to find that the older girl wasn’t laughing at all. In fact, she wasn’t even looking at Wynonna. She just stared at her milkshake and slowly mixed it around with her straw. It certainly wasn’t the typical Mercedes that Nicole was used to.

“Are you okay?” Nicole asked the senior as Wynonna continued to mess with the boy. “You’re not making fun of him which worries me.”

Mercedes' lips twitched into a smile for a brief second before she replied, “I’m good, little red. Driving sucks the life outta you, ya know? I’m surprised that you care enough to ask. I thought I annoyed you.”

“You do,” Nicole affirmed without hesitating. “But you’ve grown on me. Like a fungus.”

Mercedes grinned and grabbed the younger girl’s milkshake out of her hands and took a long sip.

“A fungus you don’t want to get rid of.”

“Don’t put words into my mouth,” Nicole gasped playfully, taking her milkshake back and drank it slowly. “I secretly despise you, Mercedes Gardner.”

The older girl snorted and retorted, “I think that you mean that you secretly love me, Nicole Haught. Because you do. Love me, that is. And don’t even try to deny it. You can’t. I wouldn’t believe you if you said you didn’t.”

Nicole rolled her eyes again and said, “Well, at least it’s not one-sided. You adore me.”

“Am I interrupting a moment between the two of you?” Wynonna asked them as the returned to her friends and sat down next to Mercedes in the booth. “If you two got together it’d be a little incestuous, don’t you think? You both look like you’re siblings.”

“Gross, Earp,” Nicole muttered as she blushed. She had no feelings for the older redhead, but she was still a gay mess. She still blushed without fail.

“Gross?” Mercedes asked, pretending to be offended. “Honey, if only you could get me. I’d rock your world, little red.”

“She’s not lying,” Wynonna said, winking at Mercedes.

Once again, Nicole didn’t know if the brunette was joking or not. Especially after finding out that Wynonna messed around with girls as well.

“Where did that poor innocent boy go?” Mercedes asked her friend, changing the subject quickly.

A grin spread across Wynonna’s face. “I told him that we were interested in a foursome and into extreme bondage.”

“No,” Flew out of Nicole’s mouth before she could stop herself. “You didn’t.” She glared at Mercedes who practically had her milkshake coming out of her nose she was laughing so hard.

“Uh, of course, I did! He started talking about ‘meeting in the back’ so I had to mess with him a little. I don’t know if I scared him or gave him an erection but either way it got him to leave so I think it worked.”

“Oh god, Earp,” Nicole murmured, pretending to gag. “Now I won’t be able to finish my milkshake.”

“Probably a good thing, then,” Wynonna told her simply. “We should probably get back to the road. We’re still thirty minutes out, right, Mer?”

Mercedes nodded as she gulped down the last bit of her milkshake. “Let’s hit it.”

* * *

The sun was about to set when they finally arrived. Once they got out of the car, Nicole’s jaw dropped. She was expecting a trip to a club or something. She wasn’t expecting _this_. The calm nature brought by the winter and empty frontier. They were in the middle of nowhere, but it felt like home. She was used to the trees and forests from Purgatory, but this place was somehow different. The land was frozen, the grass crisp from the frost. And yet, there was also a different sensation in the air. Even in the dead of winter, the youngest girl felt the sea breeze.

“Come on, Haught,” Wynonna whispered as she nudged her friend gently. “You haven’t seen the best part yet.”

Wynonna led them to the edge of the cliff. Nicole gasped and gripped the brunette’s arm.

The cliff was overlooking the most elegant waterfall the youngest girl had ever seen. She almost thought that it was unreal. That she was living some kind of fantasy.

Nicole’s hand slipped into the brunette’s. Wynonna gave it a small squeeze. She knew exactly what it was like to see this place for the first time. It was like a religious experience. An experience that you just couldn’t go through alone. Mercedes was at the redhead's other side and the older girl wrapped her arm around Nicole’s waist.

“How’d you find this place?” Nicole asked them both in awe.

“I found it two years ago,” Wynonna eventually told her, the origin story at the tip of her tongue. As much as she wanted the whole thing to fall out, hesitation and fear stopped her. “I was running away and I found this place instead. I uh… I brought Mercedes here on her birthday a year ago. We come here when it feels like the world is ending.”

“So why’d you bring me?” The youngest girl whispered, not understanding why they had let her into what seemed like something that was sacred between the two of them.

The brunette sighed and breathed in the fresh air. “Because you understand. And you stayed.”

“There’s no place I’d rather be,” Nicole promised her with a small shrug as if it was no big deal, even though they all knew it was the biggest deal.

After hearing Nicole's response, Wynonna took a deep breath. She was finally ready to confess. “When I found this place... I was running away. As far away as I could. But then I found this cliff and I stood right here. And I decided to go home. I can’t tell you why I changed my mind. But I did. This cliff probably saved my life. I’m sure not too many people can say that about cliffs.”

After hearing her emotional story, Nicole fell in love with the scenery even more. Tears in her eyes, she all of a sudden couldn’t imagine her life without Wynonna Earp. Well, actually, she could. She remembered the desperate and bitter loneliness from being without friends. She just didn’t _want_ to remember it. Nor, did she feel the need to remember it. Not when she had them. 

“Wynonna brought me here last year. It was during our dry spell, remember that, Wyn?” Mercedes asked and chuckled with discomfort. “We hadn’t spoken for a while. You were all busy with your new motorcycle gang and I was busy… being angry. It was my birthday and you found out that I wasn’t celebrating it and that everyone had forgotten. It’s not like my family would celebrate such a thing. I don’t know how you found out, but you did. Anyway, you found me before school started and told me that you were taking me on a trip. I was still so mad, but you were relentless. You brought me here and brought us back together again. I was in such a dark place.”

“I know,” Wynonna told her simply. “I knew you were hurting. I’ve always known when you’re hurting, Mercedes.”

The two older girls immediately let go of Nicole and embraced each other. They couldn’t hold on tighter. Mercedes, who Wynonna wouldn’t consider a friend, not because she wasn’t her friend (she was, despite how much Wynonna pushed her away) but because she was so much _more_ than that. And Wynonna, Mercedes’ light and lifeline. They were two broken people who in each other’s arms could finally mend.

Tears were now falling down Nicole’s cheeks. In her seventeen long years, she hadn’t seen a love purer than her friends’. She was used to the basic, conventional, boring friendships or relationships that existed because it was easy. She didn't know that a relationship like theirs existed. They gave her hope.

“Oh, little red, we didn’t mean to make you cry,” Mercedes shouted once she noticed that her other friend was crying.

Wynonna turned around to look at the youngest girl for herself.

“We can’t promise you a normal friendship,” The brunette told the youngest girl. “We are fuck-ups who probably will continue fucking up no matter how much we try not to. I’m crazy and I have alcoholic tendencies. Mercedes is angry and hates most people. We might not be the emotional support that you need.”

Nicole waited for her to continue. But she didn’t.

“ _But_?”

“But what?” Wynonna asked her intensely. “You want _more_ from me? That was more emotion I have given in all the years I’ve been alive.”

“Wynonna is right. When we became friends, she spent most of the time telling me how much she didn’t like me. But then again, I did the same. She wasn’t exaggerating when she said that I hate most people,” Mercedes explained carefully. “But somehow I don’t really hate you. I might even consider you a friend.” She then pretended to gag as if the word disgusted her.

Nicole laughed and replied, “I consider you as a friend, too, Mercedes. I even consider Wynonna a friend even though I heard she doesn’t have any of those. You might be angry and you might be crazy, but I’m lonely. You both are my first friends since Shae. I’m not used to people wanting to be my friend. Just being with you guys… just being…” Sobs engulfed her and she couldn’t continue speaking.

Wynonna and Mercedes shared a brief look before wrapping their arms around their new friend, wanting her to know that they were there for her.

Still piled up in a hug, Mercedes joked, “Wynonna, I can’t believe that you admitted that Haught was your friend after like three days and it took me like six years.”

“Maybe I just like Haughtstuff more than you,” The brunette retorted, a grin on her face.

“I am super cool,” Nicole pointed out. “Earp just thinks I’m the coolest person in Purgatory.”

“Nuh uh,” Wynonna muttered, pulling away from the group immediately. “Nope, I’m done with you both.”

“Shut up, you love us,” Mercedes argued, chasing the brunette around. “Wynonna Earp is secretly a softy!” She screamed into the openness.

“Fuck you!”

“WYNONNA EARP HAS A HEART AND SHE LOVES HER _FRIENDS!_ ” Mercedes shouted again, causing the brunette to hit her mercilessly.

“Don’t listen to her, Haught!” Wynonna told the youngest girl. “I’m really a cold-hearted bitch who just wants to use you both for my diabolical plots.”

Nicole and Mercedes shared an amused look. There was no doubting it any longer. Wynonna Earp was now notorious for three things: sex, drugs, and rock and roll (okay, and maybe loving her friends). 

* * *

Wynonna got home late that night and _wasn’t_ drunk. Waverly was beyond stunned. Though, when she heard that Nicole had gone with the girls on their secretive outing, she felt that there was no need for another explanation.

“Did you already have dinner?” Curtis asked the senior after she told him and Waverly that she, Mercedes, and Nicole had spent the whole afternoon driving (which wasn’t technically a lie).

“Yep,” Wynonna answered before opening the fridge and getting out leftover pizza. “We ate like two hours ago. But you know me. If I don’t eat every few hours I go a little crazy. Okay, a little more crazy than normal.”

Curtis raised his eyebrows and turned to Waverly, looking for an explanation to why his niece wasn’t wasted. When she shrugged, he gave Wynonna a look over to make sure that she really _was_ his niece.

“So, ‘Nonna, did you have a good time? What kind of trouble did you guys get into?” He asked her curiously.

Wynonna sat down at the kitchen table with her uncle and sister and started eating the cold pizza.

“Oh, you know,” She explained between bites. “Strip clubs, frat parties, bar fights, meth dealings, the usual. Guess how many body shots Haught can do.”

Waverly knew that her sister was joking around, but after knowing some of the things that her sister had gotten into in the past, she wouldn’t have been surprised if Wynonna got into any of those things. And the mention of Nicole doing something like that, it made the brunette cringe. These were some of the moments that Waverly thought that Nicole deserved a better friend.

“Please don’t get that poor girl into things like that,” Curtis told his niece, rolling his eyes at her sick sense of humor. “She’s a good one.”

“And I’m not?” Wynonna asked him and raised an eyebrow. She wasn’t offended, exactly. She knew what her family thought about her.

Curtis felt like he backed himself into a corner. He ran his fingers through his thin hair with unease. “You’re a good girl, Wynonna. You have had back luck.”

“Don’t forget all the bad decisions and my moments of insanity,” The older girl corrected bitterly as she turned to her sister and said, “You should be hanging out with people like Haught rather than those assholes that you hang out with, babygirl.”

Waverly felt a twinge of sadness. She wasn’t sure that Nicole would tell Wynonna that they had lunch together, but it was upsetting that she didn’t. It made her almost question if Nicole had feelings for Wynonna. She wouldn’t necessarily blame the girl if she did. Wynonna was gorgeous and dangerous and mysterious. And Waverly thought that she was just… plain and vanilla and a good. Boring.

“Yeah,” The younger Earp told her solemnly. “Maybe I should.”

* * *

 

Nicole was almost excited to be yelled at. She didn’t even tell her parents that she was going to be out this late. Which was new for her.

She never got in trouble. She hoped that being good and following all her parents’ rules would get some attention from them. She was wrong.

She opened the door and expected outrage. She expected her mom screaming at her in her shrilly uncomfortable voice and her dad telling her how much of a disappointment she was. She could hear it in her head and accepted it with a smile.

But when she entered her house, all she found was silence. She walked around the empty house almost expecting a parent to jump out and scare her. But no, she really was alone. In the kitchen, she found a note on the counter. Her parents had gone out for the night and wrote to not expect them until morning. Nicole crushed the note and threw it away.

Her parents were odd. Sometimes they were overbearing in their way that they tried to force things onto her. Like the time her mom signed her up for a pageant or that time her dad set her up with his co-worker’s disgusting son. They wanted her to have the popularity that they had when they were in high school.

Other times, her parents would go for months and practically not say anything to their daughter. Besides sly remarks about her imperfections, her parents would ignore her. That is, if they were actually home. They’d go on extended vacations or long weekends to get away from home. They’d leave their daughter home alone without a second thought. Nicole guessed that her parents regretted having her.

Despite her good grades, her good behavior, and good manners, her parents didn’t think it was enough. Nicole was too ‘different’ for her parents’ liking. She wondered if it was because her parents wanted to still be in high school themselves. Her mom, the health nut who still cared about how she looked more than anything else. And her dad, the car salesmen, who relied on his charismatic smile and popularity to getting sales. They were two people who loved being teenagers and never wanted to grow up. Nicole was their one reminder that they were old. And they blamed her for it.

Nicole grabbed a tub of ice cream and walked to the couch in the living room. The only plus about having absent parents? Never having to share the television.

The redhead laid down on the couch and went to Netflix. It took her a while to make a decision. Sure, she had seen every episode of “Queer Eye,” “One Day at a Time,” and “The Good Place,” but that didn’t mean she couldn’t watch the shows again. And again. And again.

Settling with “Queer Eye,” she watched her feel good show and thought about how much she wanted the Fab Five to fix her life. 

* * *

 

Wynonna crawled up into her bed and waited for sleep to come.

She waited. And waited. And waited. And then remembered that she had insomnia.

The knock at her window startled her, but she knew who it was before she pushed her curtain to the side. She rolled her eyes and opened her window.

“You haven’t replied to any of my texts,” Doc whispered intensely as he watched annoyance run across her face.

“You were the one that told me that you think phones are the ‘demons’ of our generation and will kill us all.”

He chuckled nervously and said, “Well, to be fair, I was high at the time.”

“You’re also an old man stuck in a horny teen’s body,” Wynonna told him spitefully. “What are you doing here, Doc? You’re still in the band if that was what you were worried about. We didn’t kick you out for being a cry baby.”

“Jealousy got the best of me. I apologize. When you get involved, Wynonna, I just lose my mind.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “And that’s supposed to what? Make me feel flattered? Do you think that that line will make me more attracted to you? Make me want to fuck you? Your possessiveness doesn’t make me like you, Holliday.”

His face fell at what he thought were harsh words.

“Well, what do you want me to do, Wynonna? Not have feelings for you? Not wait for you? Not want you?”

She rolled her eyes at him again. “You don’t know what you want, Doc. You think you want me because I don’t want you. I’m just a challenge and a good lay. That’s it. You’re mistaking feelings for horniness. You don’t want to be lonely. I get it.”

He felt anger surge through him, but he pressed it down. He knew how upset Wynonna got when he yelled at her. Instead, he tried a different approach.

“Why can’t you believe that someone has feelings for you?”

She sighed, annoyed that he hadn’t given up yet. “Because if someone really _knew_ me, like really knew me, they wouldn’t have feelings for me.”

All of his anger washed away at her words. Doc Holliday had met a lot of people in his short nineteen years. He’s met a lot of screwed up people who have done screwed up things (he was arguably one of those people). But Wynonna was a whole different breed.

“You can’t truly believe that,” He whispered darkly, not wanting to hear the answer he was expecting. Before giving her a chance to reply, he added, “Your sister loves you. And the way your friend, Mercedes, looks at you. She obviously loves you, Wynonna. Hell, she might even be in love with you. And that other young girl. She’s on her way to loving you, too.”

Wynonna snorted and shook her head. She realized that there was no convincing this stubborn man, apparently.

“Don’t you get it? They don’t understand me, either. They want to, but they don’t really want to know the messed up things I’ve done. They couldn’t handle it.”

“So you’re not even gonna give us a chance, huh? What if we could love you unconditionally? Isn’t that worth the risk?”

“The risk of losing them? No.”

Doc took his hat off and jumped through the window, feeling concerned for the woman in front of him.

“I understand the burden of having secrets, Wynonna Earp. I understand drowning in loneliness. I understand finding comfort only in alcohol. I understand you more than you think. Everyone has done bad things. Only some of us have learned to let them go and forgive ourselves.”

She glared at him again and asked, “Have you let go of the shit that you’ve done? Are you satisfied with who you are and who you’ve become? Don’t you think there are a few things that are unforgivable?”

He slowly walked up to her and got so close that he could feel her breath on him. He didn’t touch her, no he wouldn’t dare. He knew her well enough to know she chose when she wanted to be touched. 

“I know what you’ve done,” He murmured carefully, knowing that he was treading murky waters with where this conversation was going. “I know what happened to your father. I know what happened with your sister. I don’t _care_.”

“Good for you,” She told him, bitterness drowning her voice. “Unfortunately, I do.”

“That’s not what I--”

“I know. Look, Doc. I genuinely don’t hate you. Which is why I have to stop this. I didn’t want you to have feelings. I didn’t want this for you. Can’t we just be friends?”

He opened his mouth to argue but none of his usual words came out. He cared about her. And as much as he wanted to make her his, he knew this wasn’t the way to go. He didn’t want to hurt her or scare her away. She was offering friendship and he knew it was all that she could offer at the time. And for Doc, that was enough. It was worth it if it meant keeping her in his life.

“Friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! If you can, review! Let me know what you are thinking! :)


	8. back to black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole bonds with Jeremy. 
> 
> Waverly talks with Chrissy Nedley. 
> 
> And more band meetings!

The weekend went by quickly, as most weekends did for Waverly. Most of it was spent sleeping, doing homework, and practicing cheerleading. Usually, she liked keeping busy. She didn’t like having too much downtime giving her time to think and contemplate life. Besides, when Wynonna was gone a few years ago, continuously working was what kept her going. She was used to it. 

Her sister, on the other hand, spent her weekend listening and playing music, trying to find specific songs that she thought her band would sound good playing. It was senior year, so she gave up trying to work weeks ago. But then again, she was never that consistent with working. With living in different homes and places, it was hard to keep track of everything. So she eventually just stopped bothering. Life was easier for her that way. 

She also spent a lot of her time talking with Mercedes. It wouldn’t be normal if the redhead hadn’t spent most of her time at the homestead. Any place was better than at her home with her family that she didn’t like. Besides, Mercedes loved Wynonna’s family and they cared about her as well. 

Nicole went back and forth the entire weekend deciding whether or not to text Waverly. About having lunch together or just to talk. But she didn’t want to bother the younger brunette. And she really started to feel guilty about having feelings for one of her best friend’s younger siblings. It definitely felt like she was breaking a friend code. 

Luckily, Jeremy kept her attention away from the girl she constantly had her mind on. The fellow junior texted her about chemistry and they ended up having a long conversation about all the nerdy science fiction shows that they both watched. 

So when Monday came, Nicole chose to eat with Jeremy because it was easier than asking the brunette out to lunch again. 

“I remember watching the “Eureka” and “Warehouse 13” crossover and thinking it was the craziest thing ever,” Jeremy explained as the two of them ate on the floor in a fairly empty hallway. “But then I watched Spike in “Torchwood” and now all of that seems like child’s play.” 

Nicole chuckled, understanding exactly what he meant. “But he didn’t even play Spike in the show! He was totally a different character!”

He shrugged dismissively. “Bisexual, flirty, sassy murderer. I see no difference.” 

She couldn’t disagree. “I think James Marsters can just play that character so well that he just keeps playing it. Not that I can blame him.” 

“God, I loved him so much in Buffy. They just don’t make shows like that anymore. Which, I guess is kind of a good thing. With the whole lack of representation and horrible plot holes.”

“I feel that way about so many of the shows that I used to watch,” Nicole admitted sadly. “They were so remarkable back then but now with shows that actually are starting to have good representation and interesting plot lines, it’s like… why did I like this so much? Actually, I know why. Because of H.G. Wells.” 

Jeremy snorted, understanding what she was saying on a strangely deep level. H.G. Wells on "Warehouse 13" was a non-canon queer fan-favorite. Not just because she was gorgeous. 

“Oh my god, she was iconic. When did you watch those shows?” 

She started thinking about it and frowned. “I watched it with my best friend when I lived in Toronto. She was the one, actually, who got me into all those shows. She was a giant nerd and I guess she turned me into one, too.”

“I have a feeling she didn’t have to try hard to do that, Nicole,” He told her sweetly with an accepting grin on his face. “You seem like a natural nerd to me.” 

“Aw, thanks, Chetri,” She replied sarcastically. 

He grinned at her sheepishly and said, “Hey, it’s a compliment. Only cool people are nerds in my book. Though, I’m guessing that Mercedes Gardner and Wynonna Earp aren’t nerds.”

“No,” Nicole agreed with a slight, uncomfortable chuckle. “They aren’t.” She knew that he still didn’t believe her when she told him that they were cool. “I should introduce you to them sometime. They’re not as scary as they seem.” 

He frowned with uncertainty. “I know that  _ you  _ think they aren’t scary. But  _ they  _ are like the definition of scary. Did you know they have single-handedly won bar fights? Like against big, scary, burly guys.” 

A smile spread across Nicole’s face thinking about the type of dicks they must have hurt. She wasn’t the biggest fan of violence, but she was sure the men deserved it. If, the rumor that Jeremy heard, was true. 

“You can’t believe everything you hear about them,” She told him with a shrug. “They’re different than the rest of them. That means people will talk about them no matter what. True or not. People like to make things up about people they don’t understand.” 

“Are you sure they’re really good people?” 

“Yes, Jeremy. Positive. They’ve been nothing but good friends to me. Other than you, they’ve been the nicest people to me at this school--” 

“Yo, Haught-crossed-buns!” Wynonna interrupted in a yell as she and Mercedes walked toward her in the hallway. “Wanna join us in our free next period?” 

Nicole furrowed her eyebrows and called back, “But we don’t have free periods!” 

The brunette grinned wildly and shouted, “ _ We  _ do. So you in or not?” 

As tempting as it sounded to skip math and hang out with her friends, Nicole shook her head answered, “Next time, Earp!” 

“Your loss!” Mercedes said and the two of them scampered away, off to somewhere they knew they wouldn’t be caught. 

Nicole turned to her friend who raised his eyebrows and said with his eyes, ‘I told you so.’

“I never said they were responsible or good students!”

* * *

 

**Wynonna-fucking-Earp-bitches:** _ Yo, mates, just thinkin maybe we should have > 2 practices a week,,, thoughts?  _

**Gunslinger &ladykiller: ** _ I like your thinking _

**Haught-n-spicy:** _ Sure, do you have days in mind? _

**X. Dolls:** _ If we must. _

**Wynonna-fucking-Earp-bitches:** _ I’m thinking like sat and wed too???  _

**Wynonna-fucking-Earp-bitches:** _ also why does wednesday have a ‘d?’  _

**Wynonna-fucking-Earp-bitches:** _ also why is Dolls’ user so lame?  _

**Haught-n-spicy:** _ to be fair, you made my username… I would have just gone with Nicole… _

**X. Dolls:** _ It’s professional. _

**Gunslinger &ladykiller: ** _ maybe he’s just lame? _

**Wynonna-fucking-Earp-bitches:** _ It’s bORING. Imma change that for you next time. But we are def meeting tmrw right?  _

**Wynonna-fucking-Earp-bitches:** _ also Haught you know you love it ;) _

**Haught-n-spicy:** _ … yes on practice tomorrow _

**X. Dolls:** _ 10-4. _

* * *

 

“Do you ever feel different?” Waverly asked as Chrissy walked her home after a long cheerleading practice. 

“Hmm…” Chrissy murmured quietly, trying to think through the other girl’s question before responding. “Sometimes. But I think that everyone feels that way. I mean, obviously, there are people that are more different than others. But I think everyone feels like they are on the outside. Why? Is there something that specifically makes you feel that way?” 

Waverly didn’t know how to answer that. Out of all of her friends, Chrissy was the one that she felt the most comfortable with. Not that she could necessarily relate to or discuss personal details with her. Chrissy was kind and smart (unlike most of her friends). Talking to her was easy. She was just the kind of girl that everyone loved being around (much like Waverly herself). 

“No,” She lied. “Not really. It’s just… sometimes I get tired of the people we hang out with, you know?” 

Chrissy nodded and admitted, “They’re a little too into themselves. And they sometimes seem like they thrive on drama. But they are also our oldest friends. It’s been me, you, and Stephanie for forever. No one could get between us.” 

“Stephanie would say, ‘except boys.’” 

A soft chuckle fell out of Chrissy’s mouth. “Oh, for sure. And then she would yell at us for being too sappy and to get ourselves a man to occupy our time.” 

“ _ You  _ have a man. A good one at that, Chrissy,” Waverly pointed out with a hesitant grin. 

“That I do,” She replied with uncertainty. “Robin’s sweet. He’s better than all the guys in our grade. No offense.” 

“Huh?”

“Well...” Chrissy said frowning from slight embarrassment. “I’m not trying to say he’s better than Champ…” 

Waverly rolled her eyes and glared at her. “Why would Champ offend me?”

“I’m saying this all wrong!” Chrissy muttered, feeling flustered and worried that she was annoying her friend. “I mean, you and Champ have been in your… on again off again--” 

“Woah, Chris, Champ and I aren’t together!” Waverly interrupted as she grabbed her friend’s arm, stopping them along the sidewalk. “We haven’t been together in like years. We dated in Middle School! And that was because I was too afraid and wimpy to turn him down.”

Chrissy gaped at her, not knowing any of that before now. “Oh. I was under the impression that you guys have been together. I mean, that’s what Champ tells everybody. And Steph always says that you’re in love with him but that you’re trying to play hard to get.”

Waverly growled and started walking again, not handling the anger that went through her. It sort of scared Chrissy who had never seen the girl get angry like this before. Waverly purposefully tried to stay calm so that she wouldn't look hysterical. She thought that if she showed too much emotion, she’d be compared to her sister. But she couldn't help it. She hadn't been  _this_ angry in so long.

“I can’t believe she would do that!” The furious teen shouted as she stormed along the sidewalk with her friend having trouble trailing behind her. “After all these years, she’s still making up shit about me! I. Don’t. Have. Feelings. For. Him. When will everyone understand that?” 

“Waverly!” Chrissy yelled, hoping that she’d get the girl to stop going so fast. “I’m sorry about assuming but can you just stop fast walking! I can’t keep up!” 

The younger Earp stopped and turned around. She knew that it wasn’t Chrissy’s fault. She knew the girl well enough to know that she would never say something like that unless she truly thought that it was factual. She took a deep breath. 

“I’m sorry,” Waverly apologized, tears bubbling up in her eyes. “I didn’t mean to blow up at you like that. I’m just tired of the stupid shit that is said about me. I thought-- I thought I was able to prevent it.” 

Chrissy frowned, sad that her friend was going through something that she didn’t even realize was happening. 

“What do you mean, Waverly?”

Waverly shook her head. She didn’t want to burden her friend with the dirty truth that she spent years creating an impenetrable facade. She never told anyone about it. Especially not her friends who she spent years trying to cozy up to as to appear ‘normal.’ 

“Nothing. Sorry. I’m on my period--”

“No,” Chrissy interrupted suddenly and put her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “No, Waverly. It’s obvious something is bothering you. You can tell me. We’re friends. We’ve been friends for years. You can tell me anything.” 

Waverly knew that she probably could. She knew that maybe she could even alleviate the pain that she was feeling by telling Chrissy. She even felt the sudden urge to tell her about her budding feelings about the redhead that she kept thinking about. But she knew it was too much of a risk. She didn’t want to ruin the life she had built herself by telling her friend a few secrets.

“I just-- I just don’t want people to keep thinking that I like Champ. He might be the captain of the football team, but he’s not all that.” 

Chrissy almost didn’t believe her. The confession seemed too simple. But then she remembered that Waverly was the most trustworthy person she knew and that the girl had no reason to lie. 

“Then I swear I won’t mention him again! But maybe you should tell  _ him _ that. Someone has to remind him that he’s not a god.” 

“I would, but…”  _ But that sounded like something Wynonna would do.  _ “But I don’t think I could do that.” 

“I know, Waverly Earp. You’re too kind. Maybe too kind for your own good.”

* * *

 

Nicole met Jeremy for lunch on Tuesday as well. As much as she wanted to hang out with the younger Earp, she felt comfortable around the boy. She always had a difficult time making friends, so easily conversing with him felt like a relief. Her friendship with him was different than the kind she had with Wynonna and Mercedes. They understood her differently. The girls understood her desire for freedom, her necessity to be loved, and her feelings for girls and rock music. Jeremy, on the other hand, shared her taste in literature, movies, and shows and understood her hope to be accepted. 

“Whatcha listening to, Chetri?” Nicole asked as she sat down next to him and looked over at his laptop. He didn’t hear her, but his screen answered her question. He was composing music. She poked him and he jumped, taking off his headphones. 

“Woah, Nicole! Didn’t anyone ever tell you to not scare a fraidy-cat?” 

“You’re writing music? Jeremy, that’s so cool. Can I listen?” 

He frowned, unsure if he should share something so personal with a girl he only knew for a few weeks. But then again, the girl  _ was  _ in a band. If there was anyone that would actually appreciate his talents, he knew it would be her. 

“Yeah, but listen to one I’ve finished. I only started this one last night. What genre do you want to listen to? I’ve written classical, jazz, rock…” 

“Rock!” Nicole answered excitedly. 

He found a song that he had finished and passed her his headphones. Nicole put them on and her life changed. It wasn’t the normal kind of music that you’d expect. There weren’t any vocals, but it was full of rock vibes that she could only relate to Gary Clark Jr. and Bruce Springsteen. Bluesy, but full of guitar riffs and complex rhythms. 

When the song was over, she pulled off her headphones and muttered, “You’re a genius, Jeremy. This is fantastic! If you hear a band play, could you add different sounds that would make the sound more full?” 

A grin spread across his face. He couldn’t believe that she was this impressed. “Yeah, I do! Sometimes there are songs that I listen to where I add different sounds just to make it more interesting.” 

A thought entered Nicole’s head and she felt very sure about it. She told him seriously, “You should join my band.” 

His eyes widened, surprised that she would do that. He was flattered. Of course, he was flattered. He just didn’t know if he could join a band. Especially a band full of people he didn’t know (and was slightly afraid of). 

“Oh. Uh, I don’t know about that. I don’t know how much help I would actually be…” 

“You could help our sound. When we’ve practiced, it sounds like we all are playing, just not together. It’s not cohesive. Like we’re still missing something. Or someone like you.” 

He still gaped at her, not understanding why she was being so nice. 

“But the other people in your band… they must mind. They don’t know me.” 

Nicole’s face fell. She hadn’t thought about that. Then again, Wynonna invited Doc to be apart of the band with an audition. Maybe she could convince the older girl to do the same thing for Jeremy. It would only be fair. 

“But they will know you once I introduce you to them. If you’re not interested, that’s okay. But don’t worry about my bandmates. If you want this, I can talk to them.” 

Jeremy was torn. He really enjoyed Nicole’s company and thought that if she liked these people then they couldn’t be too bad. But he was worried. He wasn’t used to being very social. Especially not with people who he didn’t think he could relate to. But then again, he liked the idea of spending time with people out of school. He liked the idea of having a group of people to play music with. He liked the idea of not being lonely. 

“Okay. Talk to them. But don’t force it on them. If they aren’t interested in me then we can just let it be.” 

She nodded happily and gave him a squeeze on the arm. She was excited to have another member of the band on her side.

* * *

 

“Who the hell is Jeremy Chetri?” Wynonna asked the younger redhead after Nicole explained that she wanted them to hear another potential person for their band. 

“He’s a friend of mine!” The junior told the brunette (and everyone else that was in the garage). “He’s so talented and such a good person. I think he’d really change things here. He knows music better than anyone.” 

“He goes to our school?” Mercedes asked, who sat on a bean bag chair she specifically brought so that she had a place to sit where we practiced. 

Nicole nodded and answered, “He’s in my grade. He only moved to Purgatory a little while ago too. He definitely doesn’t run in your circles. Which is why you probably haven’t met him.” 

“Oh, is he the nerd that you eat lunch with?” Wynonna questioned curiously. 

The younger girl rolled her eyes and murmured, “Yes. But he’s cool. I can vouch for him, alright? Let him audition.” 

“Yeah, ‘Nonna, let him audition!” Mercedes shouted playfully as she put her sunglasses on and laid back on the bag, grinning wildly. 

“It would only be fair,” Doc pointed out with a shrug. “You asked me to audition, Wynonna. I believe she could ask for the same thing.” 

Nicole raised her eyebrows, surprised that the young cowboy backed her up instead of the woman that he was obviously interested in. 

“Just let him audition tomorrow so that we can stop talking about it and actually play,” Dolls stated to the group, looking bored and slightly agitated. 

“Fine,” Wynonna gave in and turned the mic on. “Tell him to come tomorrow. But we won’t let him in if he sucks. No matter how good of a person he is, okay, Haught?” 

“Yeah, totally!” Nicole agreed happily, just glad that they said that it was okay. “So what song are we going to play first?” 

It took them a while to come up with a song that all of them knew (it became apparent that Dolls did not listen to the same amount of rock music as the others). They surprisingly finally settled on Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “Dani California.” As much as the four people loved the song, they just weren’t getting it right. Their sound didn’t match the song. It frustrated them to no end. 

After hours of trying to play it ‘just right,’ Mercedes stood up and yelled, “Just stop! Just stop playing this goddamn song! Look, it’s not your playing that’s bad. It’s just that you’re trying too hard to sound like something you’re not. Wynonna, sing “Closer.” It fits your voice so well.” 

Wynonna stared at Mercedes, surprised that Mercedes would want her to sing a song that they both loved. It was one of ‘their’ songs. One of the songs that pulled them together and helped them hold on tightly to each other. It was sacred, in an odd way. 

The redhead could tell her best friend seemed unsure. To convince her, she told her, “Wyn, it’s fine. Just sing it. You all know it, right?” 

“The Kings of Leon song?” Dolls asked. 

At Mercedes’ nod, Nicole muttered, “The song that’s literally about Purgatory. If Purgatory was full of vampires. Which wouldn’t be crazy.” 

“Yeah,” Doc murmured, nodding his head in agreement. “Looking at the old folk and knowin’ the stupid old stories, in this town, I wouldn’t be surprised if a few blood-sucking fiends lurked in this town.”

Dolls rolled his eyes, annoyed with the man with what he deemed as a silly hat. “Vampires don’t exist, Holliday.” 

“Oh, so you’re an expert on the supernatural now, are ya?” Doc retorted almost aggressively. 

The three girls shared a mixed look of exasperation and amusement. 

To interrupt the inevitable arguing, Nicole started to play the piano, causing both boys to go silent. They joined in and Wynonna started to sing. 

_ “ _ _ Stranded in this spooky town _

_ Stoplights are swaying and the phone lines are down _

_ Floor is crackling cold _

_ She took my heart, I think she took my soul _

_ With the moon I run _

_ Far from the carnage of the fiery sun _

_ Driven by the strangle of vein _

S _ howing no mercy, I'd do it again _

_ Open up your eyes _

_ You keep on crying, baby, I'll bleed you dry _

_ Skies are blinking at me _

_ I see a storm bubbling up from the sea _

_ And it's coming closer _

_ You who shimmy shook my bone _

_ Leaving me stranded all in love on my own _

_ Do you think of me? _

_ Where am I now? Baby, where do I sleep? _

_ Feels so good, but I'm old _

_ Two thousand years of chasing taking its toll _

_ And it’s coming closer” _

On its own, “Closer” was the kind of song that could already give you the shivers. The song was dark and mysterious even before Wynonna’s husky, Norah Jones, type voice bled the words out of her throat. 

It was the kind of performance where everyone was slightly turned on but also concerned that they were turned on. 

Mercedes stood up and said, “Can I just say… wowza.” 

The group broke out into laughter and smiles, just glad that something finally worked for them. For the first time, they really felt like a band. All thanks to Mercedes, who, unspokenly became an honorary member. 

Interrupting the sweet moment, a car pulled into the driveway. Dolls immediately got up and stood in front of Wynonna. 

“You all need to go,” Dolls told the group intensely. “Leave, now. I can deal with this.” 

“What the fuck?” Mercedes hushed loudly as she jumped up and stood next to Nicole. She turned to the younger redhead and asked, “What’s going on?” 

Nicole shrugged and watched closely as a middle-aged man got out of his car, tossed his cigarette, and crushed it with his foot. He was lanky and disgusting. The youngest girl wondered if this was the infamous ‘Ian’ that Dolls referenced when he warned them about practicing here. 

“Well, well, well,” The man said as he approached the group. “If it isn’t Miss Wynonna Earp. Mary told me that she was letting you lot use  _ my  _ garage. Ain’t you turning into a pretty girl? Grew up, didn’t you?” 

“They were just leaving,” Dolls yelled out harshly, walking up to the man so that he couldn’t move closer to Wynonna. “Let them leave, Mr. Bulshar.” 

The man chuckled eerily before replying, “I thought your parents raised you better, Xavier. I remember you. Always trying to talk to little Wynie. How’d that work out for you?” 

Nicole was scared. Mercedes grabbed her hand and she held on tight. Both of them kept their eyes on Wynonna, who kept her tough face on. But they noticed how her breathing quickened and eyes bulged.

“Mr. Bulshar,” Doc interrupted with a smile on his face as he approached the older man. “Let the ladies leave and we can work something out. If you wouldn’t like us to use this garage, that would be alright. We can find a new space.” 

“No, no, no, it’s quite alright, boy. I’d love to get a few glimpses of my little girl here. And if Mary says it’s alright…” 

Nicole had a very bad feeling about this man. She needed them to leave. Knowing that Dolls and Doc were right in front of the man, she pulled Mercedes and Wynonna along and led them out of the garage. 

“Don’t leave me now, Wynonna!” Mr. Bulshar called out as the three of them fast-walked to Mercedes’ car. “I’ll see you soon! I’ll tell Ian how good you’re lookin’!” 

“Drive, drive, drive,” Wynonna murmured as they all jumped into the car. She stared out the front of the windshield so that she wasn’t looking at him. 

Mercedes practically sped back to the homestead, disregarding all the speed signs and red lights. She was horrified and worried. 

None of them said a word until Mercedes parked and they all got out of the car. The older redhead pulled Wynonna to the side and demanded, “Who the  _ fuck  _ was that guy? And why was he all creepy with you?” 

Detached and seemingly disaffected, Wynonna answered with a shrug and simple answer. “He was just my foster father. When I was thirteen and fourteen.” 

Mercedes glared at her and said, “You never told me you were staying in a foster home, Wynonna. We were friends since you were twelve. I know I didn’t come to the homestead until a few years ago, but--” 

“We weren’t close, Mer,” Wynonna defended herself. “What the hell was I supposed to say? Everything else was bad enough around me. I didn’t want to give you another reason to stop hanging out with me.” 

The older redhead took a step back, horrified that the brunette had thought so little of her. 

“I was there for you in the beginning,” She whispered, tears filling her eyes. “I didn’t leave you once. Not with the mental health scares. Not with the illegal activities. Not when you did all that you could to push me away. I stayed.” 

Wynonna bit her lip, knowing that she was upsetting her friend. “Mercedes… I was… I didn’t mean to keep it from you. I didn’t mean to burden you with this--”

“Burden me with this?” Mercedes voice cracked as tears ran down her cheek furiously. “I’m your fucking friend, Wyn! Of course you’re supposed to burden me with your shit. That’s what friends do. Why can’t you let me in?” 

The brunette was lost for words. “I don’t… I don’t…”

“Just forget it, Wynonna. Forget it.” Mercedes turned to Nicole and said, “You coming or staying, little red?” 

The youngest girl was torn. Part of her wanted to stay so that she could hang out with Wynonna’s family (and to see Waverly) but the other part of her knew that Mercedes needed someone. Even though she felt a little guilty about abandoning Wynonna, she followed the other redhead into the car. 

“You didn’t have to come,” Mercedes murmured as she started the car. “But thank you. I’m sorry for getting all emotional on you.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Nicole promised her. “I should have told you. I knew something was off about that place. But she wouldn’t tell me. And Dolls was less than forthcoming.” 

Mercedes snorted and replied, “I’m sure. Wynonna Earp is an enigma. I’ve known her for years and I still haven’t figured her out.”

“That’s not your fault,” Nicole pointed out solemnly, knowing how secretive the brunette was. “I think she wants it that way. So, do you want to go to get ice cream?”

* * *

 

The two of them spent the next few hours talking about music and the horrors of Purgatory as they had multiple servings of ice cream. As they talked about a teacher that Nicole has and Mercedes had, the younger girl received a text. 

**Waverly:** _ did something happen at the rehearsal today? Nonna seemed off and you and Mercedes didn’t have dinner with us. Is everything okay?  _

“Is that Waverly?” Mercedes asked her, raising an eyebrow curiously. 

Nicole’s eyes widened. She stuttered, “How-- how’d you know it w-was Waverly?” 

Mercedes snorted and took a bite of her friend’s ice cream. “Because you get a dopey looking face when you see her. Just like the face you just made there when you saw who sent you the text.” 

The junior frowned and dropped her spoon, surprised that Mercedes had noticed something that she thought she carefully kept to herself. 

A sly grin spread across the older redhead’s face and she told her, “Don’t worry, little red. Your secret is safe with me. If it makes you feel better, I think you two would be a good match. You two are the purest girls I’ve ever known. And I think Wynonna would like you with her rather than Champ Hardy, the dick.” 

A nervous chuckle fell out of Nicole’s mouth at the reference of Champ being a dick. But all joking aside, she was stunned by how supportive her friend was. Especially since it was Mercedes’ best friend’s sister. 

“Thank you,” The younger girl declared confidently. “I know you don’t have to say that--”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mercedes interrupted with a playful eye roll. “Just reply to your girl, okay? I understand.” 

Nicole realized that the older girl really did seem to understand. Which seemed almost odd. It made her wonder if possibly she wasn’t the only one that had feelings for an Earp. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof that was a complex chapter. Sorry bout that, folks. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading! If you can, please review! It makes me super happy :)
> 
> Also, come hit me up on tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay or twitter @chaoticpeacemkr


	9. i like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Wynonna and Mercedes' fallout.
> 
> And Jeremy auditions.

Not wanting to reveal too much information (she didn't know how much the senior wanted her sister to know), Nicole explained to Waverly that Wynonna and Mercedes had a spat and that feelings were hurt on both sides. When she got home, the younger Earp asked if Nicole thought that the friends would be able to make up. 

**Haught-n-spicy:** _ I hope so. I’ll try to make sure they don’t end their friendship.  _

**Waverly:** _ It must have been serious then. I think Wyn just snuck out. Is she still seeing Doc?  _

**Haught-n-spicy:** _ Nah. I don’t think so. Doc’s way too out of her league.  _

**Waverly:** _ there’s more to this story, isn’t there? Is Wynonna keeping things from me? _

Nicole was torn. On one hand, Waverly probably should know that something is seriously wrong with the foster family and Wynonna refusing to use another space to practice. On the other hand, Nicole didn’t feel like it was her place to tell. Especially when she was sure if Wynonna didn’t tell Waverly, then she wouldn’t want Waverly to know. 

**Haught-n-spicy:** _yes but idk how much to tell you. Let me t alk to Wynonna first, alright? I think you should know, but I don’t want to step on her toes either. _

**Waverly:** _ I understand. Thanks for being honest with me <3 _

**Waverly:** _ Also what is with your user?  _

**Haught-n-spicy:** _ Ugh your sister made it for me. I’m too lazy to change it.  _

**Waverly:** _ Maybe you just like it and you are too afraid to admit it… :) _

**Haught-n-spicy:** _ … :( you sound too much like your sister rn _

**Waverly:** _ Sorry Nicole! ;) _

**Waverly:** _ And hey! It’s my turn to take you out to lunch! I want to take you to one of my favorite places! _

Nicole squealed and jumped up and down in her room. She was so worried about asking Waverly out to lunch again, and now it felt like she had no reason to be. 

**Haught-n-spicy:** _ We should! Let me know when you want to! We can also do weekends! I’d hate to leave my friend at lunch.  _

**Waverly:** _ Of course! Sunday?  _

**Haught-n-spicy:** _ It’s a date! _

Nicole hit send before she could stop herself. 

**Haught-n-spicy:** _ not a date! A shared meal! A get together, you could say! A friendly outing! Or just lunch! _

Luckily, Waverly replied quickly enough so that Nicole’s anxiety didn’t go through the roof. 

**Waverly:** _ the rambling is cute and all but it is all so unnecessary, cutie! You could have just stopped at ‘date!’ _

Nicole sighed with relief and crashed on her bed.  _ She hadn’t ruined everything. She hadn’t ruined everything and she was going on a ‘date’ with Waverly Earp.  _ Those were the words she repeated in her head until she fell asleep. 

* * *

 

Mercedes opened her front door and found her siblings in the living room. Tucker was perched on the window seal with his night vision binoculars staring out the window. Beth was praying and murmuring something to herself. Neither teen looked up to see her sister, and Mercedes was glad. She was not interested in having a conversation with her voyeur brother or god obsessed sister. 

She quickly tiptoed up the stairs toward her room. She opened the door to find that it wasn’t empty. Wynonna was sitting on her bed staring at a framed picture of the two of them in her hands. 

“I want to ask how you got in here,” The redhead whispered bitterly. “But I don’t think I want to know.” 

Wynonna looked up and her eyes found her friend’s. Mercedes could tell immediately that the brunette had been crying. Her face was red and her eyes were puffy. It wasn’t a sight that she got to see often, but she knew it well enough. She felt a desire to run over to her and wrap her up in a hug, but she had to remind herself that she was angry. Instead, she stood up straighter and stiffer and crossed her arms. 

“I couldn’t sleep,” The invader croaked. “I came here right away. You’ve been gone for some time. Did… did Nicole--” 

“She bought me some ice cream,” Mercedes interrupted coldly. “She, you know, was there for me and listened. Like friends should.” 

The brunette stared with her lips quivering, her body shaking, and her tears falling. She had learned how to become disaffected. She learned how to stop caring. She learned how to shrug away everything that hurt her. But she couldn’t scoff at this. 

“You know I-I’m there for you. I’m always there.” 

And she knew it was true. Mercedes knew that if she was hurting or in trouble or needing help, the other girl would be there right by her side no questions asked. But that wasn’t the problem. 

“Do you trust me?” 

That was like a punch in the stomach for Wynonna. 

“You know that you’re one of the only people I  _ do  _ trust.” At Mercedes' lack of a reaction, the brunette realized that her answer wasn’t sufficient. “I was thirteen, Mer. I just got out of the looney bin. You were the one person that wasn’t afraid of talking to me. I couldn’t risk scaring you away.” 

The girl uncrossed her arms and felt a twinge of sympathy for her best friend. She understood Wynonna’s thought process. She believed her when she said she was afraid of risking it. But the excuse wasn’t  _ enough.  _

“Then tell me, Wyn,” Mercedes pleaded and finally approached her friend on her own bed. “Tell me who the fuck that man was and why you thought it was a good idea to go back there.” 

The brunette wanted to spill everything. But ever since she was twelve, she was taught to keep things in. It was easier that way. For everyone. Besides, even if she wanted to, the words wouldn’t form in her mouth. She spent years putting those memories in their own separate boxes in her head. She didn’t know what other atrocities she would find if she started opening them.

“He was a creep,” Wynonna answered as vaguely as he could. “He’d watch me sometimes. He was a little mean to his wife. You know, the typical gross man. But his kid played music. Played in the garage all the time. I knew that there was a space we could play there.” 

Mercedes didn’t know whether or not to believe her. She wanted to believe her. Wynonna never lied to her. But this… this didn’t feel like the whole story. It didn’t even feel like it was a sliver of it. 

“And?” 

“Mercedes…” 

The redhead flinched at Wynonna’s tone. It was as if it pained the brunette to talk about what she went through. But Mercedes was still frustrated. She leaned over, tipped Wynonna’s chin upward, and kissed her. 

She could taste the brunette’s tears (and the familiar tobacco and whiskey). She wanted to linger there, forever, if she could. But she moved away before the kiss deepened. 

“Does this…" Mercedes asked as she picked up the photo from Wynonna and looked at the picture of them two snuggling on a couch. "Does this mean nothing to you?” 

Wynonna stared at her with disbelief. “Of course it doesn’t. You mean… Mercedes, me not being able to talk about it… it has nothing to do with you.” 

Mercedes rolled her eyes and muttered, “Please don’t tell me you're going to do the whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ schtick. You always try to stay away from cliches.” 

“I can’t tell you,” the brunette whispered shakily. “Even if I wanted to, I can’t. I don’t… I don’t want to think about it. I-I’m sorry. You deserve better. A better friend. A better--”

“Stop,” Mercedes commanded suddenly. “I don’t want your pity party, Wyn. I want you to be okay. I want you to be able to tell me because you trust me and want me to know everything about you. I want you to realize that I’m not going to run, no matter what you say. I want you to be sure of how I… how I feel about you. But I can’t force you. I know that now. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Wynonna.”

The brunette shook her head and told her, “Don’t be sorry. You did nothing wrong.” She then pulled her friend into an embrace. It was almost a tackle, but the hug was nothing short of loving.

“Stay here,” Mercedes begged her as they moved so that their heads were on the pillows and their limbs were intertwined. “Please, Wynonna, stay the night. I need you.” 

The other girl rested her head on the redhead’s chest and whispered, “I’ll stay as long as you want me.”

* * *

 

Wynonna woke up early so that she could get home before her sister would wake up. She looked at Mercedes sleep peacefully and smiled at the way the redhead’s nose twitched as she steadily breathed in and out. Even though she didn’t want to wake the woman up from her restful slumber, she knew that Mercedes would be angry if she didn’t say goodbye. 

“Mercedes,” She whispered gently as she rubbed her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “I have to go.” 

“Mmmm,” Mercedes groaned and held her hand out, reaching for the brunette. “Don’t leave. Get in the bed. It’s all cold without you.” 

Wynonna grasped her hand for a second before letting go. “I know. I want to stay. But Waverly is going to be worried if she doesn’t find me when she goes to wake me up.” 

“Can’t you just text her and we can just go somewhere? Skip class and hang out somewhere?” 

“I would love to, Mer, but I’m about to fail a class if I don’t go to it again. And I’d like to get my High School diploma. Because then all this shit would’ve been for nothing.” 

Mercedes grunted, “Ugh, fine. You’ll meet me for lunch, though, right?” 

“Of course,” Wynonna promised her. “Besides, we’re going to have to talk about what could happen with this dude that Haught wants us to meet. I’ll see you later, okay?” 

“Bye, ‘Nonna,” Mercedes said as Wynonna left through her window.

* * *

 

“So,” Waverly mentioned as casually as she could as her sister drove her to school (after convincing her sister to drive her so that the younger girl didn’t tell her aunt and uncle that Wynonna was out all night long). “Do you want to talk about what kept you out all night?” 

The older girl grunted, peeved that she had to do this. She got into the house only a few minutes after Waverly’s alarm went off. She was so close to making it back in time. 

“Have you wondered if maybe you don’t want to know what I did all last night?” Wynonna asked her younger sister with an annoyed shrug. She didn’t  _ actually  _ do anything wrong last night, but she just wanted to get her sister off her case. 

Waverly narrowed her eyes at her sister and tried to tell if the older girl was serious or not. It had gotten to be hard to tell when the girl was or wasn't sincere. For different stretches of time, it seemed like the older Earp would have done anything  _ to  _ get in trouble. But now wasn’t one of those times. 

“I worry about you, ‘Nonna. But you know that already. I just think that you could be so much better. I know the world hasn’t given you a fair chance, but if you wanted, I think you could make things better for yourself.” 

“If this is your nice way for telling me to stop drinking alcohol or having sex I don’t want to hear it, baby girl,” Wynonna told her bluntly. 

Waverly rolled her eyes and sighed. “I’ve given up on that, Wynonna. I’m just saying, you should give yourself more credit. You could turn your life around if you wanted to. You have people that believe in you now.” 

“Look, girlie,” The senior muttered as she pulled into the school parking lot and turned off the car. She turned to look at her sister, her eyes never leaving the younger girls’. “I love you. I love everything about you. You are one of the few constants in my life that keep me going. You are… you’re perfect, alright? But just because you have become this epitome of good doesn’t mean I have to as well. You might have dug yourself out of the Earp curse of perpetual drunkenness and despair, but that doesn’t mean that I will or have the capabilities to. I don’t want to  _ be  _ you. As great as you are.” 

It wasn’t a secret that Waverly had been separated from the Earp name. In fact, not many people associated her with Wynonna or her family at all. It took a lot of time and effort from her to create that cushiony problem-free lifestyle. She was different than Wynonna. Plain and simple. She was the light to her dark and everyone knew it. And yet-- when the older girl said it out loud, it changed things. It reminded them how different their lives were (and probably always will be). 

Waverly hadn’t taken into an account before now how much it must have hurt Wynonna to have her sister being known as the saint while she is chastised for being the devil. But Wynonna knew how hard it must have been to be the crazy girl’s younger sibling. To grow up with dirty assumptions already established about you. The older sister didn’t blame Waverly for the personality that the girl had to develop to become liked. 

“I’m sorry,” Waverly whispered as if she was almost ashamed with herself. “I didn’t mean to make you think-- I love you just for who you are, Wynonna. You’re my sister. I don’t want you to change yourself. And I don’t want you to think that I want you to change.” 

“Though, I bet you want me to stop drinking and fucking.” 

The sophomore chuckled and replied, “I’d like for you to be safe and happy. And while you can keep denying it, I don’t think getting wasted and having sex with random people makes you happy.”

“Tell that to my vag--”

“NO!” Waverly yelled and put her fingers in her ears to stop herself from hearing whatever Wynonna was going to say next. “I do not want to hear it.” 

The senior grinned at her sister and said, “I love you, baby girl. But you gotta learn how to hear body parts and not freak out. I know the pastor would say differently, but ‘vagina’ isn’t a sinful word. Sex isn’t all bad.” 

“I know,” Waverly squeaked, her face reddening. “I just don’t want to talk about this with my sister. Don’t you have friends to talk about this with?” 

“Uh, do you? I certainly know your friend Ste--whatcha-ma-whosit is very sex-positive. Is there a person on the basketball team that she hasn’t slept with?” 

Waverly glared at her sister and corrected, “ _ Stephanie  _ you mean? And yeah, pretty much.”  

“Tell me again why you’re friends with that bitch?” 

The younger girl sighed and replied, “We’ve been friends for like forever now. I don’t want to cause drama by not talking to her anymore. I know you can hardly believe it, Wynonna, but some people don’t enjoy starting fights.” 

“Fine, but you shouldn’t be hanging around a person who makes you unhappy. You should hang out with people like Haught.” 

Waverly felt her heart beat a little faster once Nicole’s name was mentioned. Her stomach churned and she said, “You guys are together so often that I wouldn’t even get a chance to hang out with her.” 

Wynonna shrugged and said, “I don’t like to share. Besides, I said someone  _ like  _ Haught. It doesn’t have to be her.” 

The younger girl deflated at the idea of Wynonna _having_ Nicole. She knew that ‘not wanting to share’ was probably a joke, but it still made her want to hit her sibling. She didn’t know why she felt so jealous. It was frustrating. 

“Don’t tell Mercedes that,” Waverly said changing the subject away from herself. “She’ll get jealous. Unless… are you two still fighting?” 

“Who said we were fighting?” Wynonna asked, startled that her younger sister knew that they were going through something. 

The sophomore didn’t want to tell her that Nicole was the one who spilled the tea, so she gently fibbed, “Nobody. I knew when Mercedes didn’t have dinner with us. And you were in a terrible mood last night. I put two and two together.” 

“Great detective work, Veronica Mars.” 

Waverly glared at her sister again before saying, “I gotta head to class now. Do you have a rehearsal today?” 

“I do. Gonna hear one of Haught’s friends play. So it should be interesting.” 

“When are you going to let me come to one of these?” The younger Earp asked. 

Wynonna shrugged (immediately thought 'never') and answered, “Soon, baby girl. When we have everything settled.” 

Waverly believed her sister and said goodbye without a second thought. This left Wynonna alone in her car, feeling slightly guilty about lying to her sister. But she shook away those guilty feelings and remembered that there was no way she’d ever let her sister near her previous foster home.

* * *

“They said yes?” Jeremy asked, stunned about what his friend had just announced as she joined him for lunch. At her excited nod, he said, “Are you sure? You didn’t let them think I’m this great musician, right? I just dabble, Nicole. I’m not very good.” 

“Don’t even say that,” She told him as she bit into her sandwich. “You are freaking unbelievable, Jeremy. They’ll probably need a little convincing, but I am sure that they will see what I see. An incredible asset to our band.” 

He grinned sheepishly. He was a nervous wreck, but it was easier with someone who genuinely seemed to believe in him. Before he got a chance to tell her so, she received a text. 

**Wynonna-fucking-Earp-bitches:** _ Haughtpants, Mer and I both brought cars today so you are gonna have to pick between us _

**Chaotic Bitch:** _ I’m just quaking thinking about who she will pick _

**Chaotic Bitch:** _ this is where we find out who she likes more _

Mercedes smiled at the texts, not just amused by the words, but thrilled that they seemed to have made up.

**Haught-n-spicy:** _ It won’t just be me. Jeremy is coming too.  _

**Wynonna-fucking-Earp-bitches:** _ not it! _

**Chaotic Bitch:** _ pass! _

**Wynonna-fucking-Earp-bitches:** _ I guess it’s final then...Haught, youre walkin there _

**Haught-n-spicy:** _ Assholes! I’m coming with you, Mercedes _

**Chaotic Bitch:** _ HA! LOOK AT THAT, W! SHE LIKES ME MORE _

**Chaotic Bitch:** _ And change your user, Wyn. you fucking copied me dick _

**Wynonna-fucking-Earp-bitches:** _ bitch,,, she just picked you bc you are less scary _

**Wynonna-fucking-Earp-bitches:**   _she def likes me more_

**Wynonna-fucking-Earp:** _ and fine asshole _

“Sorry,” Nicole said as she turned her phone off. “We’re riding with Mercedes today. I thought she would be easier to talk with than Wynonna. Though, she is a bit standoffish when you first meet her. She should be fine. I can mediate.” 

“You’re not helping my anxiety, Nicole,” He told her honestly. “What if they hate me? I’m sure I’m not like most people that they hang out with.” 

She understood his fears. Hell, they were her own fears at the beginning too. But even in the span of a week, she knew that the two girls were more accepting than most people at their school. Now, she wasn’t sure how Doc or Dolls would interact with him (but then again she wasn’t sure of them herself). 

“Look, I’m pretty different, too, and they accept me. And Dolls and Doc aren’t like two guys I have ever met before. They may not be nerds, but they aren’t burnouts. They’re… they are outcasts.” 

Jeremy took that into consideration and said, “Like us?” 

Unfortunately, she agreed. 

“Yeah,” She whispered sadly. “Like us.”

* * *

 

Mercedes was waiting in the car when Jeremy and Nicole approached it. The younger redhead gave him a supportive smile before she opened the door. 

“Hey, Mercedes,” Nicole said as she sat down in the passenger seat. She looked back at Jeremy who looked like he was a deer caught in headlights. “This is my friend Jeremy Chetri. Jeremy, this is Mercedes Gardner.” 

“Sup,” Mercedes muttered and then put her sunglasses on. “We ready to hit it?” 

“Yeah, yep. Sure. If you’re ready, of course,” Jeremy babbled awkwardly. 

Mercedes snorted and looked at her friend by her side. She promised the girl she would give him a chance at ice cream yesterday, but she didn’t know how long she would be able to pretend like she was someone she wasn’t. 

She turned on her music and played the album “Dirty Computer.” She wanted to see how the boy in the back would react to the music. A few minutes into the silent drive, she looked back and saw that Jeremy was actually mouthing the words to “Crazy, Classic, Life.” She had to admit, she was surprised. 

When she heard him audibly sing “Screwed,” Mercedes gasped out of shock. Luckily for her, no one heard. When Nicole joined in and they harmonized, she almost stopped the car. She couldn’t believe what was happening. But then, she gave up trying to remain cold joined in with their singing. 

After they got out of the car, Mercedes pulled the other redhead to the side and said, “I give my approval.” 

Nicole snorted and asked, “Because he knows Janelle Monae?” 

“Because he isn’t afraid to show that he obviously  _ really  _ knows Janelle Monae. Because he sang about fucking people without hesitating.”

The younger girl smiled and gave the other girl a pat on her shoulder. “Thanks, Gardner.” 

“Eh,” Mercedes shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “Just don’t tell him. Or Wynonna for that matter.” 

Jeremy was already shaking Dolls’ hand when Nicole and Mercedes joined the rest of the group in the garage. 

“I go by Dolls,” The older boy told him as their hands pulled apart. 

“Wow,” Jeremy said as he grinned at the boy with awe. “Going by your last name makes it seem like you’re like an agent or something. I feel like only really cool kids are called by their last names.” 

“Oh, he’s not very cool,” Doc intervened charismatically as he shook the younger boy’s hand. “John Henry Holliday. But all my friends call me Doc. It’s good to meet you, Jeremy.” 

Everyone else knew he was being all friendly to get more attention than Dolls, but the youngest boy didn’t notice. 

“You have awesome facial hair!” Jeremy complimented happily. “And a cool hat. How long has it taken for you to get this cowboy aesthetic look?” 

“He was born like that,” Wynonna interrupted slyly. “Basically came out of the womb screeching ‘yeehaw.’”

Doc rolled his eyes and told the boy, “Wynonna is joking, of course. It’s taken a couple of years. It’s mostly because it’s the cheapest I could find at Goodwill when my father kicked me out of the house. I’m just used to it now.”

“I’ve been thinking about growing a mustache myself,” Jeremy informed the older boy perkily. “Do you think it would look good on me?” 

Doc being Doc put on his most charming smile and said, “Of course it would. I can show you how to groom it once it has gro--”

“As much fun as it is hearing about your facial hair, are we going to play music?” Wynonna asked agitatedly, causing both Nicole and Mercedes to glare at her. “What? You’re mad at me because I want to play music? This is a band, you know.” 

A little terrified, Jeremy pulled out his laptop and announced, “I’ve been working on the arrangement of the song “Life in the Doorway” by The Moth and The Flame. Nicole already told me that you all know the song. Doc, can you read lead sheet symbols?”

“Lead sheet who now?” Doc asked, not understanding the words that came out of the nerd’s mouth. 

Jeremy frowned, but he didn’t let that news ruin his plans. “Oh, that’s okay. So you don’t read music?” At the shake of the other boy's head, he said, “That’s okay. Do you know how the song generally goes?” 

“I do indeed. I played the song with Wynonna a few months ago.”

The younger boy grinned at him and then passed paper to the younger redhead. “Nicole, here is some sheet music. Dolls--”

“I read music,” Xavier answered before the question was asked. 

Jeremy blushed and passed the boy the music. “Of course you do! That’s not a surprise.” He turned to the rest of the group and said, “I have this program where I can add different instruments and sound. I actually created the program… but that doesn’t matter much. But if you guys play it naturally, first, then I can show you what I can add to the group.” 

The song started with the thumping of the drum and the eerie light strumming of the guitar. Then Nicole joined in with Wynonna soon following with the opening line, “ _ We live in the doorway.”  _ The song was good, but pretty bland with just the four of them playing the notes that they heard when they listened to the song. 

When they finished, Jeremy changed a setting on Nicole’s piano, gave Wynonna a different mic that he brought with him, and pulled up his program on his computer and started syncing different sounds that filled the empty space between each note. 

They started to play again and Jeremy added what sounded like an electric pump pulsing a mechanical beat. He also added what sounded like percussion similar to a glockenspiel. The last step was when he added the synth pad. 

Their sound was noticeably different to a degree in which Mercedes couldn’t lay back and relax. She felt the music flow inside of her, like it resided in her bloodstream. There was a depth to every sound that was made. It was almost like the song was living and breathing, encapsulating everything around them. 

Once the final note was played, the sound echoed around the room, stunning the group into almost complete silence. 

That is, until Mercedes let out the words, “Holy fuck.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing these text exchanges are my favorite, I'm not going to lie. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Please review if you can and let me know what you are liking! :)
> 
> Also come follow me in tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay or twitter @chaoticpeacemkr


	10. Delicate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna reveals her thoughts about Jeremy. 
> 
> Dinner at the Earp household. 
> 
> (WayHaught starts to bloom)

“I know I don’t lead this band,” Doc told the group as a cocky grin started to form from his lips. “But I think he should be in.”

"Agreed," Dolls said as everyone nodded along to what Doc had announced to the group.

After seconds of silence, everyone turned to Wynonna, who purposefully hadn’t said anything. She was torn. She obviously knew what to do. She knew that he should be in the band, but she was stubborn as hell and didn’t want to admit it to Nicole that she was wrong (and there were, of course, a few other reasons that made her feel queasy about the whole thing). 

Jeremy grinned at the boy that he was already charmed by and said, “Wow, er, thank you so much! Your guitar playing, it’s… it’s rad.”

“How long have you been studying music?” Dolls asked him professionally, even though he was incredibly impressed. Not that he would dare tell him such a thing.

“Oh, I’ve been trying to learn everything about music since I was a kid. I listened to everything from Bach to Duke Ellington to Michael Jackson and wanted to understand what was different about them and how they all had such different sounds and designs. It has kinda been my obsession ever since. Well, that and science, I guess. Ooh, and syfy!”

“Hey, Earp,” Nicole piped up with a sly grin on her face, noticing that her friend had still refrained from stating her opinion. “You haven’t said anything yet. Did he dazzle you into stunned silence?”

Wynonna glared at her friend and crossed her arms. “He did nothing of the sort.”

“Oh, don’t be stubborn, asshole,” Mercedes told her as she got up and put her arm around Jeremy’s shoulders. “You’re just jealous that _you_ aren’t the genius in the band any longer.”

“Shut up, Gardner,” Wynonna muttered angrily. “He was alright. I’m going to have to think about it.”

Nicole stared at her with disbelief. She thought that Wynonna would be difficult about this, but she didn’t think that she would be stupid.

“What?” The younger redhead asked, her fists curling up into balls. “What do you mean you have to think about this? This isn’t a tough decision, Earp. I know you heard what I heard. That was the best we have ever sounded. You can’t even deny it.”

“Nicole…” Jeremy started to say to try to calm down the situation before the brunette yelled back at her friend.

“We are partners in this, Haught. That means that I get a say, too! We made the decision about Dolls and Doc together!”

“And what the hell was I going to do? Huh? Say no to them! They sound good, Earp, and we needed people in the band. It didn’t matter if I was wary of them. It didn’t matter that I didn’t know them like you did. I followed your lead. Can’t you do the same for me?”

Wynonna paused for a few seconds before replying softly (like she didn't enjoy offending both Nicole and Jeremy), “I need some time, okay, Haught?”

Nicole glared at her, but the other girl didn’t back down. It was a battle of the two strongest wills, and there wouldn’t be any winners. Not in this situation.

The redhead spun around dramatically and turned to her friend. Feeling horrible for inviting him and putting him in this situation, she told him, “I’m so sorry, Jeremy. You were phenomenal. I think all of us could agree on that. You don't deserve this shit. Mercedes, can we take him home?”

“‘Course, little red,” Mercedes agreed simply. Before leaving, she turned to her best friend and said, “I think you are in the wrong, Wyn. But I’m still coming to your place for dinner.”

Wynonna nodded and called out to the other redhead, “Haught, you can come t--”

“You can be a real dick sometimes, Wynonna,” Nicole stated firmly before leading Jeremy to Mercedes’ car.

* * *

“Don’t mind her,” Mercedes told the sad boy in the back of her car.  “She’s stubborn, but she’ll give in. You’re the coolest nerd I have ever met, Chetri.”

Jeremy nodded and smiled. He was glad that Mercedes and the guys believed in him, but it hurt that Wynonna didn’t have faith in him. It hurt that it seemed like she didn’t want him because of who she imagined him to be, not what he could offer to the band.

“It’s okay, really,” He tried to reassure them. “I was expecting this.”

“You shouldn’t have,” Nicole muttered bitterly. “You were better than any of us. This should have been a no-brainer.”

“It’s okay. Honestly--”

“No, it isn’t,” Nicole interrupted angrily. “I’m going to talk to her later. She’s being… frustrating. Can I join you for dinner at the Homestead?”

“Of course, little red!” Mercedes told her simply.

Jeremy, who had noticed that they were coming up close to his house, asked Mercedes, “Can you stop here?”

“I thought your house was a little up the road.”

“It is,” Jeremy admitted nervously. “I don’t want my dad to see you both drive me home. He’d ask too many questions… and I am sure that he wouldn’t like knowing that I was in a band. If he ever asks, we are in Chemistry club.”

“Like I’d ever be caught in Chemistry--”

“Of course,” Nicole told him with a supportive smile. This obviously bothered him, and Mercedes wasn’t catching on to what Jeremy _wasn't_ telling them. “Mercedes, stop the car.”

The older redhead pulled over and Jeremy opened the door. Before leaving he turned to the two girls and said, “Thank you. Even if Wynonna doesn’t agree, I had fun spending time with you both.”

“I’ll text you when things change, Chetri,” Nicole told him and smiled before he said goodbye and shut the door.

“I want to yell at Wynonna,” Nicole seethed through her teeth once her friend began to drive again.

Mercedes sighed and nodded in agreement. “I know you do, little red. And I don’t blame you. Hell, I want to, too. But let’s figure out why she is doing this, first. She can be stubborn and unwilling to admit defeat, but even this is overdramatic for her. There must be another reason.”

“Maybe Waverly could figure it out,” Nicole commented, thinking about the other Earp that her mind was (almost always) on.

“Eh…” The older girl said with a disbelieving shrug. “I’m not sure she could be of much help. The Earp sisters love each other more than I thought siblings ever could, but Wynonna doesn’t let Waverly in. She’s very private and never wants to burden her sister with her feelings.”

That did not surprise Nicole in the slightest. Wynonna rarely revealed anything personal about herself unless it was for mysterious effect. Everyone knew she was an enigma, and she liked it to stay that way. There was so much about the Earps that Nicole didn’t know about. Of course, there were the rumors. Like how Wynonna killed her father and how their sister was kidnapped, but Nicole didn’t trust them.

“So what did happen?” She asked the older redhead. “All those years ago with Waverly and Wynonna. What happened to them?”

Mercedes groaned and shook her head with frustration. “That question is so loaded, you have no idea. I don’t… I don’t even know where to start. There is so much that _I_ don’t know. Wynonna… she doesn’t like talking about her past or her trauma. She’s gone through so much that I probably don’t even know half of it.”

“Did she really kill her father?”

“Accidentally,” Mercedes answered, emphasizing the word carefully. “She _accidentally_ killed him. She was twelve. And this guy tried to take her sister and her father tried to fight him off. Her father was losing the fight so Wynonna tried to help. She attempted to shoot the attacker, but the bullet hit her father. She was _twelve_. The attacker got away and he took her sister with him. And Wynonna had to deal with the aftermath alone. Waverly was still asleep when it happened. She was alone.”

Nicole felt tears enter her eyes. She imagined a younger Wynonna, scared for her life and her family’s, break down after shooting her own father. She thought about how alone the poor girl must have been. How it must have changed her life in the darkest of ways.

“Did… did Wynonna tell you that?” Nicole asked sadly.

Mercedes shook her head. “No, that’s the official statement. I’ve tried talking to her about it. The questions usually follow up with her avoiding me for a week. She doesn’t talk about it. And I have no idea how much Waverly knows. From what I’ve heard, she does all that she can to be separated from that whole night.”

“I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for them,” Nicole sighed, shaking her head solemnly as she started fiddling with her fingers nervously. She always had the ability to over-empathize, so hearing about this made her feel on edge. “Have you always been friends with the family?”

“Oh, no,” Mercedes said immediately and shook her head. “Before the whole incident, the Earp family was beloved. Ward Earp, he was probably the most well-known man around town. The Earps have lived here for generations. And people really felt bad for the family when Wynonna’s mother abandoned the family. The three sisters, they were untouchable. They were popular, they were happy, they were loved. I didn’t even have a chance to be Wynonna’s friend. But then the incident happened and everyone abandoned her. That’s when I introduced myself. And it wasn’t like we were friends immediately. She wouldn’t even say anything to me for weeks. I just sat with her at lunch and talked to her about things. She’d tell me to go away but I didn’t. I never left her.”

Nicole could hear the underlying love and devotion throughout her friend’s words. Not that she’d say anything, of course. It wasn’t like they had been friends for long.

“So that’s why she’s so protective of her sister,” Nicole commented thoughtfully.

“Yep,” Mercedes agreed simply. “In many ways, Waverly is all she has left.”

“Not all,” Nicole argued. “She has you, too.”

The older girl’s face fell at the younger girl’s words. “Yeah. But she forgets that most of the time.”

The junior didn’t know how to respond to that. There was something that was obviously bothering Mercedes about Wynonna, but the younger girl didn’t even know what it could be. She was about to ask the girl when they approached the Homestead and she was silenced. There wasn’t enough time.

They got out of the car and knocked on the door.

“Normally I would just walk into the house…” Mercedes whispered as she leaned over close to her friend. “But you’re here…”

Nicole rolled her eyes but stopped herself from replying. When the door opened, her heart thumped faster and her breathing quickened. Waverly was in fuzzy pajamas and her long hair was put into two cute little buns. It was hard for the redhead to not stare.

“Wynonna assured me that you two _weren’t_ coming for dinner,” Waverly said as she blushed and looked down at her clothes. “Come in! I’m so sorry about my yummy pajamas.”

Nicole almost audibly gasped. “Is that a Buffy reference I hear?”

Waverly nodded and grinned happily. “It is! You’ve watched it?”

“All seven seasons of it!” Nicole told her proudly as she and Mercedes entered the house. “And the Angel Series and the comics. Though… the comics are a little hard to enjoy sometimes.”

Before they approached the kitchen, Mercedes leaned over again and whispered in the younger girl’s ear, “A nerd match made in heaven.”

Nicole felt the redness and heat creep across her cheeks. She hit her friend in the arm, knowing that the older redhead said it purposefully to fluster her.

“I stopped after the show,” Waverly admitted as they walked into the kitchen. She moved to the stove and mixed something in a pot on the stove. “I wasn’t too much of a fan of how the show ended and all.”

“Ah, Spike fan, I see?” Nicole asked her, trying to get her attention on the show rather than how adorable Waverly looked in her pajamas cooking.

“Actually--” She was interrupted by the sound of feet stomping down the stairs.

Wynonna’s eyes widened once she found her sister and her friends in the kitchen. “What the hell are you guys doing here?”

“Uh, Earp, you invited us…” Nicole muttered, confused to why Wynonna was so confused.

“I did,” Wynonna replied as she crossed her arms. “I just thought that you both would be too mad at me to come. Sorry, baby girl.”

“She’s fine,” Nicole said quickly. “I definitely don’t mind her pajamas.” She regretted her awkward words once they fell out of her mouth.

Mercedes put coughed into her arm and said the word “smooth,” receiving a glare from the younger redhead. She shrugged as if she didn’t give a shit what Nicole was angry at her.

“Thank you, Nicole,” Waverly said sweetly as she gave the girl a soft smile. She then turned to her sister and asked, “So, why would they be mad at you? And be specific, I know there are many options here.”

Before her best friend could answer, Mercedes informed her, “She was a dick to Nicole’s friend who had a sick audition today.”

“Yo, I wasn’t a dick!” Wynonna defended herself. “I just said that I had to think about whether or not he should be in our band. It wasn’t like I was rude or anything.”

“I’m sorry, darling, but I think you can’t _not_ be rude,” Gus interrupted once she opened the back door and she and Curtis walked into the house. “Mercedes, Nicole, it’s so good to see you both. What did Wynonna do this time?”

“This musical genius, a friend of Haught’s, auditioned for them today, and she didn’t say anything nice to him. And then she said she would have to think about letting him into the band. Which is batshit crazy since he’s probably better than any of you. Take offense,” Mercedes explained as she reached over and grabbed a small handful of cheese and popped it into her mouth.

“Wynonna…” Curtis sighed as he shook his head with disappointment.

“Don’t attack me!” Wynonna shouted and put her hands up in the air like she was surrendering. “Did you want me to lie or something?”

“Just explain your thinking, Earp,” Nicole told her reasonably.

Wynonna sighed and flopped onto a kitchen chair. She put her head into her hands and said, “Can we have a band meeting? Alone?”

“Fine by me,” Gus said and quickly left the room like she didn’t care at all. Curtis winked at Nicole before following his wife out of the room.

The older Earp sibling looked at her sister, but all she did was put her hands on her hips and said, “I’m cooking your dinner, ‘Nonna. You can't kick me out of the room this time.”

Wynonna harrumphed and waited for her two friends to join her at the table. “Look, I’m a bitch, alright? This has been established for a long time. But I’m not just being a bitch about this. He’s good. Okay, I’ll admit it. But is he right for _our_ band? I mean… he’s not like us.”

Nicole quickly recoiled and furrowed her eyebrows. “What do you mean he isn’t like us?”

“He’s like the rest of them,” Wynonna tried to explain without much tact. “He’s a crowd follower. People pleaser. He doesn’t have guts, you know? We’re… we are different. We don’t take shit. We don't accept the normal. We’re rule breakers. We’re loners.”

Nicole thought that might have been the stupidest thing she had ever heard. “That’s bullshit, Earp. _We’re loners?_ Yeah, we’re outcasts, sure, but you are going to tell me that Jeremy isn’t? That he doesn’t belong here with us just as much as I do? You thought I was little miss perfect before you started to get to know me. You were wrong about me. Why can’t you be wrong about him too?”

Wynonna couldn’t deny her friend's logic. “Yeah. I might be. It’s just… letting you in was a big enough risk. I don’t know this kid.”

The younger girl raised her eyebrows at the sudden realization. “So you said you weren’t sure because you are afraid of him?”

The brunette rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath, “I’m not _afraid_ of anything.”

“Wynonna, don’t be an idiot,” Waverly told her older sister with the slight head shake of disapproval. “If you trust Nicole, then trust this guy. If things don’t work out, he can always leave the band later. You always used to tell me that you didn’t want to be apart of a band if it wasn’t good. It sounds like to me this guy can make your band good.”

The elder Earp glared at her sister. “Don’t voice your opinion if you are going to not be on my side _and_ make sense.”

“They’re right, Wyn,” Mercedes stated with an apologetic shrug. “You don’t have to admit you’re wrong since I know how _hard_ that is for you, but at least let the poor boy into the band. And maybe apologize to him while you are at it.”

Nicole wanted to argue and tell Wynonna that she  _would_ like to hear the older girl admit she was wrong, but she bit her tongue, not wanting to add any more tension to this already somewhat sticky situation.

Wynonna hated compromising. But at this point, she hated letting her friends down even more. Even though it was something she was used to doing. She would hate to lose the two people she cared about most (other than her sister) over something so silly.

“Fine,” She said, giving in with annoyance lingering in her voice. “Fine, I’ll tell him tomorrow that he’s in the band. And I’ll even fucking apologize. But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to hold his hand or make sure that he’s my best friend. I’m going to mess with him. I’m going to pick on him. I’m not going to treat him like a little snowflake.”

“Good,” Nicole told her with a small smile. “He’s tough. The last thing he would want is for you to treat him like he’s this sensitive little boy. Meet me at lunch tomorrow. You can do it then. And then invite him to rehearsal.”

The older brunette nodded reluctantly and then turned to her sister. “How long until dinner? I gotta show Mercedes my autographed CD of The Killers album that just came in the mail today.”

“It’ll be a few minutes,” Waverly answered simply.

“Sick. Haught-cake, you can come with or stay. Whatever floats your boat.”

Nicole decided to stay. It wasn’t that she didn’t like The Killers, she just thought that Mercedes and Wynonna seemed to be itching to have a few moments alone together, and that was the last thing the younger redhead wanted to was get in their way.

Once her older sister was out of earshot, Waverly said, “I’m sorry that Wynonna was being so difficult today. I don’t think she purposefully means to be a jerk. Okay… maybe she does. But my point is that she doesn’t mean to be a jerk to _you._ She does care about your friendship and your opinions. She just probably won’t ever admit it.”

“Has she always been like this?” Nicole asked her curiously.

Waverly shrugged and explained, “Honestly, I’m not very sure. She’s been like this for as long as I can remember. But I don’t remember much of what she was like before… the whole incident and stuff. She was really close to our older sister. Losing her… I think that’s what has screwed her up. It’s hard... because she does this self-sabotage thing. And I want to be mad at her for it, but it’s hard to blame her after everything I know that she has gone through. And with all the things I don’t know about that she has gone through.”

Nicole nodded thoughtfully and tried to recall what Mercedes had just told her before when they were in the car.

“I can’t imagine what it must have been like for her.”

“This town… it can be rough on a kid whose life is different than everyone else’s,” Waverly commented wisely. “Did she tell you about it? Wynonna, I mean.”

Nicole shook her head and said, “I only know what Mercedes has been willing to tell me. Not that she seems to know much either.”

A frown formed on the younger girl’s face. “I would tell you if I knew what happened. I was inside the whole time. And Wynonna… she’s never talked to me about it. I only know what happened based on what the cops told me of what they were told by Wynonna. But she was twelve. So who really knows what happened.”

“At least you two had each other,” Nicole mentioned with a budding smile. “You guys seem close. I can tell that she really cares about you.”

Waverly chuckled softly and confessed, “She can be very protective. She’s a good sister. I love her with my whole heart. But sometimes it hurts that she hasn’t let me in. She’s had to go through so much stuff alone. It’s like she’s afraid to let me in, you know? Like she’s afraid of me finding out what really happened and who she really is. It’s sad because I know there is nothing that she could say that would make me stop loving her. I just wished that she believed me.”

“I don’t think she lets anyone in,” Nicole pointed out, trying to reassure her. “Mercedes has told me that she has been frustrated with Wynonna’s lack of forthcomingness.”

“Yeah, ‘Nonna doesn’t understand that she’s pushing people away, sometimes. Then again, other times I think it’s her aim to push people away. I think she thinks that she should be alone. Like she doesn’t think she deserves our love or support. I just don’t know how to change her mind about that.”

“That’s not  _your_ job, Waverly,” Nicole told her sincerely, with their eyes locking intensely. “You’re the younger sister. You shouldn’t have to hold her up. It’s not exactly fair to you.”

“No,” Waverly agreed sadly. “It’s not. But I do what I can. Because I know she would do the same for me if I needed the support.”

“I hope your friends know how lucky they are to have you. Wynonna, too.” Nicole knew her statement was awkward the second it came out of her mouth.

Waverly blushed and turned back to the food as if she couldn’t look at the girl any longer. “Thank you, Nicole. I know I’m lucky just to _know_ you.”

Nicole felt her heart grow multiple sizes. She wasn’t used to flirting, but she thought that this was the closest to flirting she had ever been with. It made her want to jump up out of her skin, squeal, and shed happy tears all at once.

Before she had the chance to say anything at all, however, Mercedes and Wynonna rejoined them in the kitchen as they animatedly talked about Brendon Urie and his what they called ‘perfect hair.’

Even though their conversation was cut off by the reappearances of an older sibling and friend, Nicole and Waverly shared eye contact and warm smiles throughout the rest of the night. As they ate dinner, the two of them laughed at Mercedes and Wynonna retelling a story of getting caught in a bar drinking due to the brunette's merciless flirting with a man who ended up being a cop. They even tried to defend the two of them when Gus and Curtis started calling them irresponsible. Even though both of the girls would never have done what the older girls did, they enjoyed backing them up to the adults. When they played poker, it was Waverly who had the patience to explain to Nicole all of the rules. It was also Waverly who 'accidentally' helped the younger redhead out when she continuously lost money to the rest of them. And when they said their goodbyes, Nicole reassured Waverly that her pajamas were adorable, causing the both of them to go red (and Mercedes to laugh about it the whole trip home).

It was Waverly who sent Nicole a text telling her how glad she was that Nicole had come for dinner. It was the redhead who shared with the brunette how happy she was to hang out with her and learn poker from who she called 'the poker master.' They reaffirmed their plans for Sunday and said goodnight, sending hearts back and forth until they went to bed with the images of each other's smiles in both of their minds and dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I love my baby gays :) 
> 
> Let me know whatcha thinking, faithful readers! <3
> 
> #FightForWynonna and find me on tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay or twitter @chaoticpeacemkr


	11. Wild & Unwise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First band practice with Jeremy!
> 
> Friday night fun!

“Don’t be a coward about this,” Mercedes pressured her best friend as they walked up the atrium stairs and Wynonna purposefully lagged behind. “Apologizing has never killed anybody.” 

“Oh, like you would know,” The brunette bit back with a fierce attitude. “You might apologize less often than I do.”

The redhead rolled her eyes and said, “That’s just because I can count the number of people I talk to on one hand. Besides, we were talking about you. Don’t deflect this onto me. This is _your_ problem.” 

Wynonna groaned, “Can’t we just turn around and go out to eat? We--”

“Yo, little red and little nerd!” Mercedes shouted as loud as she possibly could as she hurried over to the juniors who were sitting down and starting to eat their lunch. Disregarding Wynonna who was muttering curses behind her, she asked the two other teenagers, “How are you guys doing?” 

“Hi, Mercedes,” Jeremy greeted happily before noticing that Wynonna was practically hiding behind her. “We’re good. How about you?” 

“I’m doing swell, but I’m not the one that has something to say to you. Wynonnaaa…” The redhead moved to the side so that the brunette was out in the open. 

“Er… yeah,” Wynonna muttered awkwardly. “So, um, I was a dick. You’ll learn that I tend to fuck things up and act like an asshole. It has nothing to do with you. It’s all me, ya know? So… um… if you were still interested in being in the band, I think we could all agree that you should be in it.” 

He was honestly surprised. He expected something like this was going to happen since Nicole wasn’t in a terrible mood and didn’t complain about the brunette, but he was stunned with her forthcomingness. Despite her odd phrasing and obvious uncomfortableness, he could tell that she was being genuine. 

“Nah… I don’t think the band is for me,” Jeremy joked lightly while deadpanning. But unfortunately for him, he was too subtle. 

“What the hell?” Wynonna asked him fiercely with her hands like fists as if she was ready to hit him. “You’re going to say no? After I said all of that?” 

Jeremy’s eyes widened out of complete fear. In a few seconds, his face paled. His lips quivering, he choked out, “I… I was kidding. Of course I want to be in the band. I was just…” He gulped and added, “I was just trying to lighten up the mood.” 

Wynonna glared at him, Nicole blushed (slightly embarrassed for her friend), and Mercedes couldn’t stop laughing. 

“Oh, buddy,” the older redhead said as she wiped her tears off her cheek. “You need to work on your humor. That was… a trainwreck.” 

“But look at how hard you’re laughing,” Nicole pointed out as she patted Jeremy on the shoulder, giving him a little bit of comfort.  

“True,” Mercedes agreed, sending the boy a playful wink. She then turned to look at her best friend who still looked like she was steaming with anger. “You okay there, ‘Nonna?”

Nicole noticed her friend’s hard stare and said, “Calm down, Earp. You apologized and he’s in the band. The end. No need to look all murder-y.” 

Wynonna flinched at the words, but only the older redhead noticed. The brunette knew that the younger girl wasn’t trying to offend her, but the words still stung. 

Mercedes changed the subject knowing that her friend was going through a range of emotions. She secretly, and with as much subtlety as she could, put her hand on Wynonna’s neck and caressed it gently, hoping that she could calm the girl down. 

“I’ll drive you both there. Unless you wanted to ride on Wynonna’s bike, little red.” 

Nicole was torn. She loved riding on Wynonna’s motorcycle, but she knew that she couldn’t leave Jeremy alone. At least not until he was fully comfortable with people other than herself. 

“Of course I’ll ride with you. No offense, Earp.” 

Wynonna shrugged as if she didn’t give a fuck, but honestly, she was still hung up on the girl’s comment. 

“Maybe we can invite Waverly to a practice,” Nicole added as casually as she could, purposefully looking away from the brunette, not wanting the girl to know about the feelings that she had for her younger sister. 

Wynonna snorted as if that idea was preposterous. “Why would you want my sister around? I thought Juniors were afraid to interact with younger students.” 

“Don’t be an idiot, Earp, you know I don’t care about my image. I hang out with the people I want to hang out with.” 

“Wow, rebel,” The brunette gasped sarcastically. “Come on, Mercedes. I don’t want people to start thinking that we associate with them.” 

Nicole rolled her eyes and offered, “You can eat with us, you know. We won’t bite. Well, at least I’ll promise I won’t bite. Can’t speak for Jeremy here.” 

“Woah, is Chetri into kinky shit?” Wynonna asked playfully. 

He shrugged with a blush and questioned, “If I was, would that make you like me more?” 

A laugh fell effortlessly out of the senior’s lips. “It would if you were proud about it. But if you said it just because you thought it was what I wanted to hear… that would certainly make me hate you.” 

“Okay,” Mercedes interrupted and pulled on her friend’s arm. “We’re going now. Have a good rest of your lunch. I’ll see you two nerds later.” 

The two of them walked away and Jeremy watched them go with relief. He genuinely really liked Mercedes. But Wynonna… he didn’t understand why she had so many problems with him. He couldn’t think of something he did that could have offended her. Usually, he could pinpoint what caused people to stay away from him. But this time he couldn’t, frustrating him.

“I’m sorry,” Nicole apologized on her friend’s behalf. “Wynonna… she’s difficult sometimes. But she’ll grow on you. And she’ll be used to you eventually. She really is a good person when she isn’t trying to prove a point.” 

“And what point is that?” 

“That’s she’s an emotional bitch,” She answered solemnly. “She’s been through shit and I think that she has lived her life thinking that if she’s a jerk, people will hate her for that, not because of what she had done in the past.” 

Jeremy nodded but remained unconfident. “Are you sure that I should come to practice? I don’t want to cause a rift in the band.” 

“If you want to come, you should come,” Nicole stated without hesitation. “Do you want to come?” 

Jeremy thought about it for a second. On one hand, he could guess that this group would cause a lot of drama in his life. He wasn’t used to having a friend group, but this wasn’t something he thought he would ever get used to. But then again, he already really liked Nicole and Mercedes (and Doc and Dolls seemed cool too). He could imagine himself really having fun with a group of people like them. Besides, he was tired of being lonely. 

He guessed that this band wouldn’t make things easier at home. But he realized that maybe, in some way, he knew that it inadvertently could because it’s long hours and commitment would keep him away from his house. 

“I do want to be in this band,” He admitted eventually, causing Nicole to smile and sigh from relief. “Thank you for pushing me to do this.” 

“No need to thank me,” She told him honestly. “I’m so glad that things seem to finally be turning out right. We deserve that, don’t you think?”

Finally, for the first time in years, he might have actually agreed with her.

* * *

After spending the car ride discussing musical phases of their childhood, the three of them got out of the car to find the rest of the band discussing something aggressively. 

“Woah, what the hell is happening here?” Mercedes asked as the three of them interrupted the heated conversation between the three others. 

Doc crossed his arms dramatically and said, “Dolls, here, doesn’t think that we should name our band. He thinks that it would cause too much disagreement and waste too much of our time. Can you guys please tell him that he’s an idiot? A band wouldn’t be a band without a name.”

Nicole hated it, but she actually agreed with Doc on this one. Though she didn’t think it was necessary to fight over it. 

“They’re actually battling over who is more macho,” Wynonna told the three of them as she watched the two steaming angry men with amusement. “They don’t actually give a damn about the band name. They just wanted to find something to disagree on.” 

“You think I would stoop that low to do such a thing?” Dolls asked as if her words genuinely offended him. “I at least recognize I am not five years old.” 

Doc practically had steam coming out of his ears when he grunted, “Right, because somehow you have superiority over me even when I am a year older than you.”

Dolls rolled his eyes and retorted, “Age doesn’t matter, Holliday. I’m more mature than you. I am actually finishing high school. And you did what? Dropped out? And now you work as a lowly bartender.” 

The young cowboy chewed his lip. Dolls didn’t know that the words actually ripped him raw, but that didn’t stop Doc from continuing this unnecessary fight. 

“Of course, because how hard is it to do well when you are homeschooled?”

“Eh… he’s kinda got you there, Dolls,” Wynonna laughed, enjoying the chaos. 

Before Dolls had a chance to argue, Nicole interrupted, “This is stupid. Can you just calm your masculinity for a second so that we can actually practice music? Then when we are done you two can continue fighting all night. I don’t care what you do on your own time.” 

Dolls and Doc shared one last glare before looking away from each other. 

“Awww… you ended the fun!” Wynonna complained as they all set up the instruments and sound systems.

And like the day previously, they played like the entire world was listening. From song to song, things only got better. It was like they were finally coming up with a set that they could actually play and be proud of. Like an actual cover band.  

After three hours, all of them (besides Mercedes who was enjoying the music as she sat on the beanbag chair and read magazines) were covered in sweat from hard work. 

“Maybe we can actually start performing,” Doc suggested as they packed up their things and started heading out. “That is our goal, right?” 

“Of course,” Wynonna replied as if it was idiotic for anyone else to think otherwise. “But I don’t think we are quite there yet. We have memorizing and perfecting our setlist ahead of us before we consider presenting our talent to the public.” 

“I can talk to Shorty… when we’re ready. I’m sure he’d allow us to have our first concert in the bar. Speaking of, are you all coming tomorrow night? I’m bartending, so I can get free shots for us.” 

Nicole didn’t much like the sound of that. “That’s sorta unethical, don’t you think? It’s your job to make sure minors--” 

“Right, it’s  _ my  _ job, Haught,” Doc corrected defensively. “It’s not like I’m doin’ it for everyone.” 

“Only for the prettiest of girls,” Mercedes added amusingly before she got into her car and closed the door with Jeremy following close behind (not knowing if he would be invited to the social gathering). 

He rolled his eyes and assured the young redhead, “She’s kiddin’. I won’t make you drink, baby Officer. It was just an offer.” 

Nicole knew she was being harsh on him, but she didn’t like how he was bending the rules just to drink and break the law. It seemed pointless and stupid to her. Except, she had nothing better to do on a Friday night. And if Mercedes and Wynonna were going to be there, she was sure that she’d at least have some entertainment. 

“I’ll try to be there,” She told him, and even added a small smile. It wasn't like she wanted to cause a feud. She barely even disliked him anymore.

He was a little startled by her friendliness. “Oh. Okay, great. Tell your friend there, Jeremy, that he can come too. Hell, even Dolls here is invited.” 

“Are you sure there will be enough room for both of your egos?” Wynonna asked as she got onto her motorcycle and grinned at the both of them. 

“I’m truly flattered Holliday,” Dolls told him sarcastically before adding, “I may or may not attend. Depends, I guess.” 

Doc nodded and drove off on his motorcycle. 

“You guys coming to my place?” Wynonna asked before heading off. 

Nicole nodded and knocked on Mercedes’ window. When the window was rolled down, the younger redhead questioned, “You coming to Earp’s?” 

“Yeah, dude. You can ride on her motorcycle if you want. I know you want to. Jeremy’s house is like ten minutes away. We can handle ourselves here.” 

The junior looked over and made sure that he really was okay with her going with Wynonna. He smiled at her genuinely, reassuring her that she could ride with the brunette. 

“Cool. Convince him to come to Shorty's tomorrow, Mercedes. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jeremy. I’ll send you my chemistry study guide. I’ll see you in a bit, big red.” Dropping that nickname like a bomb, she ran over to Wynonna, laughing when she heard Mercedes’ comments behind her. 

“I’M GOING TO GET YOU SOON, LITTLE RED!” 

Wynonna had trouble not laughing at the scene in front of her and when the younger girl approached her, she passed the girl her helmet. 

“I told you that you would like riding with me. Once you get a little taste it’s hard to stop, right?” 

“I’m not going to reply to that euphemism,” Nicole replied before getting on the motorcycle.

* * *

“Do I need more concealer?” Stephanie asked her two friends as she tried to cover up her hickey on her neck. When her two friends shrugged, the girl groaned and said, “Why do I bother asking you both? You’re like… as vanilla as it gets. Both of you are basically already in boring marriages where the sex has gotten old. It makes me depressed.” 

Chrissy and Waverly shared a look of annoyance, but neither of them said anything. They were used to this kind of judgment, hating it, but being too afraid to actually say something. 

“Steph, you know that me and Champ aren’t actually together, right?” Waverly asked her, trying to make sure that this rumor stopped continuing. 

The preppy girl laughed wickedly and replied, “Champ tells a different story, W. I get playing hard to get, but this is just dramatic. Especially for you.” 

Waverly held in her anger. Taking a deep breath to not immediately lash out, she muttered, “We aren’t together. I’m not being dramatic. If he’s saying that we’re together, he’s lying.” 

Stephanie rolled her eyes and replied with a large sigh, “Whatever, girl. I totally get the whole ‘casual’ thing. But even you’re too pure for that.” 

“No, you’re not getting it, Steph. We’re not together at all. Like we’re not sleeping together. We’re not even kissing. I barely want to be around him.” 

Stephanie raised her eyebrows, surprised that she would say something like that. “Was it really that bad? The sex? I heard from Isa that he was a little awkward sometimes, but that he wasn’t b--” 

“I never slept with him!” Waverly interrupted, done with her shit. She was becoming tired of her friend’s unnecessary comments. She tried her hardest to be the girl that everyone liked. But she didn’t want to be used either. “We kissed like once in middle school. I broke up with him the next day.” 

Stephanie gaped at her, her eyes widened. “So are you like… a virgin or something?” 

Finally feeling some courage, Chrissy backed up her friend. “Steph, don’t be like that. Virgin or not, it doesn’t matter.” 

“What? I didn’t say anything. If she wants to wait for marriage, she can. What the hell do I care? I’m just saying, other guys might care. Though, I’m sure plenty of guys would be into it. I know plenty of guys who would do it with her. Hell, I bet there are girls that would do it with her.” She laughed maniacally like it was a joke. 

Waverly snapped. “And what would it matter if a girl liked me? Do you have a problem with that?” 

“Don’t PMS all over me, Waverly! It was just a joke. Jesus, can’t you take a joke anymore? Are you a gay or something?” 

Before Waverly had the chance to tell Stephanie that it was none of her business, Chrissy said, “Don’t be ridiculous, Steph. She’s not gay. She’s like us. Come on, we have to go. Ms. Perry will be annoyed if we are late to practice again.” 

Their conversation ended as fast as it started, but Waverly was seething with anger. She couldn’t believe how ignorant her friends were. She hated that she didn’t back herself up more, but she couldn’t. She had two more years of high school after this one. She didn’t want to ruin them. She knew she had her whole life afterward to be herself. She had time to be happy when she was older. 

And that, of course, brought her to think about Nicole. But then again, she was always thinking about Nicole.

* * *

She couldn’t help it, throughout the entire ride she only thought about Waverly Earp. She figured it was because the ride was a lot like her feelings for the younger girl. Both were intoxicated in the sweetest ways, but both were also potentially dangerous and tied to Wynonna. The redhead prided herself on being fearless of the senior, but she also recognized how protective the older girl is of her sister, and was wary about her finding out about the not so platonic feelings that she had for her. 

However, she realized that she wasn’t dating Waverly Earp. She didn’t even know if Waverly was into her let alone if she liked girls. All she knew was that she used to be with Champ. But she knew that he was exactly the kind of guy that would turn girls away from men. Because of this, she understood it was almost pointless to be worried about Wynonna when she knew she probably wouldn’t even have the chance to be with the girl. 

“You look like you’ve been thinking too much,” Wynonna stated once they got off the motorcycle and walked toward the house. “Which is the exact opposite of what the motorcycle is intended for.” 

While Waverly was at cheerleading practice, the dinner was a lot like a normal hangout with Mercedes and Wynonna. Nicole couldn’t help but be a little disappointed, but she still loved hanging out with her friends. She couldn’t really complain. She especially couldn't complain when she headed out the door at night and found Waverly coming toward the house. She was still in her cheerleading uniform. Nicole didn’t mean to stare, but she couldn’t really help it. 

“Hiya, Nicole!” Waverly cheered happily and waved at her friend. 

It took a few seconds for Nicole to find her words. Even then… things didn’t go quite right. 

“Hell-i. Bye. I mean, I’m leaving. Home. I’m going home. It’s late.” 

“Awww, okay! I’ll see you later then!” Waverly told her before blushing and going back into the house. 

Nicole cursed herself and glared at her friend once Mercedes started laughing. And the older redhead wouldn't stop laughing until she dropped Nicole off at her house.

* * *

“Are you sure about this?” Jeremy asked as he and Nicole slowly made their way to Mercedes’ car after school got out. “I mean… you don’t drink, I don’t drink.” 

“No one said we had to drink,” Nicole pointed out. “They won’t pressure us. Besides, we’ll be at the bar in the afternoon. There isn’t much trouble we can get into.” 

Jeremy was uncertain, but he trusted Nicole. 

“Yo! Little red! Little nerd! You guys ready to party?” Mercedes asked once they got into her car. “Why do you all look depressed? School is over and we are going to get free drinks.” 

“I think it’s the drinking part that turns me off, to be honest,” Jeremy confessed as she pulled out of the parking lot. “I’m not really excited to get drunk.” 

“Have you ever been to Shorty’s before, little nerd?” Mercedes questioned lightly. “There is more to do there than drink. There is darts and pool. And good company. And seeing Wynonna drunk is always an experience.” 

“Who’s the designated driver?” Jeremy asked cautiously, even though he was feeling slightly reassured. 

“Dolls said he would be,” The older redhead informed him.

“I can drive, too, if need be,” Nicole added and continued to tell him things that she knew would reassure him until they actually arrived at the bar.

* * *

Doc closed the bar once everyone arrived. He wouldn’t tell anyone this, but it was actually Shorty’s idea for him to invite the gang over and enjoy themselves without any supervision. Shorty was chill with that kind of thing, and he trusted Doc. Shorty saw himself in the young man and became his only supporter. He offered him a job when he didn't have any experience. When he told him about the band he was in, Shorty only offered praise and support. Doc knew he wouldn’t get in trouble with this, but he wanted everyone to think that he really was rebelling. 

He turned the music on and everyone cheered. He promised Shorty that he wouldn’t overdo it with the alcohol, so he wanted to control the amount of alcohol that everyone was consuming. This was new for him since the one person from the group he drank with was Wynonna, and he usually gave her as much as possible. 

Wynonna and Mercedes drank like they were pros. It took a lot of alcohol to get Wynonna wasted, so she wasn’t taking it slow. Dolls sat at the bar, sipped his soda, and listened to the music intensely. Jeremy and Nicole were talking about the major failures of The 100 as they lamely attempted to play pool. Wynonna noticed that the two juniors weren’t drinking and walked over to them. 

“Why aren’t you all getting drunk yet?” Wynonna whined as she tugged on the redhead’s arm. 

Nicole glared at her before answering, “Because it’s like not even 4:00 and I don’t normally enjoy getting drunk.” 

“4:00 is an appropriate time to drink, Ms. goody-two-shoes. Just have a beer and relax, Haught. This is just the beginning of our night.” 

Jeremy gaped at the both of them and gasped, “The  _ beginning _ ? There’s going to be more?” 

“It’s Friday in Purgatory,” Mercedes told him as she walked across the room to the group of three. “Of course there’s more. We can drop you off, first, though if you want. We won’t judge.” 

“She won’t judge, she means,” Wynonna correctly slyly. “I, on the other hand, will. Let’s play a game!” 

The announcement caused Doc and Dolls to join the group to find out what the brunette had in mind. 

“What game were you thinkin’, pretty lady?” Doc asked her. 

“Get six beers, Holliday,” Wynonna ordered as she grinned at the group of people, looking wild. “We’re playing never have I ever.”

* * *

After ten minutes of Wynonna convincing Dolls to join in on drinking (arguing that they can call an Uber or walk home), they finally started the game. It began tame enough. None of the questions were too personal or inappropriate. But that was only just the beginning. 

“Never have I ever had family walk in on me while masturbating,” Wynonna asked as she playfully wiggled an eyebrow as if daring someone to take a sip.

Not giving a shit, Mercedes chugged her beer, causing everyone to laugh. 

“Never have I ever had hate sex with someone,” Mercedes said.

Both Doc and Wynonna drank to that one. Which made things uncomfortable. In reality, they weren’t talking about each other, not that they knew that. 

Things only escalated from there. They all learned things about each other that they didn't really need to ever know. They learned Mercedes was kinky, Wynonna had sex with someone older than forty, Doc was very experienced with drugs and guns, Dolls snuck out every night and had a weird relationship with his family, Nicole had her sexual awakening with her ninth-grade English teacher, and Jeremy had feelings for someone that was in a relationship. 

There was no true ending to the game. It only shifted into a new conversation when Nicole admitted she was a virgin and the rest of them told her that people would kill to be with her. Wynonna and Mercedes even offered their services, which Nicole denied with a fierce blush. 

That turned into Wynonna, Mercedes, and Doc telling each other about some of their worst times. And best times. And first times. And weirdest times.

Jeremy, Nicole, and Dolls (who was uninterested in sex) listened with amusement. They couldn’t necessarily relate, but the stories were all pretty good. And while drunk, they were funny as hell, too. 

Hours passed. Doc was almost harmed by darts that Jeremy apparently couldn't aim, Wynonna showed her real talent with body shots, Mercedes kissed Dolls to see what it was like, and they danced to an entire Fun. album. Jeremy, Nicole, and Dolls weren’t used to being intoxicated, which made things really interesting. Jeremy straight up started hitting on Doc and Dolls, Dolls couldn’t stop laughing, and Nicole couldn’t speak coherently, which was difficult since she was basically speaking in either riddle or Yoda speak. 

Doc was about to suggest cutting everyone off when the door opened and a gorgeous girl around their age entered the bar with her hands on her hips. Jeremy jumped behind Wynonna as she and Dolls quickly stiffened as if they were ready to fight this stranger. It was only Doc who knew the girl and he rolled his eyes at her. It wasn’t that he didn’t like her. He actually did, he was just annoyed that she was interrupting.

“I thought Shorty told you  _ not  _ to come in today,” Doc said as he accidentally flipped his hat off his head.

Before the mysterious girl could reply, Wynonna asked, "Who the hell are you?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please review and let me know what you are thinking! Or find me on tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay or twitter @chaoticpeacemkr


	12. Lovefool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mystery girl doesn't stay a mystery. 
> 
> Nicole and Waverly go on their 'friendly' date.

“He did,” the mysterious girl told Doc with a raised eyebrow, ignoring the brunette who asked who she was. “I was just curious why Shorty told me not to come in. I'm a little surprised he told me to not come in for work to give you room to get wasted with friends, but hey, who am I to judge? I’m spending my free time checking in on teenagers that are probably irresponsibly smashed.” 

Speaking over Dolls incessant laughter, Wynonna countered aggressively, “I thought you j-just said that you weren’t judging us.”

The mysterious brunette smiled and said, “Honesty isn’t my strongest suit. Besides, it was just a saying. I’m judging the hell outta all of you. But at least I am sober enough to drive you all home.” 

“We don’t even know you,” Mercedes stated obviously, with an edge to her tone that her friends recognized. 

The girl raised her eyebrows and said, “The name’s Rosita. And Doc knows me. Besides, what do you really need to know more than a name? I've slept with people knowing even less.” 

Doc realized that everyone was still uncertain about her and reassured them, “Rosita’s cool. We can trust her.” 

After the cowboy pointed to people, introducing them by name, Wynonna whined,  “There was going to be a part two. A second location.” 

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to go to a second location?” Rosita joked, trying to see if anyone would recognize or react to it. Only Nicole laughed, understanding the girl’s reference. The redhead stopped laughing once Wynonna glared at her. Rosita added, “I’m kidding, of course. I can take you there if you want.”

“Why are you being so nice?” Mercedes asked her, feeling unsettled with the stranger’s kindness.

Rosita snorted and answered, “I drive on these roads. I don’t want you to run into me or anyone else. Besides, if you get yourselves or others hurt or killed I don’t want the guilt of knowing I could have prevented it.”

“We can do it next week,” Mercedes reminded the brunette, patting her shoulder comfortingly. “We can still hang out at your house now.”

“I gotta get home,” Dolls muttered as he checked his phone. “My parents are going to kill me.” 

“Let’s go, then,” Rosita said and started walking to the door. 

Everyone besides Doc wasn’t really sure about this trip with the stranger, but they reluctantly followed behind knowing they didn’t exactly have other options.

* * *

The drive started out awkward, but things settled down once the oldest girl turned on her music. Though most people in the band wouldn’t admit it, they loved the music that was being played by an artist that they didn’t know from the stereo. 

“Who is this?” Nicole asked, feeling the most comfortable out of the group (besides Doc) with the girl. The redhead, even though she didn’t necessarily like him that much, trusted Doc, and therefore trusted Rosita. Besides, she had a good feeling about her ever since she understood her John Mulaney reference. 

“Jade Bird,” Rosita informed her with a grin. “She’s fantastic, isn’t she? I learned about her when she opened for Hozier. Best concert I have ever been to.” 

Nicole’s eyes widened. “You’ve seen Hozier in person? What was it like?” 

“Basically what you’d imagine,” The older girl explained cheerfully. “It was just magical. I swear you could feel his soul when he performs. He puts everything he has into every song.” 

“Well, isn’t it the rumor that he’s a fairy or fae or woodland creature or something?” Jeremy asked, following his friend’s lead by talking to the stranger. 

Rosita let out a small chuckle and replied, “I wouldn’t be surprised if he was. I mean… his lyrics for one thing. I mean, who else can write about decaying bodies so beautifully? When _Wasteland, Baby!_ came out, I basically spent the whole day listening to it.” 

“You also forced  _ everyone else  _ to listen to it,” Doc pointed out. “For days we listened to it in the bar. Shorty doesn’t get angry often, but he was close to murdering you, Rosita.” 

She shrugged as if she didn’t care. “Worth it. Besides, it was fun messing with you. And it wasn’t The Rolling Stones or some other white old man music for once.” 

Doc gasped, partially pretending that he was offended (even though a small part of him was actually offended). “That music is timeless, Rosita.” 

“Yeah, and usually misogynistic,” She retorted flatly. “Look, I have no problem with your white music. I have a problem with it when it is all white people listen to and consider the only good music.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Mercedes murmured. “You actually said it. I’ve felt that way for so long. Like it actually makes me not want to listen to it. But I guess the other problem is that rock has been dominated by men and women rarely get their shot with it.” 

“It’s so much more than rock,” Rosita added as she shook her head. “This problem happens with punk, rap, hell, even classical. Women have to work harder, once again, to get any recognition. And even if they do, they have to look a certain way. It’s fucking frustrating. Sorry, didn’t mean to get into that rant. I’m sure you all know that by now. You’re all in a band, right?” 

“Wynonna’s the lead singer,” Nicole told her with pride. “I’m on keys, Doc’s on guitar, Dolls plays the drums, Jeremy basically does everything else, and Mercedes is our official moral supporter.” 

“That’s hella cool,” Rosita stated truthfully. “I’d love to hear you guys some day. Let me know when your first gig is and I’ll be there. You all have a name yet?”  

“God’s Nipple,” Wynonna lied as she folded her arms. She did not trust this random girl. Despite how everyone seemed to feel about her. 

“She’s kidding,” Dolls assured Rosita whose face fell. “We have not come up with a name yet. We seem to keep gathering members of the band. Do you play any instruments?” 

“Cello and viola,” Rosita answered and added, “If you ever need any extra strings for a song, I’m happy to help out. I was in a band in the last town I lived in.” 

Jeremy gasped and said, “I played violin! We should play a duet sometime! I haven’t played in years, though.” 

“Definitely!” Rosita told him with a smile, charming the drunk boy. 

“Was your band any good?” Dolls asked her curiously. 

Rosita shrugged and responded, “Eh. We weren’t total shit, but the lead singer was. I’m sure you aren’t this way, Wynonna, but lead singers can be controlling.” 

“Divas,” Mercedes added as she laughed, causing her best friend to smack her arm. “Of course we aren’t talking about you, ‘Nonna. You’re just an angel. A breath of fresh air.” 

“This is me,” Dolls interrupted as Rosita pulled into his driveway. “Thanks for the ride, Rosita.” 

“It’s no problem…” She trailed off when she noticed this man charging out of his house next door to Xavier’s. “Who is--” 

He was already at their car and started banging on it. Rosita didn’t seem to know what to do, especially since everyone else was speechless. Mr. Bulshar angrily tapped on the window which Wynonna was staring out of it. 

“Wynonna Earp!” He yelled as he banged on the door. “Get outta the car, little girl! Come and face me!” 

The brunette gulped and felt her heart raced. “He’s drunk…” was all she could whisper in explanation. “Drive away.” 

“No,” Rosita muttered and shook her head, not wanting to deal with this shit. She opened her door and slammed it. As everyone in the car became on edge, she walked around the car to greet him. 

“Who the hell are you? And why the fuck are you whacking my car like an idiot?” She asked him, ready to slug him if she had to. 

“I live here, girl!” He told her as he purposely tried to tower over her. “What are you doing here? Don’t you know what kinda girl you are hanging out with?” 

“Do  _ you  _ know what girl  _ you  _ are talking to?” She lowered her voice and threatened him. Her voice was so much softer that no one in the car could hear what she said that caused him to cower away and back into his house. 

Rosita took a deep breath and then opened the door, allowing Dolls to get out. He thanked her once again and ran to his house. She closed the door and traveled back to the front. In the silence, she started to drive again. 

“What did you say to him?” Wynonna asked her, stunned at everything that had just happened. Stunned that Rosita had the courage to get out (something Wynonna would have done if it was anyone  _ but  _ him), stunned that she backed the brunette and others up, and stunned that whatever threat she made convinced him to walk away. 

Rosita shrugged mysteriously, not wanting to admit to the others what she had said. Vaguely, she answered, “I can get scary when provoked. Besides, angry drunk men don’t scare me. I grew up with them.” 

Silencing everyone, she continued to drive, dropping Jeremy off next. She was a little confused when he asked her to drop him off at a quarter of a mile away from his residence, but much like Mercedes and the others, she didn’t question it. She even waved to him when he started to walk away. Simply put, she was easy to like. 

Nicole wanted to make sure that Wynonna was okay before she left, but she didn’t feel comfortable asking the brunette in front of Rosita and Doc. Everything had happened so fast, she just didn’t know what to do about it. She was just glad that Mercedes was staying with Wynonna at the Earp Homestead. She trusted that the older redhead would be there for the brunette. 

When she dropped both Wynonna and Mercedes off, Rosita seemed to ease up. 

“Does that kind of shit happen all the time or… bad timing?” She asked as she drove to the junior's place. 

“Um…” Nicole murmured as she tilted her head back and forth as if she were deciding what to say. “I wouldn’t say all the time. For as long as I’ve known her, she seems to put herself in precarious situations.

“Wynonna Earp is a mysterious creature,” Doc added thoughtfully. “She wants us to rehearse in that garage knowing that a man, who obviously has scarred her, lives there. She likes to touch what hurts her and hopes that she won’t be touched by it.” 

Nicole couldn’t help but stare at him. She wasn’t expecting something as considerate and introspective coming from him. She always thought he was a little douchey and a little too into Wynonna, but here it sounded like he truly tried to understand her. 

“So who was that guy?” 

Nicole shrugged and answered, “Her old foster dad. As Doc said, she wants to stay in the garage even though she obviously has bad memories there.” 

“I understand that,” Rosita commented softly as if she meant to only say it in her head. Changing the subject, she said, “She didn’t seem to like me. Is that her being drunk, or her just being her?” 

“Wynonna doesn’t much like anyone,” Doc told her sincerely. “I consider myself a friend and I don’t think she likes me much.” 

Freakishly, like they were connected, Rosita and Nicole both said at the same time: “Well, who would?” 

Doc groaned and facepalmed. “Why is everyone against me?” 

“You’re just easy to pick on,” Rosita told him with a simple shrug. “And I know you can take it. Nicole, here, obviously feels the same way. By the way, are your parents going to be able to tell that you’re wasted?” 

The redhead didn’t know how to answer that. Truthfully, she didn’t know if her parents would notice. And if they did, she wasn’t sure if they would scold her or applaud her. 

“I’m not sure,” Nicole answered with uncertainty. “They probably won’t even look up when I get into the house. Which, if you knew my story, would be ironic, because as a kid they wouldn’t leave me alone.” 

Rosita understood what the redhead  _ wasn’t  _ saying. She could relate to it in every way. “Parents tend to care and overbear when their kids are young because they try to live vicariously through them. But then when they realize their kid isn't exactly like them, they give up. It’s not your fault, Nicole. What do you got? A year or two left of school? That’s nothing. You can then leave and never return. You don’t owe them anything.” 

It was the kind of speech that Nicole would have expected from Wynonna or Mercedes but was glad to hear it from this stranger that she was already starting to like. 

“So did you leave your parents?” The redhead asked curiously. 

The brunette tilted her head with clouded unsureness. She liked this younger girl, but she didn’t like to open up about her family. She never did. 

“We lived here years ago. But then there was this like family scandal and things happened and we had to leave. I don’t speak to my family anymore. I came back here because well, this is the only home I’ve ever known. And Shorty took pity on me.” 

Doc nodded and said, “We’ve got that in common. I grew up a few towns over. But when my father left, my Mama brought me to Purgatory. She was my only family. When I needed a job, Shorty offered. He’s a saint.” 

Nicole couldn’t help but notice the past tense. It saddened her and gave a certain depth to his personality that she didn’t understand before. It explained why he wanted to be with Wynonna. He was lonely, and Wynonna provided the company that he rarely had. 

“How long have you guys known each other?” Nicole asked the both of them. 

“Not too long,” Rosita answered calmly. “A month or two, I guess. I haven’t lived here long. And we have different shifts. Most of the time I see him because he lives in the little apartment above. Though, I think I’m moving in with him in a week. Right, Henry?” 

Nicole noticed the small blush that crept on his face. 

“Yeah,” he responded, sounding like he forced himself to sound smooth. “I offered to sleep in the basement…”

“He thinks that makes him a gentleman or somethin’,” Rosita joked lightly as she pulled into Nicole’s driveway. “Nice place, Nicole. I’m glad I found you all tonight. It reminded me that there are a few cool people left in this godforsaken town.” 

“It was really nice meeting you, too!” Nicole told her and then added, “You really should come hang out with us at rehearsals or something. Thank you so much for driving us home. You’re probably the reason why we will all survive the night.” 

“It’s no problem,” Rosita replied with a wink. 

Nicole exited the vehicle and waved goodbye as she watched the car drive away. She took a deep breath before entering her house. She opened the front door to find her parents entertaining other adults that she didn’t know (without warning her ahead of time, of course). 

“Nicky!” Her dad greeted happily (he was obviously drunk, too). “Where ya been?” 

The girl noticed the drunken chuckles coming out of the adults who looked at her. She wondered if they noticed she was miserable. Or maybe, she pondered, they knew that she wasn’t like her parents. 

“Around,” She responded vaguely as she grabbed a banana and retreated to her bedroom, her only sanctuary in her whole house. To cover up the sound of her parents’ chatter and laughter, she put on her headphones and dug under her sheets. 

She felt her phone buzz and she smiled at the name on her phone.  _ Waverly. _

* * *

Sunday couldn’t have come faster for the younger Earp. She had been excited about her ‘date’ with Nicole for days. She spent a lot of time with her friends. But she never felt like this. The thought of the redhead literally brought a smile to her face. 

“What are you smiling about, baby girl?” Wynonna asked her as she joined her sister for what would be her breakfast and Waverly’s lunch. “Have any good daydreams that you want to share with your big sister?” 

Waverly glared at her sister and said, “Ew, Wyn. Even if I was, I wouldn’t share with you. Besides, you can’t be judging me. Not when you’re the one waking up at 12:30. At least you don’t have a hangover today.” 

The older girl sighed and smiled bitterly. “I’ll invite you to our next drunken outing, Waves. Whatcha up to today?” 

Waverly felt her cheeks redden and heart thump faster. She wasn’t used to lying to her sister. It wasn’t like she wanted to lie to her (hell, she didn’t even know why she was doing it) but she felt like it was something Nicole wanted to keep secret. 

“Something you probably wouldn’t approve of.” 

Wynonna frowned and muttered, “Does that mean you’re hanging out with Stepha-bitch and her horrendous team of assholes?” 

The younger girl glared at her and said, “Why do you always have to say it like that? I try to be supportive of your friends.” 

“What about the bikers?”

Waverly chuckled and said, “Nobody liked the bikers.” 

The older Earp grinned and laughed, “Nobody likes the clique you’re in. But you’re right. I got no right to judge. They just don’t deserve you, you know? But then again, I might not think anyone deserves you.” 

Waverly rolled her eyes and said, “A little overprotective, Wynonna, but I appreciate the sentiment. I’m heading out. I trust that you’ll stay out of trouble while I’m gone?” 

“Eh, I’ll try. No promises, though.” 

And Waverly wouldn’t expect any.

* * *

The plan was for them to meet up at Main Square. Nicole couldn’t help but grin when she caught sight of the younger Earp. Waverly, too, was smiling as she approached the redhead. They greeted each other with awkward waves and nervous chuckles. Neither one of them really knew what to say or do. 

Waverly brushed her hair behind her ears and blushed slightly as she noticed Nicole watch her do so, and said, “Are you ready for me to take you to a favorite place of mine? You have to remember to keep it a secret, though. No one knows about my little corner of serenity in this town.” 

Nicole stared at her with awe before saying, “My lips are sealed. Show me the way, Waverly Earp. My fate is in your hands.” 

The brunette snorted and commented, “Overdramatic, thank you. I guess... Come on.” 

Nicole followed Waverly through town excitedly until they ended up in front of the Ice House. 

“Ice skating?” The redhead asked with slight surprise. 

Waverly nodded and whispered, “I came here for my seventh birthday. It’s my favorite memory. It’s the last time my whole family was together.” 

Nicole understood that it must have meant a lot to Waverly, making her fill up with pride that the younger Earp wanted to share that with her.

“My family doesn’t do anything together. Unless you count forced diets and trips where I have to stay in hotels so my parents can have fun.” 

The younger girl frowned, upset and quite honestly angry that the other girl had to go through all of that. But Waverly could also relate to the loneliness of it. 

Changing the subject, the brunette asked, “Have you ever ice skated before?” Nicole blushed (slightly embarrassed) and shook her head. It didn’t make Waverly gasp or shame her as the redhead expected. Instead, the young girl grinned and said, “I’ll be your teacher, then!”

Waverly chuckled at Nicole’s surprised gape and grabbed the girl’s hand. Holding her hand close to her, she led them into the Ice House. Like she had done it a million times before (and she practically had) Waverly helped Nicole pick out the right size for her ice skates and put on the ones that the manager she knew so well kept hidden for her. 

“You have your own pair of ice skates?” Nicole asked her incredulously. 

The young girl nodded and blushed. “The manager has always felt bad for me, I think. I always come alone. And besides, I’m probably their best customer. How are you doing? Those feeling comfortable?” 

Nicole recognized that Waverly didn’t want her to focus on the ‘alone’ part, but it was hard not to. She wished that the sophomore never felt alone again. But she didn’t ask the girl about it. Instead, she got up from the benches and wobbled a little bit before Waverly put her hands on her shoulders and steadied her. 

“Wow, I did not think it would be this hard to  _ stand _ ,” Nicole joked lightly, trying to ignore the fact that Waverly was touching her  _ again. _

“It’s harder than it looks. Here, hold on to my arm. I won’t let you fall.” 

Nicole gave her an appreciative smile before taking hold of her strong arm. Waverly started to walk toward the ice and the redhead followed with trepidation. She did not want to make a fool of herself. 

Once they approached the rink, Waverly told her, “You’re not going to be able to get on the ice and skate around. It’s going to take a while and a lot of practice. But luckily, you’ve got me. Give me your hand. I’m going to take you to the bar so with one hand you can hold onto that and with the other, you can hold onto me.” 

Her hand in hers, Nicole shakily stepped onto the ice and almost slipped. Waverly grabbed a hold of her by basically wrapping her arms around her. It caused both of them to laugh awkwardly, not really knowing how to get out of the strange position. 

“I forgot how difficult it is to get on the ice for the first time,” Waverly commented as she helped Nicole grab the bar. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay!” The redhead reassured her once she started getting a hang of her movements on the ice. “I trust you. I know you don’t want me to fall. If I did, I think I’d be confusing you with Wynonna.” 

Waverly snorted and replied, “Yeah, I think she’d find you falling entertaining. I think I’ve said it before, but I’m just glad that you two found each other. Or were forced together or whatever.” 

“I’m glad too. I’ve met so many amazing people through her. And her, too, of course. It’s just… I’ve never really had a friend group until now. Your sister is kind of my savior.” 

The young girl took her friend’s words immediately in the wrong way. She heard the adoration in Nicole’s voice and took it as romantic feelings. She frowned, feeling like an idiot about this whole situation. She figured that Nicole was here just to be nice or because of Wynonna. 

“Yeah, my sister is really great,” Waverly whispered solemnly. “She… she really can make people feel special. Have you told her about… about how you feel?” 

Nicole almost fell due to her confusion. She stopped thinking about her feet on the ice and instead thought about her screw up. She thought Waverly knew she had feelings for her. Gulping nervously, she asked, “About how I feel?” 

Waverly nodded and said, “Yeah. About  _ Wynonna _ . You don’t have to try to hide it from me. It’s okay.” 

“No!” Nicole practically shouted, startling the younger brunette. “Waverly, I do  _ not  _ have feelings for your sister! I mean, she’s great. But she is not my type. And I think she’s into Mercedes. But that isn’t the point. I am not into your sister.” 

The brunette’s eyes widened and she said, “Oh. I thought… I thought you were into girls.” 

A nervous chuckle escaped Nicole’s lips and she admitted, “I am. I’m le-- gay. I’m gay. But I’m not into your sister.” 

Waverly tried to hide her relief and enthusiasm that Nicole’s reassurance had brought her. She was having more difficulty denying her feelings for the redhead. 

Changing the subject, the sophomore squeaked, “Mercedes and Wynonna, huh? Are they together?” 

“Officially, no,” Nicole answered with a shrug. “I think a relationship would mean that they would have to admit to each other that they were into each other. Which, I’m not sure will happen. I hope so, though. They deserve each other.” 

Waverly gasped at a realization, and at Nicole’s confused glance, she explained, “Mercedes stays in Wynonna’s room all the time. While playing really loud music.” 

Nicole started to laugh. And she didn’t stop for a long time.

* * *

They shared stories, talked about the future, and laughed about personal experiences with Wynonna for hours as they skated around the rink. They only had one break so they could use the bathroom and warm up with cups of hot cocoa. They found it easy to converse with each other, and by the time it started nearing dinner, neither of them wanted to let go of each other. They got used to holding each other’s hands. 

“I told Gus I’d be home by 5:30,” Waverly muttered once she checked her phone and noticed how late it had gotten. “I really don’t want to go… but…”

“I totally get it,” Nicole reassured her, even though she was a little disappointed. “I’ll walk you home if you want.” 

Waverly sent her an appreciative smile as she led both of them to the exit. 

“That would be great. But, of course, Wynonna will be there. Are we… are we keeping this from her? I mean, I don’t know why we would. I just…” She was lost for words and didn’t know how to continue. 

Nicole didn’t know what to say. She had feelings for the brunette, but she really didn’t like the idea of Wynonna finding out about it. She silently took off her skates and put on her original shoes while trying to think of something to say. 

The brunette’s eyes widened, surprised by the silence and how the older girl didn’t deny that she wanted to keep it a secret. 

“We don’t have to say a word. We don’t. I um… I mean I don’t really get what the problem is. Are you… are you ashamed of me or something? Did you think you would lose like cool brownie points for hanging out with me?” 

Without hesitating, Nicole shook her head. “Oh, no, Waverly. I’m definitely not ashamed of hanging out with you. I really like you.” She blushed the words that accidentally came out of her mouth. At the brunette’s gape, she added, “I mean, not like that. I don’t like you. I mean I like you. Of course I like you. I mean, you’re my favorite person in this town. But I don’t… you’re straight.” 

Waverly didn’t know what to say to her. She didn’t know exactly what she was feeling or how to explain it to Nicole. She thought that she liked boys. For so long, she thought that was a given. But Nicole changed everything. 

Breathing out uncomfortably, the younger girl said, “I don’t… um… I don’t know.” 

Nicole’s face softened sympathetically. She held the girl’s hand and told her, “I get it. I know what it’s like. The confusion. The hurting. It’s okay to not know. Did I… did I ruin everything?” 

The sophomore shook her head and replied honestly, “No. I just need time, Nicole. But… I’d love to continue getting to know you. Maybe we can do this again? And soon?” 

Even though she cursed herself by how awkward she had been, Nicole nodded and sadly let go of the brunette’s hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEK WayHaught feelings! I love being angsty. 
> 
> Rosita's a badass. Period.
> 
> I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Please let me know what you think or come talk to me in tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay or twitter @chaoticpeacemkr


	13. Interlude: I'm Not Angry Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Sunday night and life's happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter is named after the Paramore song. If you don't know the song, here are the lyrics. They really go along with the story.  
> "I'm not angry anymore,  
> Well, sometimes I am.  
> I don't think badly of you,  
> Well, sometimes I do.
> 
> It depends on the day,  
> The extent of all my worthless rage,  
> I'm not angry anymore.
> 
> I'm not bitter anymore,  
> I'm syrupy sweet.  
> I rot your teeth down to their core,  
> If I'm really happy.
> 
> Depends on the day,  
> If I wake up in a giddy haze,  
> Well, I'm not angry,  
> I'm not totally angry,  
> I'm not all that angry anymore."

Waverly opened the front door to find herself bombarded by the smell of Curtis’ legendary cooking. After the shaky and uncertain way things ended with Nicole, she was comforted by the scent she had learned to love so well. Following the trail of good smells, she traveled to the kitchen, finding Wynonna holding a plate over her head as she waited for Curtis to finish dumping the food on Gus’ plate. 

A sweet smile planted itself from the young girl’s lips, happy to witness a scene a few years ago she thought she would never see. She looked around the room to find where Mercedes must have been hiding but was surprised to realize that she was nowhere to be found. Wynonna rarely ever had dinner with the three of them if Mercedes  _ wasn’t  _ there. Before the older redhead spent time at the Homestead, Wynonna definitely wouldn’t share a meal with her family willingly. 

It bothered Waverly that Wynonna was uncomfortable by being with just her family, but she could tell that things were changing. Her older sister was in the best place she had been in since before the incident. As bummed as Waverly was about how she dealt with Nicole, this made her feel so much better. 

“Grab a plate, Wavey,” Curtis ordered with a warm smile on his face once he realized she was in the room.

Wynonna spun around to see her sister and she grinned at her. “Baby girl! You’re back! I was afraid I was going to have to eat alone with these old fogies.” 

“Who are you calling old, ‘Nonna?” Gus asked agitatedly as she sat down at the table, with the older Earp girl following closely. “I can still chop down any tree with an ax, little girl. And the last time I took you out to do that--” 

“I was so high I could barely tell the difference between a tree and a cigarette,” Wynonna joked, causing her aunt to hit the back of her head. “Ow. Okay, I deserved that.” 

Curtis and Waverly shared an exasperated sigh and shake of their head. The two women were so alike that it caused them to constantly butt heads. But as much as Gus and Wynonna could fight and get on each other’s nerves, they loved each other. It took them a long time to get to a place where they could joke around with each other. 

“Did you have fun today, kiddo?” Curtis asked Waverly as the two of them joined Gus and Wynonna at the table. 

She did. And she didn’t. But it wasn’t like she could say that. Things were too complicated for her to talk about it. She didn’t think her family would be upset with her if she was questioning her sexuality, but she didn’t want them to know she was struggling with it. She was always the stable one. She didn’t want them to think otherwise. 

“Yep,” Waverly told him vaguely, resulting in a questioning glance from Wynonna. She didn’t want anyone to interrogate her any further, so she changed the conversation by asking her older sister, “Where’s Mercedes?” 

Wynonna gave the younger girl a look that read ‘we will talk about what you were hiding later’ and answered, “She’s having dinner with her family tonight. Don’t worry, she’ll be over later tonight if she can.” 

Waverly almost spit out the water she was drinking. She choked and cursed Nicole for ruining her perception of Mercedes and her sister. 

* * *

Mercedes chugged what was left of a bottle of wine she had stashed in her room before heading downstairs to what she felt like was her doom. Her parents rarely requested her and her siblings for dinner, so this scared her. Last time they had a family gathering it was at court when her brother got off scot-free, much to her chagrin. 

She walked downstairs slowly, trying to take as long as possible. Finally, she reached the dining room (which she swore they hadn’t used in years) and sat down as far away as she could from Tucker. She would send him to jail immediately if her parents hadn’t threatened to send her to private school (which would be away from Wynonna) if she tried anything or talked to the police. But she preferred to sit next to him rather than her sister, Beth, master manipulator, klepto, and radical god worshipper. 

Her parents sat at the heads of the table: her father was staring at his phone and her mother was looking at herself through the reflection of her spoon. The sight caused the redhead to audibly sigh, causing everyone to snap their heads up and look at her. 

“Oh, you are present now, Mercedes. Good. Your mother and I have something to tell you,” Her father announced as he stood up, towering over the table as if he were trying to prove his dominance. “Evana?” He asked, looking at his wife to ask if she wanted to be the one to tell them all. 

She glared at him and muttered, “Just tell them, Richard.” 

“Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She is marrying the gardener. Ironic, isn’t it? She marries me, Richard Arthur Gardner, full of wealth and status, only to leave me for a poor fool who only owns a shed.” 

Mercedes could hear the bitterness in his voice. She was more surprised that he was angry than the news that they were getting a divorce. She never would have guessed he cared enough about her to give a shit about what kind of man she was seeing on the side. 

Evana scoffed, “Please, Dick. Don’t pretend that you don’t have a taste for women who are barely legal adults.” 

Beth looked like she was close to exploding. “What is this family turning into? He’s not going to like this. Oh, no he won’t. My parents, cheating, sleeping with people who they aren’t wedded to, and my sister having relations with women.” 

The redhead rolled her eyes and said, “Shut up, Beth. You don’t know what you’re talking about. And I love how you called everyone out but Tucker. The sexual perv.”

“Boys will be boys,” Richard murmured nervously as he took a sip of questionable alcohol. 

“That’s fucked up, dad,” Mercedes told him as she stood up from the table. “So, what? You’re divorcing. How will that change things? We can still stay here, right?” 

“For the time being,” Evana answered with a head nod. “I won’t be staying here. But… Richard and I decided it would be best for you three to finish the school year.” 

Feeling relieved and reassured, Mercedes said, “Great! Can I leave now?” 

Evana and Richard nodded, causing the redhead to leave the room, grab her jacket, and head over to the Homestead.

* * *

Doc carried the box of alcohol from the basement to the bar as Shorty helped the last few customers out of the establishment. He set the box onto the bar and replaced the empty bottles with the new ones. He was exhausted after a whole day and night shift. He told Rosita that he owed her for her help on Friday, so she told him that she would love to have the weekend off. He didn’t feel like he could refuse. 

“You doing okay, there, son?” Shorty asked as he pat the young adult on the back. “Hard day, huh?” 

Doc wiped the sweat off of his forehead and nodded. “Certainly been a long weekend. How have you done this for years? I remember when I moved here and you wouldn’t accept any help from anyone.” 

Shorty grunted and grabbed a beer before sitting down at the bar. “I did have help. Years ago though. Before you moved to town. Michelle Gibson used to help me run this bar. You and Rosita are great company, but that woman was somethin’ else.” 

The young western boy noticed the twinkle in the older man’s eyes and commented (more than questioned), “You loved her.” 

“I admired her,” Shorty told him with sincerity. “She was a hell of a woman. I coulda loved her, maybe. But she married a man and had three darling girls.” 

“Where is she now?” Doc asked as he took a seat next to him. 

Shorty shrugged and took a long sip of the beer. “I don’t have a clue. That’s the thing with women like her. Small towns sometimes aren’t enough for them. I don’t blame her for leavin’. I just feel bad for her kids. That family really hasn’t been the same since she left about ten years ago.” 

Doc understood that more than he wanted to. But he didn’t have much sympathy for her. “She abandoned her family.” 

“It was a lot of pressure for a girl like her. Some people aren’t made to be married or parents. She loved her daughters but… she didn’t know how to be there for em. Not that it’s an excuse. It’s just the truth.” 

The young adult sighed and shook his head. “She shouldn’t have married him then. If she didn’t want to be tied down, she shouldn’t have done it. She probably doesn’t even know how much damage she caused.”

Shorty shrugged and pointed out, “She fell in love, Henry. She thought it was what she wanted. She was blinded by what she thought she had to do. What society told her she had to do. It happens to the best of us. What your father did, it was cruel. What Michelle did was cruel. But they’re human beings just like us in the end. We don’t know what was going on in their minds. You don’t have to forgive them. But you should learn to accept it.” 

Doc wanted to tell him why he was wrong, but he couldn’t. Deep down, he knew Shorty was right. He knew that he needed to get over his anger and frustration with his father. He just… he didn’t know how. 

“I don’t know if I ever can, Shorty. I’m not a good person like you.” 

Shorty chuckled and shook his head. “Boy, you are made with so much good. You’ve just forgotten. Bad things have happened to you and you thought you could only handle it by being emotionless. But your Mama wouldn’t have wanted that. She wouldn’t want you to still be angry.” 

The young man wiped his guilty tears away and reluctantly accepted a hug from his mentor. 

* * *

Jeremy and his father ate in silence at the small table in the dingy kitchen that was rarely used. They rarely ate dinner together, but his father insisted, in his drunken state, to have a meal together. Which was odd since his father usually couldn’t stand the sight of him. 

“How is school?” His father asked as he shakily ate the burnt chicken that he attempted to cook. Jeremy offered to help, but of course, he said no. 

“I’m getting all A’s,” The teenager reassured him, hoping that wasn’t an incoming attack. 

“Good,” His father told him with a head nod. “That is good. You wouldn’t want to disappoint your mother any further. It’s good you got involved in the Chemistry Club. Your mother wants you to go to an ivy league.” 

Jeremy sighed, worried that his father referenced his mother in the present tense. Sometimes his father forgot that his mom was dead. Had been dead. For years. 

“How’s work?” Jeremy asked him, trying to change the subject from something that wasn’t himself. 

“They still don’t appreciate me there. But you and your mom need my money. One day I’ll quit. I’m telling you.” 

The teen nodded and said as quietly and pleasantly as possible, “Dad, mom… she isn’t alive. You remember that, don’t you?” 

His father narrowed his eyes at Jeremy and he gripped his knife that he was holding tighter before slamming it on the table. 

“Are you disrespecting your father, Jeremy? Your mother does everything for you, and you decide to make a joke about her? I didn’t want kids? Do you hear me? You wouldn’t be here if your mother didn’t want you.” 

Tears flooded Jeremy’s eyes, but he was stunned into stillness. His father scared him when he got like this. When reality broke. He was never close with his father (he and his mom were as close as could be) but it had turned to hate when his mom died. When his dad blamed him for her death. 

“Dad,” his voice quivered. “Mom died four years ago. I’m not joking. Should I call Dr. Lancaster--” 

“That bitch knows nothing!” He yelled as he got up from the table and threw his glass onto the ground, shattering it. “I’m not crazy! Where’s your mother? Goddammit, why isn’t she home yet?” He got from the table and ran to the front door and left the house. 

Despite knowing the kind of trouble his father could get into outside, Jeremy sighed with relief. A lot of the time his father’s anger was directed toward him, so he felt like he dodged a bullet. Grabbing a few snacks from the cabinet, he ran to his room and locked the door. Sometimes the lock stopped his dad from coming inside. 

* * *

Nicole opened her front door in hope to find food. After what happened with Waverly, all she wanted was some comfort food. Instead, she found her parents in the middle of eating a home-cooked dinner. This wasn’t the first time her parents forgot to feed her, but that didn’t make it hurt less. 

“Oh, Nicky!” Her father shouted as he started to laugh. “We didn’t know you were coming home for dinner.” 

“I reminded you guys before I left,” Nicole told them bitterly, feeling twinges of anger and sadness throughout every one of their fits of laughter. 

Nicole’s mother, Marissa, disregarded her daughter’s statement and commented, “Nicole, your father told me that he saw a boy drop you off at home on Friday while I was busy entertaining some friends in the kitchen. Do you have a boyfriend?” 

“He wasn’t dropping me off, a different friend of mine did, he just happened to be in the car. And no, we aren’t dating. Is there any food for me?” 

“Don’t be rude, Nicky. Your mother is just interested in your life. You can’t blame her for that.” 

Nicole almost snorted at the absurdity of that statement. Her mother wasn’t interested in her. She wanted the drama. She was still the nosey cheerleader from high school and Nicole was the geeky teen that her mother would make fun of. Nothing ever really changed. 

The redhead sighed, “I don’t have a boyfriend.” 

“It’ll happen one day,” Her mother told her, in what she must have thought was a kind and sympathetic way. “Maybe if you wear a little more makeup and shed a couple p--” 

“Please don’t finish that sentence, mom. I wanna pretend that you weren’t going to say that. I’m so tired of it. I already go to high school. I don’t want to come home to it too.” 

Marissa raised a surprised eyebrow as Nicole’s father didn’t look like he knew what to say. Her mother replied, “You can’t speak to me that way. You have been nothing but an ungrateful daughter. I would have killed to have good parents like us. We give you everything. Is it so horrible that I want you to be your best self?” 

Anger surged through Nicole like a spreading fire. She was used to this kind of slander and belittlement. It was all she had ever known. When she decided she didn’t want to wear the dresses her mom tried to force her to wear, she stopped being the child and became their emotional punching bag. 

“I  _ am  _ my best self. I have been for years. You just don’t accept my best self.” 

She wanted to yell at them. She wanted to scream. But she didn’t know if she was capable of it. She thought about Wynonna and Mercedes and what they would say to them. But she wasn’t ready for that. 

Not wanting to hear her parent’s further complaints, she swiftly turned around and charged for her bedroom. When she was back in her sanctuary, she found her stash of junk food that she had to keep hidden (since her mother was a freak about keeping her house ‘ fat-free’) and munched on food as she watched One Day at a Time on Netflix. She also pulled out her phone and texted Jeremy. She didn’t tell the other junior what was going on, but the conversation helped her nonetheless. 

* * *

Xavier and his family ate in complete silence. It didn’t bother him. This was how it had always been. His parents weren’t particularly warm people and rarely shared sentiments with him. Not that they didn’t care about him. He recognized that they cared about him enough to homeschool him. His parents didn’t trust other people to teach him about the world. They were very paranoid about the outside world. Especially when his sister was born, who turned out different than all of them. 

His mother cleared her throat before saying, “Xavier, your father and I have talked about it. After what happened Friday, we don’t think you should go out alone.” 

“You can’t be serious,” his sister, Eliza, said, causing everyone to turn to look at her. “You never let him do anything in his life. Can’t you at least let him hang out with his friends once in a while? All he has done is be your subservient son. Let him free for once.” 

Xavier glared at his sister. He loved her, more than anything, he loved her. But he did not want her to fight his battles that he was sure he would lose. He knew all this could accomplish was pissing his parents off and earning a punishment. 

“Do you agree with your sister’s nonsense, Xavier?” His father voiced, his cold eyes staring into his son’s, trying to intimidate him. When his son didn’t answer right away, he added, “Because I think your mother and I have been fair with allowing you to spend time next door with the other teenagers, despite one of them being  _ Wynonna Earp _ .” 

The teenager hated the amount of disgust was in his father’s words. He always knew his parents didn’t like Wynonna. She was audacious, bold, and witty. Three traits his parents hated and would consider disrespectful. But he always admired the brunette. Especially since he knew, even when he was younger, she was as lonely and as imprisoned as he was. 

But it wasn’t like he could tell his parents that. They would be horrified to find out that he related to her in any way. Besides they would easily dismiss the idea of him ever being lonely. His parents never thought friends were a necessity. 

“I won’t succeed if I don’t learn how to be sociable,” Xavier tried to reason with them. He had learned over the years that the best way to convince his parents of anything was to use logic. Feelings and emotions never did anything for them. “And I enjoy playing music.” 

“You said this before,” His mother pointed out as she stared at her son. “And we had agreed with you. But there is no reason for you to socialize more with them than you already do. And next door, we can watch you. Make sure nothing goes wrong.” 

Eliza snorted and said, “Just because he made friends doesn’t mean anything will go wrong. Jesus, don’t let him turn into the freaks that you both are.” 

The words quickly offended his parents, but they offended Xavier too. He knew his sister was just trying to back him up, but it was a fear of his to become his parents. He and his sister received the same parenting and yet Eliza turned into a storm. She was strong, ambitious, loud, and passionate. She grew up with tyrannical parents and acted out as opposed to Xavier who learned that the easiest way to survive was to follow orders. 

Xavier’s father stood up and pulled the plate away from his sister. Eliza barely flinched at the harsh motion, but Xavier did. The hairs stood up on his neck like his own body was trying to prepare him for what he knew was next. 

His parents were never actually physically abusive. They received only a few slaps from a belt from time to time, but nothing that they would have considered out of the ordinary. Not that they really had experience with other people and their parenting. Instead, their punishments were more of the psychological. 

His father tugged Eliza’s arm and dragged her kicking and screaming to the basement where she would be locked up for the night. Xavier wanted to get up and help his sister, but he knew it was pointless. That would only result in him getting the same punishment. And he hadn’t had a punishment in years. 

His mother continued to eat as if nothing happened. Eventually, she put down her silverware, turned to her son, and asked, “Can you pass the salt?”

* * *

Wynonna stared out her window as she listened to Mercedes snore in the background. She knew that something had happened to her that must have bothered her, but the redhead wasn’t too forthcoming. The sounds of Mercedes’ sweet slumber comforted her in ways she didn’t know how to describe. She felt peaceful knowing that even if she couldn’t sleep, a person she cared about more than life itself was. 

Sleep wasn’t something that came easy for the brunette. For about a summer, the only time she was able to close her eyes was when she passed out from the amount of alcohol she had consumed. That being said, she didn’t remember much from those few desperate and hollow months. 

After the incident, it wasn’t that she couldn’t sleep. It was more that when she  _ did  _ sleep, her dreams were so terrifying that she’d prefer sleep deprivation. She soon realized that a mix of no sleep, whiskey, and a variety of antidepressants really didn’t do her any good. She remembered that era with disdain and fury. She was mad that she had been so stupid and that no one seemed to bother to help. 

Nightmares turned into insomnia. She knew there were pills to solve that, but after some time in rehab and mental institutions, she was tired of taking pills. As much as she joked about it, she stopped doing drugs years ago. Alcohol… that was an addiction that was tough to break. But, to be fair, she wasn’t really trying. 

She wanted to be better. For Waverly. For Mercedes. For Gus and Curtis. Hell, even for Nicole, Doc, and Dolls. She wanted to be sober and good and be the kind of person that they needed and wanted. She just didn’t know  _ how  _ to be that person. She didn’t think she  _ deserved _ to be that person. She didn’t think she deserved them. She was always waiting for them to leave. She was always ready for someone to tell her that she wasn’t enough. Being close to Waverly and Mercedes was hard enough knowing that she might push them away one day. She was scared of people joining that list. Nicole was really close (and Doc and Dolls might as well have been a few steps behind) and that scared her. 

The change was slow but noticeable. She could tell that she became less dependent on alcohol for her happiness. She could tell that her past wasn’t always on her mind. She could tell the darkness wasn’t as demanding. She was terrified. The happier and more loved she felt, the more she knew she could lose. 

* * *

Rosita worked out until her legs felt like gelatin. She liked the burning sensation after feelings returned to her body. It made her feel real. Alive. 

“Thank god you’re done,” A voice called out, causing her to jump and topple out of the exercise bike. “Whoa there. It’s only me, Ros. You know. They guy you’re staying with.” 

After catching her breath and drinking some water, she apologized, “Sorry for the loud noise with the bike. I forgot you were here. At least I’ll be out of your hair in a few days.” 

He sighed and sat down on the couch in the damp and dank apartment that he owned. “I told you that you ain’t gotta leave. I’m not forcing you out.” 

“I know, Fish, and I appreciate it,” She thanked as she sat down next to him. “But I can’t keep doing this. I need to live on my own. And as much as I like and trust you, you’re still a part of the family. Staying with you… I feel tied to them.” 

“It’s who you  _ are _ , Rosita. You ain’t gonna be able to avoid it for long. Besides, we ain’t all bad. Your daddy still loves you. They’ll let you back in--”

“No,” Rosita stated firmly, taking the air out of the room with her sternness. “I don’t want back in. I’ve never wanted to  _ be  _ in. I didn’t get to choose my family, Fish. They don’t… they don’t understand me. And I like the person I’m becoming. But that person can’t be around any of you.” 

Fish shook his head with disappointment. “It wasn’t  _ all  _ bad, Ros. Remember when you were thirteen and we all went huntin’? You were so happy holding hands with your daddy and brother. We used to run around all day. Our parents thought we were gonna get married, you know that? We were always close. None of us knew what to do when you all moved away.” 

“I couldn’t help that.” 

“I know,” Fish replied, sounding defeated. “We just weren’t the Revenants without him. Without any of you. Your brother had to go and mess up everyth--”

“You can’t just blame it all on him,” She retorted aggressively. She hadn’t seen her brother in years but she hated it when people spoke about him as if they somehow understood him. “My dad raised him into the boy he became. He didn’t know better.” 

“But don’t you see, Rosita?” Fish asked before brushing his thumb gently against her cheek. “This town, if they find out who you are, they ain’t never gonna forgive you. Because even if you didn’t do it, your brother did. And you all ran away like you were all guilty. Nobody forgot what happened that night. And no one will.” 

She stared at him with bitterness and furious heat. He was the only one who took her in. And now she knew why. 

“I heard you hung out with the Earp girl,” He mentioned as he moved his hand to her inner thigh. “Do you think she will be your friend, Rosita? Do you think she can forgive you for what your family did? Or do you think she’ll never find out that your last name isn’t Bustillos?” 

She slapped him. Hard across his face, stinging her own hand. She wasn’t a violent person. In fact, she tried really hard  _ not  _ to be violent. But this was the last straw. She jumped up as he howled with pain and grabbed her go-bag. Stuffing her things in it as quickly as she could, she left the dark apartment and drove to the only place that she felt like could possibly be her home. 

It was late, she didn’t know if he would answer, but she hoped he would take pity. 

The door opened and he looked half asleep with his disheveled hair and boxers. He squinted to see who it was and then asked, “Rosita? Are you okay?” 

She didn’t realize she was crying until he said something. She wiped away her tears and answered, “Can I stay with you?” 

Without hesitating, Doc nodded and let her enter the bar. 

“Is there anything I can do?” He asked her with concern in his tired voice. 

Of course, she wouldn’t ask for help. But nevertheless, she appreciated the question and remembered that there was maybe some good left in this broken town that she used to call home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking about these characters all the time. I wanted to focus on all of them in this chapter. I hope you enjoyed this bittersweet chapter! Please let me know your thoughts! Reviews are cool! 
> 
> Thank you!


	14. To Noise Making (Sing)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The band's first gig!

Weeks had passed and the band had gradually created a steady routine. They rehearsed most days of the week and spent most of their time outside of music together, too (even if this meant that they were sometimes in separate groups). Dolls usually didn’t hang out with them outside of the garage (due to his parents' new rules) and Doc occasionally had work. Jeremy slowly integrated himself with the others. His relationship with Wynonna was still a little bit on the edge (mostly because of Wynonna's stubbornness and his fear of her), but he quickly bonded with Doc and shared a mutual respect with Dolls (Nicole, Mercedes, and Rosita were already his closest friends of the group). 

Now that their sound was something that they were becoming proud of, it all started to become real for them. They started building a set of songs that they loved. It was becoming so real that they started planning gigs, coming up with band names, figuring out SoundCloud, Spotify, and iTunes, and even began picking the outfits they would wear for future gigs. They were lucky to have Shorty, who immediately offered to let them play for his customers. 

Nicole and Waverly continued to meet on Sundays for ‘friendly’ outings. Despite them only being friendy, they still met secretly to get to know each other. Neither of them spoke about their conversation at the Ice House and their unsettled feelings for each other. Nicole wanted to give the brunette some time, and Waverly was still struggling to find answers. 

The gang increasingly spent more time at Shorty’s. They would say that it was to hang out with Doc as he worked, but none of them could really deny Rosita’s attraction. She had a kind of charisma and friendliness that charmed all of them (even Wynonna despite her rudeness). Though, as much as Doc liked having his friends around, he couldn’t help but want some time with the brunette alone. Even though she had started to live with him, he never felt like he had enough alone time with her. 

“I think you all should be called 'The Umbrellas,'” Rosita mentioned as she served her friends a variety of soft drinks (since Shorty was around they weren't allowed alcohol) and noticed that they were still arguing about a band name the day before their first gig at Shorty's. 

“You sound like Chetri,” Wynonna muttered as she rolled her eyes. “He still wants us to be called ‘The Broken Molecules.’” 

Rosita chuckled and said, “Not bad, Jeremy.” 

The young boy grinned at her appreciatively and then asked, “You’re coming to the first gig, right Rosita?” 

“Of course,” She told him and then added, “I’m working that night anyway. But I’ll be the loudest cheerer. Unless you guys suck. Then I’ll clap quietly with silent support.” 

Mercedes snorted, “Let me say, as someone that doesn’t play any of the music, they’re not bad.” 

“ _Not bad_ ,” Nicole murmured and shook her head with disbelief. “Maybe that’s what our band should be called. Don’t want to give anyone too high of expectations.”

“I’m sorry that none of you seem to have faith in us, but I think we’ll do great!” Jeremy said with overexaggerated pep. “But it will be a little weird if we perform tomorrow and we don’t have a name to introduce ourselves with.” 

Wynonna nodded in agreement and pointed out, “Let me just say, I’m still a fan of ‘Earpers.’ Imagine us going on the stage and introducing ourselves by saying: ‘we are the Earpers!’ And then inevitably, the crowd goes wild.” 

Nicole rolled her eyes and whispered, “Better than ‘Aphrodite and the Earpers.’ Just as egotistical, though.” 

The senior hit her friend and muttered bitterly, “I don’t hear you have a better suggestion. And when I mean ‘better,’ Haught, I mean actually better. Not some nerdy ass shit that you have come up with.” 

Rosita smirked and commented, “I think you guys are going to need some coffee since you won’t be making a decision for a while. I gotta get back to other customers, unfortunately. Be back in a bit.” 

Once the girl walked away from them, Nicole said, “I may not have the best ideas, but they are at least better than Dolls’ idea of ‘Black Badge Division.’ Whatever that means.” 

Mercedes nodded and agreed, “It does sound like a military program or something. But your best idea was ‘The Peacemakers’ so…” At Nicole’s glare, she added, “Fine. It’s not that bad. But a little fake, isn’t it? You’re all chaotic.” 

Jeremy let out a small gasp and muttered, “ _ The Chaotic Peacemakers _ .” 

That was it. Nicole and Mercedes immediately cheered and high fived, knowing that it was going to be their band name. They then hugged Jeremy and told him how awesome he was, causing him to gush and humbly declare that it wasn’t ‘all him.’ 

Wynonna stared at all three of them, blinking. Despite everyone’s involvement, she always thought that she would be the one to come up with the band title. She was annoyed and a little bummed that she hadn’t come up with it first, but also relieved that they weren’t going to have this conversation again. But she couldn’t just _tell_ Jeremy that. She enjoyed being hard on him, even though she didn’t totally dislike him. 

“Come on, Earp, you have to admit it’s cool,” Nicole pointed out as she nudged her stubborn and grumpy friend. “Don’t be so broody and cheer with us. This is a good thing.” 

“It’s… okay,” Wynonna confessed as she crossed her arms. 

“That’s like fucking good in Wynonna-speak,” Mercedes joked as she slapped Jeremy on the back, causing him to spit out his water. 

“Doc!” Nicole shouted over to the boy that was talking to fellow customers in the bar. Surprising herself, the bartender she used to dislike with a passion became someone that she could rely on and joke around with. Once he turned around to look at her, she shouted, “ _ The Chaotic Peacemakers _ !” 

The older teen let out a chuckle and nodded. Yelling back over the other customers who kept trying to get his attention, he shouted, “Text Agent Dolls! He’ll have a heart attack!” 

Nicole gave him a thumbs up before taking out her phone and sending the band member a quick text. 

**Haught-n-spicy:** _ Dolllllsssss we have a name for the band! The Chaotic Peacemakers _

**The Genius:** _ I came up with it!!! :)))))))) _

**X. Dolls:** _ I am not surprised Chetri. I hope none of you are getting wasted. We need to be sharp tomorrow if we are going to perform. _

**Wynonna-fucking-Earp:** _ Is that why your lonely ass is home and not here?!?! Youre afraid of getting wasted? _

**X. Dolls:** _ No. _

**Chaotic Bitch:** _ Feeling called out, D-Man? _

**X. Dolls:** _ I thought I told you not to call me that, Mercedes. _

**Chaotic Bitch:** _ You did.  _

“Are you all having conversations with each other on your phones?” Rosita judged as she sat down next to Mercedes and put her towel on her shoulder. 

“I was just telling Dolls the good news,” Nicole informed her with an excited smile on her face. “Jeremy came up with our band name.  _ The Chaotic Peacemakers _ .” 

Rosita smirked and said, “That fits. I’m really happy for you guys. When you all are extremely famous I hope you will let me get free tickets or something.” 

“Are you kidding?” Jeremy asked. “We’d let you tour with us! Who else would take care of us?” 

“Well--” Wynonna tried to interrupt. 

“I’m glad I’m good for something,” Rosita told him with a wink. “You guys haven’t had anything to drink tonight, right? Please tell me I don’t have to drive you home.” 

Wynonna rolled her eyes and said, “You were the one that refused to give us any drinks. We’re all unfortunately very sober. Mercedes was going to drive us all home.” 

“Good,” Rosita muttered with a head nod. 

“Speaking of…” Jeremy commented with slight embarrassment (he hated being a burden). “I really need to get home. My dad’ll freak if I’m not home by 9:00.” 

Mercedes nodded and got up. “Let’s hit it then, JC. Wynonna’s aunt and uncle don’t like it when I keep her out that long anyway. Little red-- you ready to go?” 

Nicole nodded and waved goodbye to Rosita (along with all of the others  _ besides  _ Wynonna). The group got up, paid for the soda and assortment of nuts that they ate, said goodbye to Doc and Shorty, and left.

* * *

Fridays at school were always tough due to the excitement of the weekend and lack of school for a few days, but this Friday was especially rough for the gang (that attended school). They were full of anxiety and excitement. Wynonna had to take several bathroom breaks to smoke, Jeremy ate nonstop, Mercedes snapped at every person she came across (she wasn’t playing music later that day, but she still wanted them to succeed as much as the others), and even Nicole didn’t raise her hand once or do any work. No one at school knew about their gig, and they felt lucky about that. Shorty’s wasn’t a teen scene and Shorty didn’t publicize the event. That didn’t stop their nerves, though. 

During lunch, Mercedes and Wynonna decided to take a drive. Eventually, after a long period of awkward silence, Mercedes pulled into a random parking lot and turned to her friend. 

“You’re going to do great tonight, you know,” the redhead told her gently as she held her friend’s hand. At Wynonna shake of her head, Mercedes said, “I’m so proud of what you have accomplished. It’s so obvious that you care about this. And that… that’s so good, Wyn. I haven’t seen you this excited and nervous in a long time.” 

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Wynonna admitted as she looked away from her friend with embarrassment. “I don’t want to fuck this up.” 

Mercedes sighed and shook her head. “ _ You _ won’t fuck this up. Because all of you are in this together. If you fuck up, you’re fucking up as a group. We’re a team. We rely on each other. And I know that’s scary for you. But you’re going to make it. Because we are here for you. No matter what happens.” 

With tears in her eyes, the brunette looked up into the redhead’s eyes. Carefully and quietly, she confessed, “I don’t deserve you.” 

Mercedes bit her lip and said, “I think I don’t deserve you either. But you know what, Wynonna Earp? Bitch, I think we deserve each other. Because in this fucked up world, we found each other. And that’s a lot better than most people.” 

Wynonna leaned in and kissed her friend slowly and softly. Before the kiss could deepen, she pulled away and told her, “I’m afraid of fucking  _ this  _ up too.” 

“I know,” Mercedes whispered and kissed her forehead. She then wiped her own tears and looked out the window. “I think we should get back. I’m going to get in-school suspension if I’m late again.” 

Ending the moment, they drove back to school in silence while at the same time, Jeremy and Nicole discussed their own fears. 

“I’m going to throw up on the stage,” he stated as he looked at the whole bag of Cheetos that he ate in the span of twenty minutes. 

Nicole rolled her eyes at his dramatics and muttered, “You aren’t going to throw up on stage.” 

Jeremy jumped up and said, “That’s because I gotta go throw up now!” He ran to the bathroom, leaving Nicole exasperated and slightly amused. She only found out today that he had a nervous stomach (which she blamed on his stress eating habits). 

As he did whatever gross thing he was doing in the bathroom, Nicole continued to scour his computer for other songs that he was showing her that he was working on. She raised her eyebrows at one titled “Robin.” Putting the headphones on, she listened to a slow (and obviously romantic) orchestral piece that he had obviously composed. 

The song was in minor and she could feel the sadness drowning in it. The song almost played like a story that was full of random moments of major but also diminished chords. Suspension with non-chordal tones filled the strong moments of ups and downs that Jeremy obviously had felt. The song ended with a half cadence as if it wasn’t finished. Nicole wiped the tears that had formed and looked up to find Jeremy watching with horror. 

“You found it,” Jeremy stated, sounding defeated. 

“I didn’t mean-- I didn’t know what it was,” Nicole tried to explain. “I don’t… do you want to talk about it? Is this about the… er… the Robin that goes to this school?” She didn’t know about the boy until a few weeks ago when Waverly talked about her best friend, Chrissy, and her friend’s boyfriend. 

Jeremy stared at her with shame and fear. “You weren’t supposed to find it. It’s pathetic, I know. I didn’t want you to know.” 

“That you’re gay?” Nicole asked gently as she pulled his hand so that he would sit down next to her again. “Jeremy, you should know that it doesn’t matter to me. Not in the slightest.” 

Tears slid down the boy’s cheeks and he murmured, “I don’t want to be. I don’t… I haven’t told anybody. How can you be so okay with it?” 

She wiped away his tears and wrapped her arms around the boy. She whispered in his ear, “Because I’m gay, too.” 

Jeremy pulled away and stared at her with disbelief and utter surprise. “You are?” He asked with hope in his voice. At her nod, he questioned, “How long have you known? Have you told anybody?” 

“I’ve known for a few years,” She answered with a small shrug. “And I’ve told a few people. Mercedes, Wynonna, and… and Waverly. You’re not the only one who likes someone that seems… unattainable.” 

“You like _Wynonna’s_ _sister_?” Jeremy gaped with wide eyes and dropped jaw. 

Nicole nodded with a blush creeping across her face. “We’ve been, uh, we’ve been hanging out every Sunday. And Wynonna has no idea. I think Waverly knows I like her. But she told me that she doesn’t know how she feels. Which probably means that she doesn’t like me. Which is fine, I guess. Since then things don’t complicate with Wynonna. So, what’s the story with Robin?” 

“When I moved here,” he explained slowly, not knowing exactly how to put everything to words. “He was the only one in my first period who was willing to show me around school. He was… so nice. And I’m just not used to that, you know? He even found me at lunch later that day and sat with me. He likes music almost as much as me. And he… he’s really sweet. And attractive. And… he’s dating the principal’s daughter. He kept trying to hang out with me for a week, but I didn’t want to ruin it. I didn’t want him to find out I was gay and into him.” 

Nicole understood that. “I’m sorry, Jeremy. It’s not fair. But at least we’ve got each other, right? And you’ve got the band, too.” 

That reminded Jeremy of something and he lit up with happiness. “Doc texted me that he and Rosita are going to pick me up so that they can dress me in something cool. They’re picking Dolls up too.” 

“Mercedes is doing the same for me. I don’t think they quite trust the nerds dressing cool, do they?” 

Jeremy laughed, feeling lighter and freer than he had in years, and said, “Nope.”

* * *

“Thanks for picking me up,” Jeremy thanked as he got into Rosita’s car. “Are we off to go get Dolls?” 

“Yessiree,” Rosita told him as she drove away and headed to another band member’s house. “Are you ready, Jeremy? This night’s going to go great, I can just feel it.” 

Jeremy nodded anxiously and admitted, “I’m excited to show people who we are. That we aren’t a bunch of weirdos and nobodies. I mean, it’s not like there will be that many people there, but it’ll be nice to think that maybe some perceptions will change.”

“I’m excited to see what you guys have come up with. Doc, here, told me that the set is still a secret. But I’m curious to find out if I’ll recognize any of the music.” 

“You definitely will,” Jeremy promised her. “Doc just likes to be melodramatic. And he probably wants to impress you.”

“Hey, Chetri! That’s the kind of input I don’t think the lady would like,” Doc growled immediately. 

“Oh shut it, John Henry Holliday,” Rosita muttered as she rolled her eyes. “You act all tough but we all know you’re a giant softie. Not that it’s a bad thing. Wanting me to be impressed is sweet. I like a good surprise.” She turned to him and gave him a smile and wink before pulling onto the side of the road where Dolls told them they would meet. 

Xavier's parents wouldn’t have allowed him to go out without parent supervision, but he really wanted to be at the performance. Eliza told him that she could help him sneak out without getting caught. It definitely wasn’t something he would normally do, but he didn’t want to let his bandmates down.

“Relax, dude,” Eliza told him in a whisper as they crept down the stairs. “I’ll tell mom and dad I slit my wrists or something.”

“That’s not funny, Eliza.” 

“Why do you think I’m always joking, Xavier?” She retorted and glared at him. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m trying to  _ help  _ you. This is like the first time you have ever asked me to help you. Let me do this my way.” 

He didn’t want to give in. He didn’t want her to get in trouble. He didn’t want to be selfish. 

“Maybe I’ll just stay home,” He muttered softly, as he looked down in shame. 

Eliza rolled her eyes and said, “Do you want me to slap you right now? Because I will. You’re being an idiot. You can’t stay home. You have a gig you have to perform. You have a life to  _ live _ , X. I’m doing this for you. Just promise me you’ll have fun and that one day you’ll introduce me to this ragtag group of friends you have.” 

He nodded and hugged her. She meant everything to him. He wished he could give her more than what he could. Really, he was counting down the days until she turned eighteen. Then, he decided, he would take her far away from there. 

“Stay safe, El. Don’t do something outrageous. I’ll be home as soon as I can.” 

She winked playfully before running to the opposite side of the house to create a distraction so he could escape. Once he heard his mother yelling, he charged for the front door and ran. Down the road, he found Rosita’s car. 

“I’m sorry that I’m late,” He apologized once he opened the door and climbed into the car. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Rosita told him with a kind smile, and he felt, somehow, she knew that he risked a lot coming. “Let’s just hope that I can find enough clothes that Doc has to clothe you both.” 

Jeremy grinned and asked, “You’re picking out our clothes? Doc told us--”

“Doc said nothing,” the oldest boy muttered, causing everyone in the car to laugh.

* * *

“Alright, naughty-Haughty, we gotta find you something to wear that isn’t lumberjack lesbian,” Wynonna said as she searched through her closet as Mercedes attempted to do the younger redhead’s makeup. 

Nicole glared at her friend and somewhat offended, asked, “What the hell is wrong with lumberjack lesbian?” 

“Nothing,” Wynonna told her honestly. “Except we are trying to look  _ cool _ today. Not gay. Though, I think we can make you look cool  _ and  _ gay. How do you feel about leather pants?” 

Ignoring Mercedes’ laughing, Nicole answered, “Not so good. I want to be able to move tonight.” 

Wynonna sighed and informed her, “If you can’t move in your leather pants, you are wearing them wrong. They’re actually really comfortable if you wear the right size. I’ll be wearing them too. I’ll sacrifice the fear of twining with you.” 

“Wow, so altruistic of you, Earp,” Nicole fired back with slight agitation. “I’ll try it on, okay? But no promises.” 

The brunette grinned at her as if she had won the battle. “Good. Mercedes has really changed your look, Haughtstuff. You could probably pick up any chick you want tonight.” 

Noticing that Nicole rolled her eyes with disbelief, Mercedes stated, “She’s right, little red. You’re hot. Smoky eyes, dark lipstick, any girl would be happy to let you push them against the wall. And that’s before you have put on the outfit that ‘Nonna has picked out for you.” 

Nicole blushed and looked at herself in the mirror. They were right. She looked incredibly different. So different, it almost scared her. Like she couldn’t recognize herself. But then, she felt  _ good _ . She could be someone else tonight. She could be the kind of person she always wanted to be. She could even flirt with her ‘bad’ side.

* * *

“Part of me wants to send you three back upstairs to put on some more clothes,” Gus said as she, Curtis, and Waverly saw the three band members come down the stairs. “But I know you won’t do what I say.” 

Wynonna was wearing her practically see-through shirt and tight leather pants (where it was obvious she wasn’t wearing any underwear), Mercedes was wearing a lacey dress that was so short it easily could have been a shirt despite the amount of cleavage that it showed, and Nicole wore leather pants, a white crop top, with a plaid shirt tied around her waist. They looked like they belonged on some rock album cover, which was their goal. 

“Waverly,” Wynonna said as she twirled around. “What do you think? If you were into girls, would you hit on us?” 

The young brunette turned as red as a tomato. She eyes immediately flicked toward Nicole whose heart started beating faster. The redhead was doing fine in this new facade until now with the brunette’s eyes all over her. 

Saving his niece, Curtis said, “You don’t have to answer that. Don’t make your sister uncomfortable, Wynnie. Let me ask for a final time, are you sure that you’re okay with us being there?” At Wynonna’s reluctant nod, he added, “We’ll have to leave right after you’re done, but you can spend some time with your friends afterward. Waverly, you can decide there whether you want to come home with us or Wynonna.” 

Waverly nodded and turned her attention away from Nicole. It took her all of her energy to keep her eyes off of the girl she already thought was the prettiest girl. This made things a million times worse.

* * *

It took a few minutes for the guys to stop staring at the girls and the other way around. They fit together, like puzzle pieces coming together. They looked like they fit the same picture. But once they all shut their hanging mouths, they laughed uncontrollably. They worked so hard for this, but they still couldn’t believe that they were here. That they made it to this moment. That things seemed to be working out.

“Are you all ready?” Shorty asked once he met the group at the bottom of the basement where they were all preparing. “The instruments are set up and the crowd is ready. I can give you a few if you need it, though.” 

Wynonna looked around at the faces she had grown to care about (and maybe even love) and found everyone smile and nod at her. They were ready. Well, as ready as they could be. 

“We’re ready,” She told him with confidence, causing Shorty to chuckle. 

“Great. Come up whenever you’re ready!” He ran back upstairs and the group heard the bar quiet down as if he was announcing something to the people. 

“Mercedes!” Wynonna muttered as if she had just remembered it. When the redhead was looking at her, she opened the box behind her and passed the girl a tambourine. “You’re in this band. I know you were just messing around with it during a few practices, but it’s yours. If you want to join us on stage and play along, we’d be lucky to have you.” 

The redhead stared at her best friend with awe. “You’re serious?” 

“Dead serious.” 

Mercedes shook the tambourine and shouted, “Let’s do this!” 

The band cheered and ran up the stairs. They opened the door to be met with clapping and cheers from the packed audience of Shorty’s regulars and Wynonna’s family. Rosita, like she had said, was the loudest supporter. 

The band found their way to the small, elevated stage where they set up and played a few notes to make sure everything was working. 

When everything was set, Wynonna leaned into the microphone and said, “Hey, everybody, how are you all doin’ tonight?” She was greeted with enthusiastic cheers and distinct whooping from Curtis. “I think we’re feeling the same way. We won’t take up your whole night, but we’ll be playing a few songs we’ve been working on. Oh, by the way, if you didn’t know, we’re  _ The Chaotic Peacemakers _ .” 

Out of the clapping and excited chatter, Dolls tapped his drum, generating a steady rhythm for them to play with. Doc then came in, hot and heavy with his guitar, causing the audience to start moving. Next was Wynonna, with her raspy and soulful voice that carried throughout the room. Nicole and Jeremy didn’t play much in the first song, so their job was to harmonize with Wynonna and add riffs when necessary. Jeremy also played the bass, which he was attempting to master. 

They seemed to have surprised the audience with the first song being “Slither” by Velvet Revolver. The older rock song was like a slap in the face to those expecting something modern and hipster. When the song was over, the audience erupted into shouting and clapping. 

The next song was played by the women. Piano, tambourine, and the voice of Wynonna passionately played the song “Black Sheep.” Playing felt like fire, and the women knew how to burn everything down. 

Nicole looked up to find Waverly staring at her, smiling and watching intensely. The redhead’s heart surged, and she played  _ better _ . The brunette might have been a distraction, but it reminded her of the strength she had in the moment. 

For Waverly, it was like a moment of clarity. Watching Nicole was like watching a goddess perform magic. She couldn’t deny her feelings. She couldn’t stop herself from feeling this. She wanted Nicole. Right then and there, she wanted her more than anything. 

Playing a Norah Jones song seemed inevitable. Especially since Wynonna’s voice sounded similar to hers. Choosing “Miriam” seemed like fate. It was a slower song, but they gave everything to the slightly creepy (and yet beautiful sounding) song. It was softer, so it shined the light on Wynonna even though everyone else was playing. It was the softer songs that were harder to play. Mistakes were more obvious. Despite a part where Doc played a little too loud, the song soared. 

“Life in the Doorway” was played fourth. This song was memorized since the beginning with Jeremy playing it as his first song. Knowing it so well, it went off without a hitch. They argued the most about the last song and what it should be. Some wanted it to be a cool down with a slow and steady rhythm, and some wanted it to be loud and fast. A bang to remember. 

“Itch” by Nothing But Thieves was a last minute addition, but it tied in the rest of the set so well. It started off soft and delicate, but the acceleration brought deep emotion and heavy beats that caused the audience to feel the music in their bones. Everyone played in this song, and everyone earned the spotlight at least once. It was powerful and unique and a hell of a song to end the night with. 

As the last note ended, it’s echo rung around the bar along with the sounds of cheering and screaming and clapping. The band huddled up into a group hug. Everyone was sweating (and possibly crying) and yet no one cared. This was  _ their  _ moment. And they were living it together. Nothing touched them. Nothing hurt them. They were living. Finally, they were living. They could all relate to the lyrics in their last song: “I just want to feel something real.” And here they were, finally feeling something real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know not a lot happens in this chapter BUT so much happens in the next one AND I will be posting it earlier!
> 
> These songs referenced in this chapter are super cool. You should all check em out! :)
> 
> Review if you have time or come find me on tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay or twitter @chaoticpeacemkr


	15. Be My Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly acts. And lots of things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter than normal since I'm posting it earlier but I definitely will be posting again next week with a more normal length chapter. Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy!

The band found Rosita first, wrapping their arms around their supportive friend who slowly became a key member of the group; a loyal ally who dared to think and live like them; someone who just wanted to feel something real. Even Wynonna hugged the girl, in turn putting down her walls for the split second (she didn't know what she had done until the bartender hugged the next person). Rosita congratulated all of them, like a proud friend that she truly was. Despite knowing them for weeks, they had become important to her. They were the first people she chose to love. 

Surprising the students at the high school, Nedley congratulated them next. They didn’t know he was going to be there that night, but Nicole and Wynonna weren’t surprised the principal was there. After all, he was the one who put them together. He designed this chaotic and beautiful creation. Wynonna couldn’t believe that she even thanked the principal. An authority figure, no less. A man she always felt she was at odds with. Now, she no longer considered him a bane of her existence. He brought her together with Nicole Haught. She knew, whether she would ever admit it or not, she would always be grateful. 

Gus and Curtis rarely felt pride for their older niece. It wasn’t like they didn’t see the potential in her (they did, even with all that had happened), but they didn’t think they would ever reach this point. Years ago, they thought that they had lost Wynonna. They attempted to love her, but after her refusing for so long, they almost gave up on her. They almost refused to take her back in. They thought they would never see her truly smile or be herself again. They were obviously wrong. And happy to be wrong. 

“We’re so proud of you, ‘Nonna,” Curtis whispered after he and Gus were introduced to the band and he wrapped his arms around his niece. “You truly seem like you belong on a stage.” 

“Thank you, Curtis,” Wynonna said sincerely and then turned to Gus. The two of them had never hugged. They rarely complimented each other. They used to barely stand being in the same room with each other. But things were changing. “Did you like the show?” 

“I would’ve preferred you to be wearing more clothes,” Gus joked lightly, not really knowing what to say. She was never good at this kind of thing. “You did a great job, Wynonna. To see you enjoy yourself… I’m glad I was here to see it. Your mama… she...er...she would’ve been so proud of you. Your voice is like hers, you know. But anyway, we’re heading out in a few. I’m going to talk to Shorty for a few minutes before we leave.” 

She and Curtis left Wynonna gaping. Gus’ words were meant to be kind and loving, Wynonna knew that. At least, deep down she did. But at the moment, she wasn’t feeling loved. At the moment, she was remembering her mom. Michelle Gibson, the woman who ran away from her family. Wynonna knew she wasn’t enough for her mom. And as she turned around and found her friends laughing and having fun, she realized she wouldn’t be enough for them either. People always told her that she was like her mom. The woman incapable of settling down, loving, and staying. A screw-up. 

Mercedes and Rosita were laughing about something. It wasn’t like Wynonna was jealous, per se. She knew that Mercedes didn’t have feelings for the brunette. But that didn’t matter. Because Wynonna knew that Mercedes deserved someone like Rosita. Someone better, less screwed up, and far more capable of love. 

And then, like it was some twisted fate, she caught him staring. A man in his twenties, she would guess, looking at her from top to bottom. She could see him trying to figure her out. She could tell that he  _ wanted  _ her. She smirked, knowing this was the kind of man everyone would tell her to stay away from. 'Stranger danger'. But unfortunately for her, danger was her middle name. 

She walked up to him and wordlessly took his drink out of his hands and downed it in one sip. She laughed and leaned over to whisper, “Let’s go to your place.” 

He took her hand and led her out of the bar, leaving her friends behind. She felt like the action in of itself was foreshadowing the future.

* * *

“Where did Wynonna go?” Nicole asked once she finally got a moment alone with the brunette that was watching her all night. It wasn’t the question she wanted to ask, but she really didn’t know what to say. 

Waverly ignored her question and tugged her hand to lead her out the back door to the alley. The brunette's head was rushing with scenarios of what she could do or how she could handle this situation. But her mind was swarmed with this one thought. 

“What’s up, Waves? Is everything oka--” Nicole was interrupted by the brunette pressing her against the wall. The junior felt the brick hard against her back, but she ignored it. She was transfixed by Waverly’s eyes that seemed to search her own. 

The younger girl pressed her lips against Nicole’s. It took a few seconds for her brain to register what was happening. Even though it was almost hesitant at first (Nicole was worried that Waverly was going to back away), the kiss quickly became intense, fiery, and desperate, like they were afraid of someone catching them at any second. Nicole moaned and Waverly’s lips seemed to hum in response. The brunette pressed her body against Nicole’s and her whole body warmed up in ways it never had before. 

This was what Waverly wanted. This fantasy of hers was playing out in real life and yet… it also felt wrong to her. She was supposed to be the normal one. The good girl. She was supposed to get married to a boy, have children, buy a house, and be normal. This, pressing a girl up against the wall where she wanted nothing more than to kiss every part of Nicole’s body was the opposite of normal. She couldn't risk everything for a simple desire and girl (especially when she convinced herself that this must have been a phase). 

She moved away. With tears in her eyes, she anxiously watched as Nicole’s face changed from surprised to confused to hurt. 

“I can’t  _ do  _ this,” Waverly whimpered, her body starting to shake as if it was breaking down. 

“What do you mean?” Nicole asked despairingly as she felt crushed and utterly mortified. “You don’t… you don’t want me?” 

Waverly did. 

And yet she simply answered, “No.” 

And with that, she ran. As fast as she could to get away from Nicole. 

The redhead collapsed with defeat and broken-heartedness against the brick wall, tears softly running down her face. 

“Did you see Wynonna leave with some du--” Mercedes started to ask as she opened the door to the alleyway. She stopped once she noticed that Nicole was crying. The older redhead approached the younger one and put her hand on her shoulder comfortingly. “What happened?” 

It took a few seconds for the words to form. But then, she confessed, “W-Waverly doesn’t want me.” 

Seeing Nicole break like that almost took Mercedes’ mind off of her own misery with Wynonna. She crouched down and wrapped her arms tightly around the other redhead’s allowing her to cry on her shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry, Nicole,” Mercedes whispered gently as she kissed the top of her head. “You don’t deserve this. I know how this feels and… I’m so sorry.” 

Nicole looked up and stared into the older girl’s eyes. “You and Wynonna?” 

“You know?” 

“I suspected.” 

Mercedes nodded and sighed. She didn’t think it was obvious, but she wasn’t surprised that the girl had found out. It wasn’t like she and Wynonna were subtle. But the last thing she wanted to think about was her confusing relationship with her best friend (and occasional lover). Her emotions were running wild, and the only thing that seemed to make sense was the bottle of liquor she had at her home. 

“Do you want to head back to my place with me? I have alcohol with our names on it.”

On any other night, the younger redhead would have refused, but this night was different. In the span of a few minutes, everything changed. She just played a song about wanting to feel something real. But now, all she wanted to do was stop feeling. Or, at least feel something different.

* * *

The second Xavier received a text from his sister, his mood shifted. He wanted to continue to dance (or in his case sway to the music) with Jeremy, Doc, and Rosita, but he knew he had to get home. He didn’t want to risk getting himself or his sister in trouble. He noticed that Jeremy stopped dancing and started to look concerned. 

“You okay, Dolls?” 

“I’ve got to get home,” He admitted solemnly, the words at the back of his throat as if he didn’t want to actually say them. 

Doc was about to say something when Rosita interrupted with, “I’ll take you home then. Jeremy, you’re happy to stay and I can come back for you if you--”

“I should go too,” Jeremy told her, giving her an appreciative smile. He didn’t know if his father would be home or not. Sometimes his father spent the whole night in the streets or at a bar (far away from Purgatory, of course, to prevent rumors). Sometimes he’d spend the whole night trying to find his mother. Or sometimes, on the worst nights, he’d come home remembering what actually happened to her. 

Jeremy tried to listen to Rosita and her never-ending compliments about how they did that evening. He wanted to chime in and talk about his efforts and abilities, but his mind was stuck on his father. 

Once he was dropped off, he slowly trudged his way back to his house and flinched once he noticed the lights were on. He opened the front door to find his father sitting there with a beer in one hand and a phone in the other. Immediately, his father dropped both items and ran up to him. 

“Jeremy, where’s your mother? She isn’t answering her phone. I thought she was picking you up from Emmon’s house.” 

The boy shook his head with tears in his eyes. He didn’t want to relive that day again either. He didn’t want to think about his mother or Emmon. Normally, he would try to gently explain to his father that he had forgotten what had happened. But tonight, he let the delusion continue. The boy wanted to rest. 

Like Jeremy, Dolls found his parents awake and in the living room waiting for him when he opened the front door. Unlike Jeremy’s dad, however, they were silent and unmoving. He would have preferred anything but this. 

“We would have expected this from Eliza,” His father finally said and shook his head as if he was disappointed. “But from you… after this long? You have the audacity to disrespect us?” 

“Where’s Eliza?” 

“Where she should be,” His mother snarled as she stood up and approached him. “She’s where you will be in a few minutes.” 

His father lunged and grabbed him by the shoulders. Xavier even surprised himself by wincing. Apparently, he had forgotten what his father's anger felt like. He hadn’t had a punishment in years. And as he was dragged to the basement, he remembered why he always followed orders.

* * *

Nicole wasn’t used to liquor (and it didn’t take much to get Mercedes drunk on it either) so she got wasted pretty quickly. The two women drowned their sorrows in alcohol and talked about their shared problems with the Earp sisters. 

“ _ She  _ kissed  _ me _ ,” the younger redhead slurred as she chugged more of the bottle. “ _ She  _ pushed  _ me  _ against the wall. And then she said she… she doesn’t w-want me.” 

“She’s crazy,” Mercedes muttered as she laid her head on her friend’s lap. “You’re a hell of a catch, Nicole. You’re hot, smart, actually cool. It’s not you. Anyone would be lucky to have you." 

Facts summed up in Nicole’s head like it was logical (even if in her sober state they wouldn’t be). 

“Mercedes, you’re right. We’re cool people. A little fucked up maybe. But people would want us. I…” Like a sudden light came on, it dawned on her. And with that light, a fire started. It surged through her, causing her to lean down and kiss Mercedes hard. 

It wasn’t like the kiss she had with Waverly. It didn’t feel like fireworks or sparks or something magical and cliche like that. This felt dangerous; hot and passionate and wrong in all of the right ways. 

Mercedes was surprised. But at the same time, she also wasn’t. Maybe she knew, deep down, that when she invited Nicole over to her house that this would happen. That her lips would end up on hers. That they would make this mistake. 

Deeper the kiss became. Deeper and fiercer. Fervent and furious. Sloppy and urgent. More tongue. More moaning. More fire. Deeper and deeper and deeper. 

Mercedes placed her hot lips on Nicole’s neck and sucked, earning herself a groan that was like music to her ears. The younger girl's skin tasted sweet albeit quite sweaty. It turned her on.

As her skin was being sucked, Nicole moved her hands around Mercedes’ body. It started innocent enough. She entangled her fingers in the older girl’s hair. Then, when she felt more daring, she moved her hands toward her chest and her thighs. It was new and natural and felt  _ good _ .  

Nicole knew what she was doing when she slowly unzipped the older girl’s tight dress. She then started to unzip her own pants, causing Mercedes to finally stop her. 

“Nicole…” Mercedes breathed out and looked at the younger girl with apprehension and worry. She wanted to know what the younger girl was thinking. What she was expecting. What she wanted. 

“Why are you stopping?” Nicole asked her weakly as her fingers fumbled to take off her shirt as the older girl continued to try to stop her by holding her hand tighter. “Don’t you want to continue? Don’t you want this?” 

Mercedes bit her lip, hating the pain she saw in the younger girl’s eyes. She didn’t know what to say. 

“Is it because I’m a virgin? I can… show me what you want. I’ll do whatever you want. I promise, Mercedes. It’ll be good.” 

“I know it would be,” The senior admitted as she turned away from the redhead, not able to look at her any longer. “But you don’t want your first time to be with  _ me _ . Your first time should be with someone special. When you’re not drunk. Your first time should be fun and awkward and with someone like Wav--” 

“But she doesn’t want me,” Nicole growled, tears filling her eyes faster than she could stop them. “And I want to feel something tonight that isn’t sadness and frustration. Is it me that you don’t want?” 

Mercedes shook her head, wiped the junior’s tears away, and kissed her softly and slowly. “Nicole... you have no idea how much I want this. It’s not you. It’s the regret I know that _you and_  I will inevitably feel. Because if we had sex, it would change everything. And you mean… you mean so much to me. I can’t lose you.” 

Nicole knew the other girl was right. On any other night, she wouldn’t have even thought about having sex with the other girl. She was just so caught up in the moment and wanting to get over Waverly that she thought this was what she wanted. But it wasn’t. 

“I’m sorry,” the younger girl whispered, ashamed of what she had almost done. 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Mercedes promised her gently as she brushed her hair. “You never have to apologize to me. Come on, Nicole Haught. Let’s go to sleep, okay? Let me hold you tonight. Neither of us should have to be alone.” 

Nicole nodded and the two of them slid under the covers. Mercedes wrapped her arms around the younger girl, spooning her, comforting her. Being there for her.

“Hey, Mercedes?” Nicole murmured quietly. 

“Yeah?” 

“I love you.”  

“I love you too.”

* * *

“I’m exhausted,” Rosita commented after putting up the last stool. “You guys pulled in a huge crowd tonight. Good for you guys, bad for me and my back.” 

Doc chuckled and led her up the stairs to the tiny apartment above. “I’m just going to crash. I don’t think I could stay awake for one more second.” 

She stared at him as he took off his clothes and crawled into his dinky sleeping bag that remained on the cold floor. She felt guilty. He was the one who originally had the room and yet he was kind enough to let her take it over. She wasn’t used to this. Having company that she didn’t despise or fear. 

Rosita got into the bed and eventually said, “Do you want to join me?” He stared at her with confusion and wonder, causing her to add, “I mean, to just sleep. I hate that I took your bed from you. And I don’t find you completely repulsive anymore.” 

Doc laughed but didn’t know what to do or say. It wasn’t like he  _ didn’t  _ want to sleep in the bed (he was tired of back pain) but he wasn’t sure about sharing it with someone like Rosita. Someone he cared about. He didn't want to ruin their friendship. 

“I’m kidding about me thinking you were repulsive,” Rosita muttered once she realized that he wasn’t going to reply or move. “I mean, you’re a guy, so a part of you already disgusts me, but you don’t suck like most of them. This doesn’t have to be weird, Henry. If you don’t want to, then don’t. If you’re comfortable with it, then I’m happy for you to join me.” 

Slowly, he got out of the sleeping bag and moved to the bed. Under the covers, he hugged the empty side of the bed, making sure that he didn’t invade her space. 

As both of them became drowsy on their own respective sides of the bed, Rosita asked the question that had been on her mind for a while. 

“Do you have feelings for Wynonna?” 

The question startled him, even in his tired state. He didn’t have an immediate answer for her. He hadn’t asked that question to himself for weeks. He of course still cared about Wynonna and felt a connection with her, but those feelings of lust and romance had dissipated since he had started to get to know Rosita better. He didn’t even really want her anymore. 

“No. I used to… but not anymore.” 

She smiled, glad that he couldn’t see her at the moment. She was never in a place where she could be herself like she could be with Doc. He didn’t judge her, he didn’t use her, he didn’t lie to her. It was like a breath of fresh air. She knew it was a risk. Getting close to someone was always a risk. 

“Good.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I'm sorry. I know you are all probably pretty mad at me BUT in my defense, when WayHaught really does happen, y'all will be more satisfied... :) 
> 
> Let me know what you think in comments or on Tumblr (@haught-n-cold-gay) or twitter (@chaoticpeacemkr)


	16. We Are Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole faces what she almost did. 
> 
> Waverly turns to someone else for help. 
> 
> The band continues to play, but their practice is interrupted.

The headache didn’t prevent her from remembering what she did (and almost did) last night. Waking up in an unfamiliar room was bad enough, but waking up to a flash of embarrassing memories really made her uncomfortable. Mercedes was still sleeping next to her. She considered even leaving the room just to escape without having to talk to Mercedes about their terrible night, but she recognized that wouldn’t be fair for either of them. She understood that the only way they would ever get past what happened is if they talked about it. 

Nicole didn’t want to interrupt her friend’s slumber, but the silence was worse. She didn’t want to live in her brain at the moment. She wanted to go home. Shower and wash away the dirtiness she felt. Pretend like she didn’t try to sleep with Mercedes after being rejected by Waverly. 

“Mercedes,” Nicole whispered as she attempted to shake her friend awake. 

The older girl groaned and wiped her eyes before opening them. She found Nicole staring at her and then looked down at herself. 

Realizing neither person was naked, Mercedes sighed from relief, and muttered groggily, “Thank god. Usually, I wake up with a girl and I find out that we didn’t stay clothed.” 

Her friend’s voice was extremely loud and hurtful to Nicole’s ears, but she tried to ignore her pain. “Mercedes… I--I’m sorry. For what I did. For what I almost did. I wish I could go back in time and change my behav--” 

“No, don’t do that,” Mercedes told her as stretched and sat up in her bed. “We both did it. We both made a mistake. A mistake that doesn’t have to mean anything. Because it didn’t mean _anything_. Because you are one of my best friends and we were both hurting and we wanted to feel better. What happened doesn’t change that.” 

Nicole knew that she was right. As weird as it was to think about how she made out with her and was willing to have sex with her, nothing really changed. And if they didn’t want it to be weird, it didn’t have to be weird. At least, she hoped that it would work like that. 

“Can we pretend like it never happened?” The younger girl asked the older girl with hope in her voice. 

Mercedes sighed and shook her head. “Probably not. We weren’t drunk enough for that. But we can recognize that what happened is okay. We are okay. Because we know the truth. We both desperately have feelings for two girls who are afraid to want us back and so we turned to each other in a drunken state. I’m okay with that reality, are you?” 

The junior didn’t know if she was okay with it. She wasn’t the kind of girl to kiss and have it be so meaningless. Not that she had feelings for Mercedes (she didn’t) but she still hated that she did it. That she kissed someone while feeling nothing. That she kissed someone just to feel some sort of pleasure after kissing someone that she truly had feelings for and got rejected. Going from person to person so quickly made her feel dirty. 

“I feel guilty,” Nicole admitted sadly and rested her head on Mercedes’ shoulder. “Why did we do this?” 

Mercedes started playing with the younger girl's hair and answered simply, “Because we needed comfort. And stupidly thought we could comfort each other in the ways we wished that Waverly and Wynonna could. I don’t want you to keep blaming yourself. Please try to stop feeling guilty. You don’t deserve to feel bad about this.” 

Nicole nodded and agreed. She then asked her, “What happened with Wynonna last night?” 

“She went off with some random guy at the bar. She-- I was right there. You know? I'm always right there. Arms open wide, waiting for her. I think in the back of her mind, she even knows it too. But she doesn’t want to admit it to herself that I want her. Not just for sex, but for  _ her _ . She can’t imagine that I want to be with her. I mean, I don’t blame her for her lack of trust. After everything that has happened in her life, trust has never been easy for her. But I wish she'd just listen to me. Anytime I’ve tried to tell her… it scares her. And so I’ve stopped trying in hope that one day she’ll just realize that I’ll never stop loving her.”

The younger girl stared at senior in awe. She thought that something was going on between two of her best friends, but she didn’t know it was this serious. 

“I’m so sorry. I feel bad for both of you. It sucks that Wynonna feels this way. But you don’t deserve this either.” 

Mercedes sighed and said, “Well, what can I say? The gays just love the Earp sisters.”

* * *

When she heard the door close early in the morning, Waverly could just envision Wynonna’s walk of shame. It happened pretty often, so she was used to the sound of her sister slumping up the stairs to her bedroom after sleeping with whatever nobody she could find. 

The young girl hadn’t slept at all. Once she got home (and avoided her aunt and uncle’s questioning as they drove her home) she started to sob. She hated what she did to Nicole. She hated the look on the redhead’s face once she told her that she didn’t want her (even if it was a lie). She hated how she liked the kiss and wanted more. She hated how she got swept under temptation, let it control her, and caused her to make a mistake. She hated that she didn’t follow the rules. She hated how she forgot to play her part. She hated that she has feelings for Nicole but can’t act on them because she just wants to be normal. 

She spent so long trying to be everything that Wynonna  _ wasn’t.  _ Responsible, smart, careful, caring, innocent. She wanted to change the Earp name. She wanted to erase what her family did so that she could have a normal life. She just wanted a normal life. And as happy as Nicole made her feel, having feelings or being in a relationship would be frowned upon by society. She would lose everything she worked so hard for all these years. 

She thought about Stephanie and Chrissy. Her two best friends who were beloved by the town and were known for their popularity and charm. Champ, too, was the town’s golden boy. He could do no wrong. And that, Waverly decided, was the kind of person she needed to surround herself with. It didn’t matter if she hated him. It didn’t matter if she didn’t like any of them. This was how she’d succeed. This was how she’d change the Earp name. 

An idea came to her mind as fast as every other thought swarmed her head. She grabbed her phone and texted the person she knew might be able to change things. 

**Waverly:** _ Hey, are you awake?  _

**Champion:** _ I am now  _

**Waverly:** _ Can you meet me outside my house? _

**Champion:** _ B their in 10 _

She put on clothes (or more of a lack of them) and tiptoed out of her room, down the stairs, and out of the house. She waited for him for a few minutes until she recognized his truck and shivered. 

He was grinning when he stepped out of the vehicle to greet her. She slowly approached him and then pressed him against his truck and kissed him. It was nothing like the kiss with Nicole. Not that she was horribly disgusted by it, but she felt no spark like she did with the redhead. It wasn’t fun or passionate, it didn’t make her feel good. 

“Does this mean you are finally my girl?” Champ asked her with a greasy smirk on his face like he somehow won. 

Waverly let out a fake laugh and told him, “Tell everyone I’m yours.”

* * *

Nicole knew it was a dick move to tell her parents that she was staying over at her friend’s house at midnight. She knew most parents would have been worried sick and angry over something like that. But when she entered her house after eating breakfast out with Mercedes, she wasn’t surprised that her parents seemed calm and unaffected. 

“Nicky!” Her dad shouted as he put his paper down on the table, immediately causing Nicole’s head to ache since she was still not over her hangover. “Glad that you are finally home. Guess what we saw on Facebook this morning. A friend of the Carstairs posted a picture from this bar that they were at yesterday. They were watching a gig with these teenagers playing. We were surprised to find you playing in this band.” 

“Why didn’t you tell us you were in a band?” Nicole’s mother questioned as she stared at her daughter with disbelief. 

The redhead glared at her parents and muttered, “Because I didn’t think you would be interested. Or think it was cool or something I should be doing.” 

Her mother rolled her eyes and said, “People think it is really cool, actually. Which, believe me, I found to be a surprise too. Rock bands are apparently cool now.” 

“I’m glad you think so,” Nicole remarked sarcastically. 

Her mother ignored her words and asked, “Do you like any of the boys in the band? They’re pretty cute. Especially that one with long hair.” 

Nicole groaned (especially at the idea of ever possibly finding Doc Holliday attractive) and walked away.

* * *

 

While Waverly was doing homework in her bedroom, Wynonna entered without bothering to knock. She had seen her sister greet Champ from her window early in the morning and the younger Earp had been in a weird mood all morning. Something was up with her younger sister. 

“Baby girl, how are you doing? Whatcha up to?” 

Waverly looked up and stared at her sister questioningly. “Fine…  just doing homework… which is something I recommend. Is there something that you need?” 

Wynonna frowned, surprised by her strange attitude. “I was just… I noticed that Champ was here this morning. You two seemed quite friendly.”

The younger sister glared at the older one and replied, “Like you can judge me. You were out all night probably contracting an STD. All I did was kiss him. And at least I  _ know _ him.” 

Wynonna gaped at her. She was completely astonished and taken aback. Waverly had never talked like this. The two of them might have not always been close, but Waverly had always been kind and supportive. 

“I didn’t mean to… you’re right. I shouldn’t judge you. I’m just… you’re my baby sister. I’ll always think that you’ll deserve better. And I want to keep you safe.” 

“Just because you couldn’t keep Willa or daddy safe doesn’t mean that you have to try to control my life.” 

Waverly said the harshest words she could think of. Not to necessarily be mean, but to push Wynonna away. The last thing she needed was to get closer to her sister. Doing everything she could to ignore the look of awe and pain in her sister's eyes, Waverly did the one thing she thought she would never do. She walked away.

* * *

Nicole spent the rest of her weekend doing homework and staying off of her phone. She ignored most of her sporadic texts from her friends (except Jeremy who had questions about their chemistry class). She received a few texts from Mercedes asking if she was okay and from Rosita asking if she wanted to hang out. She was normally pretty good at responding to her friends (in fact, she was the kind of person who’d stress out of  _ others  _ hadn’t replied to her quickly enough) but things were different. 

Mercedes had reassured her that things were okay between them, but she was still disappointed with herself. She couldn’t believe how the senior had forgiven her so quickly. For Nicole, what had happened was a  _ big deal _ . And yet-- Mercedes didn’t seem too bothered by it. She wondered if it was because of Wynonna and their relationship and how maybe Mercedes was already used to this line of friendship and something more than that blur. Nicole didn’t like the blurriness of the line. She didn’t like how she crossed it and almost burned it. She didn’t like how she could have ruined everything if Mercedes hadn’t stopped her. 

She couldn’t help but feel hurt at what Waverly did. But at the same time, as angry as she was, she was more frustrated with herself. That she somehow thought that Waverly could have feelings for her. That she somehow thought that she had a chance with the ‘girl next door.’ Blaming Waverly for her feelings would be the easiest thing to do. But she knew it wouldn’t be fair. 

Monday slapped her in the face. She wasn’t ready to see her friends at school again. She wasn’t ready to get out of her bed and face the world. She wanted to bury her head in her bedsheets and come out again when she was ready. But alas, she couldn’t miss school either. That just wasn’t who she was. 

She arrived at school earlier than normal to avoid seeing people that would normally try to meet her before school. For the past few weeks, she would find Mercedes’ car and sit with her and Wynonna before the last bell rang for the start of first period. She didn’t want to avoid them forever, she just needed a break. She needed to get better first. Even if that meant that she had to stay away for four long periods. She had band practice with them later, anyway. 

Her first two periods felt like hell. They dragged on and on and on. She felt like she could breathe again with her lunch period. Jeremy met her excitedly to talk about his reactions to Game of Thrones (despite Nicole never watching an episode of it). She let him ramble on about the show that she couldn’t follow. Normally she’d listen to his rants and jittery comments, but at the moment she couldn’t. 

As Jeremy talked about his favorite character, his arms animatedly flailed in the air and his spoon flew out of his hand and across the floor. Nicole immediately darted toward the spoon and crawled across the floor to grab the utensil. When she returned to her friend, she found Jeremy staring at her with disbelief. 

“What is it?” She asked him with confusion. 

“I may be a dweeb,” He muttered as he looked at her with more severity. “But I’ve seen enough TV to know what a hickey looks like.” 

Instinctively, Nicole reached for the greenish purple mark on her neck that she thought she had covered with her shirt. 

“Oh.” 

“Oh?” Jeremy questioned with sudden excitement. “Did you and Waverly… did she finally…” 

Nicole’s face fell. Jeremy couldn’t know that his words would hurt his best friend, but that didn’t make it less painful. Though, she didn’t even have the chance to respond once the answer to his question walked by. 

Waverly’s laugh rang in the air and caused everyone’s heads to look toward her. She was that magnetic. Usually, her charming laugh would have caused Nicole to smile (and blush) but this time it caused her to cringe. This was because she was laughing at whatever Champ was telling to her, as his arm was wrapped possessively around her waist. 

Nicole almost physically recoiled in disgust. Champ was the kind of douche that Waverly wanted to run away from. And now she was touching him. Letting him touch her. He was doing the things that Nicole wanted to do. And it wasn’t fair.

The sophomore’s eyes met the redhead’s for a brief second. Waverly didn’t appear to seem upset. She seemed to lack any emotion at all. Nicole’s friend didn’t miss the eye contact between both of them. She felt Jeremy’s hand reach for hers, but she barely registered the kind and comforting action. 

Once the brunette had walked away, Nicole put her head in her hands. She didn’t want the girl to see her cry, but now that she was gone, she couldn’t stop the water from forming and falling. Jeremy pulled her into a hug and held her close. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked her with complete sincerity. 

Nicole took a deep breath and nodded. She wiped her tears and whispered, “After we performed on Friday, she pulled me outside. She… she pushed me against a wall and kissed me. I thought she was choosing me, you know? I thought she realized that she wanted me. But then she stopped and told me the opposite. That she didn’t want me. That she couldn’t do it. She ran away and Mercedes found me outside. She brought me back to her place and we drank. And I… I stupidly kissed her. She stopped things before they got too… I was an idiot.” 

Jeremy couldn’t hide his surprise. He wouldn’t have guessed that Mercedes and Nicole could ever see each other as anything more than friends. But now that he thought about it… it started to come together. It wasn’t like he thought they would be a good couple or had romantic chemistry, but he understood how they could use each other. They were two girls who wanted to be loved, despite their fears, and confused one love for another. He could see how it could happen. They were similar, but also polar opposites. They understood each other, even with their stark differences. And that, he decided, was why they could find acceptance with one another. 

“You weren’t an  _ idiot, _ ” He argued truthfully. “You made a mistake. A mistake that you and Mercedes made together. But you didn’t sleep with her and neither of you have feelings for each other. Nothing has to change.” 

She sighed and nodded in agreement. “I know. And that’s what Mercedes said. I just feel bad. Guilty, I guess. I hate that I almost changed things. I hate that I almost had sex with a friend. I hate that I almost slept with someone because Waverly didn’t want me. That’s not me, Jeremy. I’m better than that.” 

Jeremy understood that more than she could know. He didn’t talk about Emmon often, but he found similarities in both of their situations. 

“What you did was human, Nicole. As teens, we feel like we need relationships so that we can find something that can define us. But we don’t need them. Pining after someone isn’t easy. Watching Robin snuggle with Chrissy every morning isn’t easy. You seeing Waverly and Champ every day won’t be easy. But we can get through it.” 

Nicole stared at him and was startled and impressed by his wisdom. “You say this like you know what it’s like to do what I did with Mercedes.” 

He shrugged vaguely, looked away from her, and changed the subject. He wasn’t ready to talk about Emmon. But he did know that one day he would. And that one day, he knew that the person he would talk about it with would be Nicole. And that she would be the person who would understand.

* * *

Waverly felt an odd sensation when her new and improved facade came face to face with her real identity inside of her. The war in her head between these two ‘identities’ was finally approaching their biggest battle. After meeting Nicole, her real identity had started winning. It was only now that her facade was in the lead. But once she saw the look on Nicole’s face once she saw her and Champ together, her real identity wanted to fight. But her facade successfully pushed back. 

“Slut! I thought you said you didn’t want to date Champ! You liar!” Stephanie cheered as she and Chrissy approached her at her locker. 

“Sorry not sorry,” Waverly muttered once she turned around to look at her friends. Stephanie looked proud and Chrissy looked concerned. 

“I thought you said that you didn’t like him,” Chrissy pondered in confusion. Her friend was really adamant about her understanding that she didn’t like Champ, and now suddenly they were dating. She could tell something was off. 

Waverly rolled her eyes. “I was just kidding, Chris. Jeez. Can’t a girl play hard to get sometimes?” 

Stephanie laughed and wrapped her arm around the brunette’s shoulders. “I’m liking you today, girl! I always said that you were playing this long game! I knew it! He’s like really into you. Despite you being an Earp.” 

The words tore inside of her. Stephanie was always saying that kind of thing. She was ‘cool’ for an Earp. ‘Pretty.’ ‘Nice.’ ‘Smart.’ She was all of these things that her family name somehow prevented her from being. And it wasn’t just Stephanie who noticed. Teachers would tell her how pleasant it was to have a ‘good’ Earp in their class. Her friends would tease her about being sweet, unlike her ‘violent’ sister. People would come up and tell her that they were surprised that she was so… normal. She liked being normal. It was easier. Less lonely. 

“My sister wouldn’t know how to date a guy like Champ. I don’t think she’s dated anyone ever.” 

Stephanie snorted and replied, “Of course she hasn’t! Guys like Champ are too good for her, no offense. Your sister scares away guys. Or, well, everyone. It’s not a surprise that she had to turn to girls for sex. Guys didn’t want her anymore.” 

The air was knocked out of Waverly’s body. Wynonna was her sister and Stephanie was talking about her as if they were their greatest enemy. Stephanie had always been homophobic. But she had never made a comment about her sister before. If Stephanie were to comment on Wynonna, it would be something about her drinking habits, her clothes, or her attitude. Stephanie never attacked her sexuality. And it hurt Waverly. Because it felt like Stephanie was attacking her as well, even though the blonde had no idea. 

Chrissy noticed the look of horror on Waverly’s face and started to say, “Whoa, Steph--” 

“I think my sister is boning Mercedes Gardner. They’re so lonely they have to seek each other for comfort.” 

Stephanie laughed her sickening witch laugh and Waverly felt like she was going to throw up. The words that came out of her mouth tasted toxic and bitter. But she felt like they were necessary. She felt like she had to attack her sister (and inevitably herself) so that she could get rid of that part of her. 

She always thought the Earps had a curse. A curse that made them different, despite how much they’d tried. They were alcoholics, cheaters, loud-mouths, and known for just being odd. Earps were the kind of people who’d start a bar fight, shoot a deputy, or get arrested for being drunk and disorderly. 

Willa, Wynonna, and herself did a good job as kids of not falling into those categories. Their daddy, Ward Earp, had even severed ties from those titles as well, being a cop himself. But everything changed that one fateful night. Her father and her sister were killed. And Wynonna? She succumbed to the curse. And Waverly? She promised herself she would never let that happen. Even if it meant destroying what she had with Wynonna. Because she never wanted to have to deal with that pain that the curse inevitably brought. She couldn’t deal with losing people that the curse killed. 

Waverly tried to be everything that Wynonna wasn’t. But Nicole had almost broken that. She became closer to her sister. She started to understand the older girl’s charms. That the curse didn’t necessarily bring harm but brought outcasts together. Nicole pulled her into her Earp side like she was daring Waverly to be different. To love differently. 

But in the end, she promised herself, all those years ago, that she wouldn’t let the Earp name control her. That she’d have a normal life one day, separated from the Earp name. That she wouldn’t have that dark cloud, the Earp curse, lingering over her. That she wouldn’t have to lose the ones she loved. 

If that meant she had to destroy what she had with Nicole, then so be it. If that meant that she’d lose her sister, so be it. If that meant that she’d have to be friends with Stephanie, so be it. If that meant that she’d end up marrying a douche like Champ Hardy, so be it.

* * *

Wynonna could tell that her sister was off. Waverly never blamed her for what happened to Willa and their dad before Saturday. In fact, their relationship was getting better. Wynonna stopped separating herself from her sister. She started to let her in. She started being the sister she wanted to be. And yet… Waverly walked away. 

It wasn’t like the older girl could blame her. Fuck, Wynonna blamed herself for everything already. It just hurt more coming out of her sister’s mouth. It brought back old feelings of hatred and anger. The kind of feelings she would drink or fuck away, just to stop feeling them. They were the kind of feelings that would spiral her out of control and would lead her to do something destructive. 

Waverly then ignored her for the rest of the weekend. Not that Wynonna was up to much talking at this point. On Sunday, she spent the day traveling from bar to bar. Once she’d get kicked out of one, she’d just go right to the next one. 

Finally, once she realized that she was too drunk to drive her motorcycle, she called Mercedes. The redhead oddly seemed wary about picking her up. She, Wynonna decided once the girl had arrived, was in a weird mood too. The brunette wondered if she was pushing everyone away at this point. That she had done something wrong to piss everyone off. 

“Get some rest and drink some water,” Mercedes ordered as she pulled into the driveway and waited for Wynonna to get out of her car. 

The brunette stared at her with confusion. “Aren’t you going to come inside? We c-can… you know…” 

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” 

And just like that, Wynonna got out of the car and trudged to her bedroom. As she passed her sister’s room, she thought she heard an odd sound. Like someone was crying. But then it stopped as soon as it started and Wynonna summed it down to her imagining it. 

She woke up with a hangover, but she had enough of them to know how to aid her aching head. Her sister was already gone by the time she had gotten out of bed. Curtis told her that Champ had picked her up. However, Waverly’s presence was replaced by Mercedes’, who looked gloomy and uncertain. 

The ride with Mercedes started off pretty quiet albeit intense. Wynonna, in her broody fashion, looked out the window and hummed to Damien Rice that was playing on the stereo. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t help you more last night,” Mercedes piped up somberly. “I should have at least made sure you were okay. I just… I feel pretty guilty about something.” 

Wynonna was confused. Most of the time it was the brunette who made the mistakes, not Mercedes. So this was really new. Immediately, the brunette thought of the situation that she feared the most. 

“Did you and Rosita--” 

“No!” Mercedes interrupted fiercely. “Oh, no. I’m not interested in Rosita. Besides, Doc’s got his eyes on her and she seems to like h-- no. I didn’t sleep with anyone. I stopped it before it got that far. I just wanted to warn you, I guess, if things are weird at band practice. I-- Nicole and I sorta kissed.” 

Truthfully, that was the last thing that Wynonna was expecting. Not only did it startle her, but the words also hurt her. She didn’t own Mercedes. She knew that and she knew it would be unfair for her to think that. But it didn’t make it hurt any less. Especially knowing that the person who kissed her was someone she trusted. 

“Oh. So… are you two… together?” 

“No,” Mercedes answered right away. “We were drunk and she was upset. She kissed me and I kissed her back for a while. But we stopped before things got out of control. We both agreed it was a mistake and I think things should be okay… but… who knows.” 

Wynonna immediately thought of the first time she and Mercedes made their first ‘mistake.’ They were sixteen, drunk, and in need of major comfort. The next day, they pretended like it didn’t happen. But a few weeks later, they did it again. And again. When they were intoxicated together, it seemed inevitable. They didn’t discuss it. It just happened. And then it started to happen when they  _ weren’t  _ drunk. 

“Do you have feelings for her?” 

“For little red?” Mercedes asked with trepidation. At Wynonna’s reluctant nod, she answered, “No. Nicole Haught is special, Wynonna. But I think of her as a family member. A best friend and nothing more. What I feel for her… it’s nothing compared to how I feel for you.” 

The brunette bit her lip. Mercedes made little comments here and there about them being together, but Wynonna wasn’t sure how she felt about that. She didn’t feel like she was nearly enough for the redhead. She knew that Mercedes deserved better. 

“Do you really think that Doc is into Rosita?”

* * *

“Hey, guys,” Nicole greeted once she and Jeremy got into the car with Mercedes and Wynonna. The air was a little tense, but it seemed pretty normal. But the younger redhead didn’t want there to be any doubt that she was okay. “I just want you two to know that Jeremy knows. And I’m sure you’ve told Wynonna already, Mercedes. This whole thing doesn’t have to be weird. Maybe one day we can even laugh about it.” 

“Oh, I’m already laughing about it,” Wynonna joked causing Jeremy to chuckle. The two of them fist bumped, causing Mercedes and Nicole to share a look of disdain. 

“Nobody’s judging,” Jeremy added with a grin. “We just find it completely hilarious. And I for one will continue to find it hilarious. Because if we can’t laugh at it, well then it really isn’t okay, is it?” 

The two ladies in question understood his point and eventually nodded in agreement. They were best friends. There wasn’t any reason for them to not find it funny and something they could laugh at. 

“So, Gardner, spill the beans,” Wynonna told her best friend as she began to drive. “How’s Haught-sauce’s kissing skills? Is she one of those soft kinds of girls or is she really intense and heavy?” 

Mercedes snorted and responded, “She has good skills. But other than that, you are just going to have to find out yourself. We’re still going to keep a few things between us, right, little red?” 

Nicole smiled at her appreciatively and replied, “Yep. My lips are sealed. But if you want to seduce me, Earp, I’m happy to allow you to try. I’m pretty hard to get.” 

“Uh-huh, is that a challenge I hear, Naughty Haughty? Because apparently all you need is some liquor and you open your legs. That doesn’t sound like a challenge to me. That sounds like a normal Friday night.” 

The young redhead rolled her eyes, slightly annoyed that Wynonna thought she was that easy to seduce when in reality it was because of her vulnerability which led to everything that happened that night. But she was also glad that Wynonna didn’t have any clue that those vulnerabilities were Wynonna’s sister. 

“Bring it, Earp. I want to see what you got.”

* * *

Dolls’ eyes were sunken and dark and nobody could ignore it. No one asked him what was wrong, they knew they wouldn’t get a straight answer if they asked, but that didn’t stop their concern. Especially when he constantly glanced at either his watch or his own house. 

His parents didn’t want him to hang out with his friends again after being caught sneaking out, but he argued that they wouldn’t stop knocking on their door and trying to figure out what happened. And with Wynonna being one of his friends, his parents were worried that they would be in danger if they were on her bad side. 

The band talked about their successful first gig and discussed their positives and negatives. Most of them were proud at what they had accomplished, but they knew that it wasn’t perfect and that there were a few things that they’d have to fix for the next time. 

As Doc started to talk about Rosita and her reaction to their first performance, a car pulled into the driveway. Bulshar’s car. 

Once again, Doc and Dolls quickly moved in front of the others, ready to fight if they absolutely had to. Wynonna’s breath sharpened, but she ignored the looks from her friends and the hand that Mercedes offered to her. 

Bulshar got out of his car, grinning from ear to ear. He caused Wynonna to growl, but her reaction remained mostly angry or irritated. But then another person got out of the car. A younger man this time, but looked obviously related to Bulshar. He was around twenty years old, good looking, and searching the group for Wynonna specifically. When their eyes met, Wynonna shivered and flinched back. 

“I hear that y’all played well,” Bulshar called out to the group of friends. “My old buddy saw you all. He asked me if I once had a girl stayin’ with me with the name Wynonna Earp. I told him I did and he said that you did a good job. I had to call Ian to tell him the good news.” 

Ian chuckled, causing fear to surge through Wynonna’s body. But she didn’t let it control her. This is something she had been waiting for. Coming to  _ this  _ garage, she wanted to come face to face with him. She wanted to show him that she wasn’t the same little girl when she first met him. 

“I remember when you were younger,” Ian muttered as he slowly approached the brunette. Wynonna started moving toward him as well, even though Nicole and Mercedes attempted to stop her. “You used to look at me like I was a God. You’d tell me all your little confessions and thought that I could absolve you of your mistakes. You told me all of your dirty sins and whispered sweet desires in my ears. I still think about you, Wynonna Earp.”

She was face to face to him now (ignoring all her friends behind her who tried to pull her away from the dangerous man) and looked at him in the eyes. She never thought she’d see him again. She never thought she’d have this chance. To look him in the eye and have  _ power _ . 

“I was a little girl,” Wynonna spat and stood up straighter. “I was thirteen when I first met you. And you were the first person to look at me like I wasn’t a killer. How was I supposed to know that you looked at me like I was an object you just wanted to play with? I was too young to know that you were using me.” 

He laughed and shook his head as if she was insane. “You’re still batshit crazy, Wy. I wasn’t using you. I was helping you. You wanted it just as much as me.” 

She hit him. She heard his nose crack and a small yelp travel out of his mouth before the sound of laughter. Ian looked around to find Wynonna’s friends get closer, ready to pounce if they had to. He turned to his father who raised an eyebrow and shrugged. He licked his upper lip with the blood that was coming out of his nose and smiled. 

“I see you still have the same temper.” 

He slapped her, but she barely moved. Like it didn’t touch her. 

Before Wynonna had the chance to hit him back, out of the corner of her eye, she found red hair fly past her, and she blinked, seeing Nicole push him to the ground. 

Bulshar jumped onto Nicole, knocking her down. Once she was on the ground, he started to violently kick her, but he was quickly stopped by a double attack from Doc and Dolls. As Jeremy attended to Nicole as she groaned in pain, Mercedes joined Wynonna by continuing to hit Ian with all that they had while Dolls and Doc tried to hold Bulshar back. 

The fight didn’t last long. Sirens approached the group and the police soon broke everyone apart. Wynonna was still kicking and screaming as the group of friends got arrested. Dolls’ parents then ran out and talked to the cops, convincing them to let Dolls go. 

Xavier watched as his friends were driven away by cops who didn’t understand what had just happened. He was angry. That his parents called the police. That his parents stopped him from getting arrested with his friends. That Ian hit Wynonna. That he let this happen knowing what Ian was capable of. That he didn’t stop this stupid decision of playing at the garage long ago when Wynonna first arrived, looking for the man who Dolls had suspected years ago of ruining her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are the best! Thank you so much for reading this story! Feel free to review if you have any comments! Or come find me on tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay or twitter @chaoticpeacemkr


	17. The Things You Keep From Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens in a jail cell stays in a jail cell... 
> 
> Waverly learns more about her sister, the Earp curse, and herself.

Wynonna was asked if she wanted to press charges, but after some inner deliberation, she decided against it. Though, she was surprised that they even gave her the option. Usually, the cops were less than likely to believe or even listen to whatever she had to see. She couldn't believe that the police actually recognized that it was abnormal for two grown men to get into a fight with a group of teenagers, despite how hard the Dolls’ parents tried to convince the cops that it was an attack purely started by Wynonna.

Since Jeremy wasn’t a part of the fight (he was making sure that Nicole was okay during the entire short conflict) and Doc was an adult who lived on his own, Rosita picked them both up and they were able to go back home. This just left the three girls behind to wait for their parents and guardians to show up. They weren't going to be prosecuted, but they were given a stern talking to. 

Oddly enough, even though they were in complete privacy, the three of them remained quiet (which was strange since they were usually so talkative). No one really knew what to say to each other. They were all somewhat angry with each other and themselves.

“Ear--Wynonna,” Nicole began suddenly, causing the two other girls to snap their heads up and look at her from opposite sides of the small cell. “Are you sure that you don’t want to press charges? Ian deserves a lot more than a good smack around--”

“You don’t understand,” Wynonna interrupted abruptly in a cold and aggressive tone, causing the younger redhead to cower back.

Mercedes sighed and shook her head. “Then _help_ us understand, ‘Nonna. Because Nicole literally got pushed down in a fight just protect you. We want to help you, Wynonna, but you aren’t giving us anything. Don’t you think we deserve a little bit of an explanation?”

Wynonna snorted and looked away. She was annoyed that her friends were looking for a story. A story that she didn’t want to tell. She felt like she didn’t _have_ to tell it. She hadn’t told anyone about it before, and she definitely didn’t want to tell her friends who she was sure would worry about her if they really understood what happened.

“We got arrested,” Mercedes continued once she realized that Wynonna wasn’t budging. “We had band practices there almost every day for longer than a month. This could have happened any of those days. We could have been attacked for weeks, and you knew, didn’t you? You knew that this guy was violent. And you wanted him to come. You wanted to stand up to him just like you did. This was all a part of your plan.”

Tears flooded the brunette’s eyes and threatened to fall. Mercedes was angry at her, Wynonna could tell. Even though the redhead was known for her temper and fury, getting mad at her best friend wasn’t something that happened normally. If Wynonna made a mistake, Mercedes was the first person to forgive and comfort her. But this was different. Because it wasn’t just _them_ in the garage. Nicole was there, too (and everyone else).

“I didn’t want you guys to join into the fight,” Wynonna mumbled with a quiver and slumped to the ground as she started to rock back and forth, tears spilling uncontrollably. “I didn’t want you guys to be involved. I didn’t want you to hear his words.”

Nicole could tell that Mercedes was going to yell back, so she gently grabbed her arm, stopping the older redhead from saying something that she would soon regret. _‘It’s okay’_ Nicole mouthed to her friend, letting Mercedes know that she was going to handle this.

The junior approached the senior on the floor and rested her hand on Wynonna’s back. Nicole knew something was wrong. And as frustrated as she was about the whole thing happening and that her whole body felt bruised, she knew that the last thing Wynonna needed was to be blamed. Especially by Mercedes who only seemed to be seeing red, not every other detail that Nicole hadn't missed. The older redhead wasn't thinking about the subtle remarks made by Ian which made Wynonna flinch or the comments he made that caused them all to shudder in disgust. Mercedes was ignoring all of that.

“Earp… he hurt you… didn’t he?”

Wynonna looked up into the younger girl’s eyes and tried to answer wordlessly. She didn’t want to admit it. She didn’t want to let her friends know how close Ian was to ruining her all those years ago. She didn’t want them to know that he broke her down and made her defenseless. She was always strong, at least, that’s how she wanted them to perceive her as. She didn’t want her vulnerability to ruin their image of her.

Nicole was smart. She didn’t need the words. Delicately, as if Wynonna was a broken sheet of glass one touch away from shattering, she wiped away the brunette’s tears and brushed away the hair out of her face. The brunette was trembling and all Nicole wanted to do was steady her. She sat down next to her and wrapped her arms around Wynonna, pulling her in as close to her as possible. Maybe, they both needed this.

It took a few seconds for Wynonna to register what was happening. That the young redhead she had just met a few months ago wanted to hold her. That Nicole wasn’t running away, even after being beaten by some stranger she didn’t know. It seemed almost unfathomable. That Nicole could be full of so much kindness and sympathy. That the redhead didn’t judge her. That Nicole loved her. 

Sobbing again suddenly, Wynonna choked out, “I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. I didn’t want him to hurt you. Not _you_. I’m so sorry.”

“Shhhh…” Nicole whispered as she kissed the top of Wynonna’s head and pulled her practically onto her lap to hold her closer. “You don’t have to apologize. Not to me. He’s a monster, Wynonna. I just wish I gave him more hell.”

Wynonna continued to cry and Nicole let her. The young redhead looked over to find Mercedes crouching herself, crying silently. The older redhead  _felt_ Wynonna’s pain and it caused her own hurting. Mercedes was horrified. She was horrified at what Ian did, at the trauma that Wynonna experienced, at the brunette’s years of silence, and Mercedes' own anger at what had just occurred.

The anger shifted; she was no longer mad at Wynonna; she was furious at Ian. At Bulshar. At the whole fucking situation that she couldn’t believe _she_ missed.

Pounding at the ground, Mercedes cursed under her breath, “I’m going to kill him.” Once the two others looked up at her, the senior’s eyes darkened. “For what he did to you, I’m going to kill him.”

The threat didn’t sound empty, and that scared Nicole, as much as she understood the threat. She felt Wynonna tense up.

“No,” Wynonna commanded weakly. “You aren’t going to do anything. What I did… it was fucking stupid. We aren’t going back to that garage. We’re going to pretend what happened didn’t happen. We’re going to forget all that shit.”

Mercedes stood up and curled her hands into fists. “He _touched_ you. He doesn’t deserve to live for what he did. You were thirteen years old for fucking sake!”

Wynonna slowly unraveled her body from Nicole’s and got up, still feet away from the redhead. “I know. But getting this angry, making these threats, it doesn’t help anything. That’s why I didn’t… I know that he deserves something horrible. But killing him will do nothing.”

“It’ll be justice--”

“It’ll be murder. And it will ruin your life. Hell, I know, speaking from experience. And I… I cannot be the reason that your life gets ruined, Mercedes. What he did… I can live with it. I _have_ been living through it. Yeah, it was through whiskey and pills for a while. But I’m doing so much better. Losing you, though… I don’t think I’d be able to _survive_.” Wynonna approached Mercedes and tugged the girl’s hand. “Don’t leave me alone for some righteous mission of yours. Let’s get through this together. Please.”   

Their fingers entwined and their bodies closened. Forehead on forehead, they were finally able to take a breath for the first time in hours.

“It must have been so hard… to keep that in for so long,” Mercedes whispered gently. “I wish you would have told me. But I understand why you didn’t.”

“I didn’t want you to think I was a victim. Ever. I don’t want to seem weak.”

Mercedes let out a deep chuckle and replied, “You’ve never been weak. You’ve always been a hardass. Nothing you say will ever make me think differently. I know you better than anyone. And I know just how tough you are, Wynonna Earp. But I also know you have a big heart.”

“I think she’s calling you a softie, Earp,” Nicole commented from behind them, embracing the warmth that entered the jail cell.

“She better not,” Wynonna laughed and smiled at her other friend. “Come here, Haught. I think we all need each other.”

The two seniors pulled Nicole into a huge, bone-crushing hug. Even though it was pressing against her bruised abdomen, she didn’t feel any of the pain. Not when she was in their arms.

* * *

Nicole’s parents picked her up first, after taking a picture of her in there and laughing about posting it on Instagram. Despite grumbling about having to go out of their way to pick her up from the station, they didn’t seem too concerned about what had happened and summed it up to be the life of a ‘rock band member.’ Nicole couldn’t really complain that they didn’t punish her, but she was slightly annoyed that they started becoming interested in her because of the band.

Mercedes’ father picked her up next. He was silent, apathetic. He wanted to talk about what happened less than Mercedes did. Then again, he was used to this kind of thing with Tucker.

Wynonna wasn’t so lucky with her guardians, but then again, maybe she was the lucky one. Even though they started to interrogate her on what happened, they at least _cared about_  what happened.

“You broke someone’s nose,” Gus murmured and shook her head as she drove the three of them back to the Homestead. “You haven’t done something like that in years. And it was at the Bulshar’s residence, no less. They took you in when you were a kid. And you repay them with a punch in the nose?”

She didn’t want to tell them. She knew it would break their hearts for them to find out that they placed their niece into the foster care system only to be left more traumatized.

“Darlin’, Officer Decker also said that the Ian boy said something to them which made her do it,” Curtis pointed out softly, to make sure that a screaming match didn’t start. “It wasn’t just Wynonna. Decker said that her friends were trying to protect her from the Bulshars. At least, that’s what her friends said. What happened, Nonna?”

“They tried to flirt with me. I wasn’t having it. I punched Ian and he slapped me back. Everyone came to my defense. I won’t go back to the garage.” It wasn’t a total lie, but it left out a lot.

Gus snorted, “Flirted, huh? Did you really punch someone for _flirting_ with you and expect no repercussions? That’s damn near stupid, Wynonna.”

Wynonna knew she could have fought back. But the last thing she wanted was to get into a fight with a woman who was already disappointed in her. She just wanted to crawl into her bed and wait for Mercedes to come to her in the night.

“You couldn’t understand,” The teenage muttered and pressed her head to the window. She was so tired.

Gus rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to retort, but stopped once Curtis put his hand on her knee. She looked up at him and he shook his head. She sighed but didn’t argue. They’d talk about this when they had time alone. Taking care of Wynonna was hard; they never knew when to punish her or help her (not that she’d normally allow them to do either).

Once the car pulled onto the property, Waverly ran out of the house. It was fairly dark now, but Wynonna could see the concern in her younger sister’s face. Wynonna muttered a few curses before getting out of the door and finding her sister running to her.

“Wynonna! Are you okay? Is-- is Mercedes okay? Nicole…?” Waverly stumbled through her words, not knowing exactly what to say. The second she had found out that Wynonna was arrested along with her friends, Waverly’s precious facade cracked. Ever since then, her mask has crumbled. She tried so hard to lose parts of her, but the fear of losing Wynonna… it put everything into perspective.

The older sister looked at Waverly carefully, trying to see what version of her sister she was going to reach at the moment. Her sister had tried so hard to hurt her recently, she couldn’t believe that her fear was genuine. Or maybe, she pondered, it was the most genuine she has been in days. But even so, it was hard for her to trust what was real.

“Everyone’s fine. I mean, Haught probably has bruised ribs and will wake up purple and blue tomorrow, but it’s better than the concussion we thought she had. Not like you care, though, right? Because isn’t that what you told me yesterday? That you, uh, ‘don’t give a shit about my friends.’ Real nice, baby girl.”

Waverly bit her lip. “I didn’t…” She couldn’t continue because she didn’t know what to say. She had been so horrible to everyone. Especially… “Nicole? What happened to Nicole?”

“She fought for me.”

Wynonna pushed past her sister and headed inside their house to her bedroom where she could be left alone with her thoughts.

It hurt Waverly to see her older sister so distraught and angry with her. It was so unlike their normal relationship. Her facade broke further. Waverly turned to her aunt and uncle who also looked upset and confused.

“What happened?” Waverly asked as the three of them walked into the house. “What was she talking about? Did Nicole really get hurt?”

Gus sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know how hurt Nicole got, Waverly. She was already gone by the time we got there. Luckily, no one is getting charged. That’s the most important thing.”

Waverly disagreed. “Well, what happened? Who did Wynonna hit? Who hit them? Were they at the garage when it happened? I thought they practiced at Dolls’ house.”

Curtis and Gus shared a look. Nobody had ever told Waverly that Wynonna spent a year in a foster home. No one ever told Waverly that Wynonna spent many months at different mental hospitals. Waverly only knew about juvie and that her aunt and uncle sent her to places where her sister could ‘get better.’ Which, wasn’t technically a lie, even though it was a lie.

“Your sister and her band never practiced at Dolls’ house,” Curtis began to explain as they all sat down at the kitchen table. “He lived next door to the house that your sister apparently practiced at. Not that we knew that either.”

Waverly furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean? Where did they practice at then?”

Gus and Curtis turned to look at each other again. They didn’t want to tell their niece about what they did, but Waverly was now old enough to catch lies.

“Her old foster home. Apparently, Wynonna got into a fight with her foster father and brother. They’d been practicing at the family’s garage this whole time.”

Waverly didn’t feel like she heard them correctly. “What? _Foster home_? Wynonna was never in a foster home. She’s lived with us.”

Curtis took the wheel now, better at explaining things like this. He was able to stay calm.

“Your sister spent time in a foster home for about a year. When she was thirteen. We didn’t tell you at the time because, well, you were eleven, Waverly. You were too young to understand our decisions.”

Tears sprung to Waverly’s eyes. “ _Too young?_ Too young to understand that you _weren’t_ sending Wynonna to a place where she could get better? What the hell? Why did you guys put her one of those?”

He felt guilty about the whole thing. It was Gus’ idea and he didn’t have any reason to disagree. It was a hard decision, but he thought it was the best decision they could have made at the time. But that didn’t lessen the guilt.

“We put her in one because the hospital wasn’t helping her. It was changing her. It did something to her… anyway. We got her out and tried to bring her home. But she couldn’t adjust back here. She refused to listen to us and we were… worried. That she’d do something to herself. That she’d do something to you. So… we sent her away. Truth is, we couldn’t handle her. From there, she was sent back to juvie for drug possession. We brought her home from there.”

Waverly couldn’t understand a word he was saying. It was like everything that he was saying changed everything she thought she knew. She thought that Wynonna was messed up because she was _Wynonna._  Because she was an _Earp._  But now… she realized maybe it was other things that messed her up. Things out of her control.

“Hospital…?”

“A mental hospital,” Curtis clarified. “She was doing outrageous things. The cops suggested it. She was out of control--”

“You gave up on her,” Waverly interrupted coldly and moved away from her relatives. “She thinks that she’s crazy because you let her think that! She’s never said a word of any of this to me! Why do you think that? Because all she’s ever done is try to protect me. She would never try to hurt me. Never. And I can’t believe…”

“We tried to keep you away from her,” Gus defended. “We didn’t want you to see how bad it got.”

“I can’t believe this,” Waverly muttered and walked away.

* * *

Mercedes knew not to talk about anything that she had found out when she met with Wynonna later that night. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk about it, she definitely did, but she knew the brunette well enough to understand that if she feels pushed about her past and her feelings, she’d close up. Wynonna was the kind of person to ignore her trauma so that it doesn’t hurt or affect others.

Instead of interrogating her, Mercedes held the brunette close and let her talk about whatever she wanted. Surprising the redhead, Wynonna didn’t want to do much talking. They spent most of the night listening to music, making out, and sleeping. Mercedes couldn’t blame her. This was Wynonna’s comfort and Mercedes was just glad that Wynonna wasn’t getting wasted.

The mood somewhat shifted, however, in the morning. Wynonna didn’t want to get out of bed. In fact, she begged Mercedes to stay in the room with her. As much as the redhead might have wanted to, Mercedes wanted to graduate and stay away from trouble; it was her last year of high school, after years of sporadic messing around and laziness, she wanted to end the year strongly. At least, with good attendance.

“Do you want me to tell your aunt and uncle?” Mercedes asked her best friend as she put on some of Wynonna’s clothes.

“Then they’ll know you’ve been here all night.”

Mercedes didn’t disagree with her out loud, though she was pretty sure Wynonna’s whole family knew that Mercedes stayed over most nights. She didn’t know how they _couldn’t_ know.

“Okay, I’ll sneak out,” The redhead told her calmly as she brushed her hair. “Do you want me to bring the band over after school?”

Wynonna shrugged and muttered, “Is there even a band left?”

Mercedes bit her lip and didn’t respond. She didn’t have an answer to that question. But it gave her an idea and a plan. She kissed her best friend’s cheek, climbed out of the window, and headed to the school to meet with Nicole.

* * *

“If she didn’t want to come to school today, will she be happy that I’m coming over?” Nicole asked as Mercedes pulled into the driveway of the Homestead after school ended. She quickly agreed to the older girl’s plan, but the last thing she wanted to do was piss the brunette in question off.

“She’ll be fine,” Mercedes told her without much thought. “Besides Waverly won’t be home. She’ll be at cheerleading practice. And Rosita’s coming later with all the instruments.”

Nicole sighed, giving in. She was already at the Homestead, so there wasn’t really a good time to turn back. When they knocked on the door, they did not expect Waverly to be the one who would open it. The young brunette looked at them with surprise too. Nicole immediately cowered back a few steps and considered leaving immediately.

“I thought you had practice?” Mercedes questioned with confusion.

Avoiding Nicole’s glances, Waverly answered, “I would… but with Wynonna… She doesn’t want to see me though. I was just about to go out.”

“Hmm…” Mercedes murmured as she thought about the situation and weighed their options. “I’m sure that ‘Nonna would let Nicole in. She can distract her while I do my thing. Wanna help me out with a surprise for your big sis, little Earp?”

Waverly wasn’t sure. She was planning on going to practice if her sister wouldn’t open up and she didn’t really want to hang out with Wynonna’s best friend (and lover). Despite knowing Mercedes for as long as she could remember they hadn’t really spent time together alone.

“I… I guess. What is this surprise? Will it be a lot of work?”

Mercedes glared at the brunette and said, “You used to be a lot nicer. Okay, move along, little red. We’ll be good here. Ros should be here soon. She’ll bring all the goods. Oh, and don’t spill the beans, Haught. You were quick to tell Jeremy about our naughty times.”

Nicole blushed immediately, at embarrassment at what Mercedes had mentioned (not so casually) and in anger from her saying it in front of Waverly. Though, what the younger redhead forgot, was that Mercedes did everything intentionally.

Before Nicole could retort, Mercedes grinned at Waverly (who was trying to not look horrified) and said, “Chop chop, little Earp. Let’s get a move on.”

“Where are we going?” Waverly asked as she followed Mercedes to the barn that was close to the house. “This place is creepy--”

Agitated and slightly upset that she asked the brunette to help, she muttered under her breath, “Little Earp, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you need to shut your cute little mouth for a few seconds and _trust_ me. I’m your sister’s best friend. I’ve been there for her longer than anyone. More than anyone. So trust me and help me clean this floor. At least… push the hay to a corner.”

Grumbling and cursing under her breath, Waverly grabbed a broom and shoved the remnants of hay and other crap to the wall. This was not how she thought she’d be spending her afternoon. In the depths of her mind, she did consider that this would be better than spending time with Champ or even Stephanie. She shook that thought out of her mind.

After minutes of awkward silence as they cleared the floor, Mercedes mentioned casually, “She deserves the world, you know. And for a long time, I thought that could be you. I mean, Wynonna thought the world of you. You’re her precious little sister and I thought I knew you pretty well too. Hell, I’d do anything to protect you. But what you did to Nicole… I can’t fathom it. I mean, I can. I understand your thought process. When I kissed a girl for the first time, the next day I slept with a guy. I get it, Waverly Earp. I get being afraid of feelings and desires and everything else. I get it. But you’re taking it out on a girl who cares about you. And that, darling, that is cruel.”

Waverly gaped at Mercedes, frozen in her stance. People were rarely this direct to her. She was known for being kind, so people refrained from yelling or degrading her. Not knowing what to do or say, she gulped and shuddered. She never thought that Mercedes would ever talk to her about this. She would have expected this from Wynonna, maybe, but from someone she barely knew? It seemed unreal.

“I’m sorry if I hurt her,” Waverly muttered in defense and diverted her eyes away from the redhead. “But I’m not lesbian like you. It was a mistake.”

Mercedes sighed and shook her head. “I’m not saying your lesbian, Waverly. Just because Nicole and I are doesn’t mean that you are. Sexuality is fluid, first of all. Second of all, you could be attracted to men and female or just people in general. And you were the one who kissed _her._ That kind of quick and sudden action comes from deep inside of you. I bet you barely had a chance to think about what you were doing. That’s desire, baby. And whether you admit it or not, it’s for Nicole Haught. And maybe she’s the only girl you’ll ever be attracted to, but it is how it is.”

Waverly clenched her jaw with anger, not wanting to admit that in any way Mercedes could possibly be correct. Not wanting to admit that every time the redhead said the name ‘Nicole’ her stomach surged with what only she could describe as static electricity.

Knowing that she wasn’t going to get the brunette to admit anything, Mercedes added, “Just keep that in mind. I know how hard it is to swallow. You don’t have to do it all at once. Sometimes we just need a slap in the face to let us know what we’ve done to fuck up.”

Luckily, Waverly didn't have time to respond as they were perfectly interrupted by the sound of a truck pulling into the driveway. The two of them found Rosita getting out of the vehicle.

“Hey!” Mercedes greeted and fist-bumped her friend. “Thanks for coming and bringing all of this. I don’t know how I’ll repay you and Shorty.”

“You know he’s happy to do it. He looks out for all of us. And after I told him what happened… he was happy to help us out. I do gotta go back soon, but I’ll help get the instruments.” She pointed to the back of the truck where the keyboard, guitar speaker, mic and speaker, and drum set had been placed.

Waverly started to understand what was going on now. “Oh, you’re setting the barn up for the band.”

“Yep,” Mercedes nodded. “No more band practice at the creepos’ place. It’ll be a nice change of pace. We only should have done it weeks ago.”

As they carried the instruments from the truck to the barn, Rosita curiously asked, “So what exactly happened? I got the short story from Doc and Jeremy, but they seemed too pissed to really talk about it. Is Wynonna okay? Nicole? I heard she got beat up pretty bad. Jeremy was worried about a concussion.”

“Yeah, they checked Haught for that pretty much right away. But once they declared she was fine, even though she was in a lot of pain, they just locked us up. I think Wynonna’s hurt. Angry. Embarrassed. She didn’t want us to know what happened in that house all those years ago.”

Waverly furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She hadn’t heard any of this. She was so tired of people keeping things from her to ‘protect her.’

“What do you mean?" The youngest girl asked. "What happened?”

The redhead frowned, hating that she went a little too far. She forgot that the brunette was right there. She knew Rosita wouldn’t ask about that kind of thing. The twenty-year-old was the kind of person to accept what happened without any judgment or need for dirty details. Waverly, on the other hand, wanted to know everything about her sister. Mercedes realized she should have known better.

“I don’t think it should be me that tells you…” Mercedes muttered as the three of them sat down after finishing carrying the instruments into the barn. Hooking the instruments to electrical sources would be a project for later.

“She won’t tell me. My aunt and uncle won’t tell me. I _just found_  out that she spent time in a foster home. What’d she do? Get into a fight? Steal? She’s always gotten into trouble.”

Rosita and Mercedes shared a look. Rosita didn’t know everything, but based on what her friends told her, she understood the implications. She didn’t know much, but she knew enough.

“I don’t know everything,” Mercedes confessed and sighed as she laid down on the ground. “Wynonna probably won’t ever tell us everything. She keeps that kind of thing inside. It’s annoying but… what she always does. Anyway, her foster brother, or whatever, was a dick. Nay, he was way worse. He did things to Wynonna. And I could only guess that the parents let it happen.”

Waverly stared at the redhead. The words broke her heart. Not only had Waverly blamed all her misgivings on her sister, but she was also the one who thought that _Wynonna did_  something wrong. And after ridiculing her for days, she felt horrible and extremely guilty.

“Oh god… I’ve been so mean to her. I-I blame all my problems on her. It’s easier for me, but it’s only killed her, hasn’t it?” Tears ran down her cheeks, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t believe how selfish she had been.

She thought Wynonna was the stem of everything bad that has ever happened to their family. She thought her sister had this curse, a disease like curse that Waverly tried to run and hide from so it wouldn't spread to her. She thought her sister was the reason her life went to shit. But now, she realized that these horrible things were done to _Wynonna_ and that she somehow survived. And somehow survived this pain alone. She hated the thought of how lonely her sister must have felt for years.

Maybe, she finally wondered as the group had fallen into despairing silence, maybe the curse wasn’t about being an Earp. That there wasn't anything about being an Earp that inevitably brought pain and chaos. Maybe, it was a curse that brought bad people to the Earps. She pondered if being Earp was even a curse after all. Because it was always others who had destroyed their lives. Not Wynonna. Not the Earp name.

“I’m sorry, I couldn't stop her! I'm a horrible liar!” Nicole called out from outside of the barn, snapping Waverly out of her aha moment.

The three of them stood up and was quickly met by the two other girls.

Wynonna stared at the inside of the barn with great intensity, and after a few seconds blurted, “What the hell is this?”

 


	18. Home of the Strange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna reacts to the barn. 
> 
> The gang visits Dolls to see what's up and learns something. 
> 
> Waverly apologizes to her big sister.

“This is the place where the band is going to practice,” Mercedes answered with a small shrug. “It’s our band, too, you know. We need this as much as you do.” 

Wynonna stared at all of them with awe and looked around the barn to see what they have accomplished. Her heart felt heavy; full of leftover doubt, but overflowing with hope and admiration for her friends. 

“Were you all really a part of this? What about the guys? Are they okay with this?”

Mercedes nodded and answered, “We weren’t able to talk to Dolls, obviously, but Jeremy and Doc thought it was a great idea. They both wanted to come but Jeremy said that he had to do something with his dad and Doc had his shift at the bar, so he sent Rosita in his place.” 

Wynonna turned to the older brunette and smiled at her. She wasn’t too sure about Rosita in the beginning, but she now understood that her worries were misplaced. Rosita was just as a part of the group as everyone else. 

“Thank you,” She told Rosita sincerely. “This… it all means a lot. You can come by anytime. You’re always welcome here.” She turned to Waverly and raised her eyebrows, surprised that her little sister was in the mix of friends. “Did you help too, Waves?” 

Waverly nodded humbly and apologetically mentioned, “I’m sorry I’ve been such a jerk lately. I’m so mad at myself. I’ve… I don’t really know what’s wrong with me.” 

The older Earp bit her lip and said, “Story of my life, baby girl.” 

They didn’t one hundred percent make up, but it was a hell of a start. The sisters wrapped their arms around each other, hugging for the first time in what felt like forever. For a long time after the incident all those years ago, Wynonna refused to touch her sister, afraid that touching her would harm her. It wasn’t like Wynonna stopped having that fear, but she realized that keeping her sister at arm’s length wasn’t protecting her either. 

Once they ended the hug, Wynonna pulled in her two best friends into a hug and eventually even dragged Rosita into the embrace. She normally wasn’t one to express her love for her friends and family, but this was different. They saw a fragment of her darkness and decided to stay. She needed to hold onto that. 

After spending some time with her friends, Wynonna decided to text the others about joining them when they were done with whatever they had to do. 

**Wynonna-fucking-Earp:** _ new band practice location: my barn. Come over dingoes and jam out with meeeeeee _

**The Genius:** _ Yas! Doc come pick me up when your shift is done _

**Gunslinger &ladykiller: ** _ you’re becoming bolder, Chetri, you didnt even ask. be there in a bit _

Dolls wasn’t one to not text back right away. He was never separated from his phone and never had plans, so the fact that he didn’t reply in a few minutes set everyone on edge. The group started texting him individually, but they didn’t get any responses either. 

When Doc and Jeremy showed up, there was a growing state of panic. They all knew how controlling Dolls’ parents were (Wynonna would describe them as overprotective freaks) and had no idea what could have happened after the whole ‘getting arrested’ incident. 

“We need to go check on him,” Wynonna stated sternly. “His parents are crazy. I remember there were some nights when I lived in the house next door that he looked so depressed. I mean, he’s always looked emotionless, but he sometimes seemed hollow. And there were nights that he wouldn’t sleep in his room. I need to go check on him.” 

“I agree,” Doc said with a head nod. “But I don’t think it’s such a good idea for you to go back to that place, Wynonna. I don’t know how vigilant the Bulshars' or Dolls’ family will be.” 

Wynonna saw his point but argued, “I know how to sneak around the area, though. I used to sneak out of the house. Not to see Dolls… but I know what to do.”

Her friends wanted to tell her that she was wrong, but they couldn’t refute that she was right. She was the one who knew the area. And, to be fair, she knew Dolls better than anyone. If anyone was going to get the truth out of him, they all expected it to be her. 

When no one said anything, Wynonna stated, “So that’s settled then. Waverly, do you mind staying here? It doesn’t have to be in the barn, per se. But just so that if he comes someone would be here waiting for him. Maybe he just doesn’t have service or something. Who the hell knows.” 

“I’ll stay with her, too,” Rosita commented and smiled at the youngest girl. “Too many people will just cause a scene. Besides, I haven’t really had the honor to talk to her.” 

“I’ll stay, too,” Jeremy said confidently. 

Wynonna smiled at her two friends gratefully and Waverly nodded and watched as the group of people huddled out of the barn and into Mercedes’ car. She really would have wanted Nicole to stay (she had some explaining and apologizing to do) but she understood why the redhead didn’t want to spend any time with her.

“So you’re friends with the group because you work at Shorty’s and is friends with Doc, right?” She asked Rosita and then turned to Jeremy. “And you’re friends with Nicole?” 

Jeremy stared at her and corrected, “She’s probably my  _ best  _ friend.” He made this look that she could only read as: ‘I’m her best friend, meaning I know every bitchy thing you’ve done.’ Waverly gulped and prepared herself for a long hour.

* * *

Meanwhile, the trip to Dolls’ residence was tense, to say the least. Not only did they know they were probably not going to stumble upon good news about his parents, but they were also worried about what Wynonna would do seeing her foster home again. They were surprised, however, when Wynonna purposefully didn’t look even in the direction of the house. She didn’t flinch, she didn’t cower away. She was on a mission, and nothing was going to stand in her way. 

Wynonna motioned at Doc to be the only one other than her to get out of the car and try to find/talk to Dolls. The two of them moved slowly through the darkness of the night, keeping their eyes open for any movement and anything that could possibly catch them. Wynonna led him to the side of the house, the side that matched the side of the foster home, where the windows of the two kids were across from each other. 

Dolls’ room glowed with light. He was inside. Wynonna threw a rock at his window and hoped that he would open it. 

Xavier heard the knock at his window and knew exactly who it was. He got out of his bed and made his way to the window. He opened it and found Doc and Wynonna muddled in the darkness down below. 

“What are you guys doing here?” He asked them agitatedly. 

“You didn’t reply to our texts,” Wynonna replied simply with a shrug of her shoulders. “We’re worried about you.” 

He sighed and shook his head. He never thought that these people would be his friends. He never thought that they would worry about them. The only thing he thought about when joining the band was protecting Wynonna, and since he couldn’t do that, it all seemed pointless. Especially since his parents were quick to punish him recently. He wasn’t allowed out of the house and he was sure that if they found out about this he’d be sent to the basement faster than he could say sorry. 

“My parents took my phone,” Xavier admitted. “But you guys need to leave. If they find out…” 

“Can we break you out of here?” Doc asked him with curiosity. 

Dolls stared at him questioningly. “No thank you, Holliday. I don’t need  _ your  _ help. Besides, that’ll do more harm than good. I’m sorry about abandoning the band. I just can’t do it. So please, leave me alone.” The words hurt coming out of his mouth, but he didn’t see any other way to handle it. 

Stunned, Wynonna was taken aback. She thought this would be a rescue mission. She didn’t think he would try to say goodbye. 

“Xav--”

“Goodbye, Earp.” He shut the window and turned off his lights. He didn’t want to talk to them any longer, and it was certainly made obvious. 

Doc and Wynonna stood there in shock. This was not how they thought everything would turn out. Not in the slightest. Slowly, they made their way back to the car, but as they passed the front door, they heard a sound. 

“Pssst.” 

The two of them turned around to find a girl coming around the back of the house. She was younger than Xavier, but none of them recognized her. 

“You two must be X’s friends. You’re Wynonna Earp, I presume?” She asked in a whisper as she approached them. At their nods, she added, “He shut you out, didn’t he?” 

“Yeah,” Wynonna told her as she crossed her arms. “What happened to him? Who are you?” 

She laughed and shook her head. “I’m not even surprised he never mentioned me. Like I’m some huge ass secret or something. The name’s Eliza. I’m Xavier’s sister. Listen, I’m sure he hasn’t told you what it’s like in our house. After the fight next door, he got in trouble. Like, big trouble. I mean, I get into it all the time, but it doesn’t happen to him.” 

“What are you trying to say, darlin’?” Doc asked her, confused now more than ever. 

“I’m saying that our parents are dicks. And I mean,  _ real  _ dicks. Not just the normal dicks that parents are. Their cruel, controlling. Things are bad, okay? And X… he’s eighteen. He can get out if he wants to. But I still am sixteen. I have two years left and he’s trying to wait it out… but he can’t. You need to convince him to leave. I can handle myself. I can survive without him.” 

They stared at her with awe and wonder. Xavier Dolls was living this life that they didn’t even know about it. It horrified them. 

“Look, I know that’s a lot of information. But I gotta go. Please, just think about it. Don’t give up on him.”

* * *

“Wow,” Nicole muttered after Doc and Wynonna revealed what they had learned to the whole group. “How did we not know?” 

“He probably just didn’t want us to concern ourselves with the matter. He’s a pretty independent dude. And he’s protective too. Protecting his sister must be his priority,” Jeremy commented and looked away from his friends, knowing what it was like to carry a secret like that along with you. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Wynonna said exasperatedly as she sat down on the stairs of the porch where everyone else was seated. “I want to help. I want to do something. Eliza… there has to be a way where we can help them both.” 

“Do you think Gus and Curtis would let them stay with us?” Waverly asked with concern, even though she barely knew the people in question. 

Wynonna lips almost turned into a smile, extremely glad that her sister was sounding more like her sister again. “I don’t know, baby girl. I’m sure they’d help us. But finding them a place to stay… I think that’s the least of our problems. It’s keeping the parents away that’s the toughest part.” 

“Well, why don’t we sleep on it and reconvene for band practice tomorrow?” Mercedes proposed gently, knowing that this was tearing everyone up inside. 

The small group nodded, got up, and headed for the vehicles. Wynonna and Waverly watched as one by one they left, leaving a vacant emptiness for when they finally vanished into the night. 

* * *

Jeremy’s place wasn’t too far away, but it was only a few minutes into the drive when the young teen murmured, “Oh my god.” 

Along the road was a disheveled man maybe two miles away from his house. Jeremy’s father looked angry. 

“Pull over!” Jeremy commanded immediately. 

“Who’s that?” Rosita asked as she pulled to the side and noticed a strange looking man walking along with his hands curled into fists. She turned to Doc and he shrugged as well. 

Jeremy growled, “My dad,” before adding without hesitation, “When I get out, drive away. As fast as you can.” 

“Bu--”

“Please.” 

Rosita with uncertainty unlocked the door and Jeremy practically jumped out. Even though it went against every fiber of her being, she drove away, not knowing what the hell just happened. 

“Dad!” Jeremy shouted as his father almost walked out into moving traffic. “What are you--” 

“Jeremy!” His father slurred as he ran over to his son. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Where’s your mom? Who were the people in the car?” 

The teen bit his lip and tried to hold his shaking father steady. Sometimes his dad did things like this. Sometimes his father was lost in the time where he and his mother were missing for days. Jeremy could hardly blame him. He’d prefer being stuck in a time when he didn’t know his mother was dead too. 

“Come on, dad,” Jeremy said as he tugged his dad’s shirt and pulled him along. “Let’s get home. We can talk then.” 

“But where’s your mom? I thought she was picking you up from your friend’s house?” 

_ Emmon _ . Jeremy shivered that name out of his system. The worst thing about having a father reliving his past was that Jeremy had to relive it too. 

At least this time, his father wasn’t violent. Just scared and drunk. A better combination than most days.

* * *

“Thanks for telling Waverly about our snogging session,” Nicole mentioned sarcastically as Mercedes drove her home. “I really appreciate it.”

“Oh, you should,” Mercedes replied with a grin. “I basically changed her world today, little red. You’re welcome.” 

Nicole was stuck between a glare and a confused squint. “What the hell do you mean?” 

“I  _ mean _ that Waverly was stuck. And I got rid of the glue. Or, at least, I starting picking at it. Either way, I think she understands that she made a mistake with you. And Wynonna. I think she’s been having a rough time. But did you see how she apologized to Wynonna? You’re probably next, little red. And then you’ll be smooching in no time.” 

The younger redhead rolled her eyes. “Who says I want to smooch her again? She hurt me.” 

“I know, dumbass. I didn’t forget. Hello, you kissed me. I was there. People hurt people. It happens. And we can choose to hold it in and control us or we can forgive them. Not everyone deserves forgiveness, it’s a choice. But at least let her fight so that she does deserve it, okay? Because I know how much you like her. And I know how much she likes you. Don’t give up just quite yet.” 

Nicole wanted to argue, but she knew that her friend was right. And the thought of hope, she had to admit, it was a good feeling. 

“Okay. I won’t. If you don’t give up on Wynonna either. Maybe we can both get the girl.” 

Mercedes smirked and shook her head. She didn’t know if she could believe it. She hadn’t given up on Wynonna. She never would. But would she always believe that maybe they could be something real? She didn’t know. 

“Maybe we can.”

* * *

Waverly knocked on her sister’s door with apprehension. She knew that she had a lot to make up for. She’d been a terrible sister for the past few days. And after finding out what her sister had been through and somehow blamed her for everything… it made her feel that much worse. She wished she had been there for her sister rather than doing all that she could to separate herself from her. 

“Come in.” 

The younger Earp took a deep breath before entering the room. She found her sister laying down on her bed strumming on the family guitar that they all shared. 

Awkwardly, Waverly stated, “I’m really sorry about your friend, Dolls. He seemed like a really good guy when I met him. Do you think-- do you think I could help him in any way?” 

Wynonna gently placed the guitar on the floor and moved over to one side of her bed so that her sister could join her. 

“I have to think of a plan first,” Wynonna told her honestly as Waverly sat down next her. “Helping him out would be no problem. It’s his sister that’s the problem. I want to save them both. Dolls would never leave her behind. I get that.” 

Waverly sighed and muttered, “You didn’t let me go to your practices because it was at that garage, right? You were trying to protect me.” 

The older brunette didn’t know how honest to be. “I was stupid, Waves. Yeah, I did it to protect you. But I forgot about everyone else and their safety. I just thought-- I thought that I could face them. And that no one would get hurt. But I guess it was just hopeful thinking. I’m sorry I left you out of all of it. I just thought… you don’t really seem like you’d want to hang out with my kind of friends. Your friends are the people that make fun of my friends.” 

Waverly shrugged. She couldn’t deny that. “My friends don’t understand your friends. Not that they are really my friends. I can’t think of the last time any one of them has said something genuine to me. I mean, Chrissy is as genuine as it gets, but she’s still in denial.” 

“In denial of what?” 

“I dunno,” Waverly answered vaguely. “She still thinks that high school is the epitome of our lives. That it’s the most important era of our own personal histories. I guess they’re all like that, though. I am too… to a degree.” 

Wynonna nodded and commented, “High school was nothing but a stepping stone to adulthood for me. I just wanted to live through it. So that I could eventually leave.” 

The younger brunette frowned slightly and asked, “Do you still want to leave?” 

Sighing, the older girl replied, “I’m not sure anymore.” 

That wasn’t a reassuring answer. Waverly bit her lip and admitted softly, afraid to say it out loud, “I don’t want you to go.” 

Those words confused Wynonna. “I thought you wanted me to go. I thought you wanted to live without being tainted with me around.” 

Tears entered Waverly’s eyes because at one point (only a little while ago) that  _ was  _ what she wanted. She didn’t necessarily want her sister to leave, she just wanted a clear separation. A distinction that she was nothing like her sister. 

“I don’t blame you,” Wynonna muttered noticing that her sister was lost for words. “I’ve done nothing but fuck up our family. I’ve done nothing but mess with your life. I think about it all the time, you know. What your life would be like without me in it. Daddy would still be alive and Willa… things would be so different. I wish I could change things for you.” 

Those were the thoughts that used to ring through Waverly’s head all the time. But out of her sister’s mouth, they sounded vulgar and harsh. She hated herself for once even thinking about it. Wynonna cared about her more than anything else and Waverly in return treated Wynonna like she was shit. 

“I don’t blame you,” Waverly whispered as she grabbed her sister’s hand to give her some comfort. “What I said to you a few days ago… I was in a bad place. I mean, I used to think it. But I’ve recently realized that it  _ isn’t  _ your fault. It’s not your fault that the Del Rey’s and the Revenants came to hurt daddy. It isn’t your fault that daddy wanted you to grab his gun and shoot them. It isn’t your fault that you  _ missed _ . And it isn’t your fault that Willa was taken. You were eleven years old. I couldn’t even imagine doing that stuff today. And then what you went through after… I don’t blame you.” 

Wynonna thought she would never hear those words. She used to repeat the opposite to herself as a mantra. She told herself that she was a bad person and was the cause of the family’s misery. But now that Waverly was saying the opposite… 

The older Earp pulled her sister in a hug and they collapsed into an embrace as they laid down on the bed. 

“I’m really sorry,” Waverly repeated and kissed her sister’s forehead. “I’m so afraid of being different that I’ve hurt you and our relationship. I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” Wynonna promised her sister. “I’m not easy to relate or talk to. I haven’t been the best sister in the world. I should have been there for you. I shouldn’t have protected you from the truth. I should have taken you in and taken you under my wing. I was so scared of ruining you, too. But instead, I just pushed you away.” 

Waverly smiled and held her sister tighter, threatening to never let her go. “We’ll be better for each other.” 

“Yes. We will.” 

The two of them talked and cuddled and slept side by side as sisters like they should have been doing for the past six years.

* * *

After dropping Nicole off, they ended up spending the evening together in the younger redhead’s room as they watched one of Nicole’s favorite shows: Hannibal. After watching a few episodes, Mercedes became slightly worried about her best friend’s well being but understood why she was so captivated by the show. Though, she was more captivated by Nicole trying to explain all the main characters, their faults, and their romantic interests. She enjoyed watching the junior rant about subtext and subplots; she was so passionate about it that Mercedes watched as Nicole contradicted and argued with herself since she had to one to talk about it with. She found it hilarious. 

“So you’re telling me that girl doesn’t know that her boyfriend is a cannibal?” Mercedes asked, purposefully trying to fire the redhead up. 

“Yeah, Alana’s a little dumb this season. But we forgive her. She’s a badass next season. She even ends up with a  _ woman _ .” 

Mercedes smirked and replied, “That is quite the upgrade. Then again, a piece of wood would be an upgrade to Hannibal.” 

Nicole rolled her eyes and continued to explain to Mercedes that she didn’t understand that Hannibal was a  _ complicated  _ character with feelings for the main character. The senior grinned as she watched her friend get worked up. 

“Fine, little red. I guess I’m just going to have to watch this whole fucking show so that I can come up with valid arguments to dispute your little theories.” 

Nicole smiled at her widely, surprised that her friend would watch the dark show just because she was watching it. She hadn’t ever convinced someone to watch a show that she loved. It meant a lot to her. 

“Thanks, big red.” 

Mercedes smacked her friend on the arm and said, “I told you not to call me that. I'm still considered ‘cool.’ Speaking of, I gotta go talk to the only other cool person on this planet.” 

The younger redhead didn’t have to ask to know who Mercedes was referring to. As Mercedes got up to leave, Nicole said, “Tell Wynonna I said hi.” 

“Will do,” Mercedes promised with a wink and left the house. 

The drive to the Homestead was a short one, but she reveled in her few moments of silence. She loved her friends, but the more friends she made, the less amount of alone time she had. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing. 

Following her nightly ritual, she headed to Wynonna’s window. Before she pulled the window open, she noticed that Wynonna wasn’t alone. Waverly was sleeping right next to her best friend and Mercedes couldn’t help but feel a rush of warmth. She wanted to comfort Wynonna, but she was glad to see that the Earp sisters made up and became closer than before. Mercedes wanted nothing more than for Wynonna to be happy.

* * *

“Should we talk about what we saw with Jeremy?” Rosita asked as the two of them crawled into the bed that they now both shared after the rest of their shift. The two of them went dead silent after they dropped the younger teen off on the side of the road where his father seemed to be crazily roaming. Both of them could relate to the mysterious scene in their own ways and didn’t know how to talk about it. 

“We cannot know what truly happened without talking to the boy in question,” Doc mentioned casually as he rolled over to one side, facing the wall instead of Rosita. “That could have been anything. And Jeremy hasn’t told us of anything that we should be concerned about.” 

Rosita harrumphed and retorted, “Would you tell your friends about your family?” She checked her phone and found that the messages that she had put on ‘do not disturb’ had amounted to more than three hundred texts. She had thirty-four voicemails as well. 

“My family isn’t anything to be spoken about,” Doc sighed and shook his head. “I had a father who didn’t want to be a father and a mother who died before she had the chance to see her son grown up. My father liked to take his frustration out on me and my mother tried to shield me away from his anger. If Chetri’s dad is hurtin’ him, I’ll notice.” 

She frowned and placed a comforting hand on his arm. “I wish your mother got to see the good kind of man that you have turned out to be. Then again, I think she does know. My mama used to hold me at night and tell me about how her father would speak to his mom every night even though she was dead. That he died saying her name and that they’re together, now, in heaven. I think my mom’s watching me. And I think your mother is watching you. I wonder if their paths have crossed.” 

He rolled over and looked at her eyes that were watering. He had never seen her this emotional and he didn’t know what he could do to help. 

“Rosie…” 

She wiped her tears away and thought about her options. She wanted to tell him everything: her whole life story. She wanted to tell him the good and the bad; she felt like he was the only person who could understand. She was afraid, though. Of that chance that he wouldn’t understand. That he’d look at her like she was different. That she was a monster because of the family that raised her. 

But it was killing her, keeping it all up inside. And she knew, deep down, if she didn’t let it out, it would destroy her. 

“Henry…” Rosita whispered as he caressed her cheek gently. “I’m worried that my family is going to find me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah... this story hits me in the feels. But it's aight, I'm aight. Tell me what you guy think! Enjoying it so far? Favorite scenes or chapters? Want to see more of certain characters or interactions with other characters? Let me know!


	19. Revival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosita tells Doc the truth. 
> 
> Wynonna asks Dolls what he needs. 
> 
> Nicole and Waverly have a conversation

Doc listened intently to Rosita’s whole story from start to finish. He held her when she started to shake and her voice started to quiver . She sobbed through parts of it and her tone darkened during others. By the end, it seemed like she was waiting for him to tell her that she was a monster capable of evil when all Doc saw was a girl who was forced into having a family she had no control over. 

“You’re not mad?” 

He furrowed his eyebrows. “At you? Never.” 

“I’m sorry I kept it from you for this long,” She whispered so quietly that she barely made a sound. “I thought you would see me differently.” 

“It’s not your fault who your family is. Just as it’s not my fault my father liked to beat me up for the hell of it. We don’t choose our blood relatives. All we can do is choose our family so that we don’t become them.” 

She smiled and nodded, slowly becoming more reassured by the second. But then a realization came to her and she started to frown. “I don’t want to lose you, John Henry. If they come for me… I won’t be able to get away. And I don’t want to lose my family.” 

He kissed her gently and slowly. Falling in love with a girl like Rosita never happened all at once. Not that it took long for him to fall, it was just a process. A process he thought, at the moment, was never-ending. And that for as long as he lived, he would never stop finding new things to love about her. 

“You won’t lose me. I’ll always fight for you.” 

She curled her hands around his shirt, pulling him even closer than he had been before. Her hand then moved to his hair and brushed it delicately as she stared into his eyes. 

“I never thought anyone would accept me for me,” She confessed and kissed him again. “I never thought I’d be able to feel this way for someone and have it the feelings returned.” 

He smiled and replied, “I was thinking just about the same thing.” 

* * *

Bailing school was something that Wynonna was used to; she barely remembered going to class at all in her freshman year of high school. It was risky (especially with her numerous warnings about getting a suspension) but she figured that it would all be worth it. She couldn’t exactly remember what exactly Dolls’ parents’ occupations were, but she could recall that they were gone during the morning. His father came home at an earlier time because he was a teacher or trainer of some sort, but that still gave her a window of time when both parents would be gone. 

She couldn’t stop thinking about him and his sister and the dreaded situation they were both in. She wanted to save them; she knew what it was like to need to break free from the chains of abuse. She just didn’t know  _ how  _ to help. All she knew was that she couldn’t do it without Xavier’s permission and help. There was no way he would get out without his sister, despite what Eliza wanted. 

Tossing a rock near his window again, she waited for him to open the window. He didn’t open up, but she saw him move around in the room. Rolling her eyes, she threw another rock. 

Xavier groaned and opened the window. He found Wynonna standing there at him with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. 

“You know you could have knocked on the door, right?” 

She narrowed her eyes at him. “I didn’t know if you would answer.” 

“So you instead throw rocks at my window which causes much more of a commotion in daylight and could literally damage my house?” 

Wynonna shrugged her shoulders as if she didn’t give a shit. “So are you going to let me inside your house or what?” 

He shut the window and she had no idea if that meant ‘go the fuck away’ or if he was going to open the front door. Surprising her, it was the latter. She grinned and walked into the house she lived next door to for a year. 

She was a little disappointed by how  _ normal  _ it was. Not that she was expecting it to be a cave with chains all over the walls, she just hoped it would have proved how dangerous his parents were. Instead, even though it was outdated, it looked like any family home. Well, as much as Wynonna could imagine a normal home would look like. She didn’t have a lot of experience with normal families. 

“Where’s Eliza?” She eventually asked as she sat down on the couch and put her feet up on the coffee table. 

He continued to stand and towered over her with his arms crossed with an irritated glare. “She’s in the basement. She won’t be coming up.” 

Wynonna didn’t know what to infer from that. “Do you want to go get her or…” 

“I  _ can’t _ ,” He stated and stood up straighter (if that was even possible). “There are cameras down there. And I haven’t figured out how to shut them off. Or hack into them. So it’ll just be us.” 

“Jeremy might be able to help,” Wynonna offered casually. “He seems like the kind of dweeb to know how to ha--” 

“I don’t want to involve anyone else about this,” He muttered in interruption. “You are already more involved that you should be. You  _ shouldn’t  _ even be here. Don’t you have school?” 

Wynonna shrugged and replied, “I don’t really like following rules or schedules. Besides, Dolls, sometimes outside help is good. They can help. We can… we can get you out of this.” 

He laughed and shook his head as if that was the funniest joke he had ever heard. “Are you hearing yourself right now, Earp? Do you understand how much of a hypocrite you are? The reason why the fight next door wasn’t disastrous was because we happened to be there. I’m sure you would have wanted to plan it differently. You wanted to be alone when Bulshar and Ian came so you could fight them yourself. And we both know how it could have ended.” 

Wynonna tilted her head to the side and tried to analyze what he was saying. “You knew, didn’t you? What happened in that house.” 

Xavier blinked several times in a row as if he was trying to remove eye contact purely by closing his eyes rapidly. “My window faced yours. I saw enough.” 

She bit the inside of her cheek anxiously and the blood that rushed in her mouth caused her to gulp. Nasty habit. “You did it, didn’t you? You were the anonymous tip. That called about me doing drugs. You knew it would get me out of there and into juvie.” 

Silence caused a long pause but he didn’t look away once. After the quiet minute, he whispered, “I hoped.” 

“ _ Why _ ?” She asked with the question clinging to her throat. She cleared it and added, “We probably didn’t exchange more than a few words. We didn’t know each other.” 

“Maybe I’ve always known you, Wynonna,” He said and then stuffed his hands in the front pocket of his sweatshirt. At her clear lack of belief in his reason, he sighed and confessed, “I didn’t have to know you to recognize the look in your eyes. Fear’s a universal language, Earp. I saw it in my sister every day. Hell, I see it in the mirror today.” 

Wynonna stood up and slowly approached him, as to not scare him away. She looked into his eyes. They were sunken and dark: bearers of violence and threats. She wanted to know what exactly made them that way. She wanted to understand. 

She gently reached for him. He cowered away, but she only continued to reach. Finally, her fingertips found his face. It was rough, as if he hadn’t shaved for a few days, and seemed unfamiliar to the sensation of touch. 

“What are your parents doing to you?” 

Xavier exhaled with a shudder and peeled her hand from his cheek and held it for a few seconds. “They won’t let me out. But it’s my sister I’m worried about. She isn’t like me. She doesn’t like to follow the rules.” 

That wasn’t an answer, but it was clear that he didn’t want to admit it. She let it go and asked instead, “What can I do? You need to get out of here.” 

“Not without my sister.” 

“I’ll get you both out. I promise.”

* * *

They say you shouldn’t make promises you aren’t sure that you can keep. But Wynonna knew, looking into Xavier’s eyes, that she would do anything to get them out (or die trying). Mercedes told her that she might have been projecting her past and emotions onto the situation. She couldn’t deny it, but she knew that wasn’t just it. 

“Eliza is Waverly’s age,” Wynonna told Mercedes and Nicole as the older redhead drove them back to the Homestead to practice after school. “I would do anything to get Waverly out of there. I know you both don’t quite have great home lives, but this is different. Mercedes, just imagine if it was Nicole in there.” 

Mercedes knew her best friend was right. She was just afraid of Wynonna becoming overly invested because of her past trauma. She wanted to help Dolls, but not at the risk of losing Wynonna. 

“Well, what can we do?” Nicole asked the brunette. 

“You sound just like Waverly,” Wynonna commented along with a sigh. “I dunno, Haughty. We don’t exactly have the room in the Homestead, but it’s not like I would think that my aunt and uncle would really want two strangers to live with us.” 

“Do they not want to go to the police or talk to lawyers or something?” Nicole asked with ferocity. This kind of situation was the kind of reason why she wanted to be a cop. To help kids get out of dangerous situations. 

“I asked him about that,” Wynonna told her as she looked behind her seat at the redhead sitting in the back seat. “But he’s afraid of being separated with Eliza. And I’m not sure he’s ready with the idea of his parents being arrested. They are his parents after all. Abuse or not. I think that they’re either going to have to run away or… we somehow convince their parents to let them go. And I have no fucking clue how to accomplish that.” 

Mercedes sighed and murmured, “Maybe the others will have ideas.”

* * *

“Is there a specific reason why you two picked me up today?” Jeremy shakily asked Doc and Rosita as they drove him to Wynonna’s. He tried to ignore the looks that the couple shared multiple times. He had hoped that they forgot about what they saw the previous night with his father. Though, when they picked him up, he knew that was wishful thinking.

After Doc seemed like he didn’t know where to start with the conversation, Rosita began with, “Jeremy, after what happened yesterday, we’ve become concerned about your father. He looked quite… confused yesterday. And angry, possibly.” 

“Oh, right. Well… er… I forgot to text him that I wasn’t going to be home right away. And he was trying to find me with the whole iPhone ‘find my phone’ thingy. He was mad because I didn’t text him. That’s all.” 

_ Excuses _ . Rosita and Doc knew them well and personally. They shared another look of disbelief. 

“You know, Jeremy, we all like to see the best in our fathers. They were our heroes growing up. It’s hard to come to terms with their… monsters.” He gulped and only continued because Rosita grabbed his hand and squeezed it comfortingly. “My father wasn’t prepared to be a father. He used to, uh, yell at me and tell me that I ruined his life. He’d then hit me for quote ‘screwing up my mother’s body.’ And things would only get worse when he had too many beers.” 

Jeremy sighed. He wasn’t annoyed that they were asking about this (in fact, he was glad that they cared enough to ask) but he didn’t want to explain to them that they just weren’t in the same ballpark. 

“I know what it looked like. He looked crazy, which he’s not. He just… he hasn’t really been the same since my mom died. He sometimes doesn’t recall reality. He’s stuck in the past. I mean, some days are fine and he’s lucid. But other days…”

Doc frowned and asked, “Does he hit you? Hurt you? Physically--” 

“Or emotionally,” Rosita added suddenly. 

Jeremy bit his lip. He wanted to be honest. He didn’t want to hide the truth anymore. But he was worried about the possible repercussions and possibilities that would inevitably come with a full confession. 

Finally, he admitted, “He doesn’t mean to be. He used to not be. He was the greatest dad in the world. It’s not his fault.” 

Doc understood that excuse better than anyone. And so he told Jeremy what it took him forever to learn. “Well, it isn’t yours either.” 

The junior didn’t know how to reply. Tears bubbled up in his eyes but he forced them away. The blame was always something so real, so tangible, like a literal curtain in front of his eyes that colored every single thought and decision. He blamed himself for his mother’s death, which in turn, meant he blamed himself for his father’s instability. Hearing someone else contradict that was foreign to him. 

“It’s okay if you can’t talk to us,” Rosita mentioned calmly and gently, noticing that the high schooler was on edge. “You should just talk to someone. Like Nicole or anyone else. I think she’d understand without any judgment.”

Jeremy agreed with her on that, but that didn’t change that it was still a risk. One that he didn’t want to chance. Though, he didn’t want them to know that. 

“I’ll talk to someone,” He fibbed and breathed a sigh of relief when they pulled into the Earp residence.

* * *

Waverly wanted to spend her afternoon with her sister and the band but felt guilty about abandoning her promise to help Champ with science. She had to admit that she enjoyed spending time with Wynonna’s friends more then her own. She didn’t know too many of them very well, but they were magnetic to her. Fun, loyal, assholes that everyone wanted to hang around (whether they knew it or not). 

She also couldn’t deny how much she wanted to see Nicole again. Despite feeling like she ruined a chance of a relationship, she hoped that she’d be able to at least have a friendship with her. The time on Sundays that she got to spend with her were some of her favorite moments in memory. And even if they couldn’t be anything more, she didn’t want to give any of that up. Besides, there was Champ. 

Champ with his chemistry jokes about them ‘having chemistry’ and that they were ‘bonded together.’ Cheesy shit she would have laughed about with any friend, but with Champ, annoyed the hell out of her. He was her boyfriend and she just couldn’t  _ stand  _ him. 

They studied for a few hours due to Waverly’s adamant persisting while Champ continued to douche and get her to make out with him. She grew tired of his antics and eventually decided to leave when she realized he was wasting her time. 

“I gotta go, Champ,” She started as she stood up and pretended to look at the time on her phone. “I told my Aunt and uncle I’d be home by five.”

“Wait, no!” He called out, pulling her wrist when she reached for the door. “Baby, don’t leave. We haven’t even had fun yet. My parents won’t be home until nine.” 

She stared, horrified. Angry with herself because she didn’t realize his intentions sooner, and disturbed by how he thought this afternoon was going. 

“Oh, no, Champ…” 

He held both of her wrists, almost tightly enough that it hurt. He continued to smile and laugh like they were just having fun.

“I love it when you say my name. You’re like, really hot. Come on. Let’s  _ do  _ this.” 

“No,” She repeated and tried to wiggle away, knowing what he wanted, and knowing exactly what she did  _ not  _ want. “Champ, stop. This isn’t funny. I have to go home.” 

He held her tighter and sat her down on the bed. He kissed her forcefully and tried to insert his tongue into her mouth. She shook her head rapidly to try to get her mouth away from him. 

“What are you doing?” He asked her. “I’m your  _ boyfriend.  _ I can kiss you. It’s my right.” 

Fury surging through her, she growled, “You’re  _ not  _ my boyfriend anymore. Now  _ let me go. _ ” 

He pushed her off the bed and she wobbled to get up. She wasn’t hurt, but more startled by the whole thing. 

“Fucking tease,” he muttered and crossed his arms. “The guys said you wouldn’t do it. Too pure or some shit. You sure you and Wynonna are related?” 

“Are you sure your brain is larger than a pea? Or is that your dick that I have mistaken? Don’t come near me again.” 

She ran outside his room and his house, down the street, and blocks away. Tears streamed down her face as she ran. She was shaking and felt nauseous because she  _ knew  _ how different that could have played out. 

Waverly finally had to stop and sat down at a playground. Since it was around dinner, it was abandoned, so she was able to collect her thoughts in peace, swinging on a swing. She didn’t want to come home to inevitable questions. Mascara ran down her face along with the redness. But she didn’t want to be alone. 

So, she texted the one person she wanted at the moment. 

**Waverly:** _ Hey, I know that I was really horrible to you and I don’t expect you to forgive me. But I need someone right now. I can’t go home and I don’t know who to talk to. Please.  _

She waited for a few minutes. And waited some more. Waverly thought she wouldn’t reply and actually stood up to leave when she got a reply. 

**Haught-n-spicy:** _ where are you?  _

**Waverly:** _ Deerfield park _

**Haught-n-spicy:** _walking there now,_ _be there soon_

She felt an immediate wave of relief and waited for things to get better.

* * *

The band rehearsed and jammed, but they mostly spent their time talking about Dolls and how to save him and his sister from their family. They discussed escape plans, police involvement, kidnapping, bribing, and even blackmail, but by the end up the rehearsal, they hadn’t really come up with anything solid. 

Besides, Doc and Rosita had to get back to work and everyone decided it would be hard to rehearse without Dolls. So they ended it early. 

As Jeremy, Doc, and Rosita got up to leave, Wynonna asked Nicole if she wanted to stay for dinner with Mercedes. The younger redhead, however, was glued to her phone and the text message she had received. 

“Earth to Haught,” Wynonna muttered as she poked her repeatedly. “Is everything okay? Are you staying or not?”

“Huh? Oh. Uh…” she didn’t know what to do. She stared at Waverly’s text with apprehension. She was still mad about how everything that had gone down, but after hearing Waverly and how normal she sounded in the past day, Nicole wondered if the real Waverly was back and really in need of comfort. 

“Actually, I’m going to skip it tonight. Sorry, guys. Parents texted me that I got to get home.” 

Wynonna and Mercedes complained and whined about it for a few minutes to try to get her to stay, but she eventually left and replied to the text, letting her know she was on her way. 

It took about ten minutes for Nicole to get to the park and she found Waverly right away. The brunette was swinging with tears down her face. It would have been hard to ignore. Nicole’s immediate reaction was to go over and give her a hug, but she had to refrain. She was here because Waverly was Wynonna’s sister. There were no other motives. 

The brunette was crying and looked obviously upset, but besides that, Nicole couldn’t help but think about how beautiful she was. It was the kind of thought that lingered as she neared and Waverly’s eyes found hers. She tried to ignore it.  But she wasn’t really capable of it. 

“Waverly,” she said more quietly than she had expected like it was a secret or something she wanted to ease into. She sat down next to her on a swing, not really knowing what to do. She wanted to hug her, comfort her through this obvious pain, but their relationship was complicated. And Nicole didn’t want to either make a fool of herself or make the brunette uncomfortable.

“I shouldn’t have texted you,” Waverly croaked as she tried to dry her tears with her the sleeve of her shirt. “I just… didn’t know who else I could talk to.” 

Nicole shuddered at the sound of her voice breaking. She wanted to reach out but she didn’t. 

“Wynonna?” 

Waverly bit her lip and shook her head. She knew that she had to explain what happened, but she was embarrassed. Embarrassed that she got herself into the situation by being with Champ in the first place and being embarrassed that it wasn’t something she wanted. 

“Wynonna just wouldn’t… understand. I don’t know.” 

“Well… then do you want to talk about it?” Nicole was confused and needed answers. 

Waverly didn’t know how to word it. “Champ he… he wanted to have s… I didn’t want to.” 

Nicole flinched and immediately froze. Her mind jumped to the worst case scenario. “Waverly… did he r--?”

“No!” She interrupted forcefully and shook her head profusely. “God no, Nicole. I don’t think he’s capable of that. I was able to push him away. I just…” 

The redhead didn’t hesitate. She reached over and grabbed the brunette’s hand. Nicole hurt for the girl next to her. As much pain as Waverly caused, it didn’t change what the younger girl meant to her. 

“Are you okay? I mean, obviously, you aren’t. But I-- is there anything I can do?” 

Waverly shook her head and answered, “No. I don’t even know why I texted you. After what I did… after what I said to you… You’re still so kind to me. I don’t deserve it. I chose to date Champ. I’m his girlfriend. I should have just given him what he wanted.”

Those words startled the redhead. “No one ever deserves what happened to you, Waverly. What happened between us… that has nothing to do with what happened. Champ was a dick. A gross dick who deserves pain. What happened to you isn’t your fault.” 

Waverly started to sob and confessed, “I was s-so scared.” 

Nicole got up and wrapped her arms around the brunette, trying to hold her together and keep Waverly from breaking. All she wanted to do was save her. Despite everything, Waverly was still in her heart and all she wanted was for her to be okay. 

“I’m so sorry,” Nicole told her. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.” 

“Even though I logically know it’s not my fault, that Champ is a frat boy jerk who wanted to use me, I feel like it’s my fault. That it’s what I deserve for what I’ve done. For what I did to Wynonna. To you. I tried to be the girl that would sleep with Champ. I tried to be her because I thought that would be the easiest thing that I could do. That it would create some normalcy or something. But all I’ve done is hurt people. And all I want to do is fix it. But I can’t go back in time. And I can’t fix  _ this. _ ”

Nicole stared into her eyes and saw what Waverly felt. Pain, loneliness, fear, desire. The redhead hadn’t realized how scary it must have been for Waverly to realize she was into Nicole. How lonely it must have been to go through that alone. And how simple it would have been to just push it all away. 

The anger dissipated. She was no longer mad at Waverly for what she did or didn’t do. Waverly was going through something. 

“Maybe you can,” Nicole whispered quietly as she placed her hand gently on Waverly’s face. “You still have a lot to figure out. I know how hard it is to figure out who you are and come to terms with it. You should have time to do that. Without sick fucks like Champ to screw that up for you.”

Waverly couldn’t believe it. She didn’t know how Nicole had forgiveness in her. The brunette thought that what she did was unforgivable. But then again, Nicole came. Nicole always came when Waverly needed her. 

The space between them got smaller as Waverly leaned in for a kiss, but before their lips could lock, Nicole pulled away. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” The redhead told her as she stepped away, afraid that if she became closer she’d give into temptation. “But you’re vulnerable. Which is good, you need to mend. But I can’t be in your way. Me being…  _ that  _ for you would just complicate things. I’m here for you. Just not as that.” 

It bummed her out, but Waverly understood and was thankful. She hated that she lost Nicole for so long and was happy to get her back in any way. 

“Can we do our Sunday meetings? Maybe we can get to know each other some more?” She offered with hope clinging to her voice.

Nicole wanted to say one thing. Her heart wanted to scream it out loud and fill the air with it. But everything else said no.

“Maybe one day. You need to figure out what you want first.”

Waverly opened her mouth to reply but then closed it. She wanted to tell Nicole that she did know what she wanted, but she knew that the redhead didn’t want her to speak impulsively. She wanted Waverly to think things through, be sure of herself, and feel satisfied with her decision. That wouldn’t be easy. 

But when Waverly walked Nicole home and she saw the redhead enter her house and close the door, the brunette was sure of what she wanted. She wanted Nicole in her life. Not just as a friend, but as something  _ more _ . Someone she can hold onto and talk to (and hopefully kiss when they had the chance). 

The fear was still there, but it was faint. The facade she was holding onto disappeared. The desire for normalcy didn’t amount to anything quite like what she felt for Nicole. In fact, the junior  _ made  _ her feel normal. Like what they were doing was normal. Because, she knew deep down, that it wasn’t wrong. Just because her friends wouldn’t approve, didn’t mean that what she felt was bad. Being with Nicole felt so  _ good _ . Falling for her, that was the most real thing she had ever felt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you so much for reading! Please review and let me know what you think! Or come talk to me on tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay!


	20. take this lonely heart (my youth is being replaced)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets unfold. 
> 
> Things fall apart...
> 
> Things fall into place.

“Waverly!” Stephanie called out as she and Chrissy met the brunette at her locker on Friday morning. She didn’t notice Waverly cringe when she said her name. She did notice, however, what was inside her friend's locker. “Bitch, did you get Champ flowers? That might not get him to take you back though.”

The sophomore sighed and took the flowers out of her locker. “What do you mean?”

“Champ! I heard he dumped your ass,” Stephanie commented as she looked through the flowers. “I don’t think that’s the kind of gift he’d want though. Maybe some of your ass…”

Waverly was done. Absolutely, positively done. With Champ. With Stephanie. With the whole life that she molded to try to fit into the teenage standard. This wasn’t her. And she didn’t want to be this person anymore.

“I’m done,” She stated bluntly and slammed her locker shut.

“What?” Chrissy asked with furrowed eyebrows and a hurt voice. She could tell that something was different with her friend.

“I’m done,” She repeated verbatim with complete certainty. “With Champ. And, for your information, not that you care about the truth,  I broke up with him. I'm done with cheerleading. With you guys. With all of this. I can’t be your friend anymore." 

Chrissy was horrified while Stephanie snorted like she didn’t care. Total opposite reactions for two opposite people.

“Waves--” Chrissy began before Stephanie interrupted.

“I knew it. You were always different. Everyone told us, you know. You’re an Earp. A freak. But we let you in any way. We thought that you could be one of us. You really had us played for a while, you skank. But I see right through you. You’re nothing. Just like your whore of a sister.”

The brunette let the words go through her, not letting them impact her. Those words used to be her greatest fear: that others knew that she was different and wouldn’t accept her. But now, she embraced it and even smiled at the thought of it.

Waverly looked around and noticed that students everywhere were watching. She didn’t want to make a scene, but she didn’t mind it. In fact, she raised her voice so that everyone could hear her.

“You know what, Stephanie? I always cared about what you think. But you know what I realized recently? You’re an idiot. You treat everyone like they’re below you when really you’re insecure because you know the only way you can make it in this world is your daddy's money. You’ve been nothing but an asshole. You hurt everyone. And I am done. So fucking done.”

The brunette walked away, tuning out the laughing, ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs,’ and loud gasps. She tuned out the beginning of rumors and lies. She tuned out everything. Because when she turned the corner, she found Nicole standing there at her locker and everything felt okay. Better than okay. She felt her heart race as she approached the redhead.

Nicole noticed her and grinned. “Waverly-- do you have flowers?”

“They’re for you,” Waverly told her as she passed them to the extremely surprised junior. “I want this. Us. And I know you were probably suspecting I’d take longer to make a decision, but you’re sure when you’re sure, you know? And I’m sure about you.”

The brunette was telling the truth. The seeing the redhead enter her house, she felt this elated feeling. As cliche as it sounded, it felt like a spark lighting inside of her. She felt warm, in a very hormone-y kind of way. Nicole's fire had started inside of her and everything fell into place.

“Wow,” Nicole muttered, having no words for the girl in front of her. “I just… wow. Damn, I’m so awkward.”

“I think you mean cute,” Waverly countered with a flirtatious wink.

Nicole gaped at her and asked with awe, “So what does this mean?”

A giggle fell out of her mouth and the brunette answered, “It means… I’m asking you out on a date. Of course, if you are still interested in little ole me.”

“Yes. God, yes.” The hesitation from before was gone. Waverly was here, standing in front of her, with flowers in her hand and her heart on her sleeve and Nicole couldn’t have been more stunned.

A grin spread wider than ever on Waverly’s face. “Good. I was worried for a second.”

“You don’t have to worry about anything. Except your sister murdering me when she inevitably finds out.”

Waverly snorted, “I’ll protect you. Nobody is getting _my_ girl.”

“Hmmm… possessive already I see,” Nicole joked with a wink as the brunette passed her the flowers and she put them in her locket and closed it.

The sophomore raised an eyebrow and asked, “Aren’t you mine?”

“Always, Waverly Earp.”

* * *

Both Nicole and Waverly felt a kind of excited ‘high’ after their interaction Thursday morning. Rumors about the brunette ran rampant around the school. Not about her being with Nicole, but people were talking about what could have caused a rift between her and her friends and Champ. Stephanie told the school that Waverly snapped like her sister. The sophomore took pride in that lie. 

Nicole asked the brunette to join her and Jeremy during lunch (since Waverly lost her friend group). Waverly was a little afraid of joining them and was worried that she was butting in, but the two accepted her. Jeremy didn’t glare at her for once (his anger about what Waverly did to Nicole dissipated once he saw the flowers she had given to Nicole and heard about how she dropped her toxic friends). In fact, the two of them geeked out about cheesy chick flicks and romance novels. They also both found out that they were interested in languages: real ones, dead ones, and fictional ones. Jeremy was immediately taken by his friend when he learned that Waverly knew Klingon, not because she was a Trekkie, but because she loved learning new languages. 

The two new friends quickly exchanged numbers so that they could send messages to each other in different languages and memes. Nicole laughed at their entire interaction, but she wasn’t surprised. They were two of her favorite people, there was no reason  _ why  _ they wouldn’t get along. 

Wynonna and Mercedes were surprised when Waverly joined Nicole and Jeremy after school to be driven back to the Homestead. The sophomore explained that she was done cheerleading and she noticed the proud twinkle in her sister’s eyes. 

Already knowing Rosita, the two of them warmed up to each other almost instantly, sharing a similar kind and gentle personality. The two of them also bonded over the fact that they both weren’t really a part of the band. They joked around as they watched the seriousness of the level of perfection the band was looking for with their songs. 

Waverly was genuinely baffled by Doc Holliday. She was expecting him to be this self-centered jerk but found him to genuinely care about the others. His jokes were different than anyone else she had ever met before. His humor was older and somewhat sophisticated, like he didn’t belong in the same time period as everyone else. And then he would say something that made her roll her eyes. This weird back and forth made him very intriguing and fun to talk with. 

Everyone liked the addition of the younger brunette despite her age. Even though she was a sophomore, she could still relate to the others. She had always been mature (she had to grow up fast when her dad died), but hanging out with this group of people made her actually feel young again. Not because she was younger than all of them, but because around them, she felt like she could be her normal teenage self. There was no pretending.

* * *

Friday occurred similarly to Thursday. The whole group hung out at the Homestead, practicing music and talking about Dolls and other subjects. The only difference was where they ended up. Doc and Rosita invited the group to Shorty’s after the practice. 

The bar was pretty packed like normal on a Friday night, but that didn’t stop them from having fun. The group practically took over the pool table and split into teams. There wasn’t one person who wasn’t competitive, but they all had a grin on their faces. That is, until the door opened and a familiar young adult walked it. 

Ian entered the bar with a grimace stretching across his face. He didn’t make too much of a commotion, which was how he was able to sneak up on the group of laughing teens. 

“Wynonna Earp,” He greeted, causing the group of people to stand up straighter, defensively. “I think it’s about time for me to get the last word in, what do you say?” 

Wynonna clenched her teeth together and moved so that she was in front of her confused sister. This was the last thing she wanted. 

“I think it’s time for you to leave,” Doc stated firmly, moving so that he was standing between Ian and the brunette. 

Ian shook his head with a heap of laughter. “I think, little boy, it’s time for you to get out of my way. You don’t want to get caught in the middle. It’s not a good place to be when I’m involved. I ain’t got nothing against you. I just wanna have a conversation with my sister.” 

Doc didn’t move away. Still staring at the man in front of him, he said, “Rosita, go get Shorty. We need to get this guy out of here.” 

Before Rosita had a chance to move, Ian tilted his head to the side and looked around Doc to see the oldest brunette of the group. It took a few seconds for him to recognize her. “Rosita. You’re back. I haven’t seen you in what, seven years? You always used to play hard to get.” 

His mouth was immediately slammed with the force of Doc’s fist. The group of friends behind him moved closer, ready to attack if they had to. Ian chuckled and wiped the pool of blood that escaped his mouth. “You must be the boyfriend, then. I’m surprised. I thought you were friends with Wynonna. Isn’t that betrayal?” 

Doc flinched and forced himself to not turn around and look at Wynonna and Rosita. He kept his steady resolve and hoped that it would scare Ian away. 

Wynonna, on the other hand, couldn’t let his comment go. She turned to look at Rosita, whose eyes started to water. “Rosita… what does he mean?” 

Rosita opened her mouth to answer, but she couldn’t find the words. Instead, her body began to shake and she started to cry, startling the whole group of people (besides Doc who knew exactly what was going on). 

“Jesus Christ, she doesn’t know does she?” Ian laughed as he pointed at Rosita and Doc, enjoying every second of the torture. “This is just too good. The girl whose father was murdered unknowingly befriends the daughter and sister of the group that killed her father and took her sister. How does it feel to learn your friend is a Revenant, Wynonna?” 

A laugh stormed out of Wynonna’s mouth as she turned to the brunette in question. “That’s so fucking funny. You’re an idiot, Ian, if you think that I believe you.” 

Ian snorted and replied, “You should, sis. I only went to school with her for all my childhood. Except we went to the bad kids' school, didn’t we, Rosie?” 

He sounded honest, and that startled Wynonna. She turned to look at Rosita, who was now leaning against the wall crying, and asked, “Rosita? Tell me that he’s lying.” 

“I--” Rosita choked out as she shakily walked toward the senior. “Wynonna, please believe me when I say that I never ever wanted to hurt you. Becoming your friend, it was by chance. And I just… I never thought that you needed to know because I left that life. I’m  _ not  _ a Revenant. I never had been. My family, they were. I’m-- my name is Rosita Del Rey. But when I left that life, I chose my mom’s maiden name. Wynonna--” 

“You knew?” Wynonna interrupted, tears falling down her own cheeks now. “You knew this whole time that I was the sister of the girl your brother took? That Bobo Del Rey ruined my life? That all my pain is because of  _ your  _ family.” 

The rest of the group stared at the two of them, waiting for someone to break or fall apart. Ian grinned with sadistic satisfaction at the whole interaction and finally said, “I think that I've done enough damage tonight.” With a wink, he left, leaving everyone inside to shatter. 

“I’m so sorry,” Rosita apologized as she tried to approach Wynonna. “I hate what my family did. I hate my family. I’d do anything to take all of that back. To erase what they did.” 

Wynonna ignored her and turned to Doc. “You knew, didn’t you?” At his reluctant nod, she slapped him. 

“Wynonna!” Mercedes shouted as she tried to pull her best friend away from the situation, seeing the fire in the brunette’s eyes and knowing what could be next if she wasn’t stopped. “Let’s get out of here. Just me and you.” 

The brunette shook away from the redhead’s embrace and walked away from the whole group. She was burning. Suffocating in unexplainable rage and heartbreak. Rosita was her friend. Fuck, she let her  _ in _ . And then betrayed her. 

“‘Nonna!” Waverly called out as she followed her outside of the bar and down the sidewalk toward the opposite direction of the Homestead. “Let’s talk about this.” 

Wynonna stopped and turned around to face her sister. Her sister who couldn’t even fathom what she went through when she was eleven. 

“Talk about what?” Wynonna spat in her sister’s face as she paced around like a madwoman. “ _ You  _ were  _ nine _ . Nine years old. You were asleep in your room thinking that the worst thing in your life was math homework. You were innocent and you stayed innocent because you  _ weren’t  _ there. You didn’t kill daddy. You didn’t lose Willa to a man whose sister is a girl I just became close with. I’m angry.” 

Waverly bit her lip and flinched back. She wasn’t scared of her sister (she knew her sister would never hurt her) but she didn’t like her sister’s tone. It worried her, more than anything. She just wanted to calm her down and get her home. 

“It’s okay to be angry, Wyn. But Rosita is a good person. We  _ know  _ her. So let’s just go home and we can talk about this. You can tell me about that night... if you want to. I know you haven’t wanted to talk about what happened, but maybe now is a good time. You need to let it out. And then we can fix this. Together.” 

Crushing her sister’s hope wasn’t something Wynonna wanted to do, but she didn’t see any other way around it. 

“There is no fixing this. You can’t help me, baby girl. I keep things in. You don’t need my demons.” 

“But I  _ want  _ them!” Waverly yelled suddenly, causing her sister to raise her eyebrows. “Why can’t you just share your life with me? Why can’t you let me take some of that pain off your shoulders? Don't I _deserve_ to know what happened to  _my_ family, too? Let me in, Wyn.” 

The older brunette stared at her for a few seconds, wanting to believe her. Wanting to give in and tell her everything. But the other voices were stronger. 

Waverly was the light, but Wynonna was used to the dark place in her mind; in seven years, it had become her comfort zone. She wasn’t afraid of letting in the light, she was afraid of letting the darkness out. She was afraid of what letting that darkness out would cause and who it would affect. She was scared of tainting others with that darkness, or at the very least pushing them away with it. 

“You weren’t there,” Wynonna repeated as she turned away from her sister, not wanting to see her reaction. “You wouldn’t understand. Go home, Waves.” 

“Wynonna--” 

“I don’t want you around. Go the fuck home.” This time, she didn’t let her sister let in any words. She started to walk away in the direction of the bars that would let her in and let her take the edge off.

* * *

 

Mercedes didn’t know what to do. She wanted to follow Wynonna but knew that Waverly was trying to help her sister. She had doubt that Wynonna would listen to the younger brunette in her state, but let it go anyway. She would go see Wynonna alone later that night. 

Instead, she turned her attention to Rosita. The older brunette was sobbing into Doc’s shoulder. Mercedes didn’t know what to feel. On one hand, she understood the betrayal that her best friend felt, but on the other hand, Rosita was her friend too, and she knew that older girl didn’t mean any harm. In fact, Mercedes couldn’t really blame her for not telling Wynonna about her family name. Running away from your family and never looking back was something that Mercedes could relate to. Not wanting to be compared or judged by your family was something she knew well. 

Nicole was speechless. She couldn’t believe that Ian showed up and revealed the exact kind of information that would alienate Wynonna from her friends. It was terrifying and sickening to watch. She didn’t know much about what happened with Wynonna’s father and sister, but she understood why Wynonna was hurt. Though, she didn’t blame Rosita. 

Jeremy gravitated toward Mercedes and Nicole who had held hands, trying to find comfort in each other. Like the others, he didn’t know what to do in the situation. They wanted to comfort Rosita as well, but Doc seemed to be having trouble getting her to do or say anything at all. 

“Ros, it’ll all be okay,” Doc whispered gently as he brushed her hair as she broke down into his arms. “Wynonna will come back to us.” 

“They’re still ruining my life,” Rosita choked out as her head pressed against her shoulder. “I can’t get rid of them.” 

“But you left them, right?” Mercedes asked the brunette with confusion. “Wynonna will realize that you aren’t a Revenant anymore. You don’t affiliate with them.” 

Rosita pulled away and turned to the older redhead. “I never have. It’s my family. I never chose to be one of them. I never wanted this. Wynonna-- I can’t believe what she must be going through. I’m probably a constant reminder of what my brother did. Of what she had to do.” 

“We just have to be there for her,” Nicole stated firmly as she smiled gently at Rosita. “We can all get through this, Rosita. You don’t deserve this, either. And she’ll get that. She’s stubborn, but understands what it’s like to live a life you don’t want.” 

Rosita forced a smile and thanked her friends profusely. Once she felt like she had calmed down, she offered to drive Jeremy home, but Mercedes ordered her friend to rest while she would drive both Jeremy and Nicole home. 

“Doc, take care of her, will you?” Mercedes asked him as they said their goodbyes.

“I’ll do my best. You take care of Wynonna, okay?” He countered with a solemn smile as if he knew exactly what kind of relationship that Mercedes had with the brunette in question. 

She nodded and the group of them left.

* * *

Wynonna hadn’t come home yet. That wasn’t exactly a surprise; Mercedes knew that the brunette tended to binge drink when she went through something emotional or heartbreaking. As she sat down on her best friend’s bed, she contemplated the scenario they were in. She might have not been surprised by her absence, but she was still concerned. Especially after a couple of really  _ really  _ good few weeks they had, Mercedes knew that this could send Wynonna back into the darkness that she normally resided in. 

As the hours passed, the redhead slowly lost her patience. She became anxious and couldn’t help but feel this lump in her throat and pit in her stomach grow. When the morning crept into reality, Mercedes got up to go outside and look for the girl (in fear that she had passed out on the street, got into an accident, or hadn't left a bar). She didn’t want to think about worst case scenarios. She didn’t want to think about the possibility of never seeing the brunette again. 

Her breathing sharpened, but she was finally able to exhale when a darkened figure opened the door into her bedroom. Wynonna was shaking and swaying, unable to stand up straight or walk. Mercedes didn’t know how the wasted girl could have gotten home. 

“Jesus christ, Wynonna,” The redhead muttered under her breath as the girl trudged to her bed and threw her shoes off across the room. “I was afraid I was going to have to call the police or something.” 

Wynonna flinched away from Mercedes’ touch. She expected the redhead to be there, but she knew that she didn’t deserve her comfort. She didn’t want her comfort. Not after where she had been all night. Not after being a terrible friend for years. Not after what she did when she was eleven. The anger and darkness consumed her. She didn’t have the room for Mercedes. 

“It’s not your job to take care of me,” Wynonna stated sans any emotions or feelings. 

Mercedes thought that was ridiculous. “Well,  _ somebody  _ has to. Luckily for you, I happily volunteer. Come on, let’s get you out of those clothes. And maybe get you into a shower. I’m afraid to ask where you’ve been all ni--” 

“Why do you care about me?” Wynonna asked her in a voice that Mercedes barely recognized. Once the brunette met her confused eyes, she added, “I’ve never done anything for you and yet you won’t leave.” 

Mercedes hated it when Wynonna talked like this. When the brunette put the redhead on a higher standard than herself and tried to convince her that she was a monster that Mercedes should abandon like everyone else. 

“I don’t want to leave. I never want to leave.” 

The words escaped and wanted to find Wynonna’s heart, but the voices in her head stopped them and twisted them. 

“ _ Why _ ?” 

The redhead glared at her with frustration. She was tired of all this unnecessary bullshit and decided to go with the truth. 

“Because I love you.” 

“You shouldn’t,” Wynonna voiced immediately, the answer already at the back of her throat like she knew that Mercedes would say that. “I’m not capable of loving you.” 

Mercedes snorted and shook her head. “Don’t be an idiot, Wyn. We both know you are saying this because you feel betrayed by Rosita. Which is fair, I guess. But you don’t mean what you’re saying."

The words echoed in Wynonna’s head before she said them out loud. They were always there if she had to be honest with herself. It was like her escape button. The one thing she knew could get Mercedes to leave. The one thing that could ruin them forever. 

“You’re right,” Wynonna whispered with as much sincerity as she could muster. “What I’m trying to say is that I could never love you. Because all this has only ever been sex for me. Nothing more.” 

The words chewed Wynonna up inside, speaking them tasted toxic, and the look on Mercedes’ face impaled her with feelings of self-hatred and wrath. 

Mercedes felt nauseous; the bile rose up along with the throbbing feeling of emptiness and despair (and that wasn’t being overdramatic). A part of her knew that Wynonna could just be saying this to get rid of her for once and for all, but another part of her believed the horrifying words and took them to heart. 

Because Wynonna couldn’t look at her in the eye any longer, Mercedes got up and stormed out of the house. She couldn’t believe what was happening. She couldn’t believe that she had gotten herself in this situation. That she loved Wynonna, continued to love Wynonna, and was left with nothing in return but hurtful comments. 

On the brink of what seemed like dissociating, she drove home as the sun started to come up. She hadn’t slept at all, so her eyes were itchy and watering profusely. All she wanted to do was get home and crawl into bed and hope that things would make more sense when she’d wake up. She drove faster and faster, needing to get home. Needing to get away. 

All of a sudden, she couldn’t tell if she was imagining it or if it was real, but she swerved out of the lane away from what seemed like an animal or object. She didn’t find out what it was. Instead, her car slammed into a ditch and as the darkness faded into her vision, all she could think about was Wynonna. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS. This chapter. Sorry bros. Love you all though! Let me know what you guys think! :)


	21. Tiny Little Fractures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mercedes wakes up. 
> 
> Chrissy asks Waverly questions. 
> 
> Jeremy's situation worsens.
> 
> Rosita gets a phone call.

Mercedes woke up to the sound of sirens, loud voices, and movement all around her. It took a few blinks for her vision to come back to her, but once it did, she felt like she was sinking into the ground. She couldn’t tell if it was the drugs she was possibly on or the fact that she couldn’t recognize anyone around her, but she just felt like she was falling into a deeper and deeper and…

“Ms. Gardner,” an EMT greeted as she checked her eyes with a bright light. “How are you feeling?” 

Not good was the answer. “What happened?” She asked instead. 

“An accident. You drove into a ditch. Do you remember that?” At Mercedes slight shake of the head, she added, “That’s okay. Pretty normal with a head injury like yours. We are going to call your parents. They should meet us at the hospital. We’ll be arriving in a few minutes.” 

“No,” Mercedes murmured and reached for her aching head. “Fuck, no. Do I have to go to the hospital? I’m fine.” 

The EMT raised an eyebrow and said, “It’s protocol, ma’am. Besides, you could easily have a concussion. Is there a reason why you don’t want your parents there?” 

“They’re dicks. And getting a divorce. They’re just going to argue about me. Hell, they might not even show up. They’ll send the maid or something.” 

A sympathetic sigh escaped the EMT’s mouth. “I’m sorry, kid. You’re eighteen and in high school. We should call your parents, especially if you are on their medical plan.” 

“Can’t I just pay you?” 

The EMT shook her head. “Nope. But you can go ahead and call a friend to meet you at the hospital if you want. Though it is six in the morning.” 

Mercedes wanted to call Wynonna, but even with the accident, she didn’t forget the last few words that she shared and how their relationship seemed to shatter along with them. Instead, she called someone else. 

“ _ Hello? Mercedes? Is something wrong? Is it Wynonna?”  _

The redhead sighed, hating that the early call must have scared the shit out of the younger girl. She considered telling her that it was a butt-dial and leaving it like that, but truth was, she didn’t want to go through this alone. Especially not after what happened with Wynonna. 

“Wynonna’s fine. I mean, she’s technically okay. It’s me that I’m calling about, actually. I got into a car accident.” At the sound of the younger girl gasping and shouting, Mercedes interrupted, “I’m fine, Nicole, I’m fine! I’m in the ambulance now and I was thinking that maybe you could meet me there? It won’t take long. I just… don’t want to be alone.” 

“ _ Of course! I’ll be there in a few minutes. Just hang tight, big red.”  _

The conversation ended quickly, but it was long enough for Mercedes to feel reassured. She noticed the young EMT smile at her and she didn’t know what to say. Small talk really wasn’t her thing, and she wasn’t in the kind of mood to talk. 

“It’s good you got a friend who’s there for you,” The pretty blonde said with a shrug. “High schoolers usually don’t have people that will wake up early in the morning to help with an emergency.” 

Mercedes narrowed her eyes at this chatty woman. “Or maybe it was just your friends who were assholes.” 

The EMT snorted with a chuckle. “Maybe so. It was high school, after all. It gets better, you know. I mean, adulting is weird. But better.” 

“Well, I sure hope so. If high school isn’t the worst time of your life than things really must be shit.”

The older girl smiled at Mercedes. “You seem like a cool kid, though.” 

“You are only like two years older than me,” The redhead muttered with an eye roll. “If you were cool you’d have just let me go.” 

“Hey, I never said that  _ I  _ was cool. Fuck, I wasn’t in high school either. And I’m not now. But it is what it is. You seeing anyone?” 

Mercedes raised an eyebrow. “Why are you asking? You interested? You always flirt with teenagers who got into car accidents?” 

The EMT grinned at her. “I get the feeling you aren’t used to small talk. I’m not trying to be all pervy, girlie. Just trying to be polite. Strike up a conversation. You know. Most people in these things are eighty years old and took a fall or forty-year-old drunks. You just happen to be more interesting than the normal lot of them.” 

The redhead didn’t have a chance to reply because the ambulance arrived at the small emergency hospital and the two of them got out. Mercedes followed the blonde into the hospital and watched with bitter resentment as they stuck her into a room. 

“Thanks, Izzy,” The EMT said with a wink as the nurse left the two of them in the room. She turned to Mercedes and announced, “Your doctor should be here in no time. But, uh, I have to go. I don’t wanna leave you alone, but I’m sure you’re pal will be here soon. Oh, I almost forgot.” She grabbed a small notebook out of her pocket and scribbled something down. “You need this information for the insurance.” She ripped the paper out and passed it to Mercedes. “I’ll be seeing you, mystery girl.” 

Mercedes rolled her eyes and watched the blonde go before looking at the paper. She read it and laughed. It read:  _ “So, maybe I am interested. Give me a call if you want, cool girl.”  _ She left her name and her phone number.  _ Ansley West.  _

“Mercedes!” Nicole shouted as she stormed into the room and almost pushed the bed over with her practically collapsing on top of her. 

“Ouch!” 

The younger teenager gasped and jumped back. “Oh, shit! Are you hurt?” 

“I wasn’t before…” Mercedes muttered as she crossed her arms. “I’m fine. My head hurts a little bit, but Ansley just thinks it’s a bump. Not a big deal.” 

Nicole’s mind was racing with different scenarios and questions. “Ansley? Not a big deal? What happened? Did you talk to Wynonna?” 

“Slow down, little red. One question at a time. Ansley was the person in the EMT. I only crashed into a ditch because I didn’t want to hit an animal. And I did talk to her.” She didn’t want to expand on that last point. Talking about Wynonna was the last thing she wanted to do. 

Nicole didn’t pick up on that. “What’d she say? How’s she doing?” 

Mercedes didn’t feel the urge to answer that question. “She wasn’t happy to see me. I don’t think we’ll be talking for a while.” 

Those words startled Nicole more than anything. Wynonna and Mercedes weren’t just romantic interests, they were best friends. Them being apart just didn’t seem like a possibility. They needed each other like they needed air. That was obvious to anyone who knew them. 

“What’d she say?” Nicole asked softly, afraid to hear the answer. 

Mercedes sighed and looked away from the younger redhead. “If I told you my head hurt would you let me not answer?” 

“Maybe, but then I’d make you tell me later, so might as well get it over with now. What happened?” 

Mercedes put her head in her hands and she finally confessed in a harsh whisper, “She told me that our relationship was just sex.” 

Nicole immediately sat down next to the older redhead and wrapped her arms around her. She couldn’t believe what Mercedes was going through. Having Waverly tell her that she didn’t want her was nothing close to what happened here, despite Nicole knowing that Wynonna probably didn’t mean it. 

The older redhead sobbed into the junior’s shoulder, not knowing how much this had affected her until this moment. When it felt real. When it felt like everything was over. 

“She’s hurting,” Nicole commented as she held onto her friend tighter. “She’s hurting and she took it out on you to push you away. She doesn’t mean it.” 

Mercedes knew deep down that Nicole was probably right. She  _ prayed  _ that Nicole was right. Because if she wasn’t, everything she had thought about her relationship would be wrong. Everything she had grown to love was a lie. And that was a terrifying thought. 

“But what if she did?” 

It wasn’t a question Nicole knew how to answer. All she could do was offer the older girl the truth. 

“I know what she told you. But I also know what I’ve observed from you and Wynonna over the past few months. Your love is stronger than anything I have ever witnessed. She cares about you more than she cares about almost anything. I’m convinced that she’d do anything for you, big red. And if that isn’t love, well, I don’t know what is. She needs time to process what she learned. Then we can be there and help her pick up the pieces.” 

Those were the words that Mercedes needed. She took a deep breath and let go a shaky breath with all of her worried feelings. 

“Thanks, Nic. God, where would my life be right now without you?” She rested her head on the younger girl’s shoulder and felt the warmth. “Have I told you how much I appreciate you recently?” 

Nicole chuckled and answered, “I think you’re getting soft in your old age, M.” 

Mercedes gasped playfully and retorted, “If I’m getting soft it’s because of you, Nicole Haught! I was mean before I met you!” 

“Oh, I remember that. You really didn’t like me when we first met. Or maybe you were just jealous and worried that I would replace you.” 

The senior rolled her eyes and muttered, “Ha. I was never jealous. I just didn’t trust you. You seemed extremely fishy. I don’t trust people who follow the rules. That’s your fault, Haught. Always be wary of the rule followers.” 

Nicole punched Mercedes’ shoulder and the two of them broke out into laughter. They were rudely interrupted, however, by a doctor and Mercedes’ father. The older redhead immediately tensed up and moved away from Nicole as her eyes met her father’s who looked at the two with heavy suspicion. 

“Mercedes, good news!” The doctor said as he entered with a tight grin across his face. “Your doctor just happens to be great friends with your father. It’s a small world, isn’t it? Let me give you a quick look over so we can see if you can go home or not.” 

“How’s my car?” Mercedes asked as the doctor checked to make sure all her cuts and bruises weren’t in need of any stitching or ice. 

Her father cleared his throat and announced, “Your car is already being taken care of. How is she, Bradford?” 

After giving the patient a few tests and a careful look at, the doctor claimed, “She’s alright. I don’t believe she has a concussion, but she has a nasty bruise on her head. If she starts getting nauseous or gets a headache, come to the emergency room immediately. But other than that, she’s free to go. I’m going to go get a few forms that you both need to sign. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” 

The doctor left and the room went immediately quiet and still. Mercedes’ father didn’t check to make sure she was okay. In fact, he could barely look at her. 

“I’m sorry, dad,” Mercedes whispered in embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to wreck the car. I should have pulled over.” 

He sighed and turned to Nicole as if he didn’t want to say anything around her. “I’m not angry you wrecked the car, Mercedes. I’m angry that you were reckless. This family is going through enough as it is.” 

Mercedes frowned uncomfortably. “I made a mistake, dad. Nothing like what Tucker has done.” 

Her dad immediately became angry. He growled, “Not here, Mercedes.” 

“It’s fine,” Mercedes muttered with a slight eye roll. “Nicole can hear.” 

“I do not feel comfortable talking to you about our family with your… significant other in the room.” He was too lost in his own thoughts to see Mercedes and Nicole’s eyes widen at his comment that was just horribly (and arguably funnily) incorrect. 

“She’s--” Mercedes was interrupted by the doctor entering the room and giving the two a stack of forms that they had to fill out. 

When they were done, the daughter asked her father, “Can I walk Nicole home? She walked here when I told her what happened.” 

He checked his phone and nodded, not really giving a crap either way. Nicole and Mercedes were happy to get out of the hospital and away from the older girl’s father. Nicole wanted to ask her friend if she was okay, but they stuck to conversations about things that weren’t too difficult to talk about. It was what Mercedes needed at the moment and Nicole was happy to oblige.

* * *

Chrissy hesitated before knocking on the door of her friend’s house. She had debated back and forth going to Waverly’s place. As surprised and upset as she was about what the brunette had said, Waverly had been one of her best friends for as long as she could remember. She didn’t want to end her friendship so abruptly without any answers. It just didn’t feel right to her. Then again, the whole thing didn’t seem right. 

The principal’s daughter knocked on the door and waited a few seconds before the girl she knew so well opened the door with her pajamas on. Waverly’s eyes were red like she had been crying all night. Immediately, all of Chrissy’s planned speech escaped her chest and it was replaced with worry for her friend. 

“Wave, are you okay? What happened?” 

Waverly was surprised to find her old friend standing there looking genuinely concerned. Part of her wanted to close the door on her face, knowing that her part of that life was over, but on the other hand, her relationship with Chrissy was never really falsified. She quickly wrapped her robe around her and closed the front door so that she could talk in privacy. 

“It’s just a family thing. What are you doing here, Chrissy?” 

“I’m here to talk,” Chrissy explained in a somewhat defeated voice. “You really caught me off guard a few days ago. I had no idea that you were even having those feelings. I mean, I know something was up before. But then you wanted to hang out more… honestly, I’m confused.” 

Waverly stared at her for a few seconds and recognized genuine hurt. It caused her to feel a twist in her stomach as it bubbled with a twang on regret. 

“I’m sorry,” Waverly murmured and anxiously pulled at the tips of her hair. “I shouldn’t have created a scene. And I owe  _ you _ more of an explanation. It’s just that… with the stuff with Champ… I was angry.” 

“What did he do?” 

“He wanted sex and got angry when I didn’t comply. He said things that I couldn’t forgive and I broke up with him. Which, is fine. I didn’t like him anyway.” 

Chrissy furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Didn’t like him? Then why did you date him?” 

Waverly sighed and confessed, “Because I felt like I had to. Because I thought it would be easier. I thought it would help me belong more with you and Steph. That it would make me more normal.” 

“What?” Chrissy asked as she tilted her head. “More normal? Waverly, you  _ always  _ belonged with me and Stephanie. You were always one of us. We have had so much fun together. We know you better than anyone.” 

Waverly shook her head and replied, “You don’t. I… I have been lying to you about myself for years. I thought the only way to change my life and have people forget that I’m the girl whose sister killed their father was to be someone that I’m not. To be normal and popular and have friends that don’t know the  _ real  _ me. But I wasn’t happy like that, Chris. So I’m done pretending.” 

Tears flooded Chrissy’s eyes as she asked, “How is that fair? You’ve become one of my best friends because you lied and now I’m supposed to let you go? I thought we were forever. Steph… we all knew she would marry rich and leave town, but I thought that we… I thought you were the only one who understood me. And you used me.” 

The girl in her pajamas felt the bitter chill run through her body. “I never wanted to hurt you. I didn’t mean to use you. I thought… I’m sorry. I wish I could change everything that happened.” 

“But you can’t, Waverly.” 

Chrissy sighed and walked away from the shivering girl on the porch. She got the answers she was looking for but was left with this empty feeling. Waverly, too, felt like she was losing everything around her. Wynonna didn’t want to talk, Chrissy was angry with her (rightfully so), and the band seemed to be splitting at the seams. But then the thought of Nicole flashed in her mind and things seemed to settle down. At least she had one thing in her life that she could hold onto; that could keep her afloat. 

“Waverly,” A voice called out as the door opened. 

The teenager swiveled around and found her uncle standing at the door holding two mugs of hot cocoa. He passed one to his niece, sat down on the top step, and patted the empty space next to him for Waverly to sit down. The girl grudgingly sat down next to him and took a sip of the drink that warmed her whole body. 

“Thanks, Curtis.”

He wrapped an arm around her and said, “I’d do anything for you, you know. I know that you aren’t my daughter, Waverly, but you’re still  _ my  _ little girl. And I can tell when my little girl is hurting. Does it have to do with whatever is wrong with your sister?” 

Waverly was torn between telling her uncle the truth and keeping it from him for Wynonna’s sake. She didn’t want to betray her sister, but the truth weighs heavily on her shoulders. She just wanted to alleviate some of the pain. 

“There’s a lot going on,” Waverly admitted as she felt the tears fall down her cheeks. “Chrissy was just here. I, uh, told her and Stephanie that I didn’t want to be their friends anymore. Chrissy’s upset because I told her that I wasn’t being myself when I was with them. She has every right to be upset, but I just want that part of my life to be over. Because, well, I found out that I’m more happy and more myself when I’m with Wynonna and her friends. And everything seemed to be going fine with them. But then Wynonna found out that Rosita’s family are Revenants and that her brother was the one who took Willa. And, well, she has shut down. And I’m scared for her.” 

Curtis stared at her with surprise at several things that his niece had said. Sometimes, he forgot how old she was. That Waverly wasn’t that nine-year-old girl that would jump into his lap and pull at his whiskers. 

“That’s a lot for one girl to be going through,” He pointed out wisely. “I know that you and your sister’s past has affected you throughout your life and that you were unable to have a full childhood. You shouldn’t be having to deal with this. Wynonna shouldn’t be having to deal with this. What happened all those years ago… I sometimes forget you both were little girls when it happened.” 

Waverly sighed, “I don’t even know  _ what  _ happened that night.” 

Her uncle frowned and thought about that statement. “I don’t think anyone really knows what happened that night beside your sister and the Revenants that took part in it. I can’t even fathom what kind of burden that must be for Wynonna.” 

“I wish she would share it with me,” Waverly whispered as she stared at her hot chocolate and tried to stop the tears. 

He understood her words better than most. “I’ve wished the same thing for seven years, Waverly.”

* * *

Jeremy was sleeping soundly when he heard a loud thump and crash before the door to his bedroom flew open. On pure instinct, he jumped up and felt his heart sink into his butt. His father was staring at him and his chest was moving up and down quickly. He was sweating, with his skin paling. He was disheveled: eyes red, hair stuck to his wet forehead, and his clothes ruined by a variety of stains (which Jeremy had guessed to be alcohol related). 

The man stared at Jeremy for a few seconds as if he didn’t quite recognize him. And then, without any warning, he grabbed the replica of a Game of Thrones sword and held it higher, causing Jeremy to back up slowly. 

“Dad--” 

“Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my home? Do you know where Akhila is? My son?” He lunged at Jeremy but missed. 

“Dad, it’s me!” Jeremy pleaded as he tried to move back. When his father tried to whack him again, he yelled, “It’s Jeremy, Dad! It’s me! Stop! Stop!” 

His father hit him, causing Jeremy to fall to the ground. His father stepped on him, causing Jeremy to groan with pain. 

“Did you take them? Where did you put them?” 

Hot tears fled from his eyes as his father pressed his shoe deeper into his abdomen. He didn’t want to fight back. He didn’t want to hurt his dad. 

“Dad… don’t…” 

“Liar! Tell me where they are!” He shouted as he pressed into him harder and harder into his stomach. 

Once Jeremy was having trouble breathing, he coughed out, “Fine! I’ll show you where they are. I’ll take you to them.” 

His father fell for it immediately. He moved away from Jeremy and the teen was able to grab his backpack and phone before running out of his room and his house. His father normally would have been able to catch up with him, but he was wasted and unsteady. He was two blocks away when he knew that he successfully escaped his father’s grasp. That didn’t stop him from running, though, just in case.

* * *

Rosita had barely slept that night. Her mind raced with what-ifs and regrets about how she dealt with her lies and what happened with Wynonna. She felt miserably guilty like she had something to do with what happened to Wynonna’s family, even though she didn't take part and couldn’t have prevented it. 

She grew up thinking her family was normal and good like most little kids did. She loved her father and mother and even had a strong relationship with her brother, despite the large age difference. Her happiness resided with her mother. Diana Bustillos was the light of her daughter’s life. When she died, Rosita’s life gradually filled with darkness. 

When she got older and after her mom died, she started to notice the differences to other families. For one, her family wasn’t just blood-related. The Revenants were full of people from all different kinds of life but lived in one camp. Some called it a commune, others called it a gang. Either way, no one messed with the Revenants. 

Her father was the boss. He told everyone what to do and everyone idolized him, Rosita included. Everyone feared him, Rosita included. But it took years for her to understand that the feelings she had for him were coerced by that fear and isolation that he forced upon her. 

Bobo was reckless. The only reason why he wasn’t in juvie was because the town cops were afraid to arrest him. He was impulsive and risked things for all Revenants, but he was his daddy’s boy and no one could say a bad thing about him. It was his idea to go to the Earp Homestead. She never knew why they went or what Bobo and her dad got from the whole thing, but she knew that something horribly wrong occurred that night and that they had to go right after. 

Her brother left after that. Rosita hadn’t seen him in seven years. Parts of her even missed him, despite what she thinks he did. When she found out the truth about that night, she knew she had to leave. She left when she was seventeen and ran to Europe. But there, she was lost and lonely. Purgatory was her only home. And that was because of her mom. So she took her name and moved back. 

She should have known that things were going too well. Doc was snoring next to her and it filled her up with mixed feelings. She didn’t mean to fall for him. But now that she did, the thought of losing him or having to leave made her heart hurt. She wondered if life was easier when she didn’t have so much to lose. 

A loud knock on the door downstairs caused Doc to grunt and get up, rambling on about being really pissed if it was all just a prank. 

Rosita’s phone rang and she cursed. Her family and the Revenants had been trying to get a hold of her for weeks now. She even saw Fish occasionally at the bar staring at her. She knew that it wouldn’t be long until one of them comes to get her. She’d have been free for too long. Her father wouldn’t like that. 

After delaying the inevitable for so long, she actually answered the phone. 

“Who is this?” She asked the unknown caller in a hushed voice. 

“ _ Ro Ro _ ,” The familiar voice replied chillingly, causing her to physically shudder. “ _ It’s good to hear from you. We miss you. I miss you. It’s time for you to come home. _ ”

Rosita wiped away her tears and tried to say sternly, “I’m not coming home. I don’t want to see you again.” 

“ _ But I want to see you again. And I get what I want, Rosita. You haven’t been gone long enough to forget that. I heard you’re back in Purgatory. Living with a boy, no less. Do you love him, Ro Ro? _ ” 

At the mention of her boyfriend, her whole body froze. It was bad enough for him to threaten her, but Doc… 

“I don’t have to answer you. I’m an adult. I don’t need you. Leave me alone.” 

She could hear him laugh and several memories returned to the forefront of her mind. “ _ But I’m your father, Rosita. We don’t abandon our daughters. It truly would be a shame, though, if something happened to the boy. John Henry Holliday, is it? _ ” 

“Don’t touch him or I swear to God--” 

“ _ You swear to God, what, Ro Ro? Do you think you could take on your whole family? We just want to protect you. Save you. No one else has to be involved. _ ” 

She hung up on him, not able to speak to him any longer. She dried her tears with her sleeve and took a deep breath. She wasn’t surprised that he threatened her. Deep down, she knew this would happen eventually. No one just stopped being a Revenant. At least no one stayed alive long enough to stop being one. 

Rosita heard odd sounds from downstairs and realized that the voices weren’t just coming from Doc. She put on one of Doc’s shirts over her bra and raced downstairs.

* * *

For once, Jeremy was glad he lived in a small town. He ran to Shorty’s and banged on the door repeatedly once he got there. 

Doc opened the door wearing only his boxers. He was squinting, so Jeremy could tell that he had just woken up. 

“Chetri…? What happ--” 

“Can you let me in?” Jeremy asked him in a rushed voice. “My dad might be after me.” 

Doc opened the door wider and let the teenager enter the bar. He was worried for his younger friend and gave Jeremy and look over to see if there was something visibly wrong with him. Jeremy was hunched over as he clutched his stomach. 

“Did he beat you?” Doc asked him as Jeremy collapsed onto a bar stool. “Jeremy, what happened?” 

“He didn’t believe that I was his son,” Jeremy whispered, ashamed of what he was going through. “He was angry.” 

Doc reached over and pulled up Jeremy’s shirt, seeing how quickly his abdomen was becoming bruised. He gasped softly, remembering what it was like to have similar marks. Jeremy pushed his friend’s hand away and let his shirt fall. He didn’t like how vulnerable it made him feel. Like he was weak, especially compared to the badass Doc Holliday. 

“Maybe I should take you to the hospital. He could have ruptured something.”

“Nothing is ruptured,” Jeremy tried to reassure him with a shrug. “I’m fine. He just needs to sober up and I can get back to him.” 

The older teen sighed, knowing exactly what it was like to want to be with the father, despite what the father has done. 

“What you  _ need  _ to do is stay safe. That should be your priority. You can’t go back to live with your dad if you’re dead.” 

Luckily, that dark comment was interrupted by Rosita’s presence. She looked off, and both Doc and Jeremy could tell something was wrong. 

“Dead?” Rosita asked, trying to place her attention on something besides the situation she was in. “Jeremy, are you okay?” 

Before Jeremy could fib and make his problem seem less than what it really was, Doc explained to his girlfriend, “His dad couldn’t recognize him and attacked him. And I’m trying to tell him that he can’t go back. I know how these kinds of things turn out, Chetri. Just because he used to not be abusive doesn’t mean this can’t escalate.” 

Rosita frowned and her mind immediately went to her father. He didn’t touch her, that wasn’t his kind of torture. No, he liked getting into people’s heads and using them. But just because it wasn’t physical didn’t mean she wasn’t terrified of him.

“Well, what do I do?” The younger teen asked anxiously as he pulled at his sleeves. “He’s my dad. I can’t just leave him.” 

Rosita wrapped her arms around the boy and said, “Sometimes the best thing you can do for your family is to leave them. And there are other things that we can do to help him. What he needs is professional help, Jeremy. If he attacked you because he didn’t recognize you, something is seriously wrong. There can be places he can go that could help you.” 

Jeremy pulled away from her and asked with horror, “Lock him up? In a crazy house?” 

“Not a crazy house,” Rosita corrected with a shake of her head. “A treatment center that can make him into the person that you used to know. I know there is probably a lot that you haven’t told us. Which is fine. But you can’t keep living like this. There are things that we can do to save you, Jeremy, if you let us.” 

“Stay here with us,” Doc begged him with a small smile. 

The teenager thought about it for a few seconds and eventually said, “I’m not sure about sending my dad away. But I will stay here for a few days to let things die down. If you guys are sure that you want to have me.” 

Rosita was worried about the danger she could have been putting him (and Doc) in just by being around them, but there was no way that she could just turn him away. Especially when she didn’t have the words to explain why. 

“You’re happy to stay with us. We can set up the air mattress in our room or in the basement.” When he looked to make sure that his girlfriend was okay with everything, she was already staring off into space. “You okay, Rosie?” 

“Yeah,” Rosita lied as she pretended to smile at her boyfriend and friend. “I’m okay.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Please let me know what you guys are thinking! I'd love to hear from you in the comments or on Tumblr.


	22. Guilty (For Your Love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weeks have passed. And things go from bad to worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I'm a music junkie, I recommend listening to the new album, "Don't Wait 'Til Tomorrow" by YONAKA while reading this. It came out today and I'm freaking out!

Weeks passed and the shattered pieces had remained shattered. Wynonna still tore things apart. For weeks, there hadn’t been any band meetings because the brunette refused to meet up with them and the others felt wrong playing without her. The large group still hung out together at Shorty’s most nights, but it wasn’t the same. 

Wynonna picked up old habits and began her nightly binge drinking and sleeping with strangers. She tried to stay away from everyone she cared about, afraid they’d hurt her or the other way around. That included not seeing Mercedes. Being away from her was like a constant stab in the stomach. Everything hurt. Most of the time, she wanted to go up to the redhead and apologize, but the demons in her head warned her against it. And her demons always won. 

Waverly tried to talk to her sister, but Wynonna refused to listen to her. The sophomore knew there was something that her sister was keeping from her about the past, but she didn’t know how to get it out of the older girl. Wynonna's self-destructive behavior put Waverly on edge. She was afraid that something bad would happen to her sister. Something permanent. Something that would be unfixable. She was glad that she had her new friends seemed to understand what she was going through, but she really needed her sister. Despite everything, Wynonna was still her everything. 

Nicole loved spending more time with Waverly, but she could tell that there was something missing. When she was with the younger girl, she noticed that Waverly wasn’t totally there. She was thinking about her sister. Nicole knew how much it was stressing her out, so she refrained from asking about their relationship status and going on dates because she didn’t want to add any extra pressure. 

Mercedes was cold. She appreciated having Nicole, Waverly, and Jeremy’s company during school hours, but she couldn’t help but miss her best friend constantly. Time moved slower and it seemed to drag on. She considered even going to see Wynonna, but she couldn’t do it. She was still so angry about what she had said. More than anything, she was angry. Angry that Wynonna said their romance was nothing more than sex, angry that she was lying, angry that Wynonna had gone through hell as a child, angry that Wynonna felt like she couldn’t let anyone in, angry that she couldn’t help her any better. 

Dolls spent those weeks studying every possible exit and every possible corner that wasn’t covered by a camera of the house. He trusted that his friends were trying to find a way to get him out, but he was still trying to find a solution that wouldn’t lead to him having to run away or hide. He didn’t want to necessarily leave Purgatory. He just wanted his sister to be safe. Though, selfishly, he didn’t want to leave his friends. He finally felt like he was getting a family and he was afraid of losing them. He was worried when he hadn’t heard from them for a few weeks, but he just hoped that they were planning something. 

Jeremy secretly had been living with Doc and Rosita for the few weeks. He still hadn’t told his other friends about what happened, even with their persistence of convincing him to spill the beans about his whole situation. He already felt like a burden on his father and Doc and Rosita, he didn’t want to be that for everyone else, too. When he wasn’t at school or hanging out with his friends, he either helped out in the bar or was researching facilities that could help his father. But he felt guilty about that, too. 

Doc knew something was wrong with Rosita, but he felt like all his attention was already consumed with problems such as Jeremy and Wynonna (and the whole band). Keeping everyone together without Wynonna was difficult, but he knew how much they needed each other. He would have never thought a group of weird people would ever mean so much to him, but they truly did. They wormed their way into his heart and he cared about them with a fierceness he didn’t comprehend. But at the end of the day, it was Rosita. It was all Rosita. She brought him so much happiness and fulfillment. He felt like he had something to live for, someone to grow old with. He was constantly surprised that she returned the same feelings. And knowing she was in pain and wouldn't tell him what was happening, it hurt him. 

Rosita felt like she was always looking over her shoulder. After the phone call, Fish began to follow her. Watch her. She never felt safe, even in the arms of the man that he loved. She felt Doc’s questioning stares. She hated the concerned looks because she knew that nothing she could say would get rid of them. In fact, she knew if he knew the truth, everything would change. That everything they worked for would vanish. She was so scared to let anyone in. 

* * *

“Stop avoiding me,” Fish grunted as he sat at the bar that Rosita was working at. “You can’t keep doing it forever. I  _ live  _ in this town, Rosita. Remember that, darling? I was the one who took you in when you returned. I was your only friend.” 

Rosita poured drinks for other customers and muttered, “If you were really my friend, you’d stop following me. You’d tell them all to back off. You’d fucking  _ help  _ me.” 

Fish laughed and swirled around his drink before swallowing it all in one gulp. “I  _ am  _ helping you, Ro. The family needs you and you need the family. That’s how this works. And I know you, Rosita. The real you. The one that your little friends don’t know. I’m going to save you.” 

Her hands were shaking with such ferocity that a bottle almost slipped out of her hands. She was always so careful. He was getting into her head and he was enjoying it. 

She slammed the bottle on the bar and looked into his eyes for the first time all night. “You don’t know me at all. None of you know me.” 

Fish rolled his eyes and said, “Of course I know you, Rosita! You were the girl who picked flowers and gave them to your father in hopes he told you they were pretty. You were the girl who secretly lifted weights to beat your brother in arm wrestles. You were the girl who played the cello to get close to your mom when she died. You were loyal to your family. You  _ love  _ your family. Pretending like you don’t… it won’t do anyone any good.” 

Rosita ignored the other customers who started yelling at her for attention in the background. Fish brought her back to memories she thought that she had long forgotten (or wished she had forgotten). He was right in some ways; she was ever the dutiful daughter when she was younger. She did whatever daddy asked and hoped it would be good enough. She followed her brother around like she was a puppy dog, wanting to learn from a bigger pooch. And she adored her mom and tried to do anything she could to be like her. 

“All kids are loyal to their parents,” Rosita defended and crossed her arms. “I didn’t know they were doing anything wrong then. Fish, we used to be friends once. You must know what they are doing is wrong. They steal and lie and treat their women like shit. Your family must have agreed. They didn’t go with all the others.” 

“Your dad told us to stay,” Fish explained with a sigh. “Your dad has always been there for us. We’ve never been poor or in need of anything. He’s kept us safe. And I don’t know why that’s a bad thing.” 

“Because it’s at the expense of others!” She argued passionately. “Look at the Earps for instance.” 

Fish snorted and said, “They asked for it, Ro. You don’t even know the story. Your brother didn’t even tell you what happened. There’s a lot that happened that this town doesn’t know. Wynonna Earp isn’t as innocent as you might think.” 

That pissed her off more than anything. Bringing her friend into this wasn’t necessary. Especially when she knew how much the Revenants screwed her friend’s life over. 

“Leave her out of this. In fact, leave  _ me  _ out of this. I want out. I’ve wanted out for years. Why can’t you all just leave me be?” 

“Because you’re family,” Fish answered with a shrug as if it were obvious. “And we don’t leave our family behind. Please come with me. I can take you to my place. It would make all of this so much easier for everyone.” 

Rosita glared at him. “You know I won’t come with you.” 

Surprising her, his face softened like her words genuinely worried him. “Then they’ll come, Rosita. All of them. Tomorrow. This is your last chance to come peacefully. And they’re willing to fight to have you.” 

She gulped and felt the bile rise up in her throat. Everything was ending so quickly. She had so little time. But even with the fear of having her family hurting her, she still shook her head. She wouldn’t give up her freedom or life here in Purgatory. With her friends. With Doc. 

He nodded, understanding, and got up to leave. Once he did, she noticed Doc from across the room staring at her. Tears were falling down her cheeks and she knew he was going to ask why. She didn’t want him to. She wanted to have one last night with the man she loved. But she knew that wouldn’t be right. That Doc would blame himself if he didn’t know or press her hard enough. She started to cry harder. 

“Everyone out!” Doc shouted as he stood up on a table. At the sound of groaning and complaints, he added, “Cut your crying and get out!” 

The customers hurried out of the bar at the sound of his angry voice. He didn’t want to send everyone out, but he knew that he had to be there for Rosita. And they needed silence to talk about whatever was going on. 

Once the bar was empty, Rosita ran over to Doc and wrapped her arms around him. She sobbed into his chest, letting out all the weight that had been weighing down for the past few weeks. She was so tired of keeping it from him. Now, she just wanted to tell him everything. 

He held her close, afraid to let go. Afraid to know the truth. Because deep down, he already knew what it was about. And he couldn’t bear the thought of ever letting Rosita out of his life. He let her in and let her love him. And he didn’t know if he could handle losing her. 

“They’re coming for me,” Rosita choked out as she pulled away. “Tomorrow. They’re coming.” 

Doc stared at her in shock. He was fucking scared. So scared. But he pushed it back far enough to kiss her. 

“I won’t let that happen,” He said as he rested his forehead against hers. “I won’t let them get you. I’ll protect you. I love you.” 

She knew that he meant it, but she also knew that he probably couldn’t protect her. But in his arms, she trusted his word and felt the darkness fall away. 

“I love you too.”

* * *

“You’re going to go see Mercedes tonight?” Waverly asked as she looked through the CDs on Nicole’s bookshelf as they listened to music and hung out (which they did a lot recently). This was, however, the first time the sophomore had been to her (girl) friend’s house. Nicole’s parents were gone and she suggested that it would be the perfect place for them to hang out alone. 

“Probably,” Nicole answered as she changed a CD out with another one. “She’s having a hard time. Your sister was her support system. But now… How is she doing, by the way? She still hasn’t returned my calls or texts.” 

Waverly sighed and laid down on the ground, staring up at the ceiling fan. She felt awful about what her sister was going through, but she was also incredibly frustrated with her for not letting anyone in for weeks. She just wished her sister would understand that people loved her and wanted to help. 

“Just like yesterday and the day before that. She doesn’t talk to any of us. My aunt and uncle are getting really worried. She hasn’t been like this for what I can remember. Curtis said that she used to be like this after what happened but I don’t remember it.” 

Nicole joined her on the floor and laid down next to her.“When I barged into her room and gave her the whole speech about loving her, she couldn’t even look at me. I’m worried too, Waves. She needs us now more than ever and she won’t let us in.” 

Waverly rolled to the side to look at the redhead. “At least she has us. Knows that we’re there. You’re a really good friend, Nicole. She’s lucky to have you.” 

The redhead blushed and moved closer to the brunette. “You have me too, you know.” 

A smile formed from her lips and Waverly saw one form on the other girl’s as well. She stared at them for a few seconds before closing the distance between them. 

It was the first kiss since that one in the alleyway, but I was like that night never happened. It began softly as if both of them were worried about going any father. Nicole could taste Waverly’s lip gloss and Waverly never liked chapstick more than when Nicole’s lips were pressed against her own. 

They cradled each other for a few minutes before Waverly found herself getting on top of Nicole. Most of it was instinctive, but the movement surprised both of them. In a good way. The redhead deepened the kiss and by the second it became more and more intense. 

A thought came to Waverly’s head and she pulled away for a second, causing Nicole to pout. 

“Go out with me. Like on a real date. We can go a few towns away and go see a movie. Or go out to dinner. Or go mini golfing. I’m tired of keeping this between us. I want the world to know how I feel about you, Nicole Haught.” 

Those words sent tears to the redhead’s eyes. She was so scared of pushing Waverly too fast or pushing her away, but not it seemed like they were in the same exact place. They both wanted the same things. 

“Me too. How about next weekend?”

Waverly grinned and replied, “Perfect,” before giving Nicole another quick kiss. 

“Good. But you know, if you want to tell the world, we should probably start with your aunt and uncle. And, well, Wynonna.” 

The brunette knew she was right but didn’t know how to say it out loud. For some reason, it was scarier for her family to know rather than everyone else. She no longer gave a shit about what anybody else thought. But her family… their opinions still mattered. She was saved, though, by the sound of their phones. 

**Gunslinger &ladykiller: ** _ emergency band meeting!!! And since Wynonna isn’t responding, it’ll be at the homestead _

**Chaotic Bitch:** _ ok, what time? Is everything ok?  _

**Gunslinger &ladykiller: ** _ now. And we can talk about it when we meet.  _

**Haught-n-spicy:** _ M, can you come pick me and W at my house?  _

**Chaotic Bitch:** _ be there in 5 _

Waverly and Nicole turned to each other in worry and raced downstairs. They had no idea what was coming, but they knew it couldn’t be good.

* * *

Mercedes was torn about making fun of picking both Nicole and Waverly up in such a dour time. They didn’t know why the meeting was an emergency, but they were sure it probably wasn’t good. But then again, maybe joking about them being alone was what they needed to ease the anxiety in the car. 

“Was Doc interrupting something when he texted?” The older redhead asked as she pulled onto the Earp property. 

Nicole coughed on nothing and looked in the backseat to find Waverly blushing (and grinning). “I think that’s a little personal, M.” 

Mercedes snorted, “Sure, little red. Like we won’t share everything in a few hours. Waverly, do you think your sister will be willing to talk to us?” 

Waverly sighed and shook her head. “I’m not sure. I know that she hasn’t spoken to me, but there might be a chance she’ll talk…” She trailed off once she saw Doc, Rosita, and Jeremy pull up. Once they got out of the car, she asked, “What’s wrong?” 

“Let’s go get Wynonna,” Doc said with an uncharacteristically serious tone. He was pale and moving all over the place as if he was terrified. “Everyone should hear this all at once. Who wants to go get her?” 

Everyone remained silent for a few seconds afraid to talk to the brunette in question. Finally, however, Nicole raised her hand and headed for the house. She darted for Wynonna’s room, though questioned if the senior would be there. She heard that Wynonna was rarely home these days. But she happened to be lucky and heard Wynonna’s music blasting from her room. 

“Earp!” Nicole shouted as she knocked on her friend’s door. “Earp, open up! Or I’m kicking this door down.” This was no time to be nice or polite. Something was  _ wrong _ . And this was the time to get together and put our problems aside. 

The redhead almost gasped when Wynonna opened the door. The brunette looked ill; she was sweating and shaking (similar symptoms to going through withdrawal). The circles under her eyes were so prominent they looked almost fake. She was smaller; her body was crunched over along with the obvious loss of weight. It startled Nicole into almost complete silence. 

“What the fuck, Haught? Did you bother me just to stare like a freak?” Wynonna asked as she leaned against the doorframe as if she couldn’t stand up straight. 

Nicole was snapped out of the moment and she said, “Oh. No. Everyone is outside. Something happened. Something bad. We all need to talk. As a family.” 

Wynonna glared at her. She never really felt like she had a family. She thought she ruined it when she killed her father and messed up her relationship with Waverly. And then she got her band and she felt like she didn’t deserve her friends (besides all of the Rosita stuff). And then she pushed away Mercedes. She didn’t think she had anyone left. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Nicole sighed, not really knowing what to say to convince her. “Doc wants to say it as a group. I’m not really sure. But he’s  _ Doc _ . Don’t you want to know what’s wrong? No one’s making you do anything, he just wants you to hear what’s going on.” 

“So it has to do with Rosita? Rosita  _ Del Rey _ ?” 

The redhead rolled her eyes and countered, “Rosita Bustillos. One of your closest friends. A girl you know and trust. A girl who might need our help. So please, Wynonna, for once, ignore all the bullshit that’s gone on for the past few weeks and listen to the people that care about you, okay? Be angry later. Just hear them out.” 

Wynonna wanted to yell at her. But she knew yelling at Nicole wouldn’t get her anywhere. She knew that the junior was stubborn enough to not let this go. At one point, she admired it. When it was used against her, however, it sucked. 

“Fine. But I’m not promising anything.” 

Nicole nodded and led the brunette out of the house to the empty field where everyone else was standing. It took a few seconds for people to stop looking at Wynonna and how awful and strange she looked. 

Rosita gravitated toward Doc and he pulled her into his embrace knowing how hard it was for her to tell the group about the situation she’s in. 

“My family,” Rosita began with a voice crack. “The Revenants. My  _ father _ . They’re after me. They’re coming tomorrow. And they’re willing to do whatever it takes to take me back. And I don’t… I don’t know how to stop them.” 

Silence fell around the group. Most of them knew there was something wrong, but  _ this _ ? This was worst case scenario kind of bad. Something that they would only expect from a fictional movie. 

“We fight,” Nicole muttered as her hands curled up into fists with anger. “I won’t let them take you, Ros. This  _ isn’t _ fair. I’ll do anything to keep you here.” 

Rosita felt her heart seize with love for her friend. But there was also fear. “Thank you, Nicole. But these people… they’re dangerous. They have all the weapons in the world. There’s a lot of them. And I’m sure you’re tough, Nic, but you can’t defeat a huge group of men.” 

“Then we all fight,” Jeremy added and reached out for the girl. “We won’t let you go without a fight. Doc, me and you, we can get Dolls out. He’ll help.” 

“Maybe Shorty can help,” Mercedes added with the shrug of her shoulders. “He can find people that can help.” She turned to Wynonna and said, “You know people that would get into fights like this. Do you--” 

“Are you all fucking crazy?” Wynonna asked as she stared into the eyes of the people that loved her the most. “You are all going to get killed. Or get beaten to a pulp. Either way, I’m staying away. I don’t know if you all remember or not, but the last time I went one on one with Revenants, they won.” 

Waverly flinched to her sister’s words, but everyone else was frustrated with her response. They didn’t understand how she could be so apathetic. They didn’t have the chance to question her, however, because she turned around and immediately headed for the house. Though, Mercedes wouldn’t let her go.  

As the others talked more about their reckless plans, Mercedes chased her best friend into the house and to Wynonna’s room. She was still so furious about what Wynonna said to her weeks ago, but this wasn’t about them. This was about Rosita. 

“You’re not heartless!” The redhead shouted as she pushed the door as Wynonna tried to slam it closed. Wynonna fumbled backward, startled by Mercedes’ raised voice. But the redhead wouldn’t stop. In fact, she got closer to the brunette to ensure that she would hear her words. “You’re not a horrible person! You’re not fucked up!” 

Wynonna started tearing up and Mercedes already had tears streaming down her face after letting this out for the first time in weeks. “I’m so mad at you. What you said… It hurts. Emotionally… physically… without you, I feel like a shell of a person. I hate you for what you said. But I also know you better than anyone. I know you said it to push me away. You might screw me because I’m willing and there, but I  _ know  _ we’re friends because you care about me. And as much you try to deny it, you care about Rosita too. You feel betrayed because you let her in. Making real friends doesn’t come easily to you. And learning that Rosita kept something from you… it hurts you. I understand that, Wyn. But she was  _ thirteen  _ when her family did what they did. She couldn’t have stopped it or prevented it. She didn’t choose her family. She’s just as innocent as you are. And she needs your help.” 

They were face to face now. They both wanted the same thing without knowing it. They both just wanted to hold each other and fall into the rhythm they had weeks ago before everything turned to shit. 

But Wynonna looked away and let out a short sob. “She doesn’t need  _ my  _ help. I can’t… just look at me. There’s something wrong with me. I’m broken, Mercedes. I’m so broken. I’ll just ruin it all.” 

Mercedes grabbed the brunette’s hands and cried out, “Jesus Christ, Wynonna! You’re not broken! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! You’re in pain. You relived what happened to you when you were eleven. What happened to you, it isn’t fair. But it didn’t break you. You’re still here. You’re still living.” 

Still looking away, Wynonna whispered, “You’d all be better off without me.” 

The redhead understood the implications of that statement but couldn’t handle it at the moment. She could only handle one tragedy at a time. 

Instead, Mercedes kissed Wynonna’s forehead and said, “You have no idea how wrong you are.” 

She knew there were more things that needed to be said. But she knew that Wynonna needed more help than she could give at the moment. And saving Rosita… that had to come first. So, she walked away and felt her heart break into pieces. Loving someone was hard enough, but loving someone who couldn’t accept love… Mercedes didn’t know how to fix things. How to love Wynonna  _ better _ . How to get Wynonna to want to live. She didn’t know if things could even improve. And that thought was the scariest one of all. 

When she walked back to her group of friends, for a second she forgot how to breathe. She might have been angry at Wynonna before, but this was different. It was like her brain tried to adapt to the idea of breathing without Wynonna and couldn’t handle it. She wondered if she would stop breathing if she lost the woman she loved. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please review and let me know what you think!


	23. If I Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The showdown is here. And things happen.

They couldn’t deny how terribly foolish and risky their plans were to fighting off Rosita’s family and Revenants, but none of them would say it out loud, of course. They were all too afraid to admit that they somehow wouldn’t be able to save her and keep her family away. Fear simmered through the group, afraid of losing their friend and getting hurt themselves. 

And yet, despite all the danger, they continued to plan. They continued to gather weapons and talk to people who might help. They continued to tell Rosita that everything was going to be okay. And by midnight, the whole group was sufficiently terrified and ready to go in their separate directions to prepare themselves for the inevitableness of the next day. 

After Jeremy had headed down to the basement where his air mattress was set up, Doc found his girlfriend sitting on the edge of their bed, weeping silently. 

“Ros…” He whispered, his heart breaking for the girl who had his heart. “What’s-- I mean, I know there’s a whole hell of a lot of things wrong, but why are you crying?” 

He put his warm hand on her back to let her know that he was there for her and she leaned back into his embrace. She let him wipe away her tears though she knew they would just keep going (she didn’t know if they would ever stop). 

“I don’t…” She confessed as she turned to look at him and placed her gentle hand on his face. “I don’t want you all to get hurt for me. I don’t want  _ you  _ hurt.” 

He moved his hand so that he could kiss her hand and told her, “Love, I’d do anything for you. And I’m damn sure your other friends would do the same.” 

“I don’t know what I’d do if any of you got hurt. I’m just one person, Doc. How is it fair that all of you could get hurt because of me?” 

Doc sighed, brushed the long, dark hair out of her face and stated calmly, “Because you’re special, Rosita Bustillos. And I’d do anything so that you have a chance to live your life the way you want to live it.” 

Rosita was touched, but it didn’t change the utter fear she had that she was going to destroy lives. She kissed him delicately and wondered if this would be their last kiss. If Doc’s life would be better off if she would just give herself up. 

But once she noticed that the tears falling weren’t just hers, she knew that she couldn’t just leave. Too many people had left him before, and she wasn’t going to abandon him, even if it was what made sense. 

“I’m so in love with you, John Henry,” She professed as they fell into the serenity of their bed. 

He wrapped her large arms around her and told her, “When we win this, we’re going to begin a long life together. There is no one I have ever loved as much as you. Will ever love as much as you. I hope that isn’t too forward of me.” 

Surprising laughter fluttered out of her solemn body as she croaked, “You’re a soft man, Doc Holliday. I can’t believe I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

He held her tighter (afraid to let go), kissed her neck, and wished that the morning would never come.

* * *

Mercedes was planning on dropping off Waverly and Nicole, but when the younger redhead offered to let both of them stay over with her, neither of them refused. They trudged up the steps, into her bedroom, and finally onto her small double bed. 

Nicole was in the middle, stuffed between her (girl) friend and her (best) friend, but even between the people who comforted her the most, she was scared beyond belief. Months ago, when she first moved to Purgatory, she never would have thought she would have this close of friends, let alone friends she would fight (and hopefully not die) for. But now she was here with two girls with arms wrapped around her and she felt like she belonged, even though she was trying to sleep before going against a cult like group of powerful men. It seemed like someone else’s life. 

Horny fifteen-year-old Nicole would have thought this would have been her fantasy being between two gorgeous girls. Older (but still a little bit horny) Nicole didn’t imagine a threesome and instead thought of a future where everyone is okay. A future where Rosita is still in Purgatory and is with Doc, Dolls and his sister are free from their family, Wynonna and Mercedes are happy together (and have confessed their undying love for one another), Jeremy’s situation is figured out (Nicole can tell something is off), and she and Waverly are in a relationship that everyone knows about and accepts. Is the dream unrealistic? Maybe. But Nicole continues to dream on.

* * *

Jeremy woke up with the sound of a throat clearing. He jumped up to find Doc standing over him with a grim frown. 

“Rosita got a text. Her old friend warned her. They’re coming in two hours. To a field near the Homestead.” 

The teenager gulped and replied, “Is she okay?” 

Doc shook his head answered, “None of us are okay. Let’s go get Dolls. We’ll need as much help as we can get.” 

“I’ll be up in a few minutes,” Jeremy told him with a stiff nod. 

When Doc went back upstairs, Jeremy texted Wynonna everything that Doc had just told him and hoped that the brunette would realize that she could do the right thing. He didn’t think she was going to get a reply, but the silence still hurt.

* * *

Once the dreaded text arrived to the three girls, they jumped out of bed and decided to go meet Rosita knowing that the boys were trying to get Dolls’ assistance. The three of them headed to the door only to be met with Nicole’s parents. 

“Nicky! We had no idea you had your friends over! Are they a part of this band that you’re into?” Her mother over the sound of her juicer mixing a greenish brown drink. 

At the daughter’s head nod, her mother smiled and said, “At least we didn’t catch you with one of the boys! They’re good looking, aren’t they, ladies? Any of you all dating?” 

Knowing that the next few hours were a mystery and if the worst case scenario happened she wouldn’t come home, Nicole snapped at her mother and said, “I’m a fucking lesbian.” 

Leaving the two parents awestruck, the silently got into Mercedes’ car and ignored what had just happened. On any other day, there would be cheers and exciting chatter about what the younger redhead had just done. The three girls headed for Shorty’s in hope to keep their friend company during the most stressful day of their lives.

* * *

Like Wynonna had a month ago, Doc tossed a rock to a spot near Dolls’ window. After a few seconds, Xavier opened his window and was surprised to find someone that wasn’t Wynonna standing there with complete terror in their faces. 

“Not that I’m happy to see you both,” Dolls called out in a loud whisper. “But now isn’t such a good time. My parents are still here. And--” 

“We need your help, Xavier. Rosita’s family… they’re trying to take her back. And they’re bad people. We wouldn’t have asked if we didn’t think we needed you.” 

Dolls recognized the fear in their faces and immediately knew he had to help. He closed his window and ran down the stairs. He hadn’t been punished in weeks but knew that this was the worst thing he could do. Ignoring his parents' protests and shouting, he ran out of the house and jumped into his friends’ vehicle. 

Doc explained Rosita’s whole situation before Dolls asked, “So where’s Wynonna?” 

“Wynonna’s family was attacked by the Del Reys -- the Revenants. She was not too happy when she found out that Rosita was one of them.” 

Xavier frowned and said, “I could see how that could lead to a downward spiral. I’ll try to talk to her after we finish this fight.” 

Jeremy slapped his forehead and muttered, “We were supposed to have been thinking about how to get you out of your home. Dolls… I’m so sorry--” 

“It’s okay,” Dolls reassured him. “I’ve made plenty of progress on my own. We save Rosita first and help Wynonna. That’s our priority. But I appreciate that you are thinking of me, Jeremy.” 

Jeremy smiled and blushed gratefully at his friend and remembered how much he had missed such a good ally.

* * *

 

The group stood on the field, shaking. Shorty wanted to fight (but couldn’t with a bad leg) and couldn’t find anyone who was willing to fight against Revenants. So, he helped the only way he could and assisted them with tasers and guns for Doc and Rosita (the only two who knew how to use it). So instead, a group of terrified and awkward teens stood there, awaiting their doom. 

Minutes later, on time like always, a group of men (and one woman) slowly approached the group. The team almost audibly sighed with relief to see that only seven people were there to fight, but Rosita knew what that meant. 

“It’s The Seven,” Rosita whispered to her friends as she gripped her boyfriend’s hand harder. “They don’t leave any of their victims alive.” She hadn’t seen them in years, but she hadn’t forgotten a face. They were once her family, the only people she relied on. When she left, she never wanted to see them again. But deep down, she knew that something like this would happen. 

“Ro Ro,” Her father called out with his twisted smile that made her cringe. “It’s good to see you. You’ve grown up.” 

She swallowed her urge to scream at him and instead agreed with him. “I have grown up. I’m old enough to make my own decisions. Live where I want to live.” 

He shook his head and countered, “Family is always, Rosita. Isn’t that what your mom taught you?” 

At the mention of her mother, her eyes watered. “Leave her out of this. This is just between you and me.” 

He tilted his head and said, “Well then why are your friends here looking like they’re ready to fight? Darling, did you really think your ragtag group of geeks could fight off us?” 

“No,” A voice called out from behind all of them. Wynonna was walking toward the group of them as she swung her father’s gun around like it was a toy. Her friends gasped and stared at the brunette with awe. “She’s got me.” 

He and the rest of The Seven laughed and said, “You? Wynonna Earp. It’s been quite a long time. You were a fiery one. But just because you murdered your father doesn’t mean you have it in you to kill all of us. Though I do appreciate you not murdering my son. You don't have to join this fight. They’re out there somewhere.” 

Wynonna ignored what he had meant by that (because she didn’t have it in her to think about the implications of his statement) and shrugged. “Who said  _ I  _ was going to kill any of you? Did I forget to mention that I have other friends, Jack?” 

Right on cue, about twenty motorcycles roared onto the field and Wynonna smiled and turned around. 

“Hey, boys! You all want to show these little dicks who really owns this town?” The motorcycle gang got off their bikes and pointed their numerous weapons at The Seven. Wynonna could see the Revenants flinch and she said, “You know what, Jack? You look like you just saw a ghost. The Del Rey’s don’t control this town anymore. And you don’t control Rosita. She’s  _ ours _ and I will fight like hell to protect her. So I think you and your little minions can get your asses out of my town and leave her alone. What do you say?” 

Jack crossed his arms and approached her. Face to face, he whispered, “At least I know what you did, little girl. I know where you’ll end up. Hell has your name on it.” 

Wynonna’s mouth curved up into a furious grin and she said, “Then I’ll see you there.” 

Jack swiveled away from her and turned to her daughter. “I still love you, Ro Ro. Your friends have no idea what kind of life we used to have. We ruled like kings. Don’t you want that?” 

Rosita shook her head and told him, “I’m happy here.” 

“You were always a little bitch,” He told her like a slap in the face. “Just like your mother.” Seeing the shock on her face, he turned around and led the other Revenants away from the teens and motorcycle gang. 

Wynonna ignored the looks of utter shock on her friends’ faces and ran over to the head of the gang. 

“You gotta lotta spunk, girlie,” He told her and ruffled her hair like she was a little girl. “You’re always welcome with us, okay?” 

She smiled and told him, “Thanks, Viper. I owe you one.” 

Viper opened his arms up and she hugged him as payment. She wasn’t a part of the gang anymore, but they were still a home that she used to care for, even if the lifestyle wasn’t right for her. 

“Stay a punk, kiddo,” He ordered sweetly before getting onto his motorcycle and driving off along with the rest of his gang. 

When they were gone, she turned around and found her friends still staring at her. She couldn’t tell if they were surprised that she showed up, brought a gang as back up, or that they all somehow survived. She guessed it was probably a mix of all of the above. She was going to say something stupid to get everyone to stop staring at her when Rosita ran up to the brunette and wrapped her arms around her. 

“Thank you,” Rosita whispered into her friend’s ear as she cried. “Thank you for saving me.” 

Wynonna didn’t want Rosita to thank her. She had so many dark weeks where she had let her friends down. She thought that she was the one who needed to apologize. 

“Well,” The younger brunette explained. “You can’t choose your blood. But you can choose your family. I’m sorry I let you down, Ros.” 

Rosita pulled away from Wynonna, cupped her cheeks, and said, “You didn’t let me down. You saved my life. You’re my family.” 

The two of them hugged again and after a few seconds, Doc wrapped his large arms around them causing them both to squeal and laugh. Jeremy joined in next calling out “I knew you’d come!” And eventually, all of them were in a huge hug. 

When they let go, Wynonna noticed that Waverly had never joined in. Instead, her younger sister was standing there looking horrified. 

“Baby gir--” 

“What did he mean?” Waverly asked her sister with tears in her eyes. “That you didn’t kill Bobo and that they’re out there? Who’s out there?” 

Wynonna felt her heart break and realized that her sister had heard what Jack said. She never wanted her sister to find out what happened and what she did. But she knew that her sister was too stubborn to let this kind of thing go. 

“Can we go somewhere to talk about this?” 

Waverly shook her head and said, “No. Right here. What did he mean?” 

Wynonna ran her fingers in her long hair and tried to ignore the looks of her friends and family. She took a deep breath and knew that this could end everything that she had worked for with a relationship with her sister. 

“The night the Revenants came, Willa knew they were coming. You see, she fell in love with a Revenant. Bobo Del Rey. He wanted to take her away so that they could run away together. Daddy caught them and he… he tried to fight them. He was so angry. He wanted me to shoot Bobo. I was just a little girl. I aimed the gun and shot Daddy. Willa and Bobo ran off and--” She wanted to say more but Waverly had already turned around and started running away. “Waverly! Waverly!” She screamed as she started to go after her but was quickly stopped by Mercedes when she pulled her back. 

“She needs some space, Wyn!” Mercedes told her and held her best friend close. 

“I got her, Earp,” Nicole promised them confidently and ran off after the brunette. 

Wynonna was beyond confused. “Wha-- why is she going after her? Do they even know each other?” 

Mercedes raised an eyebrow and looked at the rest of the group who quickly looked away from Wynonna, knowing the truth of the relationship. 

“They’re actually quite close,” The redhead admitted with a shrug. At Wynonna’s confused squint, Mercedes sighed and explained, “They like each other. A lot.” 

The brunette raised her eyebrows and mouthed an ‘oh.’ She saw the looks of her other friends and came to the realization that she was the only one who wasn’t in the know. 

“Behind my back?” 

Mercedes shrugged and said, “She’s following her sister’s footsteps. Like with us.” 

Wynonna wasn’t mad that Waverly had found someone without telling her. She was upset that her sister wasn’t comfortable with telling her. That her sister couldn’t come to her. That she wasn’t emotionally available enough to be there for her sister. It hurt and she felt a wave of guilt that smacked across her face. Like a physical punch to the gut, she collapsed onto the ground and felt the world seemed to fall around her. 

She didn’t notice that Mercedes told the remaining members of the group to leave and she definitely didn’t notice her arms that engulfed her with a hug. All she could concentrate on was everything she fucked up. 

“I’ve ruined everything,” Wynonna sobbed into her friend’s shoulder. “With the band. With Waverly. With you.” 

Mercedes shook her head and told the breaking girl, “Nah. I’m still here. You haven’t ruined things with me. What happened between us happened. It’s okay. I forgive you. And Waverly will come back and tell you the same thing.” 

“Don’t forgive me,” Wynonna begged as she pounded her fists at the temple of her head. “I don’t deserve to be forgiven. I need to be punished.” 

“Why?” Mercedes asked and gulped, afraid to hear the answer. 

“Because I killed my father. I killed Waverly’s father. And I don’t regret it. I’m a monster, Mercedes! I fuck up everything and everyone I touch. I’m not a good person. Something is  _ wrong  _  with me.” 

“No,” Mercedes disagreed and kissed the top of her head. “No, Wynonna. You’re not a bad person. You’ve had bad luck and people have put you in bad situations. But you are a good person. Look at what you did today! You saved our lives!” 

“But that doesn’t matter. So what I do one good thing? I’m dangerous!” 

“I’m not afraid of you.” 

Wynonna stared into the other girls’ eyes and sighed, “I’m so tired of hurting. Of being afraid. Of hating myself. Sometimes I just want to end it all.” 

Tears flooded Mercedes’ eyes before she replied, “But you can’t.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because you have so much good to offer to this world. Because your sister loves and needs you. Because we’re in love with each other and deserve more than just a fucking tragedy.” 

Wynonna’s lips found Mercedes’ and kissed her until she felt alive again. Until she realized she wanted to be alive. And stay alive. 

But as they parted, the brunette asked, “What if she doesn’t forgive me?” 

“She will.” 

“But if she doesn’t?” 

Mercedes sighed and answered, “Then you’ll spend the rest of your life making it up to her until she forgives you. And you continue making this world a better place with you in it.” 

Wynonna nodded and pressed her forehead against Mercedes’. A thought came to her head and she asked, “How did I not see that they were into each other?” 

The redhead snorted and answered, “Because you’re blind, Wynonna Earp, when it comes to romance. Like with me and you.” 

Wynonna frowned with embarrassment and muttered, “I didn’t  _ want  _ to see it. It scares me.” 

“I know, babe,” Mercedes replied and kissed her again on the lips. “I know.”  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for reading! Please review when you can and let me know what you think!


	24. We can burn brighter than the sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna tells Waverly the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you all so much for still being here! The next chapter might come a few days early next week! Just a warning!

Waverly slammed her door after ignoring her aunt and uncle’s worried questions. She hated that her sister lied to her for so long and probably wouldn’t have admitted the truth if Jack hadn’t talked about the notorious Bobo Del Rey. It wasn’t like Wynonna talked about the incident very often (or at all) but Waverly always thought that she at least had the basic facts: the Revenants tried to take Willa, her dad tried to fight them off, Wynonna tried to shoot a bad Revenant, accidentally killed their father, and Wynonna was traumatized by making a terrible mistake. But now the whole story was shattering. 

She didn’t remember Willa very well. Sure, she was nine, but Willa had always done her own thing or hung out with Wynonna. She just didn’t spend much time with her eldest sister. She missed her, of course. She remembered her dark humor and angsty music, but everything else was blank. Much like her memories of her father. 

The photo albums were all in her room. She didn’t want to risk her sister finding them and feeling sad, so she kept them in her room. It was how she connected to her family that she barely remembered, especially her mom. There weren’t too many pictures after her mom left, apparently, her father didn’t feel the need to record their life. 

There was a knock at the door and before she had the chance to tell her aunt and uncle that they couldn’t come in, Nicole entered her bedroom. Waverly wanted to yell at the redhead, but when she saw the concerned look in Nicole’s eyes, she couldn’t. Instead, she cried, causing Nicole to run to her side immediately. 

“Oh, Waves,” Nicole muttered as she wrapped her arms tightly around the brunette as she sobbed on her shoulder. “What can I do?” 

“Nothing!” Waverly choked out. “My sister murdered my father. There’s nothing you can do to change that.” 

Nicole bit her lip. She couldn’t exactly argue with that. But she did want to remind her (girl) friend that Wynonna wasn’t a monster that had been lying to all of them. 

“I think you should go talk to her. You didn’t let her finish her explanation. Maybe there’s more to the story.” 

Waverly narrowed her eyes at the redhead. “Or maybe my sister’s a bad person like everyone says.”

Nicole groaned on the inside. This was the last thing she wanted to happen. She didn’t want to have to choose sides. Yes, it did sound like Wynonna had done something awful, but she recognized that Wynonna wasn’t an awful person and that this story wasn’t finished yet. 

“Or, she isn’t bad and she had other reasons for doing what she did. Your sister might make mistakes, Waverly. But we both know what’s in her heart. Look at what she did today.”

Waverly thought about her words for a few seconds before realizing that Nicole wasn’t scared by the whole situation. Most people would run at what happened with Rosita or Wynonna or the dangerous Revenants they were both tied to. But Nicole stayed. 

“Why haven’t you run yet?”

“What?”

“From our family,” Waverly clarified as she wiped her tears and moved away from her. “I mean, our family is as screwed up and as messed up as it gets. And yet you’ve risked everything for us. And you continue to stay.” 

Nicole couldn’t believe she was asking such a question and answered simply, “Because I believe in you both. Your family has quite literally taken me in and let me be myself. My own birth family couldn’t do that. Your sister, despite her crazy, is one of my best friends. And you… you’re extraordinary, Waverly Earp. I don’t have the words to describe the way you both have formed a place in my heart.”

Waverly ingested the words. It wasn’t like she miraculously forgave her sister just like that, but she opened herself up to the possibility that Wynonna did all of this for a reason that Waverly couldn’t have known. 

“I’ll ask her about it when she gets home,” She told Nicole and rested her head on her shoulder. “In the meantime, can you stay with me? Maybe we can watch something? What’s that webseries you go on and on about?”

“Carmilla.” 

“Let’s watch it until she gets back. Maybe some lesbian romance will take my mind off of things.” Waverly pulled out her laptop and the two of them crawled under the sheets and watched the vampire romance until the older Earp came home.

* * *

As Dolls continuously beat Jeremy at darts, Doc and Rosita relived the story of their survival to an eager Shorty, who was more than happy to see his two favorite people alive and well after what seemed like a dangerous (and foolish) mission. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to help,” He told the young adults with sadness and a small amount of shame. “A few years I would have been able to. I’m getting old.” 

“It’s okay, Shorty,” Rosita reassured him as she wrapped her arm around Doc. “I still had an army behind me. And I’m good. I feel… free.” 

Doc kissed his girlfriend’s forehead and felt this inner calm that he realized he had never felt before. Like everything was going to be okay. That he was loved by people that weren’t going to leave him. That the world was for once, on his side. 

“Well, you tell that Wynonna Earp that she’s welcome here anytime and will get free drinks. That girl has guts. Not that I’m very surprised. Her mama had the same courage. Michelle would certainly be proud of her little girl.” 

Doc raised his eyebrows, recognizing that name. “Michelle Gibson? The woman who ran this bar with you? The one you had feelings for?” 

Shorty nodded and sat down on a bar stool. “Michelle Gibson was a hell of a woman. Anytime I see Wynonna Earp, I see her mama in her. While there are a few differences, the fire is there. And so is the loneliness. I haven’t seen her around here recently. Make sure she’s always welcome, alright?” 

Both Doc and Rosita nodded rapidly, caring for the brunette deeply. They owed a lot to her. And knowing that her mother had left her, much like Doc’s father did, made them both want to help her out more. 

A bark of laughter caused the three of them to turn around and see Dolls bent over laughing while Jeremy ran over and grabbed the dart out of the wall that was far, far away from the target. 

“It’s okay, Chetri,” Dolls told him with a big slap on the back. “You can’t be good at  _ everything _ .” 

“Says you,” Jeremy muttered with a shake of his head. “You’re good at everything, Dolls! It isn’t fair!” 

Xavier cracked a smile and said, “What can I say? I’m born with it. Besides, Jeremy. There are things I wish I could do. Like I wish I had your hacking skills.” 

Jeremy tilted his head in confusion. “What do you want to hack into?” 

“The cameras at my house. At least, I want to be able to see what they see. Maybe record something of my parents. Be able to turn them off. All of it.” 

Jeremy felt bad about Dolls’ home life and how they disregarded him for the past few weeks. Sure, he was going through stuff in his own home, but Dolls was always there for the group. And Jeremy wanted nothing more to save Dolls and his sister. 

“Can you get the brand of the camera and serial numbers?” The younger teen asked Dolls. At Dolls’ slow nod, Jeremy added, “I think I can hack in. It might take a while, but it probably won’t be too difficult.” 

Dolls looked at Jeremy like he was his favorite person. He almost even reached out and hugged the younger boy. 

“You’re serious, Chetri?” 

“Of course. I mean, I guess I can’t promise anything. But it shouldn’t be too hard. I’d do anything to help you out, Xavier. We’re going to get you and your sister out of there. That, I can promise.”

* * *

Waverly and Nicole were cuddling and kissing when the bedroom door opened and Wynonna and Mercedes entered and quickly squealed and jumped out. Waverly and Nicole jumped away from each other, both red as beets. They didn’t have any clue that Wynonna knew about their relationship and the idea of her finding out through their kissing was a terrifying notion. 

“Sorry, baby girl!” Wynonna called into the room as Mercedes laughed, amused by the whole situation. “Are you both uh… not tongues deep into each other anymore? Has the snogging ceased?” 

“Yes!” Waverly squeaked and cleared her throat. “Come in!”

The two older teenagers entered Waverly’s room and Wynonna immediately glared at the younger redhead who looked like she had just seen a ghost. But Wynonna ignored that and decided to get straight to the point. 

“I understand you’re mad at me, baby girl. Understandably so. But I want to give you a full explanation before you decide how much you hate me, okay?”

Waverly nodded meekly and sat back down on her bed. Nicole stood in front of her slightly, as if protecting the brunette from anything that could hurt her. Wynonna noticed the little motion and cursed herself again for not realizing that they were so very into each other. 

It was hard for the senior to say the words that had been locked in her head for so long. She didn’t want Waverly to know them, let alone herself admit the truth. It had been too hard to face. The truth was what led to alcoholism and drugs and arrests and institutions. Letting out those demons, it was terrifying. 

Mercedes saw that the girl she loved was having trouble speaking, so she approached the brunette and held her hand, trying to give her all the silent support that she needed. Wynonna looked down at the hands and took a deep breath. She had to believe that her family wouldn’t leave her because of this. 

She swallowed and finally admitted, “Daddy wasn’t always a good man. The town idolized him, but they never saw what he was like at home. They never saw how he treated mama. He was a mean drunk. And he was drunk fairly often. When mama left him, Willa became the major object of his anger. Willa, she…” Wynonna trailed off. Talking about her sister was so hard for her. It took all of her energy to continue to speak. “She made sure she was the target. She’d do anything to protect us, baby girl. Even if that meant doing things that ensured she’d get hit so we weren’t touched.” 

Waverly looked horrified. “Why can’t I remember all of that?” 

Wynonna smiled gently at her younger sister and confessed, “Willa and I did everything so that you didn’t see it. That’s why we were always together. We wanted to make sure he left you alone. Because through the years, the beatings… they got worse. It wasn’t a surprise that Willa turned to someone else for comfort. I didn’t know it was Bobo Del Rey, but I did know there was a person in her life. She, of course, kept it from daddy, but it didn’t stay a secret for long. When he found out she was in a relationship with an adult, he forbade her from seeing him again. She got the worst punishment that day. She had to see him hurt me.” 

All of the girls were weeping at this point. Mercedes had put her arm around Wynonna’s waist and Nicole had sat down next to Waverly and the two of them huddled together. 

“She didn’t tell me, but I could tell that Willa was planning on leaving. She thought that if she left, daddy wouldn’t have any reason to be angry. I begged her not to go, but she said that she had to save us. And to give Bobo Del Rey some credit, I think the night that he came, he was trying to save her. Willa said goodbye to me that night. She kissed my cheek and told me to take care of you. But I got up and watched through my window to see her go. I saw Bobo show up to take her away from me. He came alone. And Willa and Bobo were about to get away when a whole group of Revenants showed up on their motorcycles, waking daddy up. If they hadn’t come I wouldn’t… I immediately ran over to lock your door, baby girl. I think somehow I knew this wasn’t going to go well. I also grabbed daddy’s gun. 

“Daddy was yelling at them and tried to force Willa to stay. I went outside with the gun. Dad was screaming at Willa. He told me to shoot Bobo. I hated Del Rey, but he was standing in front of Willa and I realized dad was willing to sacrifice Willa so that no one else could have her but him. I realized that even if Willa was gone, the pain would continue and I was afraid it would be directed at you too. I thought I was having to pick between Willa and daddy. I chose Willa.” 

Waverly stared at her sister with a mix of sadness and admiration. She couldn’t believe the amount of pain her sister must have been in. She hated her father for putting her sister in that position. She hated her father for crumbling their world and happiness. She was angry, but not any of that fury was at Wynonna. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Wynonna bit her lip and whispered, “I wanted you to think that daddy was a good man. That Willa didn’t choose to leave us like mama did. That it was all a mistake, an accident. I thought it would be easier for you. And for me. I didn’t want to admit what I did.” 

Waverly stood up and approached her sister. “You did what you had to do, ‘Nonna. You protected me and Willa. You saved me, Wynonna, and you’ve hidden it for so long. You’ve been so alone for years.”

“Never alone,” Wynonna countered with a tight smile. “Not with you around.” 

The younger brunette wiped her sister’s tears and told her, “I am so proud of you. You are the best sister anyone could ask for.” 

Wynonna sobbed and fell into her sister’s embrace. The two of them cried harder than either of them could remember. They mourned the innocence that both of them had lost that fateful night. They mourned the relationship they lost. Their father kept them apart when he was alive and even more when he was dead. But now, they were finally together again. For once, Wynonna felt like she truly was fulfilling her promise to her older sister. After hurting for so long, the truth set them free and they could finally mend and heal. 

After what felt like an eternity, they let go of each other and both of them felt like different people. They looked around and realized that both Mercedes and Nicole had left, presumably to Shorty’s, and gave them space to make up. 

“So,” Wynonna began and nudged her sister playfully. “Nicole, huh? How long has that been going on behind my back?” 

Waverly blushed and answered, “A few weeks. So you know about us? Before the whole--”

“Disgusting make out sesh? Yeah, baby girl. I know. I mean, Haught’s romantic little jaunt after you said enough.” 

The sophomore narrowed her eyes at her sister and said, “Mercedes told you, didn’t she?” 

Wynonna sighed, “Yep.” 

“Nicole’s great, you know.” 

That was one thing that Wynonna didn’t need convincing of. “That she is, baby girl.” 

“So you won’t go all protective sister on her? You won’t terrify her and try to learn her intentions and stuff?” 

“Ha!” Wynonna shouted with a merciless grin. “We both know I will. Come on, Waves. Let’s go find our other family.”

* * *

“Do you think they’ll be okay?” Nicole asked Mercedes as they walked to Shorty’s after leaving the emotional sister reunion. 

“I do,” Mercedes answered honestly. “They need each other. And now that they fully have one another, I can only imagine the relief and serenity they must be feeling. Not all siblings have the kind of special relationship they have.” 

Nicole frowned, knowing that Mercedes was referring to her awful siblings that the older redhead wished she didn’t have. 

“Well, I guess you’re grateful you’ve got me as a sister, huh?” 

Mercedes stopped walking abruptly and turned to the younger redhead with awe. “What?” 

“We both don’t have families that love and appreciate us in the ways they should,” Nicole explained with the simple shrug of her shoulders. “Can’t we be the family we need in each other?” 

The senior had never expected this to happen to her. Wynonna was the one person she was ever close to, and they definitely didn’t have a sisterly friendship. But talking to Nicole was the most natural thing in the world. Being her friend felt normal. And the idea of her being her sister made her feel so incredibly warm inside. 

Mercedes smirked and started walking again. “I can’t believe I’m related to such a soft dork.” 

Nicole grinned and smacked her friend’s arm. “You love me, Mer. You can’t even deny it. Speaking of… you and Wynonna looked pretty… together.” 

A smile formed on the older girl’s lips and she admitted, “I might have told her how I feel about her. The l-word might have been involved. We’ll see. I’d be more worried about what Wynonna does to you for dating her little sister. Hell hath no fury like a Wynonna scorned.” 

All the color escaped Nicole’s face, causing Mercedes to laugh before opening the door to Shorty’s bar.

* * *

When Wynonna and Waverly entered the bar, everyone knew that everything had changed. For once, honesty surrounded the sisters and their past didn’t linger in the background like some unwelcome shadow looming over them. They could finally move forward. 

The group spent a few moments hugging and catching up. While most of them had been getting together for the past couple of weeks, Wynonna and Dolls had been absent. The rhythm of their friendship quickly steadied and it was like no time had passed since the last time they were all together. 

Nicole, Dolls, Mercedes, and Jeremy were playing darts (though Nicole was beating the others so bad that they kept warning that they were going to quite like the bad sports that they were) while Wynonna and Doc were in a  _ very  _ competitive game of pool. In the background, Rosita and Waverly were announcing every move that the two had made jokily, just to mess them up. Rosita pretended she was a basketball announcer while Waverly pretended she was a golf announcer. The distractions worked.

“I can’t do this anymore!” Doc gave in and raised his hands in surrender, causing his girlfriend and Waverly to cheer and high five. 

“Sneaky, sneaky,” Wynonna stated as she turned to her sister and friend. “But I appreciate it. I, of course, would have beaten him anyway. But I’ll take any help that I can get. Speaking of help… Guys! Can you all come over here?” 

The group of dart players stopped playing and walked over to Wynonna, who was uncharacteristically grinning from ear to ear. 

“Listen, if you guys don’t want to continue this band thing, I totally get it. But I was thinking. It seemed like we were missing a little sound. Waves, me and you used to have our own concerts when we were younger. Another singer would be incredible, especially with a voice like yours. And Ros, Chetri tells me all about your masterful strings playing. Maybe Rosita and Waverly can fill in our sound? ” 

Waverly’s eyes lit up when she looked around to see everyone nodding. She wasn’t sure that the band would ever start up again, but she wanted nothing more than to be a part of it. 

“Actually,” Rosita mentioned with a grin. “I’ve been learning how to play the bass. Well, Jeremy and I both have.” 

“But she’s way better than me,” Jeremy argued with a dorky smile. “We should totally do this. It’ll be great.”

Wynonna asked the two girls, “You guys ready to be a Chaotic Peacemaker? I warn you, crazy shit happens. Your life can never be normal if you’re in.” 

“Our lives are already not normal,” Waverly argued with a shrug. “Who wouldn’t want to join a band with their best friends, sister, and girlfriend?” 

Nicole immediately blushed at Waverly’s words, surprised that she said  _ that  _ word that both of them had been itching around recently. But now that it was out, it felt right. 

“True,” Wynonna agreed. “We’re pretty cool. Except for Haught. Speaking of… we gotta have a few words, Naughty Haughty. I thought we had a bro code?” 

The younger redhead grimaced and asked, “What bro code?” 

Wynonna gasped playfully, “ _ What bro code _ ? The code where you don’t go after your friend’s sibling! It’s a global code, Haught.” 

“I’m sorry,” Nicole replied sarcastically with an eye roll. “I just don’t personally live by ‘bros before hoes.’ I’m sorry if that makes me a monster.” 

“Are you calling  _ my sister  _ a hoe?” 

Haught’s face fell and she turned to Waverly, expecting anger, but found her giggling along with everyone else. Nicole turned back to Wynonna who was grinning slyly. 

“You asshole,” the young redhead muttered. 

“Just don’t get her pregnant, Haught, and we’re good. But you know. If you hurt her, I won’t hesitate to fuck your shit up. I may like you somewhat, but she’s the most important thing to me. But you won’t hurt her, will you?” 

Before she could reply, Waverly said, “I can take care of myself, ‘Nonna. I don’t think you would want me to give the same speech to Mercedes.” 

The older redhead shrugged and said, “That’s because we all know I’d be a perfect girlfriend if Wynonna wanted to have one.” 

Most of the group laughed besides Wynonna, who stared at her best friend with wonder. They looked at each other for a few seconds and said nothing, but the silence said it all. Wynonna still needed some time,  _ but  _ she was getting there. And that was the best she could do at the moment. 

Dolls cleared his throat and said, “I hate to cut this short, but I should be getting home soon. I don’t know when I’ll be able to come for band meetings…” 

“We’re going to get you out,” Doc promised his ex-enemy with a comforting smile. “Rosita and I have been coming up with ideas.” 

Rosita nodded and added, “As a girl who ran away, I can definitely help you out, buddy. Getting out is the best thing that you can do. In the meantime, we got you a burner.” She passed it to her friend who gave her an appreciative smile. “All our numbers are already in there.” 

“And I’m going to hack into those cameras for you,” Jeremy promised his friend. “We’re going to figure out a way to do this. And maybe you can even stay in the area.” 

“We really don’t want to lose you,” Wynonna told him honestly. “Want me to come back with you and tell your parents that I kidnapped you? They’d probably believe it. I am the genuine devil in their eyes. Which, I’ve got to admit, is kind of cool.” 

Dolls chuckled before telling her, “Thanks, Earp. But I’ve got it. The only thing I’d like tonight is to play a song. Something that can keep me going until I’m out of there.” 

The group immediately traveled to the elevated floor with all of the instruments that Shorty had. Before anyone could pick a song, Dolls began playing with a thumping sound that everyone could recognize. The band was surprised about the song he chose (who knew that Dolls knew any mainstream songs) but weren’t disappointed. As often as the song was on the radio, no one could say the song wasn’t hella good. 

Miraculously, Wynonna and Waverly began singing on time and on the same pitch with the magical words: “Give me a second I, I need to get my story straight.” Then Nicole joined in, playing the chords she knew so well (who didn’t like _fun._?). When the chorus began, everyone joined in. The song wasn’t difficult, but altogether, it sounded like a symphony. Each person played their part like they had practiced it for weeks. 

And when they finished, the music rang through the bar, echoing slightly, and each person felt the truth of the last few words in each other.  

_ “So if by the time the bar closes,  _

_ And you feel like falling down,  _

_ I’ll carry you home tonight.”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for reading! Review if you can!


	25. Just Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dolls goes back home. 
> 
> Jeremy's father reappears. 
> 
> WayHaught persists. 
> 
> Wyncedes grows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I know this is so early but here's the thing. I can't update this story from Friday of this week up until at least Sunday of next week, so I thought I'd post this chapter early to make up for it! If you miss my writing during this short hiatus (lol) you should read my other Wynonna Earp fics! They're pretty cool me thinks. 
> 
> There are going to be only a few chapters (2 or 3) after this one, so I hope the break will also make you guys super excited for the end of this story. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for staying with me through this story and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

When Dolls opened the door, he didn’t know what to expect. Last time he had done this, his parents were waiting for him to get home so that he could be punished. He hadn’t rebelled in weeks and even though he felt closer to his friends, the thought of having to spend one more day in the basement made him cringe at the thought. 

And yet, he still opened the door. His mother was sobbing, a sight he never thought he would see. Neither of his parents showed much emotion (except maybe anger) and this was definitely new. He approached her slowly and she looked up at him. 

“Xavier! What have you done? I thought you had left us!” 

She had thought he had run away, and though he wished he had the guts to do it, he still wasn’t at the point where he could do it safely. 

“Well, I didn’t,” He muttered with a grimace. He looked around for his father but couldn’t find him. “Where’s father? And why are you crying?”

“He’s angry, Xavier,” She explained between sobs. “I’ve never seen him look so angry. He took Eliza down to the basement and… he told me to stay up here.” 

Dolls felt the fury expand in his bones. Shaking from head to toe, he asked, “What does that mean?” When she didn’t answer, he had understood. His mother was worried that her husband would kill their daughter. 

As much as he despised his mother, he asked, “Why can’t we get out? He wasn’t always this violent. We can leave.” 

“No! He’s your father! He takes care of us!”

“He’s killing us!” Dolls yelled louder than he could ever remember. 

She stumbled backward, taken aback by his shouts and whispered meekly, “I can’t leave him.” 

“Then let us leave, Mom! He’s controlled me and Eliza for years! Let us go! Help us!” 

She shook her head back and forth, but Dolls could see the contemplation in her eyes. He was finally getting somewhere. 

“The one thing he cares about the most is his job. What if I get a video of him abusing us and I threaten to tell his boss? Do you think he’d let us go?” 

She stared at him, horrified. But as she thought about it, as she really thought about it, she realized that he was right. That his father would let them go. Reluctantly. 

“Possibly.” 

He nodded, a bitter surge of hope resurrected inside and he ran to the basement in hope to find what his father was doing to his sister. 

Eliza was swinging from the ceiling, tied to the wall. Dolls let out a soft gasp. Usually, this punishment was reserved for the rarest of occasions. But it also wasn’t the worst. His father was just watching her, enjoying the torture, but not actually being the one inflicting any of the pain. Dolls considered not barging in (knowing that it could create more pain), but the look of her sister’s face made him storm in. 

“Let her go,” He commanded his father. “Hang me up instead.” 

His father turned around to face him grinning. “I like that idea, Xavier.” 

Eliza looked torn between being thankful for her brother and mad that he sacrificed himself for her when she was handling it. But when his father let her go, he knew he made the right decision. His father put the chains around his wrists and pulled, bringing him up to the ceiling. It hurt, it hurt like hell. But knowing that it could be possible to leave the sick son of a bitch made the pain lessen. And wondering if this was the last of the torture made him even tolerate his father’s grin.

* * *

Waverly and Wynonna offered to let Nicole and Mercedes stay at the Homestead, but the two redheads agreed that the siblings should have the night alone to be with each other to make up for the years of separation. But the redheads didn’t want to be alone. Nicole really didn’t want to face her parents after coming out so abruptly, but Mercedes didn’t want to be in her house.  

They entered the younger girl’s house and her parents were sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for her. 

“Nicky--” 

“I don’t like that nickname,” Nicole told her father honestly, done with all the lies and stupid things that she ignored to be polite. 

Her parents were obviously surprised by her attitude since Nicole was always such an obedient and good child. 

“Nicole,” Her father began again. “We don’t understand what happened. You just ran out on us. And said that you’re…” He trailed off, unable to say the words. 

“Lesbian, homosexual, gay, the whole shebang. I should have said something earlier. But I… I’ve worried about how’d you both react.” 

Her parents looked at each other once before her mother said, “It’s fine, Nicole. Girls have this questioning phase all the time. But one day you’ll--” 

“No, Mom. I won’t. That day won’t come. I won’t wake up one day and be heterosexual. I won’t marry a man and go on diets and create a joined Instagram account and go see Dave Matthews. I’m not you. I’ve never been you and I’ve never met your standards. But I’m fucking cool, okay? And my life is going to be meaningful. Not this boring cardboard granola that you’ve been living. I’m my own person, okay?” 

Her father looked like he was going to say something, but her mother put her hand on his, stopping him from saying anything. 

“Okay,” Her mother responded with a reluctant nod. “Okay. And is she, uh, your girlfriend?” 

Nicole (who was surprised by her mother’s reaction) turned to Mercedes who was smirking devilishly and told her parents, “No, just a very good friend. Can she stay over?” 

“Of course, Nicole,” Her mother told her with a brief smile. 

The two girls raced upstairs and to Nicole’s room where they discussed the extremely odd nature of the younger girl’s parents’ reaction to her coming out. They then listened to music and watched Killing Eve (because apparently, gay killers had become their thing) and talked until they were too tired to speak.

* * *

To say that Gus and Curtis were worried about their nieces would be an understatement. But when the two of them got home, with bigger smiles on their faces than they had ever seen, the two of them were more than surprised. 

Waverly immediately greeted them with hugs and a kiss on the cheek while Wynonna watched with an uncomfortable, yet pleasant, smile. 

“Hey, girlies,” Curtis said as he sat down at the kitchen table. “Can you guys come and sit with your aunt and me?” 

Waverly and Wynonna looked at each other briefly, like they had been expecting this. They sat down, along with Gus, and waited for the storm of inevitable questions. 

“I want to apologize,” Wynonna began before anyone else could say something. Her family stared at her with shock, but she continued anyway. “I’ve been… I tend to hold things in until they break me apart. And it affects other people besides me, and I have to take responsibility for that. All of you have tried to help me get better and I can’t-- I can’t thank you all enough. And all I can promise is that I’ll try harder and that I’ll be better.” 

Gus stared at her niece, beyond shocked. Curtis, instead, had tears falling down his cheeks and got up to hug Wynonna. 

“All we can ask for is that you do your best, Wynonna,” He told her as he held onto her, not remembering the last time he even came near to touching her. “As your guardian, all we want is for you to be happy.” 

Wynonna forgot the comfort family could bring. She spent so much time separating herself from them that she didn’t realize how much they could possibly love her, despite all the things she had done. 

Gus was still speechless, which concerned her. The two of them had always been on opposing sides as the rule creator and the rule breaker. More often than not, Wynonna picked her battles against her. The brunette worried that things were too broken to be fixed between them.

“Gus?” 

Slowly, the woman’s mouth curved upward into a smile and she told her niece, “Welcome home, Wynonna. I missed you so goddamn much.”

* * *

“I know it seems like we’re all ‘Operation Save Dolls,’” Rosita told Jeremy as the three of them locked up the bar before going to bed. “But we need to figure out your situation too. As much as I love you being here, your dad is probably worried sick about you. And you need to figure out how to get him help and how to get out of where you’re living.” 

“The band can help you out,” Doc agreed as he folded his arms and waited for a response from his good friend. 

Jeremy sighed and muttered, “I don’t want to worry them. It’s not their problem. We can solve things one at a time. Mine should come after Dolls.” 

Doc and Rosita shared a concerned look. The last thing they wanted was for Jeremy to think that his problems weren’t as important as the others. 

“You need to tell the others,” Doc told him seriously. “Or we will. And we don’t mean it as a threat. We just don’t want you to continue struggling. This can’t continue being ignored.” 

Rosita wrapped her arms around Jeremy and whispered, “We love you, Jeremy. We just want to help.” 

Jeremy couldn’t be angry at that, but he understood that they were being honest. They would tell the others if he didn’t. And as he headed for his air mattress, he wondered how in the world was he going to be able to do that.

* * *

Everyone was in emotional overdrive and was severely exhausted the next day. In between naps (usually on top of each other), the next day was spent together at the Homestead as they played a few songs and talked about what to do about their absent member. Even though Dolls wasn’t able to attend, they were able to talk to him on his burner. 

Xavier’s idea (which he detailed in his texts) was to get a recording or photographs of his father’s treatment and use it as blackmail. The band thought it was risky, but not the worst idea in the world. However, the problem entailed what they would do after. There was no place for him and his sister to go. 

“I can get money,” Mercedes mentioned as casually as she could as the band laid down on the grass outside of the barn. “I mean, probably not tons at a time, but enough that they could get hotel rooms and such.”

Nicole looked at her friend carefully before asking, “How are you planning on getting this money?” 

Mercedes glared at her best friend before telling her, “Not illegally if that’s what you’re thinking. But I have my ways, dearest little red.” 

“Hey, Waverly?” A new voice called out around them. The whole band got up to see this scrawny boy approach the youngest member of the band. 

Jeremy almost did a double take. He couldn’t believe that he was in close proximity to the beautiful blond boy again. 

Waverly jumped up and squeaked, “Robin! Hi! Um, we can talk over there.” She pointed to the open field near the fence. 

He nodded and followed her, leaving the other teenagers to look at each other in confusion since the brunette had never mentioned him before. 

Waverly expected him to yell at her after how she treated his girlfriend, but she was surprised to find that he wasn’t angry. Instead… he looked nervous and awkward. Robin had always been kind to her which was always something that she appreciated since most people in their friend group just weren't nice people. When she found out he and Chrissy were dating, she was happy for them. The two of them were friendly, but never close. Which was why him coming here seemed so odd to her. 

“Is something wrong?” She asked him when he seemed lost for words. 

“No, nothing’s wrong. You’re friends with Jeremy Chetri?” 

Waverly didn’t know what her friend had to do with any of this. “Yeah, he’s wonderful. Do you know him?” 

Robin shrugged as he turned slightly red. “Sort of. But that’s not why I’m here. I know a lot has gone on between you and Chris, and well, I just want you to know that I think what you did was really brave.” 

She definitely wasn’t expecting that. “Brave? You mean ditching my friends?” 

He shook his head. “No. I mean… being true to yourself. Finding the people who genuinely care about you and hanging out with them, even if everyone else judges you for it. Being… um… honest about who you are.” 

Waverly looked at him carefully and realized that he was dancing around the real reason. It wasn’t like she had come out to the school, but she had obviously been spending most of her time with Nicole and people were starting to notice (and talk about it).

“You’re talking about me not being straight, aren’t you?” 

Robin nodded desperately and confessed, “It’s hard to be yourself at our school. You know how our friends or…  _ my  _ friends don’t really accept  _ us _ . Well, they wouldn’t if they knew the truth about me.” 

She read between the lines. “Does Chrissy know?” 

“Chrissy’s a great person,” Robin admitted with a small smile. “Better than most people at our school. I mean… when I asked her out, it was so that people didn’t suspect. And it’s been fine because I do truly care about her. But by now… she must know. I mean, I don’t hide my discomfort when people try to get us to do anything physical.” 

Waverly could relate somewhat with Champ. “You should tell her. I know it seems easier, Robin, but I’ve been so much happier now that I’m being my own person.”

“You have a group of people to fall back to, though,” He pointed out with a shrug. “I have no one.” 

She shook her head. “You can come and hang out with me. I can introduce you to--” 

“I appreciate it,” He told her with a smile. “Maybe later. I’ve already taken up so much of your time. I guess I just wanted to tell you that you’re not alone. And that… I wish I had your guts.” 

She frowned, wishing that she could do more for him. “You can come talk to me at any time, Robin. Seriously. It seems lonely with our -- your -- friends, I know. But like you said, you’re not alone. There are people you can relate to. So if you ever need someone to fall back on, you’ve got me. And I’m sure my friends would be happy to take you in too. We tend to like people who don’t fit in.” 

“Thanks, Waverly. I’ll see you around,” He told her sincerely before leaving her in such a confused state.

* * *

“I hacked in,” Jeremy stated one afternoon after school when the band got to meet up in the bar, where there was actually wifi (instead of the barn). He typed away and ignored the cheers from his friends to keep his concentration. When the camera feed popped up on his screen, he knew he did it. He was in control of the cameras at Dolls' house. 

“What the  _ fuck _ is that?” Wynonna asked, pointing to the room with no windows, no chairs, or any other homely furniture that would make up a normal room. Instead, there were buckets and a chain hanging from a ceiling. 

No one answered, but everyone had their answer. That was the room where everything bad happened. That was why Dolls wanted control of the camera. So he could record whatever monstrous thing was happening in what seemed like the normal home. 

“I know nothing is happening,” Jeremy muttered darkly as he stared at the screen. “But I’m going to take a few snapshots of the room. Just in case.” 

Once he was done, he took out his phone to text Dolls, to let him know what he had accomplished and to ask what the next steps were going to be. 

**The Genius:** _ Yo Dolls! I got into the cameras! What’s the next step???? _

**Dolls:** _ Good job, Chetri. Thank you. The next step is catching him in the act. I have to do something that would lead to a normal punishment. _

**The Cool Mom:** _ Careful, Xavier. Don’t do anything that could get you really hurt.  _

**Dolls:** _ Don’t worry, Rosita. I’ve got it covered. I’ll text you and let you know when I’m about to do it. _

**The Genius:** _ ^thumbs up _

“He’s going to do something idiotic, isn’t he?” Waverly asked the band who immediately nodded. 

“Well, he is a part of this band,” Wynonna pointed out to her sister. “It’s all in the name, really. So, what song--” 

She was interrupted by the sound of the bar doors slamming open. Jeremy’s father was standing there, fuming, with his hands balled up into fists. 

“D-D--” Jeremy began as he got up to approach his father while everyone else jumped up and huddled around their friend who seemed genuinely concerned for his safety. “Dad, what are you doing here?” 

Jeremy’s father ran up to his son and boomed, “Where is she? Where’s your mother? I thought she was picking you up?” 

Jeremy cringed. He thought his father was angry that he was gone for so long. But in reality, his father was still stuck in the past, angry that his mother had gone to pick him up and would never come home. 

“Dad, you should sit down. Doc can you get my dad--” 

The man lunged for his son’s shirt and dragged him before his friends could pull the large man off of him. 

“Where is she?! This is all your fault that she’s missing! What did you do with her?” He screamed as Doc and Wynonna held the man back away from his son. 

Jeremy was crying and telling his father, “She’s gone, dad. She’s been gone for years. She’s dead, dad. You just forgot.” 

“Where is she you little freak?” He screamed again. 

“She’s in Hargrove!” Jeremy yelled back. “Go back to Hargrove, Dad. She’s there.” 

His father pulled out of Doc and Wynonna’s hold and immediately left the bar with a mission in his head that Jeremy sent him on. The young teen fell to the ground and Rosita, Nicole, and Waverly rushed to his side. 

It remained silent for a few seconds before Rosita asked him, “What’s in Hargrove?” 

Jeremy gulped and confessed quietly, “It’s where my mom died and was buried. It should distract him for a while.” 

“Jeremy…” Nicole began, startled that her friend was going through something that she had no knowledge about. He didn’t seem overly startled, which made her realize that his father's behavior couldn’t have been totally new. “What was that?” 

Noticing Jeremy’s lack of wanting to reply, Doc put a comforting hand on his shoulder and said softly, “Tell them, Jeremy. Tell them why you’ve been living at the bar for the last few weeks.” 

Looking at the worried faces of his friends, Jeremy sighed and then gulped. He didn’t want this conversation to go down like this, but now was a better time than any. 

“My father… he hasn’t been right since my mother died. He’s been in denial. Denial that has gotten so bad that he’s become delusional. My father lost his job and found one here, but I’m sure he’ll lose it or has already lost it. It’s only getting worse. At least before, he just pretended like she wasn’t dead. But now… he’s stuck thinking that she’s gone somewhere. He’s trying to find her when she can’t. And he knows it’s my fault.” 

“Your fault?” Waverly asked as she held his hand and wondered what he could have possibly meant by that. 

Jeremy sniffled and wiped the tears that fell down his cheeks. “My childhood best friend, his name is Emmon. You could hardly separate us. I didn’t even know I liked him when we first kissed. Emmon was always the one who took the risks. He kissed me, and that was it. We were only together for a week when my parents walked in on us. My parents forbade me from seeing him. I was so angry,  _ so angry, _ that I snuck out that night to go see him. When my mom came to collect me, she wasn’t angry. Actually, if anything, she was upset with my father. She said she didn’t like that I was already dating, but if I wanted to still see him, I’d be allowed to with supervision. I was beyond ecstatic. But it was raining and my mom swerved away from a car that came into our lane and we drove off a cliff. I don’t remember any of it. I remember being in a hospital and them telling me I was lucky to be alive after being stuck for three days. I remember them telling me my mom was dead. I remember my father not being able to look at me. And I can’t blame him. I’m the reason why the love of his life is dead.” 

“No,” Wynonna told him without hesitating. She immediately walked over to him and cupped his cheeks as they became wetter by the second. “No, Jeremy. You are not the reason your mom is dead. As someone who has literally shot a parent, you have no blame in your parent’s death. Your mother died because this world is fucking unpredictable and cold, not because of anything you did.” 

Jeremy wondered if he and Wynonna had ever been this close together, but now, looking in her eyes, he knew she was being sincere and that she meant every single word that came out of her mouth. It meant a lot to him, but he knew that he was the reason his mom was dead. That couldn’t change with a few words. 

“If I hadn’t snuck out--” 

“If your father hadn’t forbidden you to see Emmon,” Wynonna countered seriously. “If it wasn’t raining. If that driver had been more careful. If there wasn’t a cliff. Jeremy, if you drown in what-ifs, there won’t be any escaping. But you have to realize, you aren’t the only factor in what happened.” 

Jeremy hadn’t thought of that before. “How do I stop the guilt?” 

Wynonna frowned, understanding everything that her friend was going through and hating that someone else had to deal with it. 

“My guilt hasn’t gone away,” Wynonna admitted slowly. “I have so much guilt about so many things, Jeremy. I could write a book longer than  _ The Lord of the Rings  _ about all the things I feel guilty about. But after a while, things get better. Guilt alleviates. And allowing others to love you is easier than it used to be. But I’ll let you know when it all washes away, okay?” 

He stared at her, loving her more than he ever thought possible, and wrapped his arms tightly around her. In her arms, he felt like he deserved forgiving himself, even if his father never could.

* * *

“Wow, so, your mom’s okay with it?” Waverly asked as she lightly stroked Nicole’s arm, sending shivers down her back.

Nicole snorted, “I wouldn’t say she’s ‘okay’ with it. More like she grudgingly accepts it. My dad on the other hand, well, who the hell knows. But it’s better than nothing. And their opinions, they’re starting to matter less and less.” 

“Aww,” Waverly cooed as she kissed her cheek. “My baby’s confident! Things are looking up for WayHaught!” 

The redhead raised an eyebrow. “ _ WayHaught? _ ” 

“It’s our ship name, apparently. Jeremy said we needed one. Maybe we’ll become as iconic as Sanvers or Hollstein or something like that.” 

Nicole rolled her eyes. Only Jeremy and Waverly could believe something like that. Always the romantics. 

“Maybe we’ll become just as iconic,” Nicole told her flirtatiously. “If we actually go on that date that we keep talking about…” 

Waverly gasped playfully and said, “Nicole Haught, are you asking me out on a date? You player.” 

“I must confess,” Nicole grinned happily. “I am infatuated with you, Waverly Earp. Totally, completely head over heels for you. And accompanying you on a date… well… that would just be a dream come true, darling.” 

The brunette gaped at her, surprised by her charming antics. She couldn’t believe that anyone was speaking to her like this. It was genuinely the opposite of anything anyone (like Champ) had said to her. 

Instead of speaking, Waverly leaned over and kissed her girlfriend and the only thought in her mind was:  _ this is what love feels like _ .

* * *

Wynonna tried to ignore the fact that her sister and one of her best friends was a bedroom over and alone in that room. But it was hard to not have disturbing images come into her head about what they could have possibly been doing. 

“ _ Relax _ , Wyn,” Mercedes told her with a smirk, knowing exactly what the brunette was thinking. “Nicole’s a good girl. She’ll be polite. They’ll only fuck if--” 

“I swear to god, Mercedes Gardner, if you finish that sentence I’ll--” 

“You’ll what, Wynonna Earp?” Mercedes grinned with the most devilish smirk. “Are you going to silence me? How? With your own lips?” 

Wynonna stared at the redhead and resisted taking off the redhead’s clothes that very second. But she didn’t. She pushed that urge down for the sake of the weird place they were in relationship wise. She didn’t want to ruin what they had in the moment, even if, at some point, Wynonna did want more. 

“Don’t tempt me,” the brunette advised her with a small shake of her head. 

Mercedes stared at her with mixed feelings. She wanted to move things along so desperately, but she didn’t want to push her too far. Wynonna was extremely skittish and vulnerable. The last thing she wanted to do was scare her away. 

“You know,” the redhead pointed out. “The unresolved sexual tension isn’t going to… go away on its own.”

Wynonna gulped and whispered, “I don’t want it to go away.”

“What do you want?” 

There wasn’t a flicker of doubt or lingering anxiety. Only hope and a dash of warm feelings that went past the romantic kind. Her body ached for her in a way that Wynonna never thought was possible. Because loving someone never, ever, felt possible to her. And allowing someone to love her, she never thought that day would come. But here they were, hand in hand, heart in heart, and the answer was so clear, so pure, so instinctive, that the world seemed to wash away when the final word was spoken. 

“You.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Comment if you can or come talk to me on tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay ! I'd love to hear from you!


	26. Interlude: Moving On (pt. 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly, Mercedes, Xavier, and Rosita begin to move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short hiatus! I'm back! 
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to the #Win4Wynonna! I'm so proud of all you Earpers! 
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay

There are days when being yourself seemed harder than playing a character or putting on a mask and Waverly knew this well. She spent years creating a persona that others would like and relate to, abandoning the flame and it’s warmth in her heart so that she could protect herself and hide the truth that she was not like everyone else. Nicole and her sister taught her that it wasn’t a bad thing to be different, that it wasn’t something that she should try to run away from. She was done hiding and living a sheltered life. 

Nicole was more than willing to flaunt their relationship to the entire school (which Waverly took as a compliment) but the sophomore wasn’t as ready. There were already rumors about them (they tended to be extremely touchy and look at each other with what Jeremy called 'heart eyes') but their relationship hadn’t been officially confirmed. And Waverly didn’t want to confirm them until she talked to her parents about her girlfriend. Luckily, she had a very understanding girlfriend who was very fine with taking things slow. 

Talking to her aunt and uncle about everything seemed imminent, but the fear lingered in the back of her mind. There would always be that fear of not being accepted, but knowing that she already had a group of friends that loved her made it that much easier. 

On a Wednesday night after a long band rehearsal, Wynonna helped Gus and Curtis chop up vegetables as she animatedly told them about their setlist for the gig they were going to play at Shorty’s later that week. Waverly watched the interaction with a smile on her face; she could have never imagined a night like this a year ago. But feeling the warmth around the room, she knew it was the right night to tell her family about herself. 

They sat down to eat salads and Waverly put down her fork. Her family looked up at her expectantly, waiting for her to say what she needed to let out. Her hands were shaking and under the table, Wynonna grabbed them and squeezed them tightly. It was exactly the kind of support she needed in the moment. Because no matter what happened, she had her big sister. And that meant everything.

Taking a deep breath, she looked between her aunt and uncle and confessed, “I’m dating Nicole Haught. And I… I haven’t figured everything out yet. But I know that I like girls.” 

Gus and Curtis shared a look of amusement before admitting to their niece that they had known for quite a while. 

“What do you mean you  _ knew _ ?” Waverly gasped as she ignored the chuckles that burst from Wynonna’s mouth. 

“Pumpkin,” Curtis began, “you have never really hidden your feelings for Nicole very well. We weren’t sure at first, but then Nicole starting coming over just to see you. I mean, that girl was into you since the beginning but…” 

“You took longer to have feelings,” Gus finished with a grin. “Oh honey, we might be old, but we understand young love. And that is what you and Nicole share.” 

A blush crept on Waverly’s cheeks, but she nodded at that statement. “I had trouble realizing that the feelings that I felt for her were romantic.” 

“Well, it’s definitely an improvement from that Champ Hardy,” Curtis said and high fived Wynonna, both earning a glare from the youngest brunette. “Nicole’s a great girl, Wave. And if you’re happy, we’re happy. That’s all we want, pumpkin. For you to be happy.” 

Joy flooded her system, almost outrageously so. It was overflowing and magical. It felt like freedom and peace and the purest happiness that she could ever imagine. Accepting herself was hard enough, but getting it from her family was what changed everything. She could finally be herself and feel content. 

After hugging her aunt and uncle, Wynonna told her family the joke that was in her mind for weeks. 

“Apparently, the Earp sisters love their pussy. Must be in the water or something.” 

Ignoring the disgusted groans and rolled eyes, the older Earp sibling smiled and realized that she was also free to be herself as well, dirty jokes and all. Waverly shared a grin with her sister, both feeling that fear of abandonment and disapproval dissipate. 

\- - -

Nicole couldn’t hide her excitement when Waverly told her that she came out to her family and was ready to come out to the school. Waverly didn’t care that Nicole was jittery and that her hand was sweaty, though. She was just happy to have the redhead holding her hand as they walked through the halls and watched the surprised faces of their stupidly shocked school mates and old friends of the brunette’s. 

The chatter about them was inevitable but ignoring it was hard. Especially for Waverly who spent years perfecting her image and trying to be the person that her school would like. It was hard for her to hold her head high and disregard all the stupid shit people said behind her back. But seeing Stephanie’s disturbed face was when Waverly realized that everything she was doing was right and good. 

They didn’t kiss too often in public (that just wasn’t them) but holding hands became almost a constant. It was rare for them to get a comment in person about their relationship, but they learned how to tune it all out. 

Some people were actually nice about the whole thing. They realized that the LGBTQ+ community at their school was larger than they had ever thought and quickly made friends with some of them. Though, most of their positive reactions came from people that were still in the closet who remarked about their bravery. 

Their most interesting interaction was with Chrissy and Robin in their last week of school before summer vacation. Robin expressed that after his conversation with Waverly, he talked to Chrissy about their relationship. 

“Which is funny,” Chrissy explained with a sly grin, "because I knew the whole time! I thought we were both in on it. I was fed up with Steph trying to pair me up with someone so I asked the gay guy out.”

“You fooled me,” Robin told her with a shrug. 

Waverly nodded and added, “You fooled everyone.”

Chrissy stared at her old friend and stated, “Looks like we weren’t so different after all. I shouldn’t have gotten so pissy with you--” 

“No,” Waverly disagreed with the shake of her head. “I wasn’t a good friend to you. You deserved better than how I treated our friendship. I shouldn’t have cut you out like I did. Do you think there’s a way we could… mend things? Be friends again?” 

The principal’s daughter smiled and told her, “That would be fantastic, Waves. I’d hate to lose you. And now I have got to get to know your girlfriend. So, Nicole Haught. What invasive grilling questions do I ask you first?” 

The banter between the four of them started a fuller, longer lasting friendship that none of them could have expected. Chrissy and Robin abandoned their dreadfully boring friends and started to spend most of their time with the couple or even with the band. 

“Being yourself is hard in this town,” Chrissy admitted to Waverly one night as they sat in the bar and watched Robin and Nicole sing a terrible duet on karaoke night. “Thank you for letting me be myself. You’ve changed everything, Waverly Earp. You’ve led the way for the people at our school to be allowed to be different. It’s miraculous. You should be so proud.” 

Waverly breathed in those words as she looked around at her group of misfit friends that she had learned to love and care for just as they had for her. These were _her_ people. They were all laughing and joking and loving each other and all she felt was pride. 

* * *

As the end of the school year approached, Mercedes’ family began the transition from moving out of their oversized mansion. Her father was taking Tucker to Florida and her mother was taking Beth upstate somewhere. Mercedes wasn’t angry that neither of them offered to take her. She was graduating and had her own life after all. 

Though, the thought of ' _ holy shit what am I going to do after college' _ fucked her up for a while. She and Wynonna just started the whole ‘couple’ thing and she was not ready to ask the brunette to go away together. No, actually, she was ready, but she was sure that the brunette wasn’t. 

The solutions to many of the band’s problems came to her when she overheard her father complaining about there being no potential buyers of the house and discussing whether or not to just rent it out. The only problem was that her parents didn’t like her much and she could never imagine her parents giving her the house out of the kindness of their hearts. No, she had to do something that would convince them to give it to her. 

Her family was cruel and heartless, so blackmailing them didn't make her feel too guilty. In fact, her father wasn’t surprised when she asked for the house and some money in return for staying silent about Beth’s strange dabble in rituals and kleptomania. His only reaction was grumbling about it being easier to keep than sell and he then asked about how much money she wanted. 

Keeping it all from her friends was the hardest part. She didn’t know how to exactly break the news to Wynonna for many reasons. The main one being, her hope was to ask the brunette to move in with her. And Mercedes feared that it would completely scare her away. But as Dolls and Jeremy approached the time of needing a place to stay, she knew that she had to come clean about having one. 

Mercedes spent most of her nights at the Earp Homestead with a smile on her face. She loved hanging out with her girlfriend (finally, she could say that), Waverly, and Nicole. Gus and Curtis had always been good to her too. But the weight of the question she knew that she had to ask had caused her to retreat into herself while she spent time with them. 

“Mercedes, you doing okay, darling?” Curtis asked her one night as she uncharacteristically picked at her spaghetti. 

After her reluctant nod, Gus asked her, “Did Wynonna do something? I told her she needed to be a good girlfriend.” 

That comment made Mercedes chuckle, especially at Wynonna’s glare at her aunt. When Wynonna introduced Mercedes as her girlfriend, both her aunt and uncle shouted ‘finally’ causing much embarrassment. Ever since then, the two of them had made playful jokes at the couple that always caused Mercedes to laugh and Wynonna to roll her eyes. 

But this time, Wynonna looked over at Mercedes with fear in her eyes. She genuinely worried that the redhead’s recent solemn nature was because of her. Mercedes immediately recognized that fear and asked Gus and Curtis if they could be excused so that they could talk privately. 

They could hear the crickets when they opened the door and sat down on the steps of the porch. An unmistakably peaceful night for such a heavy discussion. 

“I wouldn’t be mad, you know,” Wynonna whispered as she stared at her hands, afraid to look at the redhead. “If you wanted to end this. I know we agreed to try it but I can only guess how difficult it must be to… have me as a--” 

“Move in with me,” Mercedes blurted out before Wynonna had the chance to continue. At the stunned look in the brunette’s eyes, she continued, “My parents are giving me the house when they split. They’re moving in a week. I wanted the house so that Jeremy, Dolls, and Eliza could have a place to live. But there was also you. I am so in love with you. I want you to move in with me.” 

Wynonna was speechless. She thought this conversation was going to end in a breakup, not a further (much further) step in their relationship. Taking steps for her was difficult. Truthfully, she had spent the last few weeks in denial that her senior year was ending. She had no clue where she would be going next. 

“I know that you always planned on leaving Purgatory,” Mercedes muttered as she sat down next to the brunette. “But I thought… you know with all the good things you got going on here… your relationship with Waverly, the band, your aunt and uncle,  _ me _ … I don’t know. Maybe it’s silly.” 

“It’s not silly,” Wynonna corrected immediately. “You’re right. I have so many reasons to stay. And I d-do. Want to stay, that is. God, I can’t believe those words are coming out of my mouth right now. But yes, I do want to stay. And the thought about being with you is… so fucking fantastic, Mer, but I have to admit, the idea scares the shit out of me.” 

Mercedes nodded with somewhat relief. “I know it’s scary. But it’s not like I’m asking you to get married. Unless… you want to.” 

Wynonna glared at her girlfriend as shivers ran down her back. “Let’s have that conversation in five years, babe.” 

The redhead nodded and tried to hide her excitement (she was surprised it wasn’t fifty years). “My point is we spend so much of our time together any way that it shouldn’t really change much.” 

The brunette disagreed. “Mercedes, you know that I love… being with you. But I just found a good place with my family. And I am now being a good sister with Waverly. And so I feel like I can’t totally leave. But maybe… maybe I can be with you on weekends. I can start with that.” 

And God, that was better than nothing. Mercedes wrapped her arms around Wynonna and breathed her in. 

“I never thought we’d have this, you know,” The redhead confessed in a whisper. “I never thought you’d want me back. That you’d want all of me. I mean I guess that I hoped that you’d come around eventually but...” 

Wynonna kissed her gently and said, “Yeah, it took me a while to… understand that getting closer to you wasn’t a bad thing. Hell, it took me years to call you a friend. I’m sorry that it has taken me so long.” 

Mercedes shook her head and responded, “None of that matters. We’re together now. We’re happy and in… We’re happy. And if it takes us years to move in and get married, that’s cool with me.” 

The brunette smirked and pulled her girlfriend in closer. “In the meantime, you can tell Nicole that we got married without her. She’ll flip out, it’ll be hilarious.” 

“She’d be so angry. God, can we go do it now?” 

Wynonna laughed at the unbelievably thrilled look in the redhead’s eyes. They loved Nicole, but playing a prank on her sounded so incredibly fun. They couldn’t know at the time that when they actually pulled the prank, Nicole went berserk and yelled at them for minutes. 

But as Mercedes watched Nicole scream at her things like “how could you do that behind my back” and “I thought you were like my sister,” she was slightly intimidated (because who knew Nicole could actually be scary) and bursting with love (because who knew someone cared enough to get this angry). 

Growing up with a family who didn’t give a shit about her meant that she grew up thinking she’d never have people who could love her unconditionally. Luckily, throughout her senior year, she was proved wrong.

* * *

Dolls flinched as his father slammed the basement door and left him down there in the dark. Luckily, his explosive punishment was recorded on camera, just as planned. He and Jeremy had made sure that everything was timed perfectly. He knew that when he got out of there, he’d be able to break free. The thought of it made everything easier. 

He didn’t tell Eliza, just in case everything went wrong. He knew she needed the hope, but he wouldn’t allow it to be taken from her. That was the worst feeling of all and he knew it. It terrified him. 

When the door opened the next morning, he raced upstairs to find his burner phone under the mattress. Jeremy and the others sent him texts about it working and that they had a full compilation video of all the abusive shit he had gone through in the last few weeks. He didn’t watch the video that was sent to him. He didn’t know if he could live through it. Before meeting the band, he didn’t understand how good life could be. Since then, his father’s actions horrified him. It was harder to live with the trauma. 

Once they had a final plan of where he and Eliza could go (thanks to Mercedes), he decided to threaten his father. Xavier learned how to look terrified from his own father, but acting aggressive still felt wrong. So he took the calm approach. 

He sat his father down and showed him the video. 

When it was over, his father asked, “What the hell is this?” 

“It’s the exact thing your boss wouldn’t like to see. I’m not sure the police captain would allow one of his men to be an assaulter himself. But what do I know?” 

His father stared at him with fury in his eyes. Struggling to stay centered, he muttered through his teeth, “What do you want?” 

“I want you to let me and Eliza go. We’re getting out of this house. We’re taking our things and our documents and leaving.”

His father barely reacted. “Why?”

Xavier glared at him. “Because you’re an abusive piece of shit and I can’t live here another day.” 

“I thought you understood me, Xavier. You always followed the rules when you were younger. You always found ways to make me proud of you. The son I’ve always wanted. You were so much like me. And then you met those horrid friends of yours and you abandon me. After everything I’ve done for you, given you.” 

Dolls felt his whole body shake. The thought of him being like his father was something that gnawed at his bones and truth be told it was something that he had thought about many nights when sleep couldn’t reach him. But his father was right about one thing: everything did change when he met his friends. They helped him realize that he was nothing like his father and never would be. 

“You’re a monster,” Xavier told him without restraint. “You’re not capable of feeling anything. I have no idea what that’s like. Eliza and I are going to pack up our things while you get all of our documents out of the safe. Or I’ll send this to your boss.” 

His father grunted as an answer and then asked, “Where are you going to go?” 

“A place where we can be loved and cared for.”

He pushed past his father and traveled to his sister’s room. Eliza was laying down flat on her bed staring at the ceiling. When he knocked on her door politely, she looked up and stared at him, wide-eyed and full of curiosity. 

“You’ve been avoiding me for weeks,” She said with hurt in her voice. 

Xavier nodded honestly and told her, “I have been. And I know that it wasn’t fair to you. But talking to you would have been too hard for me.” 

“Why?” She got up from her bed so that she could have a better look at him. 

“Because I was planning on getting us out of here and I didn’t want to let you down if it didn’t work.” 

Eliza gasped softly and said, “So if you’re telling me now…” 

“He’s letting us go,” Xavier explained with a small smile forming from his lips, waiting to see her reaction. “We’re leaving tonight.” 

She almost felt faint hearing those words echo in her mind over and over and over again. She thought that she must have misheard him somehow or that she was going crazy. Both options seemed more realistic than the possibility that she was getting out of her house. 

“ _ What? _ ” 

“Pack your things,” Dolls commanded with another grin that Eliza could barely recognize. “A friend is picking us up in a few hours. Dad’s getting all of our documents together so that we don’t ever have to come back.” 

“ _ How? _ ” Eliza didn’t think this was possible. She understood that his friends were trying to help them get out, but this was all… too good to be true. 

“Nevermind that. Just start packing. I’ll be back in a few minutes. I’ve already had most of my stuff in bags for weeks.” 

He walked back to his room and texted his friends that everything had worked out and that they could pick them up soon. The band sent what seemed like hundreds of all capitalized letters and emojis that made him shake his head. 

Once the room was cleared out (not like there was much in there anyway that was personal) and put into a few bags, he looked around at the empty walls and felt his heart sink. He couldn’t believe he had been here for this long and hadn’t tried to leave sooner. But then Eliza came into his room with one bag in her hand (she was punished much more often than he was) and sat on his bed. Her look of awe raised his spirits again. He did this for her. 

\- - - 

The siblings felt little when they said goodbye to their crying mother. She had never been the kind of mother she should have been and they never felt that connection to her. She never loved them, and therefore, they weren’t capable of loving her either. 

Xavier was surprised that his father got all the papers together. He thought that would have been the hardest thing. But when his father gave him his birth certificate, social security card, passport, and other necessities, Xavier did not thank him. Instead, he threatened his parents to never reach out to them or find ways to get them back. 

With sighs of relief that their father had not stopped them, they left their house to find a car already waiting for them out front. Mercedes was driving and Jeremy and Wynonna practically jumped on top of Dolls when he opened the back door. Eliza was new to the group, but after a few minutes of listening to them chatter about how happy they were that they got out, she wasn’t worried about fitting in. 

After discussing that the others were already waiting for them back at the house, Jeremy and Dolls discussed how everything went with his father. 

When they pulled into the long driveway and Eliza noticed the huge house that they were pulling up to, she asked, “What the hell is this?” 

“This is my house,” Mercedes explained to the youngest girl with a devilish smirk. “Or, I guess it’s our house now.” 

Eliza gasped and turned to her brother who nodded casually. He had purposefully kept out the information about the mansion as a surprise to his little sister. In the rearview mirror, he caught Mercedes’ eyes and smiled. He couldn’t be more grateful for the redhead. 

Knowing his friends well, he wasn’t really surprised that when they entered the large house that the rest of his band jumped out with “Welcome Home” banners. That didn’t stop his heart from swelling up with joy, however. He finally had a family that loved and supported him. He could finally keep his little sister safe and happy with a group of people that could genuinely care for them.

He watched Eliza gaze at the friends and house in wonder. He knew that she felt like she was home when she hugged every person in the house. Like him, Eliza didn’t like much personal contact, but here she was, hugging everyone. He understood that she realized they were her family now, too. 

With tears in his eyes, Wynonna’s arm around his waist, and Eliza dancing with Jeremy in his view, Xavier Dolls felt his walls crack and the chains open. For the first time, he was finally free. 

* * *

Rosita stared at the little test in her hand with the two pink lines and wondered if the fear that sunk into her was the same fear that her mother had when she found out. Diana Bustillos was the toughest person she had ever known, but Rosita was sure that being a Del Rey was what killed her. Immediately, she realized she was glad that she had broken free from her family. She wasn’t sure that she wouldn’t come into contact with her father ever again (he wasn’t one to give up so quickly) but she was sure that she had people who could protect her if he ever came back. 

But she wouldn’t allow him to ever find out that she was pregnant. Even though Fish had left (presumably back to wherever the other Revenants were) she was afraid that there were still people around who connected to them. The urge to protect her unborn child was strong, even at this stage. 

“Rosie?” Jeremy asked as he knocked on the door to the bathroom. “You’ve been in here for a while now. Are you okay?” 

Jeremy was in transition of moving into the Gardner mansion along with Dolls and Rosita but he had still hung around the bar quite frequently. As awful as it was to live in the basement and as nice as his huge room was in the mansion, Doc and Rosita had become his family and it was hard for him to leave. 

She wiped away her tears and tried to shake away all the negative thoughts that she had about parenting. But she was too late. Jeremy opened the door and noticed Rosita’s red eyes and the oddly shaped object in her hand. 

“I just found out,” Rosita muttered as she sat back down on the toilet. She wasn’t going to deny the truth to one of her best friends. As much as she wanted Doc to be the first one to find out, she didn’t want to hide it from Jeremy. 

He looked down at the two lines and asked, “You’re having a baby?” 

A small chuckle fell from her lips before she answered with a nod. She looked down at the ground, afraid to see his reaction. She was embarrassed by how careless and childish her mistake must have seemed to be. She was always so diligent and thoughtful, this just seemed so out of character. And she didn’t want him to look at her differently. She didn’t want the pity. 

“You’re going to be such a good mom,” Jeremy told her honestly as he crouched down so that he could hold her hand. “If that’s something that you want to be.” 

He was telling her that she had options. It was something that had been in the darkest crevices of her mind.  _ She didn’t have to keep the baby if she didn’t want to _ . It should have comforted her, but it didn’t. 

“Whatever you want,” He added on once he realized that she seemed overwhelmed by all the choices. “I’d support you no matter what.” 

Rosita put her arm around him (much like a big sister would) and whispered, “I love you, Jeremy. Thank you.” 

\- - - 

She could barely get Jeremy to leave her side after he found her in such a vulnerable position. When she returned to the bar, she had to remind him that just being around alcohol wasn’t going to do anything to the baby. He tried to tell her to not work, but she knew that would only concern her boyfriend, who already seemed to know that something was wrong. Rosita wasn’t good at hiding her worries from Doc. 

After they closed up and Jeremy had headed off to the mansion, he sat down with her and attempted to gently confront her about what was wrong. 

“I’m pregnant,” Rosita whispered as he wrapped his arms around her. “At least I think I am. I need an appointment but…” 

It didn’t take a genius to notice that her boyfriend was completely stunned. His eyes involuntarily widened and his mouth opened. This was definitely news that he was not expecting. They were so careful and so… so unprepared for something like this. 

“Oh. Um… and are you… uh… feeling okay?”  

She almost laughed about how concerned he was about her health and told him, “I’m fine, babe. It’s you that I’m worried about. You look a little sick.” 

“I’m a little… I don’t know how to be a father, Ros. This  _ terrifies  _ me.” 

Rosita grabbed his hand feeling grateful that he was being honest. “This scares the shit out of me too. I have no idea how to be a mother either. And I know we’re really young but… I don’t know… Maybe we can do this together, you know?”

He kissed her cheek lovingly and said, “I can’t promise you that I won’t make any mistakes, darlin. But I can promise that I’ll stay. That I won’t be my deadbeat father and that I’ll try my hardest to be a good man and a good father. If you want me and this, that is. I’m all in.” 

She stared at him, letting his words sink in and flow through her body. These were the words of comfort and love for each other and of a child. Words that made her truly believe that this could be the most wonderful mistake. That they could be the parents that they needed and wanted as children. 

Rosita kissed him, tasting both of their tears that fell down their cheeks. She loved him more than anything in the world and she felt so incredibly lucky that he loved her and their child just as much (or maybe even more). 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Only two more chapters left! Please review if you can!


	27. Interlude: Moving On (pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now, y'all get to see what Jeremy, Doc, Nicole, and Wynonna have been up to!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that this story is ending. I have so many feelings about it. 
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay or twitter @chaoticpeacemkr

Jeremy wished he could take care of his father better. After what happened to his mother, he felt like he had to save his father in the way that he couldn’t save his other parent. He didn’t want to lock him up in some insanity ward, but he was having trouble finding other options. His friends were trying to help him, but he felt overwhelmed. 

“You’re allowed to be confused, you know,” Doc reminded him as they quietly cleaned up the bar one night. “It’s hard to love someone who hurts you.” 

The boy nodded and replied, “Or the other way around. It’s hard to not love someone even if they hurt you. He’s my father. I don’t want to lock him away.” 

“Don’t think of it like that,” Doc suggested wisely. “Your father _needs_ help. You can’t help him on your own anyway. Outside, he’s a danger to himself and others. Getting him help is exactly what he needs. It isn’t wrong and you aren’t being a bad son for doing it.” 

Theoretically, Jeremy _knew_ that. But he still felt like he was betraying him. He remembered when he was younger and his father joked around about preferring to be shot rather than go into an old person’s home. 

“This will keep him safe, Jeremy,” Rosita promised him sincerely and gave him a side hug. “We’ll help you through it. You don’t have to do this on your own. You have _us_ now. And, well, everyone else.” 

\- - - 

He wasn’t alone. 

That was the biggest adjustment from life a year ago. He was no longer in fear of his life or alone with the burden of it. 

Becoming legally independent took a while to go through. He had to provide proof of a job (Shorty helped him out with that), stable cash flow, and a place to live (thank god for Mercedes). What wasn’t in question, however, was his father’s well being. When they found him trying to break into his old house (where new people resided) they agreed with his son. He wasn’t fit to be a parent and needed help. 

When the legal process was done, he gradually began to move into Mercedes’ mansion. She gave him a large room and plenty of space for him to come to terms with everything that had happened to him. She never pushed him into conversation but was there to listen if he needed to talk about something. 

It was also super nice not having to live in a basement anymore. A bed was also something he seriously missed. 

Dolls and Eliza moved in soon after and he was getting used to having housemates. Truth be told, since everyone had their own bathroom and space in the fridge, sharing a house with a bunch of friends was less big of a deal than he would have thought. He was expecting to be tired of them after a week, but he found himself getting closer to all of them. When he needed to be alone, they gave him space. When he wanted to hang out, they were there to laugh with him. Especially when school was over. 

Once his father settled into an institution, he was allowed to go visit him. He was worried to see his father and face the inevitable rage. He was finally forgiving himself, he didn’t want all his progress to go down the drain. 

Separately, each member of the band offered to go with him. He was grateful for the support that they offered, but he was afraid of them seeing what his father would say. 

“I know you’re thinking about going alone,” Nicole told him a few days before visiting day. “But I was thinking that some of us could drive you there and wait for you in the car. And if something happens, we’ll be there for you afterward.” 

Nicole was his first friend in Purgatory and in some ways she sure knew him better than anyone in Purgatory. She knew what he needed without having to ask.

\- - - 

“Are you sure that you want to go in alone?” Wynonna asked him as they pulled up to the facility, ready to drop him off. Over the year, she had learned that it was easier to go through hardships along with somebody and thought that Jeremy might need someone. 

He considered it but ended up deciding to go in alone. 

His father’s psychiatrist greeted him and kindly explained all the changes his father was going through. 

“He’s not fixed, kid,” The doctor expressed carefully. “We don’t think that there’s just one problem with your father. He’s progressing with therapy but he’s still getting used to the medication. He also has to deal with addiction and withdrawal. But it’s a good thing you got him in here, son. This was his only option.” 

Jeremy listened attentively, but the questions he had weren’t really being answered. He cared about his father’s mental health, but he wanted to know if his father was _his father_ again. 

“Is he…” Jeremy began, a little embarrassed. “Is he angry still? Does he understand that my mother is dead?” 

“Most of the time,” The doctor answered honestly. “Usually, your father is in two states. One where he’s in the past and he’s waiting for your mother to come home, or another where he knows that your mother is dead and he’s looking for you. That’s why we wanted you to come so that he can see that you’re alright. If he’s not lucid, however, we will have to take you out of the room. He’s is occasionally violent in his first state.” 

That didn’t really reassure him. But he didn’t want to run away. Not now. 

His father had his own small room that he was forced to keep clean. Very different than the way he was living at their old house. His appearance matched the room. He looked healthy and brighter, not sullen and dingy. He immediately looked up at him when Jeremy entered the room. He stared at him for a few seconds as Jeremy shook. And then he cried. 

“Dad…?” 

“You’re alive!” He called out and approached his son, looking him up and down. “I thought you were gone. I thought you and your mom… Jeremy, where’s your mom?” 

Jeremy bit his lip. He knew he couldn’t expect an immediate recovery, but this was still a slap in the face. 

“She’s not here,” The doctor interfered kindly, speaking so Jeremy didn’t have to. “But Jeremy is here to spend some time with you. Isn’t that nice of him?” 

His father nodded and pulled out a chessboard. 

“Remember when we used to play every Saturday?” He asked his son with hope in his eyes, something Jeremy hadn’t seen in months. 

With tears in his eyes, he nodded and sat down with his father. As they set up the game, his father asked about school and how he was doing, much like he did before the whole incident. It was the best experience with his dad since the accident. 

They talked about little things. Jeremy knew he had to be careful about his words, but his father didn't get angry throughout the whole session. It gave him hope of a recovery. 

The guilt subsided as he left the building, listening to the psychiatrist talk about next steps and the long term game plan. He _had_ done the right thing. He gave his father the chance to recover and live the rest of his life. 

As his friends had promised, they waited for him outside. He was glad that when he opened the door they didn’t bombard him with questions. They waited for him to share if he needed to.

He still had trouble sharing the burden and letting people in. He didn’t want their pity or their sympathy. He wanted to stubbornly deal with things on his own as if it was an act of strength. But as they drove home, he listened to his friends talk about song lyrics that made them shudder in the glory of them or cringe in disgust and thought about how far his friends had gotten over the year. He realized that all his bandmates were strong and that their strength sparked from each other. He thought about the bravery and courage that radiated from Wynonna when she spoke about the aftermath of killing her own father. He thought about Rosita dealing with her family and admitting her father’s control on her and Dolls confessing his abuse. There was something powerful about unfolding your pain so that your friends can help pick up the pieces. 

“My mom tried to memorize REM lyrics,” Jeremy told his friends and squeezed Nicole’s hand tightly when she offered it. “She was a beautiful singer and yet her favorite bands were the ones where the singer spoke so fast you couldn’t understand what they were saying.” 

“Your mom had good taste,” Wynonna replied with a kind and understanding wink. 

Jeremy nodded in agreement. “My dad religiously listened solely to The Beatles and nothing else. We tried to push other music onto him, but he just wouldn’t have it. He loved my mom more than the world, but he was also an old man stuck in his ways…” 

He went on and on talking about his parents and was struck by how closely they all listened. They chimed in during pauses and allowed him room to laugh and cry when he needed to. It was the first time he had talked about either of them since the accident. He had held it in for so long that when he let the words escape freely, he felt relief. He wasn’t ready to talk about everything (like Emmon or his agony when waking up alone in a hospital) but he was prepared to let his friends know and understand him. Opening himself up made him feel vulnerable and raw, but for the first time, he also felt like he was mending.

* * *

Doc wondered if the pounding in his chest was a heart attack because it certainly felt like it. 

He woke up with his heart racing and he went to sleep (after trying for hours) with it practically thumping out of his chest. It was beating so fast all the time that it felt like it was aching. Tired and sore. 

Rosita was functioning like normal and Doc began to think something was wrong with him because she seemed calm and he felt like the world was ending. She told him that she was terrified and yet… she seemed so graceful and fearless about it.

She even had a smile on her face when she told Shorty about their news. Shorty offered his congratulations and hugged his two employees, promising them both a job for as long as they needed it. 

He was worried about everything. Money, their jobs, their relationship, her health, his own parenting abilities, and the list went on and on. His parents had been just as young when they had him and that did not turn out so great. His fear was so strong that he feared his own fear. Obviously, he was overthinking things. 

Doc didn’t tell his pregnant girlfriend about his anxiety. He figured that she had enough things to worry about. He could tell she knew something was up, though. It wasn’t like he was good at pretending like everything was alright. 

\- - - 

There were no keeping secrets in the band. It just didn’t happen. Someone would find out and then it would spread like a wildfire. Jeremy was a fantastic friend, but he was not a good secret keeper. He accidentally told Nicole when they were talking about the progress of the band. Nicole told Waverly (and who would expect anything different) in the span of a few hours. And when they were hanging out at the bar and Wynonna suggested spiking the water, Waverly shouted the news to the whole band. Everyone turned to the embarrassed couple who both muttered under their breath, “surprise.” 

“Holy fuck, you have a bun in the oven?” Wynonna gasped as she stared at two of her closest friends. 

Ignoring her girlfriend’s crude question, Mercedes shouted, “Congrats, parents!” She ran over to the couple and gave them a hug, tumbling them over. Nicole joined in to tell them how they were going to be fantastic parents. 

“Is everyone here in a serious relationship?” Eliza whispered as she leaned over closer to her brother. 

Xavier chuckled and told her, “Almost everyone,” before walking over to the couple and told them how happy he was for them. 

Jeremy and Waverly immediately started having a conversation about spoiling the baby with unlimited toys and gifts and clothes. The idea of having a baby in the family excited them beyond belief. 

“You okay, Wynonna?” Rosita asked the brunette when she noticed that the girl was still gaping at them. 

Wynonna’s stunned look slowly transformed into a smile and she said, “I can’t think of two people that would be better parents than you two. You two must be batshit crazy for doing this. Believe me, I know crazy. And this is a good crazy.” 

Rosita hugged the brunette tightly and felt the neverending support surge from the younger girl. The two of them had gone through a lot to be at this point. Both of them wanted to run and hide from their past and family, but they stayed and found family in each other. And now that family was growing bigger and the love only seemed to multiply. 

Doc was surprised by the band’s unlimited support. He was expecting at least one person to tell them that they were being naive and stupid. But instead, all they received were praises and babysitting offers. 

“You look like you just shat your pants,” Wynonna muttered as she nudged him at the bar as Rosita talked to the rest of the band about baby names. “I would be too if I was you. People like me and you didn’t grow up with parent figures we could really look up to.”

“Neither did Rosita. And she’s--”

“Just as fucking scared as you, buddy,” Wynonna told him sincerely as she patted him on the shoulder. “She’s just cooler about it than you are.” 

Doc glared at her and asked, “How in the hell do you know how she feels?” 

Wynonna returned the glare and said, “Because she’s carrying an actual human thing inside of her and every parent is terrified out of their minds. Your girlfriend might be better than you in every way, Doc, but she’s just as freaked out. She’s just better at hiding it. And you aren’t. It’s obvious that you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.” 

He sighed and admitted, “I never thought I’d be having to do this. I can barely take care of myself. And my father he… I don’t want to be like him.” 

“Then don’t be like him, Doc. Don’t leave. Be the good man you are and love your child and girlfriend the best you can. That’s all anyone can ask of you.” 

He nodded and self-consciously asked, “What if I’m a bad father?” 

Wynonna shrugged and answered, “Then your kid has Rosita and all of us to help them. You’re not alone in this. You have a whole fucking army behind you. But I wouldn’t be too worried about that. You’re going to be a good dad.” 

“How do you know that?” 

She smiled at him and said warmly, “Because you know what it’s like to not have a good father. And you love Rosita and the kid. And despite how much I make fun of you, you’re a good man. It’s okay to be scared, Doc. Being scared means that you care. But you can’t let the fear turn you to stone. Because Rosita needs you. And if _I’ve_ noticed your strange behavior, she definitely has.” 

He knew she was right. He had to get himself together. And surprisingly, her pep talk did help. She was good at wake up calls.

\- - - 

The gang had left and things had settled down. When they headed upstairs to the apartment above, an idea came to Doc’s head. He grabbed his guitar and asked his girlfriend to sit down. 

“John Henry… what are you doing?” Rosita asked him with curiosity. She watched carefully as he began to strum and play as if he didn’t hear her question. 

Doc wasn’t the best singer, but he could carry a simple melody and in that particular moment, his voice felt resonant. 

_“Our childhood is memory, still ascended high in dreams_

_And I’m suspending what I held for preconceptions of being_

_I only say this to affirm our time is short_

_But we’ve will to carry on_

_Transcend with our scars and contusions_

_I was furious and dumb, lighting fires through the town_

_I’d play the fiddle and forget whatever I was pissed about_

_I know that most of you relates to some extent_

_And God, I know how lame it sounds_

_But I’m glad I became more human_

_Stay, don’t go_

_We’re like halfway through the halftime show_

_Do not let this one end_

_Before you emerge as the winner_

_So let me love with a vengeance_

_My sad, sweet and unfinished friend_

_And we can go and mock the skyline now_

_Those bourgie windows full of dickheads_

_We don’t know a thing about_

_You wanna feel absolved tonight_

_I’ve heard what you’re saying, it’s okay not to be so alright_

_But you’re not alone.”_

She cried as the words spilled out of his lips, the tune carrying itself around the room. He put his guitar down and she tackled him with a hug and kisses all over his cheeks. 

“I’m sorry for being so weird and dickish,” He whispered and held her close. “You deserve better than that. But I swear to you, Rosita, I’ll try harder. I’m going to be the best father on this goddamn planet, okay?” 

Rosita kissed him sweetly and told him, “I already knew that, babe. Our kid is so lucky to have someone like you.” 

He breathed in her words and he finally started to believe it. 

* * *

“You guys suck,” Nicole muttered grumpily as she stared out the window. “I’m still mad at you guys, you know. Playing that trick on me wasn’t cool.” 

Wynonna and Mercedes shared an amused smirk. The younger redhead hadn’t forgiven them for telling her that they had gotten married without her. The idea terrified her but when they admitted it was a lie, she became more than angry. They knew they had to make it up to her. The cliff was the best apology they knew. 

They stopped at the cafe as they had all those months ago when they first became friends. The poor busboy that Wynonna flirted mercilessly with (and jokingly offered a kinky foursome with) immediately recognized them and ran away once they entered the establishment.  

“I’m glad to see that I leave lasting impressions on people,” Wynonna whispered in Nicole’s ear before the three of them sat down with their milkshakes. 

“You scarred that innocent boy,” Nicole muttered frustratedly. 

“Oh, Haught-stuff, that boy is _not_ innocent,” Wynonna argued nonchalantly. “And _you_ should not be saying anything, Haught. You can’t take the high road with this one. You’re dating _my_ little sister. She’s the innocent one that you’re tainting.” 

Nicole blushed and looked down. Under her breath, she murmured, “It isn’t any of your business but we haven’t done anything.” 

Wynonna raised her eyebrows and said, “Oh. Well, good for you. However, it’s still terrifying to think that the person you were closest to sleeping with is my sister.” 

The younger redhead blushed again and avoided Mercedes’ eyes at all cost. Because as often as she and Waverly kiss, they hadn’t gotten as far as that one night that Nicole drunkenly tried to take off Mercedes’ clothes as they sloppily made out when they were both depressed and upset. 

“Woah, what is that?” Wynonna demanded as she looked back and forth at both of her guilty-looking friends. “Why are you both acting like that?” 

“What are you talking about, Wynonna?” Mercedes asked her, knowing that Nicole wouldn’t be able to lie to the brunette. 

“You two! When I said ‘closest to sleeping’ you both immediately looked down! What are you two keeping from me? Haught dog, have you slept with someone else that I know?” 

Nicole stared at the table, afraid that if she looked at the brunette she would collapse with the truth. She hadn’t thought about that awkward night in months and suddenly the gravity of the whole thing became pertinent again. 

“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” Mercedes intercepted, hating to see the other redhead in such agony about something that barely mattered. “Remember when I told you that little red and I had a _very_ brief smooching session? I think that was probably her most… well… yeah.” 

“Hang on,” Nicole said, her eyes flicking up at Mercedes’ carefully. “You _told_ Wynonna about that?” At the older girl’s head nod, she facepalmed and groaned. 

Wynonna smirked and told her friend, “I am a big girl, Haught. I handled it just fine. Besides, I can’t really blame you, can I? My girlfriend’s goddamn sexy.” 

Nicole immediately cringed and shuddered, making an inhuman sound as she watched her two best friends kiss like no one was watching. The two of them were normally good with PDA (unless they were drunk) but Wynonna wanted to mess with Nicole. 

“Jesus Christ, can’t you two do that somewhere else? You have a whole big mansion to do that in now.” 

“Haught,” Wynonna muttered in between kisses, “Is _he_ watching?” 

Unfortunately, Nicole knew exactly who she was referring to. The younger redhead looked around to find where the busboy had gone. She heard the crash of a plate breaking and immediately saw the boy staring at the two of them with a mix of disgust and horniness in his eyes. Nicole looked away and found an amused grin on Wynonna’s face once they stopped putting each other’s tongues into each other’s mouths. She knew. 

\- - - 

The world seemed like a different place since the last time they had been to the cliff. Not only did the actual cliff look different (the ice had melted and the greenery started to appear), they felt like they were different people. Sure, they were still made up of the same stuff, but there was just enough change that made them feel like they had grown up. 

School was ending in a week and Nicole wondered how much would change once the last bell rang for the year. She was used to having Wynonna and Mercedes around at school, even if the two seniors rarely hung out with her and the other younger kids. There was always something scary about change. Nicole wasn’t sure if she was ready for it. 

Her parents had been bugging her about college. It had always been her plan to go after high school, but now she had her band, her friends, and Waverly, she was scared to let go. She finally found her place and found people who loved her. She didn’t want to move on. 

With the sea breeze in her hair, she hated that she had anxiety on the top of the cliff when her mind was supposed to be relaxed. That was the whole point of the fucking cliff. 

“Hey, little red,” Mercedes whispered as she grabbed the younger girl’s hand as if she knew exactly what was wrong. “You see that baby bird trying to fly?” She pointed to a little blue bird hopping and fluttering about. Nicole smiled and nodded, staring at the little creature with intrigue. “I bet it seems to the bird that it’s safer on the ground. Even though its parents had shown them flight, the bird’s afraid. And that’s okay, you know? All birds are afraid to fly. But that shouldn’t mean that the bird shouldn’t fly. Because the bird _can_ fly. And I know that once it does, the bird will be safer in the air, despite thinking the ground was once a sanctuary.” 

Tears flooded Nicole’s eyes and she desperately nodded, knowing exactly what Mercedes was talking about. Wynonna approached her other side and held onto her other hand tightly. 

“What if the bird found friends on the ground that can’t fly like she can?” Nicole asked them gently, afraid of the answer. 

“Then the bird’s friends will watch with amazement as the bird flies knowing that the bird needs to fly. _Deserves_ to fly. The friends will watch with pride and know that the bird will come back and see them again.” Wynonna’s words were careful, sincere. Hopeful. 

Nicole breathed it all in and realized they were right. She had dreams and plans before she came to Purgatory. And they may have changed a little, but her real dream hadn't remained stable. She wanted to help people. 

A couple of years of college and a few months of the police academy wouldn’t be too long. There were always breaks and weekends for visiting. And besides, she knew there were plenty of job opportunities in the Purgatory police station. They were super understaffed when she and the others were held in custody after the fight at Bulshar’s. 

And anyway, most of that was beside the point. Planning for the future meant nothing if she couldn’t live in the now. Getting worked up about possible futures would be a waste of time. The cliff taught her that. She still had senior year. And she was going to make it count.

\- - - 

As cute and romantic as Nicole wanted to be on their mini-golf date, she was becoming more and more engrossed with the game. Usually, she could control her need to win (especially on a date with the girl of her dreams), but tonight she was itching to beat her opponent, even if it was her girlfriend. 

Waverly wasn’t upset. She wasn’t one to get competitive over sports, but she found it entertaining to see Nicole get all fired up about something so… arbitrary about who won. The whole point was for them to hang out together. But the more agitated Nicole got, the more amused Waverly became, and the more the brunette tried to win, just to see her get angry. 

When Nicole missed her final shot that would have allowed her to win, she picked up the golf ball and threw it in the disgusting little body of water. She regretted it the second she did it. And then embarrassment filled her up. They were supposed to return the golf balls to the workers when they finished. Nicole didn’t have a ball to give. She turned around to find Waverly laughing at her hysterically. 

“I’m... sorry,” Waverly muttered between bouts of laughter. “I… can’t... stop.” 

Nicole was less worried about her laughing and more worried about not having a ball to return. She always followed the rules and found this mortifying. 

“Baby, it’s okay,” Waverly tried to reassure her with a cheerful kiss on the cheek before Nicole came to a conclusion. 

“We’re leaving,” Nicole ordered softly to not draw attention. 

“ _What?_ ” 

“We’re sneaking out of here.” 

Waverly thought it was ridiculous (but so Nicole at the same time) and yet followed her lead. She just wanted to see how this turned out. 

Hole by hole, they tried to duck behind statues and hide behind giant colorful objects. They felt stealthy. But it wasn’t stealthy. They made it out holding in their giggles and sighs of relief. This was not how they thought their night would turn out. But it was better than they could have ever imagined. 

“My baby’s a criminal,” Waverly joked as they held hands back to the Homestead where Nicole promised her girlfriend’s aunt and uncle she would drop her off at. 

Nicole rolled her eyes and said, “It wasn’t like we were breaking a law, per se. I feel like returning the ball is just a suggestion.” 

“Whatever you say,” the brunette joked with a smile across her face. “I can’t wait to tell Wynonna. You’ll make her proud.” 

The redhead jolted in fear and spent the rest of the walk home begging her girlfriend to not tell her sister about the whole thing. Eventually, Waverly gave in. She just wanted to see her girl all happy again. 

Gus and Curtis gave them five minutes of alone time in Waverly’s bedroom before Nicole had to say goodbye. The redhead was about to joke that they could to _a lot_ in five minutes, but she was interrupted by a kiss. 

“I love you, Nicole _Rayleigh_ Haught.” 

Nicole stared at her girlfriend acknowledging how much time it took them to get to this place. The redhead realized she could have said those words to the brunette the first time she had been in Waverly’s room when she needed help taking her shirt off. But she also understood how hard it must have been for Waverly to say those words and how far she has come to accept herself and her feelings. 

“I love you, too, Waverly Earp.” 

They kissed again and it felt infinite. She thought she could do this forever. She realized that their relationship could survive through anything. Even long distances and college. 

With her lips on Waverly’s, all Nicole knew was that she was ready to take flight. 

* * *

“Why am I not drunk?” Wynonna complained to Mercedes over and over again as they sat in uncomfortable chairs, felt the hot sun shine on them for hours, and listened to Nedley’s never-ending speech. It was, in every way, torture. But with the redhead’s hand in hers, maybe it wasn’t _so_ bad. 

The brunette wanted to bail on graduation. She argued that since she spent most school hours not on school property, she shouldn’t have to graduate on school property. But then she saw how excited Gus and Curtis were (they bought a whole camera and everything) and decided to suck it up and get her diploma. 

“Because this is the last time you have to be on school property and you shouldn’t be spending it wasted.” 

Wynonna grimaced. She loved Mercedes, but it was still pretty much Hell. 

The one thing she wasn’t expecting, however, was the number of cheers that emerged once Wynonna walked across the podium to shake her principal’s hand and receive the piece of paper. Not only were Gus, Curtis, and Waverly shouting, Doc, Nicole, Xavier, Rosita, Jeremy, and Eliza were standing up and screaming too. For a second it startled her and sent her into shitty thoughts like ‘I don’t deserve this.’ And then she stopped and took it all in. Because she wasn’t running anymore. This was her life and those were her people shouting for her. Life didn't seem so bad after all.

She had to admit, the after-party was actually fun. Shorty offered his bar to the two graduated girls and they kindly took it. The night was pretty chill, filled with games, karaoke, lots and lots of food, and plenty of hugs. 

“I remember when you were three years old, Wynonna,” Gus began as the night started to slow down and the group of people sat around and listened to personal stories that included either Wynonna or Mercedes (or both of them since they usually were never without the other). “And you were singing with your mama in this very bar. Your mama had a thing for Tom Petty and she tried her hardest to get you to like it. And you did. At three years old you were singing the song “Refugee,” imitating his cadence, at the top of your lungs with your mom dancing in the background. You told me that you wanted to be a rockstar and I asked you why. I thought you were going to say something like fame, money, or boys, but you told me you wanted to be a rockstar for the music. You astounded me then, Wynonna, and you keep doing it. You earned this, darlin'.” 

Wynonna teared up and hugged her aunt, letting the tears go freely. A year ago, she wouldn’t have handled a story about her mother. It hurt her too much to think about and she’d drink away the pain. But now she was able to ingest the words and remember the good in them. Her mother left, and Wynonna gathered she probably had her reasons, but she was able to forgive her and recognize that she really _wasn’t_ her mother. 

“Tom Petty, huh?” Doc asked with a sly grin. “I remember when you said I wasn’t allowed to sing any of his songs solo.” 

“I just didn’t want you to embarrass yourself,” Wynonna joked with a wink. 

“He sang to me a Gang of Youths song,” Rosita told her friend as she patted her boyfriend’s shoulder lovingly. “And it was very sweet.” 

“Ooh, romantic, Holliday,” Xavier quipped with a grin. He put his hand on his heart and blinked at the other boy with a flutter. “When will I get a song?”

Doc grumbled, “This night is about Wynonna and Mercedes.”

Saving her friend, Nicole started to tell a story. 

“I was new to this town and I didn’t have anyone to talk to,” Nicole explained a little sadly. “But then Nedley,” she said and pointed to the guy who lifted his beer at her appreciatively, “kindly suggested that she start a band with the piano geek. She probably didn’t want to, but she did. And God, I had no idea how much she would change my life. And then I met Mercedes, who hated me at first. It’s a redhead thing. Probably thought Wynonna was going to fall in love with me and I’d take her girl. But then they started showing me how to live and love and I’ve never been happier. It’s hard for me to find the words. So, instead, I thought we’d sing a song for you two to show how much you both mean to us.” 

Mercedes and Wynonna shared a surprised gape as they watched the rest of the band get up and get onto the little stage. The two graduates held hands as they watched their friends start to sing a song they both recognized. “Don’t Wait Til’ Tomorrow” was about being there for your friends in the hardest of times. The song couldn’t have been truer to the band.

Wynonna rested her head on Mercedes’ shoulder as the tears gently fell down her cheeks. She had come a long way to get to this point. Sometimes when someone’s hurting, the most they can do is survive. Wynonna understood that sometimes the hardest part of life was living and not knowing how to survive. But it had all been worth it. The pain, the sacrifice, the _surviving_ was worth it for this moment, right here. 

A smile crept onto her lips. She felt euphoric as the song swam into her ears and her heart melted into the rhythm of the strong. She felt like, for the first time ever, she felt like she was at home in Purgatory. And there wasn’t a part of her that wanted to run. 

\- - - 

“This was probably a bad idea…” Wynonna stated as she shook her leg up and down and felt the sweat creep down her forehead. She felt warm and cold at the same time and tried to keep her attention on the clicking of the computers, the chatter of the workers, and the smell of coffee. Much more lively than the station in Purgatory. “There’s probably a statute of limitations of something.” 

Xavier shook his head and said, “There isn’t. We checked, remember? We all talked about it. The five of us.” 

He was referring to himself, Wynonna, Gus, Curtis, and a lawyer. Wynonna hadn’t told anyone else about what she was doing in case it didn’t work out. The lawyer didn’t have high hopes about the whole situation. He said she said cases never worked out for the ‘she.’ 

“Good thing my dad doesn’t work for the state,” He muttered darkly. “He’d get this thrown out immediately.” 

“We’re going to get him too, you know,” Wynonna told him and held his hand. “You know I’d be the first one to stand by your side, right?” 

“Of course,” Xavier agreed with a nod. “Right when Eliza turns eighteen. We’ll send the tapes to his cop friends and boss. But one step at a time, right?” 

“One step at a time. I think I’m here today because of you, Xavier. You saved my life all those years ago. If you hadn’t called the cops about the weed, I don’t know if--”

“You’re here, Earp,” He interrupted and put an arm around her shoulder. “That’s all that matters. Because believe it or not, Wynonna. You also saved my life. Quite recently in fact. So I think we’re even.” 

The door opened and the detective popped his head out and said, “Ms. Earp? We’re ready for you now.” 

Xavier gave his friend another squeeze of the hand before she got up and headed for the room where she would tell a room full of strangers about what Ian Bulshar did to her when she was younger. 

\- - - 

“Did you think that mama left because of daddy?” Waverly asked as the two sisters stood at the grave of their father. Neither of them had visited him since he died, but it was his birthday and they felt like it was time to say goodbye. 

“I do, baby girl,” Wynonna told her sincerely and stared at the tombstone with mixed feelings. “She loved us. I know that. But daddy he… he was too much for her, you know? And Willa… she had to get away too.” 

“Have you thought about trying to find her?” 

Wynonna had. All the time when she was younger. It was all she did for months. It drove her crazy. 

“Not anymore, Waves,” the older sibling admitted. “I’ve learned over the years that if she wanted to see us again she would. We haven’t gone anywhere. She could come back if she wanted. I’m thinking that she’s happy out there.” 

“I’m glad you didn’t leave. I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t here. You’re my hero, Wynonna. I know this world hasn’t been easy on you, but you stayed and fought. There is no one that I look up to more.” 

Wynonna felt her heart swell up. For years, her relationship with her sister remained rocky in fear that she’d damage her. More than anything, she worried about fucking her sister up. She didn’t know that the one thing her sister needed was Wynonna herself. 

“You know, baby girl. I think I could say the same thing about you. I’m so proud of you, you know? Where’d you get all that goodness from?” 

Waverly smiled and answered simply, “From you.”

Laughter fluttered out of Wynonna’s mouth and she said, “Well, it didn’t come from anyone else. He might have been our father, Waves, but he was _not_ our dad. At least, he wasn’t a good dad. I spent so many years hating myself for what I did… but he _hurt_ us. And I don’t know w…” She trailed off, not knowing what else to say. 

“Set yourself free, ‘Nonna,” Waverly ordered her sweetly. “No one blames you for what you  _had_ to do. I’m so, so proud of you. Now, come on. Let’s walk away from here, alright? Me and you.”

Wynonna wiped the tears away, held her head up high, and said, “It’s always been just me and you, hasn’t it? You think it’s fate?” 

“Destiny, maybe,” Waverly agreed as they started to walk away. “Luck is more what I’d call it. You’re the best sister anyone could ask for.” 

The desire to argue ached at the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed the urge. Learning how to not be so hard on herself was something she’d have to work on for the rest of her life. But Wynonna was trying. Because her sister’s love was something that she once thought she didn’t deserve. But now that she had it, she would never let go. Because after all these years of hurting and feeling alone, love was something she’d never take granted for. And maybe, with the help of her chosen family, she realized that she deserved love too. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please review if you can! 
> 
> Only the epilogue left!


	28. Epilogue: We Find Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Sorry it has taken me so long to finish this up, I've been trying to perfect it for all of you and deal with medical issues. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, so send happy vibes my way if you can :)
> 
> This story is so important to me. I hope all of you could relate to a character in my fic and feel closure in this epilogue. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this last chapter, please comment at the end and tell me what you think, or come talk to me on tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay or twitter @chaoticpeacemkr
> 
> Oh, and this epilogue is dedicated to Luckie.

Wynonna Earp was notorious for three things: sex, drugs, and rock n roll. Unfortunately, no matter how many years had passed and how many lives had changed, Purgatory remained naively unforgiving and ignorant. Despite being in a long-term relationship, being clean (okay, she’s still a singer in a rock band) and staying out of trouble, the town of Purgatory hadn’t let go of teenage-rebellious Wynonna Earp, loud mouth and trouble maker extraordinaire. It didn’t matter that she was now a co-owner of a music shop (selling both CDs and actual instruments) and gave kids free vocal lessons, she was still considered the town’s local head case. 

A lot had changed since she was a teen at the beginning of her senior year; before Nedley had forced her to make a band with Nicole Haught. Gus would say that she grew up and became responsible. Curtis would say that she let people in and got help. Her sister would say that she learned how to love and let others love her. Truthfully, Wynonna would say it was all of those things. 

But, _she_ would be the first person to tell someone that growth is not about making superficial changes; a lot of it is luck through meeting the right people. Of course, she feels pride in all that she’s accomplished (a band, a store, a solid relationship with family, a girlfriend, and maintaining friendships) but she’d immediately share the credit with her band, her _people_ , her family. Those who inspire her to be better and make her see the good that she’s made of. 

People say broken kids come from broken homes, but that isn’t always true. Broken kids can come from anywhere. From abusive parents to overbearing ones; from dead parents to vanished ones; from kids with siblings to an only child; from the most popular to the shyest kids in town. Brokenness isn’t discriminatory. It doesn’t have to do with strength or a lack of it; brokenness stems from the short supply of love when it is needed the most.

Everything in a teenager’s life feels dramatic and catastrophic. A failed test, acne, or a break up can feel like the end of the world. Part of it is because of mental health and its stigma. Some of it is hormones. But there’s something different about being a teenager and being broken rather than being an adult who’s broken. There’s something much more lonely about it.

The Chaotic Peacemakers found each other broken, cast aside, and in need of unconditional love and acceptance. Not all of them could find love in their parents (some even had to escape their own) but they found their family. Because that’s the thing about broken kids. Once together, the pieces of them start to mend and become whole again. 

* * *

 

Calls at 3:00 in the morning were never good. So, when Wynonna answered her phone, she was expecting news about something terrible. Doc’s nonsensical blabbering didn’t help the matter. She heard Rosita’s name and worried that something was wrong. But then he said the word ‘labor’ and realized that nothing was wrong. In fact, something incredible was happening. 

Doc was scared shitless, that was obvious, but he told her not to call anyone else and that she didn’t need to come in if she didn’t want to. Wynonna thought he was being ridiculous. There was no way she would miss the birth of Rosita’s kid. And she knew that her bandmates would feel the same way. 

So, she woke up her sister and called Mercedes and told her to come pick everyone up. They were all going to the hospital. 

After stopping for some coffee, the band made it to the hospital in fear that they missed everything. They didn’t. They _definitely_ didn’t. TV glamorized the whole birthing thing. After meeting up with Doc and the actual doctor, they realized it would be many more hours until Rosita would actually pop, much to their chagrin. 

“You’ve got an army here for you,” The doctor commented kindly as the band surrounded Rosita’s hospital bed, crowding the room unapologetically. “Before the sun has even come up. That’s rare. They’ll be good for keeping you occupied, Ms. Bustillos. I’ll come check up on you in a little bit.” 

Once he left, the band bombarded the mom-to-be with questions about how she was feeling and if she needed anything. 

Overwhelmed, Rosita turned to her boyfriend and uttered, “I thought you were just going to call Wynonna.” 

Doc glared at Wynonna and said, “I did. I told her not to call anyone.” 

“They would have been mad if they found out that you only called me and didn’t expect us all to show up and show our support,” Wynonna argued and nudged Doc’s shoulder. “Besides, the doctor is right. We’re here to keep your spirits up and keep your mind off of… well… you know. You guys are about to be parents. Like actual parents.” 

Doc and Rosita shared a look and sighed. 

“Yes, Wynonna, thank you for that reminder. We almost forgot,” Doc responded sarcastically. “So, did you guys bring anything for us to do?” 

Jeremy pulled out a bunch of board and card games and Mercedes got her speaker out. 3:00 AM and hospitals be damned, they were going to have fun if it was the last thing they’d do. And as a smile crept on Rosita’s face the band felt like they made the right decision. 

Long hours passed and they were only shushed a few times. For every contraction that Rosita had, she had a new person holding her hand. The doctor was right, Rosita _had_ an army. And they would never let her forget it. 

It was a school night and the morning was approaching, but Eliza, Jeremy, Nicole, and Waverly weren’t going to miss the birth. Four kids who hated missing school shrugged when Rosita told them they should go. 

“Some things are more important than going to physics,” Jeremy reassured the brunette with a comforting smile and hand squeeze. 

As the time approached for the band to leave, the doctor joked, “Are you all sure that you don’t want to stay? You can break the record for how many people are in the room during the actual birth.” 

“Of course we’re staying,” Mercedes told him seriously. “This is _our_ baby.” 

“Really?” Rosita asked her friend, amused slightly. “Is it going to be _your_ baby when its diaper needs changing?” 

Mercedes stared at her blankly for a few seconds and then said, “Yep, we’ll go.” 

“You guys got this,” Wynonna told the parents as the band hugged them both and reassured them that everything was going to be great. “And we got you. We’ll be just outside.” 

Doc and Rosita thanked their friends as they left the room. They headed to the waiting room and tried to distract themselves from what was going on. Now that they weren’t trying to calm down Doc and Rosita, the group was a big ball of stress themselves. 

They tried to distract each other by playing poker and betting on what gender the baby would be and what the parents would name the kiddo in question. When they said that all could be said about the Bustillos-Holliday child, they interrogated Jeremy about his new relationship with Robin. After months of them dancing around flirtation, Robin finally told Jeremy that he had feelings for him and the rest was history. But even that didn’t take up the whole time. For what seemed like forever, the band sat close together, bouncing their legs up and down nervously, waiting for someone to tell them that Rosita and the baby were okay. 

“When we have kids,” Wynonna whispered in Mercedes’ ear, “we are going the adoption route.” 

Mercedes raised her eyebrows in surprise and felt her heart thump. _When_. She wasn’t given much time to think about the implications of Wynonna’s words since the door opened and a very flushed and euphoric looking Doc greeted them. 

The band stood up and walked up to him immediately, waiting for the news. 

“I-- She’s beautiful,” Doc announced with tears spilling from his eyes. “Rosie’s fine and so is my little girl. They’re both so perfect.” 

The band cheered and pulled him into a group hug as he told them things about the baby’s weight and length. 

“Rosita’s tired,” Doc explained as he led them back to the room. “She was so strong, though. So strong. But I know she _really_ wants to see you guys.” 

They entered the room and found a pale and sweaty Rosita grinning at the bundle in her arms. The baby was small and delicate, but there was no question that she was loved. She had a force behind her. A family that she could always rely on. 

“Hi, guys!” Rosita greeted with a smile on her face as the band slowly merged closer to the bed, afraid to cause too much commotion. “Come here, don’t be shy.” The band huddled around her to get a good look at the newborn who looked cross-eyed at them, unable to focus. “Her name’s Diana.” 

“After Rosita’s mom,” Doc explained as he stared at his girlfriend and daughter with awe. “We knew almost immediately. Doesn’t she look like a Diana?” 

The band nodded, still transfixed by the baby. She was so little and so real. It was terrifying and beautiful all at once. 

“Anyone want to hold their niece?” Rosita asked the group gently, knowing it would take some time to adjust to the change. 

One by one, the band held little Diana and felt the world shift under their feet.

* * *

Rosita and Doc’s wedding was just as unconventional as their relationship. The town doubted that the new parents would be able to hold it together as a young couple, but they proved them wrong. There was always talk of marriage, ever since Rosita got pregnant. Both of them _wanted_ to get married, but they didn’t want to do it because it was more socially acceptable than not getting married. They wanted to do what they wanted in their own time, even if it meant getting married once the family settled down. 

But now that they had settled, getting married felt right and they were both ready. They were practically married anyway, with their own little house and a baby. Of course, it wasn't always easy or that simple. Finding time to work, be a parent, and maintain a relationship was tough to delegate. But even though there were nights when the couple fought, they always forgave each other and were able to compromise. And that sustained them. 

“You sure you don’t want to get out and run?” Mercedes whispered as a joke in Rosita’s ears as Waverly placed the flowers gently in the bride’s hair. “Is Doc the guy you really want to settle with?” 

“We both know you’re my first choice, Mer,” Rosita joked with a grin and watched as Wynonna’s face faltered in the corner as she tried to put the small outfit onto baby Diana. “But he’s the baby daddy, so…” 

“Doc’s a good guy,” Waverly mentioned as she checked Rosita’s hair and made sure that it was perfect. “Not as good as Nicole but…” 

“Redheads do it best, right, little red?” Mercedes asked the other redhead who was now helping Wynonna with the squirming child. “We’re best in bed, too.” 

Nicole looked up at the older Earp sibling and watched her glare and she responded nervously (making sure that her eyes didn’t find Waverly’s for she knew she would immediately blush), “I don’t think Wynonna wants me to answer that question.” 

Waverly smirked and said, “That’s okay, Nicole. I can answer that. Nicole’s great--” 

Wynonna stuck her fingers in her ears and said, “Just because I moved out doesn’t mean that I want to hear about your romantic rendezvous, baby girl. You’re still my little sister. And I do not need any information about how good Haught is at…” She trailed off and pulled the squirming child into the outfit and said to the child, “You’ll never have sex, right?” 

Rosita laughed and said, “I thought _you_ said you’d be the one to educate her on all things sex-related. Who’s the prude now?” 

“No sex for Diana,” Wynonna argued and booped her nose, causing the baby to giggle and reach for the brunette’s nose. “Oh no, Diana! You got my nose!” 

The girls watched as the two girls bonded (like usual) and Rosita leaned over close to Mercedes and muttered, “She’s a keeper, you know. Marry her.” 

“One day,” Mercedes replied with a smile as she watched her girlfriend hold Diana like she was the most special treasure. “One day soon, hopefully.” 

They were all interrupted by a knock on the door. Jeremy called out, “Are you guys ready?” 

“We are!” Rosita called back and sighed, turning to her best friends. “Thank you guys for being here. But now you all have to go. ‘Nonna, are you good with Diana?” 

Wynonna nodded and smiled at the bride with confidence. “We’ll see you out there, Rosie. Shorty should be up here in a sec.” 

They left Rosita alone with her thoughts for only a few seconds before Shorty met her in Wynonna’s old bedroom. Like the gentleman he was, he asked if she was sure about this, which, of course she was. He took her hand and gently led her downstairs and out of the house. When the music started (and Rosita recognized the piano that could only be played as gracefully as Nicole) she gripped his arm and he opened the back door. 

She gaped at the sight in front of her; there was a trail of flower petals that led to Doc and Curtis, who was the officiant of the wedding. The couple only had a few invites, but all their family was there. She looked at all of them, these crazy teenagers that she met because of Doc. These people that let her in and showed her what it was like to truly belong and be a part of a family that wasn’t abusive or daunting. She loved them. 

Her daughter was bouncing in Wynonna’s arms and Rosita smiled at her, aching for her. But her eyes landed on Doc. She met him when he was this immature bartender who didn’t know how to take care of himself. Now, he was the man she relied on and loved. And she fell in love even further when he became a father and learned how to be the dad that he would have wanted as a kid. 

Shorty placed her hand onto Doc’s and she felt her heart race. Even though they had been together for a while now, in his presence, she always felt excited to be around him. 

Curtis used poetry and lyrics to describe their relationship, but he knew that they were itching to lock lips and be in each other’s arms. Once they said ‘I do,’ they were bombarded by a roar of cheers from their family. 

But it was the after-party that would go down in history, though, many of them wouldn’t actually remember the whole night. Most of the group was severely drunk by the end of the night (besides Rosita and Wynonna). Xavier and Doc wouldn’t remember their soulful karaoke duet as they performed “Call Me Maybe” and “Just Dance” even though their friends would never _ever_ stop talking about it. Jeremy wouldn’t remember grinding on literally everyone on the dance floor (especially his boyfriend, Robin). Nicole wouldn’t remember asking Wynonna for her permission to marry Waverly over and over and over again. Wynonna wouldn’t tell the redhead about that (she didn’t want to give her any ideas). Waverly wouldn’t remember trying to show everyone her old cheerleading moves while she kept trying to convince her aunt and uncle that she wasn’t drunk at all. Mercedes wouldn’t remember speaking constantly in sexual innuendos and at one point whispering to Wynonna, “I can get you pregnant.” 

Wynonna and Rosita would remember everything, on the other hand, but would be spending the rest of their lives trying to forget parts of the night. The two of them spent the night not only watching to make sure Diana didn’t get into trouble, but making sure all the other children didn’t do something stupid. 

“You know,” Rosita said as she and the other brunette watched the group of drunk young adults dance to old Fall Out Boy foolishly. “I’m thinking that you and I should just go on this honeymoon trip ourselves. Just leave them all behind. We deserve it after tonight.” 

Wynonna smirked and replied, “As nice as that sounds, who is going to take care of those babies when their hangover hits them so hard that they won’t be able to move?” 

Rosita shrugged and said, “Karma?” 

“Hardcore, Mrs. Holliday. Hardcore. Maybe we should have been the ones to get married. We could always have a lavish affair.” 

“It’d be one for the history books. Doc and Mercedes would be upset, though,” Rosita pointed out with a fake pout. “So maybe we shouldn’t. At least not now.” 

Wynonna nodded and added, “There is always later.” 

The two of them laughed and continued to talk and dance with Diana and their arms, not wanting such a perfect day to ever end.

* * *

“You know,” Curtis called out as he opened the door, finding his niece standing outside the Homestead in the freezing cold and snow, just gazing at the house for seemingly no reason. “It’s warmer _inside_.” 

A grin crept on Wynonna’s face and she nodded. “I know. It’s just that, sometimes it hits you, ya know? How much things have changed.” 

Curtis nodded wisely and replied, “This place will always be your home, Wynonna. Even if you don’t live here, it’s your home. That’s a constant.” 

She knew that, truly, she understood it. Despite it holding memories that still made her quiver at the thought, more good memories outweighed the bad. And she knew that soon that house would reside her favorite people. Some of which she hadn’t seen in a while and others that she saw at least every day. 

“Still staring at the Homestead, babe?” Mercedes asked as she approached the brunette from their car and wrapped her arm around her waist. She waved at her girlfriend’s uncle and said, “She did this last time, too.” 

“It’s good to see you, Mercedes. Can I help you with those bags you’ve got?” 

Mercedes let him help with the bags full of presents that she was holding (Wynonna had her own bags that she was carrying). She kissed the brunette’s cheek and whispered, “come inside,” and tugged her hand. 

Wynonna followed her into the house that was already full of laughter and Christmas lights that overwhelmed the room. She smiled and thought about how Waverly believed that there could _never_ be too many Christmas decorations. She immediately darted toward Curtis’ classic cookies that Jeremy was stuffing himself with. The brunette grabbed a cookie that he picked up right out of his hands and laughed as he began chasing her around the living room. 

Dolls shared an exasperated look with Mercedes as the two of them sat together on the couch and watched as Eliza joined in on the chase. The two of them were known for being the sane members of the household as Wynonna, Jeremy, and Eliza tended to goof off and avoid doing chores. The house dynamic was slightly different when Jeremy was off at college, but Wynonna and Eliza continued their prank wars and having fun. There was never a dull moment in Mercedes’ mansion. 

“Someone’s going to get hurt,” Waverly muttered as she joined the two on the couch. “On Christmas, no less.” 

“Well, at least you don’t _live_ with that anymore,” Mercedes told her not so quietly. “Was she always bad at doing chores?” 

“You couldn’t get Wynonna to do the dishes even if it would save the world from ending,” Gus mentioned and passed the three of them hot chocolates with a wink. “Thank the lord she has other qualities and talents.” 

Breathless, Wynonna stopped, popped the whole cookie into her mouth, and turned to her friends on the couch. “Are you guys talking about _me_?” 

“Of course not, ‘Nonna,” Waverly lied with a smile and got up to hug her sister. “We never talk about you.” 

The sisters hugged tightly. Even though they saw each other all the time, it was still hard to be separate from each other. Wynonna made a hard decision finally moving in with her girlfriend, but leaving Waverly was the hardest thing she had to do. Luckily, the younger sibling didn’t take it personally and understood that the couple needed to be together. Besides, Waverly spent many nights over at the mansion and Wynonna always had her room at the Homestead. There was no keeping the Earp sisters apart for long. 

“I’m sure you don’t. So, when is everyone else coming? I want to open presents! I thought we were going to be late.” Wynonna pointed to Jeremy, Mercedes, Dolls, and Eliza and added, “It takes years for all of us to get ready.” 

Almost on cue, the front door opened and a small human raced into the house before her parents got the chance to catch her. Little Diana Holliday laughed at the sound of all her favorite people cheering at the sight of her. She hugged everyone she came across and no one could deny an embrace from such a charismatic bundle of joy. Not even a year old (though almost), Diana was already rambunctious and social, walking (more like running) and talking at a younger age than most kids. Though, most of the time she ended up falling and her talking was just jumbled words. 

Wynonna made an “oof” sound as the little thing wrapped her arms around her favorite human (besides her parents). 

“Sorry, Wynonna,” Rosita called out with a tired smile. “She was so excited when we got here. She ran out of the car and just barged in.” 

“That sounds like typical Wynonna Earp,” Nicole Haught mentioned casually at the door with bags in her hand and a grin on her face as she saw the brunette pick the child up in her arms. “Is Diana following her aunt’s footsteps?” 

It was a race to see who could get to the redhead first. Jeremy, Wynonna (carrying the young Diana), Mercedes, and Waverly ran to Nicole. The younger Earp sibling won. 

The couple hadn’t seen each other since fall break and had spent most of Nicole’s freshman year of college writing letters, emails, and skyping each other. But they couldn’t deny that it was nowhere close to as good as spending time together in person. 

“God, I missed you,” Nicole whispered in Waverly’s ear before kissing her again, trying to make up for the lost time. 

“Who are we?” Wynonna asked her with pretend jealousy. “Chopped liver?” 

Waverly let go of her girlfriend only to hit her sister’s shoulder. “You _live_ and _work_ with your girlfriend. You don’t get to complain.” 

Nicole laughed, unsurprised about the whole conversation, and pulled Wynonna, Jeremy, and Mercedes into a hug. Diana giggled and the redhead turned to the baby and placed her hand gently on the girl’s head as she let go of her friends.

“Man, she’s getting so big,” Nicole said softly, sad about missing what seemed like so much. “Have you been a good girl for your parents?” 

“She’s a menace,” Doc muttered with a grin as he and his wife approached the group. “But she’s an angel.”

Nicole laughed and hugged the Holliday's and Dolls’. Even though she had seen all her friends two months ago, she missed them more than anything. Being with them again felt like being back home. Her parents weren’t too thrilled about her spending Christmas with her friends, but she was an adult now. She could make her own choices. 

The Christmas tree was now overflowing with gifts since everyone got at least one gift for each person. The band thought about doing a secret Santa kind of thing, but there was no way anyone could stop them from still getting everyone a gift. 

Gus placed a platter of cookies on the table and Curtis brought over several mugs of cocoa. The band sat around the table and told Nicole and Jeremy about what had changed since the last time they were in Purgatory. Diana went from person to person, spending time on all of their laps to get as much attention as possible. 

Finally, once she was done with being patient, Wynonna groaned, “When are we going to open the presents?” The family looked around at each other before bursting out into laughter. The brunette’s face fell as she looked around the room and said, “What?! Why are you guys laughing?” Which, of course, made everyone laugh that much harder. 

* * *

The bar was buzzing with excitement. The Chaotic Peacemakers hadn’t played a set in years, but this was a special occasion. Curtis and Gus were now married for thirty-five years and the whole town was celebrating. All the couple asked for was to hear the band play again, which wasn’t too big of an ask since they were all itching to pick up their instruments and pluck out some new tunes. Life had gotten in the way from playing for years, whether it was getting used to a new job, popping out children, or normal adulthood business, but now they had a reason to get on the stage and play for two adults that supported them through thick and thin. 

“I’m nervous, are you nervous? I’m nervous.” Jeremy muttered to his friend as he spun around the bar, trying to make sure the sound system and instruments were all in place. 

“Relax, Chetri-Jett,” Mercedes warned with a hand on his shoulder. “It’s gonna be great. We’ve practiced as much as we can and there’s no one here to impress. You’ve already got the man of your dreams, right?” 

Jeremy looked over and found Robin playing with their twin two-year-olds, Eliot and Stevie, as they dragged Hot Wheel cars all over the floor, giggling when they crashed. Robin joined in with the game but didn’t let them crash. He tried to tell them that car crashes weren’t good, but they didn’t listen to their dad. 

“I lucked out,” Jeremy agreed with a grin. “Are we sure that Waverly will be able to perform with her… condition?” 

The two of them looked around to find the _heavily_ pregnant woman chat animatedly with her sister and Doc. Waverly had told them over and over again that she could perform, even with the due date around the corner. 

“She’ll probably smack you if you ask her again,” Mercedes told him with a sigh. “Besides, I think her wife is all over that. If you ask me, I think Waverly’s tired of little red’s constant worry. The poor girl spent a night at our place a few nights ago. Said she was tired of Nicole bugging her.” 

Jeremy nodded and added, “It’s Nicole’s first kid. And with all the trouble they had getting pregnant, I’m not surprised that her instinct is to protect and take over. She also has what I call 'cop-syndrome'. She can’t turn it off. Besides, we have all been like that before. Wynonna was on edge for the few months before Flynn arrived, right? And I was a flat out mess before Chrissy gave birth to the twins.” 

“What are you guys talking about?” Xavier asked them as he approached them, spinning his drumsticks in his hands carefully. 

“Haught being a hot-mess,” Mercedes explained with a smirk. “So, are you thinking of kids yet, pal?” 

Xavier glared at her and replied, “Jaime and I haven’t even talked about marriage yet. Besides, I feel like I already have a lot of kids. And I’m talking about you guys, not your kids.” 

“Haha,” Mercedes muttered sarcastically before sticking her tongue out at him. “Don’t you see our kids and just want to have a billion of them?” 

He grinned and slapped both of them on the shoulder. “Honestly, seeing how stressed out you guys get, I’m just happy Jaime and I have nights in peace together. Except when Eliza’s over. She’s still practically a kid.” 

“Um, no I’m not,” Xavier’s sister interrupted with her hands on her hips. “Jaime is too good for you, asshole. I only come around to your place because of them. _They_ don’t see me as just a random kid.” 

Xavier ruffled Eliza’s hair and pulled her into a hug, telling her, “You’re not a kid. You’re just still a poor college kid who likes eating my food.” 

Rosita and Diana approached them and the twelve-year-old asked them impatiently, “When is it going to start?” 

“Diana still doesn’t believe that we are actually any good,” Rosita told the others with a pout on her face. “She thinks her mom and dad are lame.” 

“Not lame,” Diana corrected with flushed embarrassment. “Just… old. Jas is the one who thinks that you’re lame.” 

“Jasper’s seven,” Mercedes snorted. “Your brother knows nothing. Besides, you’re going to see how cool we all are when we start playing. Which we should be doing in a few minutes. Can you get all the kids together and make sure that everyone is in place? Your grandparents should be here any second.” 

Diana raced off and the adults watched as the twelve-year-old tried to gather all the kids and settle them down. It amused the adults greatly since it was practically impossible to calm Claudia and Jasper down.

Once they heard their names being called, they then moved toward Waverly, Wynonna, and Doc who were talking about something the younger brunette learned as she looked through the town archives, as the self-appointed town archivist and historian. She was attempting to concentrate on her job rather than the performance, but it wasn’t helping Wynonna or Doc shake away any of their pre-show jitters. They were waiting for the door to open and Nicole, Gus, and Curtis to enter so that they could begin. 

Xavier offered a story about him and Jaime rescuing a cat from a tree, which was what happened more often than anything else as firefighters in such a small town. Jeremy, who was the town’s _first_ forensic analyst and expert, could relate. He and Nicole (who replaced Xavier’s father in the police department once the group had shown the sheriff the video of the abuse) rarely got too many cases that didn’t involve drugs or petty crimes.

“Hey, are you okay?” Mercedes asked her wife who was making movements like she had to pee. 

Wynonna nodded and pulled at her tight pants. “The ye olde leather pants don’t fit like they used to. You know, our smartass daughter asked if they were appropriate!” 

Mercedes chuckled and said, “They aren’t, baby. But that’s why I like em, you know that. Flynn’s fourteen and her mom is a total MILF. She’ll get over it. Speaking of, you doing okay over there, hot mama?” 

Waverly glared at her sister-in-law and replied, “Doing just great, Mer. It’s just that I feel like peeing all the time. But it’s fine. Everything’s fine.” 

Rosita put a comforting hand on the pregnant girl’s shoulder and asked, “Missing Nicole?” 

“Dreadfully,” Waverly answered honestly with a pout. “But don’t tell her. It’ll go straight to her head. She’s already-- they’re here!” 

The band turned around and saw the three of them enter as the audience erupted into cheers. Gus and Curtis were loved by the town, but no one loved them more than their grandchildren. Immediately, all the kids ran up to them and gave them giant hugs, almost knocking them down. 

Nicole squeezed through the group of people and made her way to her wife and best friends. She kissed Waverly and told her that she loved her. The two of them had been through a lot: long distance, a dangerous job, and dealing with a crazy family. But nothing rocked them more than trying to have kids. It took years of trying different things and crying and praying, but it finally happened. They held onto each other through the storm and made it through to see the clear skies. 

After the small reunion, the band made their way onto the stage and Wynonna turned on the mic, ready to introduce the band. 

“Yo, everyone! Hi, it’s great to see you all. As you know, today is my aunt and uncle’s wedding anniversary. Gus and Curtis are the best people I have ever known. Without them, I’m not sure I would be here tonight as happy as I am. They showed me what it was like to love someone unconditionally and fully and we just want to show our love to them. We made this band when we were all horrible teenagers, but now that we’re horrible adults and embarrassing parents, we thought we’d give it a go again. This song is dedicated to Curtis and Gus McCready.” 

The song began with the strumming of a guitar, courtesy of Doc Holliday. It’s soft and delicate but gradually became louder. Then, Wynonna joined in with Nicole. It’s gentle and graceful and the song almost sounded completely different when Xavier came in at the pre-chorus, making it sound more intense. When the next verse came, Jeremy and Rosita joined in, both playing bass. Then finally, the chorus began when Waverly joined Wynonna in singing the lines, “It’s the weight of love in your arms,” over and over again. 

The performance wasn’t seamless, but it was genuine. And based on the crowd reaction, the performance was well-liked. After the song and the cheers, the band bowed comedically and then met up with Gus and Curtis (both holding a Chetri-Jett twin) who were still applauding when they approached them. 

“That was wonderful,” Curtis told them with a warm smile on his face. “Thank you so much. That was the best gift I could ever ask for.” 

“You sent me back in time,” Gus added with a grin. “Made me feel younger again.” 

“It was actually pretty cool,” Diana admitted with a flushed smile. “I didn’t know that you guys could play that good.” 

Flynn wrapped her arm around her cousin and said with a devilish grin, “Di and I were just discussing whether or not you’d choke up on stage. Jas thought that one of you would throw up.” 

Jasper gasped and hit Flynn’s shoulder. “I didn’t say that!” 

“Liar,” Flynn’s younger sister, Claudia, muttered with a smile. “Jas thought you’d freeze up there, Uncle Doc.” 

Doc gasped dramatically and Jeremy whispered to his two-year-old kids, “Thank god you two can only babble.” 

“You all thought that I was going to be hella cool though, right? I’m still the cool parent, right?” Wynonna asked the group of kids who all looked at each other like they were guilty. “Save it, urchins. You’re all lucky you have parents as cool as us.” 

“We had the best mentors to show us how to be cool,” Waverly added and nodded toward her aunt and uncle. “Tonight was for you two. We all really couldn’t have done this without you.” 

Gus waved it off as if what her niece was saying was unnecessary. “You kids are our pride and joy. All of you. Our lives are so much fuller because of you.” 

“You both taught me that family isn’t about blood relation,” Nicole commented with tears in her eyes and her wife wrapped her arms around her. “Family is about having people who love and support you, no matter what. I was… I didn’t have a family who appreciated me for me, but Gus and Curtis, you welcomed me with open arms. And now look how big this family is.” 

They all looked around and took in how much had changed since those early fateful nights in the barn where they tried to put songs together and learn how to let others in. Awkward, broken kids that needed a little love and attention to make them whole again. Songs can be used as a jolt of power, but it’s the sharing and singing of the songs that can make one feel electric. Music is a band-aid for the soul and lyrics can mend a broken heart, but it’s _people_ that have the ability to save other people. And that’s what the band did for each other. 

After the kids begged them to play more songs, the band returned to the small stage and announced they would play a few more songs. With concentrated smiles on their faces, they powered through songs of the past, ones that brought up good memories and even a few bad ones. Though, the bad ones didn’t hurt anymore; their scars had faded and memories became only a reminder of how things had changed for the better.

As they sang their last song, they saw their kids dancing with each other, laughing and having fun without a care in the world. The kids would go through hardships, as any kid would, but they would never have to deal with what the band went through. They never had to be broken kids seeking the unconditional love that the band did. And suddenly, after everything they went through together, all their pain felt worth it for this moment. When everything felt electric. 

_When will we believe it? When will we see the light?_

_Stop running from it_

_Why do we keep denying that we can feel it?_

_When we've got each other and we are electric together_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for reading! Please review if you can!
> 
> (If you convince me I might write some more one-shots in the future)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think! Comments are wonderful!


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